Meghan sat her down at the kitchen table and then refilled her coffee mug. “Listen to me. I heard you last night, and no you’re not the only one with nightmares. I don’t like to admit it but it’s nothing to be ashamed about. You went through hell and came out the other side. Do you know how amazing that is?”
“I didn’t do anything. I just sat there until Cam and the team saved me.”
“No, you survived. You. Survived. That was fucking hard, I know just how hard.”
Chrissy sat across from Miranda and nodded her head with a solemn expression on her face. “It’s true. I’ve been through this with Meghan too. Have you been to counseling?”
“No. I guess I didn’t want to have to explain it to anyone else.”
“Damn, you and Meghan could be twins. But luckily Rafe made her go. Tell her, Meggy. You know it helped.”
“Yes, I have to admit, it did help. If you want, I’ll call Dr. Marsh and see if she can fit you in while you’re here. She’s wonderful.”
“Maybe. I’ll think about it. I promise. If they guys don’t get back soon, then maybe.”
“Didn’t you check your phone yet? They’re on their way. Should be here in a few hours if my math is right.”
“Really?” Miranda couldn’t contain her excitement and trepidation. Their relationship was still so new, and she’d been making lots of decisions about her future, some of them based on a relationship with him. What if he didn’t want a long term relationship with her?
“Whatever you’re thinking, just stop,” Meghan said. “I hope you don’t play poker because everything you think shows up plain as day on your face.”
“Yeah, I know. I could never fool my parents.”
“What are you worried about?” Chrissy asked.
“Me. Cam. Us. I don’t know. We’ve had a half dozen dates, lots of phone calls and Skype calls, but I’m not the same girl he rescued or the one who was recovering the last time we were together. What if he doesn’t like this version of me?”
“Why wouldn’t he? You’re amazing?”
“No, I’m not. I’m just me, trying to find a way to help in this world.”
“And you can’t see yourself the way others do. You’re sweet, caring, and innocent of so much.”
“I’m not innocent. I may have been sheltered growing up…” Miranda ruffled at the words she’d heard most of her adult life.
“Maybe that was a poor choice, but you still believe in so much good. You’re not jaded by the reality of life like so many others. You’re a bright light in the darkness. I’m sure that’s what Cam sees.”
“Really? Because I don’t feel that way at all.”
Meghan hugged her again and looked into her eyes. “Don’t worry about Cam. He’s one of the good guys. If Halo loves him he has to be.”
“That’s true. Dogs are the best judge of character ever,” Chrissy said. “Maybe I need to get a dog.”
“You could have Ryan.” Miranda hadn’t meant to say that out loud. But when she’d come to the housewarming party for Meghan and Rafe, she’d seen the way the big SEAL had watched every move Chrissy had made. His eyes followed her everywhere.
“Didn’t we have this discussion last night? Were you two so drunk you don’t remember?”
“I remember, but I also know how he looks at you.”
Miranda nodded. “And when I was here for the one party, he watched you all night. He never took his eyes off of you.”
“You’re both crazy, or maybe just hungover and imagining this shit. He hasn’t said more than two words to me since I met him at the party.”
“Maybe he’s shy.” Miranda giggled as she said it. Shy? The big SEAL was the last person she’d call shy.
“He probably isn’t sure if you’re interested.”
“What am I supposed to do? Hang up a shingle? Sexy SEALs apply here?”
“Oh my God, I can’t believe you just said that,” Miranda snorted and almost spewed coffee across the table.
“See what I have to deal with? I hope you move here. We’ll be like the three musketeers.”
“That would be great. But first I have to get through the next trip and figure out what I can do for work.”
“I’m sure you’ll find something. You can always move in with me if you want,” Chrissy offered.
“Thank you. That’s so sweet of you. But I might be a horror to live with, you hardly know me.”
“I think we fixed most of that last night, Sunshine.”
“Where is this Sunshine coming from?”
“Oh, sorry. It’s what Cam calls you when he talks about you.”
“He calls me sunshine? And he talks about me?”
Meghan laughed. “Are you kidding? He doesn’t stop talking about you when he visits. Not so much around all the guys but definitely around Rafe. I think he feels like it’s something they have in common. Both having rescued their ‘girls’ from danger.”
“I hadn’t thought about that.”
“Yeah. Everything is ‘sunshine this and sunshine that’ until Rafe threatens to drown him in the ocean if he says your name one more time. He’s kidding of course. It’s so funny.”
“Wow. I had no idea. I was worried I was more a fling really. That if I was here all the time he’d feel pressured.”
“I can’t speak for him, but I bet if you tell him what you’re thinking he’ll be thrilled.”
“I’m so surprised.”
“I told you that you were amazing,” Chrissy said as she poured another cup of coffee.
“You guys weren’t kidding when you said you drank a lot of coffee,” Miranda commented as she watched Chrissy set up another pot to brew.
“Nope. We’re hardcore.” Meghan giggled. “Maybe we should come up with a team name and get tattoos. We can be the Coffee Crew or something?”
“I’m up for it. I might have to be drunk first though.”
“You’re not allowed to be drunk when you get one.”
“Says who?”
“The rules.”
“And when have I followed them, or you for that matter. Hell, Beyotch, you went to Afghanistan to rescue your brother from the Taliban on your own. If that’s not breaking the rules then I don’t know what is.”
Miranda had to agree with Chrissy’s assessment, but she wasn’t too thrilled with the idea of a tattoo. Maybe the idea would grow on her like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. She was coming into her real self.
“I’m going to grab my phone to see if Cam sent me a text. When I get back I’m going to make us something to eat before we float away on the coffee express.” Their laughter followed her down the hallway to her room.
There were several messages on her phone and not just from Cam. Her mother had called five times, texted three times, and sent email. She loved her, but dang it, she needed to start letting go. She’d always been over-protective but now it was crazy, and she felt stifled. It’s the main reason she’d been trying to figure out what she wanted.
Choosing to read Cam’s text messages first, she clicked on the first one.
Cam: We are almost back to the states. Can’t wait to see you.
Reading his words helped ease the worry that had been causing her stomach to do flip-flops. Not that she hadn’t believed Meghan, but she couldn’t help herself. She’d never felt about anyone the way she did with Cam.
Cam: We landed. Have to get clear then heading to Meghan’s.
Miranda: Can’t wait to see you.
SEAL's Sunshine - Lynne St Jame Page 5