by Lauren Smith
“Always so damned noble. Now you know how I felt, Adam. Well, you need not carry your burden any longer. I killed the French agents who were after me long ago. It was the perfect way to disappear.”
“What of Avery’s men? You killed every last one of them. They were innocent.”
“Innocent?” John laughed. “They were tools for the Crown, just like you. Their lives don’t matter.”
Adam drew in a steadying breath. “Every life matters, from the street urchinsto the spies who perished at the townhouse in Grosvenor Square.”
“We disagree, then.” John suddenly looked to Letty, and his pistol shifted toward her. “Unfortunately, I must be done with this quickly.”
“No. Let my wife go. She’s not part of this.”
“Not part of this? She’s one of the best spies I’ve seen in years. I can’t allow either of you to go free.” John’s voice was so cold, so hard, that Adam wondered if he’d imagined the John he’d once loved like a brother. Had that man ever been real?
“You fool, she isn’t a bloody spy. It was all a mistake that night at Lady Allerton’s ball.”
Adam thought he saw brief surprise in John’s eyes. “Why did you marry her, then, if not so she could continue her spying with a guardian in tow?”
“To protect her. Because I desired her as I have no other woman. You should remember what that’s like. Or did you never love my sister at all?”
John flinched at the mention of Caroline. For an instant, Adam saw his friend, not this monster.
“Please, John, let my wife leave. She won’t be able to find you or do anything to stand in your way. She’s harmless.”
Letty stepped up next to Adam, laced her fingers in his, and leaned against his shoulder.
“I’m not leaving. I’m here until the end, whatever it may be.”
Adam’s heart fractured. He had been right from the start about his wife, about her bravery and her loyalty. Adam squeezed her hand before pushing her away from him.“And that is why you must go.”
John’s voice grew quiet. “You were a good friend to me, Adam. I didn’t want things to end this way. You joined the wrong side, but your heart was in the right place. You have your chance to leave, Lady Morrey. Go before I change my mind.”
“Go, Letty,” Adam commanded her.
His wife raised her chin and stood her ground. “You’ve failed, you know.”
“You mean the gunpowder? Perhaps. The tide may yet be turned once I am done here.”
“No, you’ve made an even graver mistake.”
“And what is that?”
Letty moved closer to Adam, once more taking his hand in hers, linking her fate to his. “You forget that there are still noble men and women in this world. Those who believe in the goodness of man, not their evil. Even if you succeed tonight, you cannot win.”
“I can and I will.” John leveled the gun at Adam. “It’s time we finish this.”
A shot rang out in the tunnel, and Adam pulled Letty into his arms, shielding her from whatever may come. He clenched her tightly, waiting to feel death steal him away from her.
John gasped and moaned. Adam opened his eyes to see John fall to his knees. Behind them a few feet away in the darkness stood Caroline, a pistol in her hand. She stared at John with a look of terror and disbelief. The pistol clattered to the ground as she rushed to catch John before he fell onto his back. Caroline cradled his head in her lap.
“Caro? What are you doing here?” John murmured. The hate in his features faded away as he gazed up at her.
“You forgot about me, John. About my love,” Caroline whispered.
Adam’s throat tightened. He held Letty close as he watched his friend draw shallow breaths.
“I never forgot,” John breathed. “You were always with me. I wanted a better world for you.” The sincerity in his voice was undeniable.
Caroline sniffed and wiped at her eyes with a balled fist. “Love and hate cannot dwell in equal measure. Somewhere along the way, you let me go to hold on to something else. But I held on to you, John. Even after our daughter died.”
John coughed, blood coating his lips.“Daughter?”
“Yes. When I heard you’d died, I grew upset, and she came into the world too early.”
“What was she like?” John asked.
“She was beautiful, with your fair hair and my eyes. I named her Elizabeth after my mother.” Caroline stroked her fingertips over John’s brow as if to try to smooth away his worries. “I wish you could have seen her. You would have adored her.”
“Our child . . . ,” John rasped.
Adam felt his own lungs tighten as if he couldn’t breathe. He would’ve given John his own breath once.
“Now I must let you go,” Caroline told John, her voice full of tenderness for a man who’d hurt them both so deeply.
Adam would never understand how she managed it. Love was a strange and wondrous thing, but right now it was pain unimaginable. Caroline had let love rule her heart, even when faced with John’s betrayal. She was a better person than he was. He couldn’t forgive John, not like Caroline was.
“Caro . . .” John’s body was jerking as death began to creep in on him.
“Go find our daughter. She needs you now.” Caroline bent her head to John’s and pressed her lips to his forehead as he exhaled and went still.
Adam and Letty stayed motionless for a long moment. Adam stared at John’s lifeless body. He had lost him again. The pain he’d expected to banish had only deepened, like tearing open a scar. Caroline began to sob, rocking John’s body in her lap. His sister’s grief shook Adam into action. He knelt by her and touched her shoulder.
“Shh, Caroline, it’s over now.”
She finally let go of John and stood up. Adam lifted his sister into his arms, and Letty carried the lantern. They began to walk out of the dark tunnels and into the moonlight to find Avery and the others.
Epilogue
Three weeks later
Christmas at Chilgrave was everything Letty had hoped it would be. The castle was full of friends and family. Boughs of mistletoe had been hung freely around the castle by the footmen, much to Mr. Sturges’s disapproval, since not only Adam was taking advantage of the mistletoe, but the staff members were as well. Greenery covered every surface and twisted around every banister and pole. Everywhere Letty turned, there was light and laughter.
She couldn’t believe that three weeks had passed since the king and Parliament had been saved. It had been a small miracle that Avery and the League of Rogues had escaped harm other than a few bumps and bruises during the scuffles in the tunnels with Lord Wilhelm’s men. They’d all been fortunate beyond belief which meant this Christmas was even more important to celebrate.
Once the king had been made aware of what had happened that night, everyone involved had been brought to Carlton House for a private audiencewhere King George had expressed his eternal gratitude.
But not everyone had come through those dark events unscathed. Caroline had become more withdrawn than ever, and Avery, too, had grown distant. They, more than anyone else, had lost much in the last few months.
In the ballroom at Chilgrave, Angus bowed before Letty. “Milady? May I have this dance?” He offered her a courtly bow, and she accepted with a giggle. It was easy to forget what had happened with John when Angus and Baird were around to tease her.
The ballroom at Chilgrave was full of couples lining up to dance. The hired musicians struck up a lively tune. She danced in circles with Angus until Baird captured her for the next wild, twisting dance. The two Scotsmen had called for a jig, rather than yet another of the sedate numbers the musicians had been playing for the guests, and this now put them in the path of the other dancers.
“Oi! Watch out!” Lucien barked as Baird trod on his toes. His wife, Horatia, laughed and guided her husband safely out of harm’s way. By the time the dancing paused for a brief break, Letty’s feet had grown sore. She had not seen Adam for most of t
he night, and as the evening’s festivities wore down, she began to worry. Adam had been distant the last few weeks. He’d been quiet, withdrawn, eating little and saying less. She found him on the terrace, looking out over the gardens in the courtyard.
“Adam, are you all right?” She shivered from the winter chill as she stood next to him.
He didn’t immediately reply. He appeared to struggle to speak. “I can’t stop thinking about that night. All this time, John was alive . . . I became someone I didn’t want to be in order to avenge him, and then I became his enemy.”
“What happened wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known what he was up to.”
“But why didn’t I see it? Why didn’t I know?” Adam looked toward her, and then she tucked herself against him, hugging one arm around his waist. “And if I had known, maybe I could have steered him off his dark path. Maybe—”
“You couldn’t have made him do anything he didn’t wish to do,” Letty said calmly. “He chose his own path.”
Adam drew in a breath and let it out slowly. “I wish you could’ve known me. Before . . .”
“Before what?” she asked.
“Before I became what I am now. I am no better than John.”
She turned to face him. “You’re wrong—you are better. The things you do? You’ve always been motivated by helping others, not hurting them. The man I stood beside in the tunnels, offering his life to save mine, that’s the man I love. You are a good man.” She leaned up on her tiptoes and pulled his head down for a kiss. He slowly began to kiss her back, but she could feel the pain and guilt in his kiss.
“Adam,” she whispered against his mouth.
He curled his arms around her waist and touched his forehead to hers.“Yes?”
“You must pull yourself out of this darkness. Do you understand? Not just for me, but for him.”
“For who?” he asked in confusion.
She curled her fingers around one of his wrists and pulled his hand down to her abdomen. “For him.”
“For him . . .” His eyes widened. “You mean . . . ?”
She smiled up at her husband. “Yes, and I’ve been dreaming that it’s a boy.”
The music from inside could still be heard where they were, and Adam seized her in his arms and twirled her around right there on the snowy balcony.
“Boy or girl, it does not matter—it’s ours.” He laughed, and the lines of sorrow upon his face began to fade a little.
“Do you like your Christmas present?” she asked him.
He chuckled. “I adore it, and you. We ought to celebrate, immediately.”
Letty giggled as he swept her back to the ballroom, a protective arm about her shoulders. The guests were so enthralled with the festivities that none noticed Chilgrave’s lord and lady as they snuck upstairs.
Letty giggled again as her husband closed the door to their bedchamber and flipped the lock.
“What was that for?” she asked. “I have no intention of running away—unless you want to chase me.”
“Angus has a way of appearing where he shouldn’t at the worst times,” he explained. “Now, you said something about a chase?”
Letty gave him a good run about the room before he had her on her back on the bed. He leaned over and kissed her, taking his time to work his magic over her.
She gripped the edges of his shirt when he tried to pull away.“My lord, how you tease me.”
“Oh? You don’t wish me to . . .” He leaned in and whispered wicked suggestions in her ear.
“Oh, I quite insist you do that,” she said with a sigh of longing.
He laughed and shifted down her body, removing and loosening her clothes as he did so.“I thought you might.”
Letty parted her thighs and threw her head back as his mouth went to her mound. Adam tortured her until she was panting and begging for him to fill her. When he finally did as she asked, they clung to each other, their love and their excitement for the future pushing them toward the bright star of their release.
They made love sweetly, though it was no less thrilling than all the other times. Afterward, Letty settled against him, her head tucked into the cradle of his arms.
Adam brushed a hand up and down her back.“I don’t deserve you,” he said.
She rested her chin on his chest to look at him.“You’re wrong,”
“Am I?”
She nodded. “Quite wrong. You deserve me and all the good things yet to come.”
His eyes twinkled. “Is that so?”
“It is.”
“Very well. I won’t argue with you, lady wife.”
She scooted up a few inches and kissed him, soft and sweet and with all her heart. “That would be wise.”
Caroline watched the snow begin to fall from where she stood on the balcony of her room at Chilgrave which was directly above the ballroom. Music drifted up from below, but the warmth of the Christmas season failed to reach her.
For two years she had believed that John was gone. All that had been a lie. She removed the small bit of silver from her cloak pocket and held it up in the moonlight: a cuff link with an antique coin as its face. She had given the pairto John as a gift shortly before he died. She had found this cuff link on the floor next to Avery when she had found him wounded at that townhouse in Grosvenor Square.
Somehow then she had known the awful truth—that John wasn’t dead. But she hadn’t wanted to face it. She had meant to go after Avery in that tunnel, but something had made her turn back. She had seen him, heard his voice, and before she could think she was lifting her weapon. And when John had threatened her brother and Letty, she had done what she had to, at great cost.
Caroline closed her eyes and cast the cuff link deep into the garden. She was done with love, done with dreams of a future with children and a loving husband. John had shattered that illusion. Perhaps, in some perverse way, she should thank him for that.
“Lady Caroline?” Avery’s voice called out softly. He stood in the doorway leading back inside to her bedchamber.
“Mr. Russell,” she greeted. “Why aren’t you with the others?”
He stepped out onto the terrace with her. “I am leaving shortly. I wished to say goodbye.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, I am needed back in London. There is much to rebuild, and it won’t be easy.” He leaned on the stone railing, brushing a dusting of snow off the ledge. “I also have a lead regarding the woman who was seen with Lord Wilhelm and his rebels.”
“There was a woman with him?” A fresh pain stabbed Caroline’s chest. He’d said he’d held her in his heart all this time, yet he’d had another woman at his side.
“Yes, we believe she was both his mistress and a spy who worked as his left hand. She was the one who was tasked with hunting down Letty, and she led Wilhelm to my men.”
Caroline pulled her cloak tightly about her as she turned away from the balcony railing.
“Avery . . .” She spoke his name, steeling herself.
“Yes, my lady?” He searched her face.
“Don’t make John’s mistake, or Adam’s. Don’t chase vengeance forever. It will not bring you the peace you seek.”
He bowed his head without comment and left her alone. Caroline turned back to the snowy courtyard, wishing that she could feel something, anything aside from the numbness of her broken heart.
She was frozen—frozen forever.
* * *
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Turn the page to read the next Wicked Earls’ story The Earl of Brecken
The Earl of Brecken
January 1819
London, England
* * *
Madoc crumpled the paper and scowled fiercely at the roaring fire. He scanned the library
of Brooks’s, then squinted at the dark corners of the room, glad no one else witnessed his irritation. He and a close confidante were enjoying a leisurely evening in a private London gentlemen’s club. They’d traded a profitable evening of gaming for a quiet place to talk and enjoy a decanter of brandy, when he’d remembered the envelope tucked inside his coat pocket.
“Bad news, Doc?” asked Kit, his dark eyes teasing as he loosened the folds of his cravat with a finger. “It’s rare to see such a storm darken your face. I’m accustomed to the jovial yet bland expression you’ve perfected.”
He snorted with good humor at the Earl of Sunderland’s observation. “Ha! My invisible armor protects me well. To answer your question, news from home is rarely good these days.”
“Health or financial issues?”
Madoc tossed the wadded paper into the flames and watched the edges blacken and curl. “The solicitor informed me that he’s still waiting for my annual income. He sent word to my father, who replied it would arrive forthwith. I suppose I don’t need that stallion at Tattersall’s.”
“I could loan you the sum,” offered Sunderland with a grin, his midnight hair gleaming in the flickering light, “but you won more brass than I did at the tables.”
With a sigh, Madoc swirled the amber liquid in his crystal glass. “I couldn’t care less about the money. I’ve got blunt enough from my, er, other services. It troubles me, though, that the sum has shrunk each year I’ve been gone.”
“I can’t imagine trouble with the estate. It’s always turned out a good profit. How is the cantankerous old Welshman?”
“Mama’s last letter described Father’s health as declining. He’s rarely left the grounds since his fall, and now he won’t leave the castle.”
Madoc remembered the accident like it was yesterday. Foxhunting had been his father’s favorite pastime—until he took a steep hedge that broke his back. The Earl of Brecken hadn’t walked in ten years. “He’s so blasted proud, didn’t want anyone to see him as less than a man, as he put it.”