by Lauren Smith
“But . . .” Letty blushed. “I didn’t even have a chance to speak with my mother before she passed. I don’t know what to . . . what to expect tonight.”
Caroline and Gillian exchanged looks. “We should wait until after the wedding breakfast to speak of this,” Gillian said. “You have enough to worry about right now with the ceremony.”
“I have a reason to worry? No, please. You must tell me now. I cannot wait that long.” She needed to have some idea of what to expect tonight with Lord Morrey. His brief yet incredible kisses had left her overanxious.
“We’ll tell you in the coach,” Caroline said decisively as she ushered Letty from the room.
The morning was crisp, and Letty was thankful to see an enclosed coach waiting for them when they reached the door. Before she had a chance to savor her last moments at Chilgrave as an unwed woman, she was bundled into the coach and driven to the chapel.
Her companions attempted to avoid her gaze as they spoke about the flowers they’d sent over to the chapel with the footmen early that morning. Letty was not to be deterred, however, and was grateful for the privacy of the coach so she could speak freely to the two other women without worrying that anyone might overhear.
“Now, tell me.”
Caroline’s face reddened. “You start, Gilly. I shouldn’t know about any of this.”
“It’s all right.” Gillian covered her halfsister’s hand with her own, giving it a comforting squeeze. Letty realized that something must have happened to Caroline, yet she had never breathed a word of what it might be. Gillian seemed to know the secret, but they were siblings, after all. It was only natural that they share such things. By comparison, Letty was practically a stranger to Caroline.
“Right, well, you know that a man’s member is . . . well . . .” Gillian’s face was red now too.
“I’ve seen statues,” Letty assured her.
“Yes, well, a man’s member is not that small when he is interested in a woman. During lovemaking, it increases in size and becomes hard like the shaft of an arrow. Only . . . well, much wider, of course.”
Letty drew in a breath at the thought. That was a bit frightening.
“And then, you see, after some preparation, a woman is able to take that shaft into her body. Some men thrust only once or twice, but it usually takes more for them to achieve satisfaction.”
Letty paled. That sounded positively dreadful.
“What she means,” Caroline injected, “is that there is a rhythm a man and a woman can find together if they try. It might hurt a little at first. Some women experience very little pain, but others . . . It can be a bit more, but it does fade. Ask for him to hold still, until the burning between your thighs disappears. But with a bit of practice, our bodies can stretch to accommodate them inside us. You might be sore after the first time, but that is quite normal. If you feel yourself becoming anxious, just kiss him. That’s quite important. You need to focus on how it feels to be with him, to kiss and caress him. That’s the only way you can calm yourself that first time and ensure your pleasure.”
Putting aside worries about pain, she focused instead on what she thought was more important. “What is the pleasure like?” She had heard something about what the exquisite power of that final passionate moment between a man and a woman could be like. But she did not see how a body could feel the depth of what she’d heard described in those giggled whispers.
“Your body feels out of control, and the sensations . . . It’s hard to explain, but don’t be frightened by it,”Caroline said.“I thought I might die the first time I felt it.”
“But don’t be fooled by that,” Gillian added. “Embrace it, even if it scares you.”
Letty remembered all too vividly how Lord Morrey had spoken of their coming union and the way that she’d responded to him, how her slight fear of him had played some role in her arousal. No doubt he knew exactly what to do with her tonight. That thought reassured her. It also worried her.
“If you are frightened, you can always have a bit of warm brandy right before,” Caroline suggested. “It soothes one’s nerves.”
Letty took all of this in, more mystified than before as to what to expect. Yet she knew one thing with certainty—she would be having that glass of brandy tonight.
When the coach stopped before the small church, a footman helped Gillian and Caroline out first, then assisted Letty. The two other women would share the role of bridesmaids today. One handed her a small bouquet of lilies and white roses, while the other smoothed out Letty’s veil. Her veil had been attached to the tips of the coronet and trailed down behind her. The lace was sheer, almost as finely spun as a spider’s web.
“There,” Caroline said. “You’re ready.” The two women then walked ahead of Letty into the church to take their seats.
She stood alone at the end of the aisle, staring straight toward the altar where Lord Morrey and her brother stood. She thought for an instant of the embarrassing secret James had shared the other day, of how she used to marry her dolls off as a girl. But to her it had never been about a woman becoming a man’s possession or tying her identity to a man. It was about finding a companion, a partner she could share her secret dreams and innermost thoughts with. The person she would have children with, and they would raise them together. A person who would belong to her as much as she would to him.
And now the time had come for her to live out the first part of her dream. Marriage began upon the wedding day; this was the beginning. Now she was to be married to a man who’d promised to be what she’d always hoped for in a husband, a man who saw the real her.
I know there is fire in you.
Letty inhaled slowly, watching Lord Morrey just as he watched her. He cut a rakishly handsome figure in his dark-blue coat and gold waistcoat with white breeches. The lilies and wild orchids around him reminded her of how he’d insisted she would have what she wished for their wedding. It said much about the kind of man he was.
This man would be her husband if she was brave enough to take a leap of faith, and that leap began with the smallest of steps down the aisle.
Just one step.
The step she took was almost a halfstep, uncertain and hesitant, but the next was stronger. By the time she reached the altar and lifted her face to gaze upon Adam, she was confident of her decision.
His gaze searched hers, as though he sensed the battle she had fought at the entrance of the church. She smiled at him shyly, and the solemn, serious Lord Morrey suddenly winked at her.
The vicar cleared his throat and began the service. Letty was more aware than ever of Lord Morrey’s hand touching hers as they spoke their vows and when he slipped the ring on her finger, which matched the coronet resting upon her head. That awkward feeling of having all the eyes of their guests upon her faded a bit as she focused on the singular sensation of Morrey touching her. Not for a moment did she feel his attention lay anywhere but on her, providing a lovely sort of romantic magic she hadn’t expected, at least not so soon. It made the weight of her vows that much stronger and that much more meaningful.
“Let no man put asunder what God hath joined together,” the vicar continued on.
Letty thought of this enigma of a man who would soon share with her the mysteries of the bedchamber. A spy, a dangerous man, a man who seemed to understand more about her than she understood about herself. And now he was her husband.
The ceremony ended, and Morrey tucked her arm into his. The possessive husbandly gesture was strangely comforting. At first, she kept her distance, only their arms touching as she came to terms with being married so suddenly. But as the crush of their friends came toward them, she leaned closer to Morrey, relying on his strength as they faced everyone gathered at the front of the church to speak with them.
“Congratulations!” Audrey St. Laurent kissed her cheek and whispered more softly, “Remember, you are in control. Do not let your husband think he is in charge.” She winked at Letty, who could only stare at her.
Be in charge of Lord Morrey? It simply wasn’t possible. That man was out of her league when it came to control.
They made their way through the small crowd and over to the Morrey coach that waited outside. Morrey opened the door and grasped her waist, lifting her up. The crowd behind them cheered, and a few of the League of Rogues tossed out suggestive comments about where Morrey should have put his hands, which earned a sharp bark of “Silence!” from James, which only resulted in more hoots and good-humored laughter.
Once inside the coach, they sat opposite each other, both stunned that they had indeed gone through with the whirlwind marriage. Letty could still feel the heat and gentle pressure of his hands on her waist, even though he no longer touched her. Morrey held out a hand to her as the enclosed coach rolled into motion. Letty gazed at the offered hand, that shyness returning. Then with a steadying breath, she accepted his hand, uncertain what it was he desired.
“Come sit by me.” He pulled her gently, and she acquiesced. She pressed against his side as he put an arm around her shoulder, feeling so warm. Her gloved hands turned over fretfully in her cloak before she hesitantly reached for his other hand, which rested on his thigh. He turned his palm up, and his fingers closed around hers, warm, gentle, firm. Her trembling breaths calmed as she felt blanketed by the safety of this man beside her.
They were silent for most of the drive back to Chilgrave. She wished she had the ability to know what he was thinking. The longer she looked at him, the more he seemed to become aware of her focus.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
She nodded, still staring at him.
“What is it?”
“I . . . it’s very silly,” she said, and turned her face away. But he caught her chin and turned her back toward him.
“Tell me.” His voice was commanding, but gentle rather than stern.
“It’s . . . well . . . I wish to know what you are thinking.” She waited for him to laugh at her for such a silly thought.
“You wish to know my thoughts?”
She nodded.
He looked confusedfor a moment, and then his expression turned to one of amusement. “At the moment they are quite a lot. I’m worried Mrs. Oxley hasn’t had time to prepare the wedding breakfast. I’m thinking of how I must meet with my estate steward this afternoon, and I’m worried about Lady Edwards, as well as the other men and women who work alongside me in London. And last, but certainly not least, I am thinking of you.” He brushed his gloved fingertips over her cheek.
“Me?” Letty was even more curious and a fair bit anxious to know what those thoughts were.
“Yes. I have a wife now. You will take precedence in my mind from now on. I’m occupied with thoughts of caring for you, protecting you, especially from any dangers that may result from the grave error I made at Lady Allerton’s ball.”
At this, Letty put a hand on his knee, silencing him briefly.
“I’ve been thinking about that. I was stunned at first to find myself in a forced marriage, but if you hadn’t come after me, well, whoever fired that pistol would have succeeded in their goal of silencing Lady Edwards, and likely me as well. So you see, if you hadn’t done what you did, I’d be dead rather than married, and I do prefer marriage infinitely more than being deceased.”
At this, Morrey—Adam, she reminded herself—chuckled. “Marriage to me is preferable to death? Thank heavens for that.”
Letty, emboldened by his laugh, nudged him in the ribs with an elbow. She had the sudden urge to embroider those words upon a handkerchief for him. She did love to tease and be teased. She hoped, in time, she would discover that Adam had a teasing side as well.
“You know very well what I meant. You also know that I find you . . .” She stalled.
Lust darkened his eyes. “Yes? How do you find me?”
“I . . . I find you quite handsome. Very charming.And more than a little intimidating . . .” Each time she spoke, he shifted closer, and she instinctively retreated each time toward the corner of the coach, until he effectively caged her in with his body. It was done so subtly, yet with such clear purpose that she marveled at how he’d directed her so easily to move where he wished without even touching her. Their new sensual predator and prey position made her blood hum in fevered excitement.
“Do you wish to know how I find you?” he asked, his voice lower now. His laughter had been replaced with a tone of silken seduction that left her with no doubt as to what he planned to say, at least in generalities.
“I find you sweet, innocent and love the way you blush when I touch you. Yet I see that carnal hunger in your eyes, and I get lost in thoughts of all the wicked things I wish to do to you.” He tilted her head up as he lowered himself until their mouths were but inches apart. “I dreamt of you last night, just as I said I would.” His voice softened into a whisper against her skin, and her mouth ran dry as her lower belly began to fill with a heavy warmth.
In one fluid motion, he pulled her onto his lap so that she sat across his thighs, his hands exploring her lower back, the heat of his palms warming her through the fabric of her wedding gown. She trembled at the feel of being held so tightly in his arms. Their mouths hovered so close, and only when she closed her eyes did his lips press to hers. His kiss was persuasive, coaxing, as he lured her deeper under his sensual spell. His tongue flicked against the seam of her lips, and she hesitantly opened to him.
“That’s it, love—opento me,” he whispered against her mouth. He sounded so sinful. So erotic. She pressed closer, and his arms tightened around her. She felt trapped, and she loved the thrill of it. Audrey might have advised her to control her husband, but Letty liked it when Adam was in control. At least in this. She felt safe, even with the hint of fear that accompanied him. It was what made him impossibly alluring.
“You taste sweet. As sweet as can be,” he said before kissing her again.
She arched into him as his hands began to roam over her body. She wanted him to touch her everywhere. Wriggling on his lap, she felt something hard beneath her bottom.
“Easy, sweetheart,” he said, and chuckled as he kissed her throat. “You’ll be the death of me.”
“Did I hurt you?”
“Far from it. In fact, I think you should—” The coach stopped, and Adam cursed softly. “Bloody wedding breakfast.”
“Couldn’t we simply tell the coachman to drive around a bit longer?”
At this, her husband laughed. She loved the sound. For such a serious man, that simple sound changed him completely.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he said again, the endearment falling easily from his lips. “I am sorely tempted to do just that, but we’ve caused enough scandal as it is. Besides, when I claim your body, I would rather not be rushed. And once you understand why, you will be grateful I exercised some measure of restraint at this moment.”
He gently set her on the seat beside him, and they smoothed out their clothes.
“Thank heavens I didn’t muss your hair,” he said as he opened the door. A flustered footman assisted her down. It must have been clear to the young man what had been going on inside, and that was why he hadn’t dared to open the door.
Adam and Letty now entered their home for the first time as husband and wife. She had hoped to feel suddenly in command of Chilgrave, yet it didn’t feel as though anything had changed inside of her. She still felt like a guest who would eventually be asked to pack up her valise and leave. But that wasn’t going to happen. She was here to stay. This was her new home. She and Adam had a few moments to collect themselves in an adjoining drawing room, where she hastily sipped from a glass of champagne before they entered the dining room to greet their arriving guests.
The dining room was decorated with lilies and orchids, lending the feel of a garden to the beautiful dining room. The table was laden with a dozen small bridecakes, and the scent of oranges filled the air. Mrs. Oxley had outdone herself, offering a host of other dishes for the guests and champagn
e poured into slender flutes.
“Heavens,” Letty whispered at the sight of the festive spread.
Adam smiled fondly. “Though she can be grumpy, Mrs. Oxley does love weddings. I can only imagine how thrilled she was to finally be the head cook at one. Usually she volunteers to cook for the villagers nearby when weddings occur there.”
“That’s lovely.” It delighted her to know that the servants in her new home were so caring and kind.
Adam retrieved one of the bridecakes and cut out a tiny piece. He held it out with his fingertips.
“I wouldn’t want you to miss this,” he said. The intimate gesture made a low heat burn in her belly as he placed a small bite of cake between her lips.
“It’s quite good,” she said as she swallowed the sugary bite. “You should have some too.” She reached for the cake, but the sound of guests arriving halted her. Adam offered her a soft smile when he saw her disappointment.
“We’ll have plenty of time for that later.” They met their guests, and she did her best to embrace her new role as Countess of Morrey. As Adam’s wife.
She and Adam split apart to better greet the guests. She still snuck glances at him every few minutes, and she was delighted and a little shocked to see that he was watching her with the same interest.
At one point, Adam was surrounded by a group of tall, rakish men. She knew them to be the League of Rogues, and she giggled at the sight of him. Whatever the men were telling him must have shocked him to his core. He looked suddenly as though he’d lost his footing and ran a hand through his hair, murmuring a reply to the group that made them all burst out laughing.
Audrey and Gillian now stood next to Letty. “What the devil do you think they are talking about?”
“I’m afraid to know,” Gillian replied as she noticed her husband was among them.
Audrey sighed in disappointment. “It makes one very angry that one cannot simply transform into a potted plant so that one could sit close by and listen unobserved.”
Gillian, who’d been taking a drink, and Letty, who’d been about to take another bite of bridecake, stared at her before both women started laughing. The bit of cake on Letty’s fork dropped to the carpet between her slippered feet.