A Life of Her Own

by Fiona McCallum

  She gingerly stepped out into the reception area and took a look around before making her way over to the desk. She didn’t recognise the young man sitting behind the expanse of marble.

  ‘Hi, um, I’m Alice Hamilton. I understand payroll has left a form here I need to sign.’

  ‘Yep. It’s right here,’ he said, swivelling around to retrieve a clipboard from a shelf behind him and placing it on the counter top.

  ‘Thanks,’ Alice said, and tried to detach the pen, but it was somehow caught under the clip. As she tried to work it free, she heard voices to her right – muffled at first and then becoming clearer. Some of them were familiar, and she turned around. There was the guy she’d seen with Carmel in the café. He was shaking hands with Paul, Mary and Rose. Alice was shocked to hear the same people say exactly the same words that they had said to her after her own interview. She found herself staring, unable to drag her gaze away. Paul caught her eye and nodded and smiled. Or was it more of a wince? She nodded back, struggling to raise a genuine smile. Their looks could easily be the bland, friendly expressions they’d offer to anyone – to people who might be unimportant, or might turn out to be somebody worth smiling at, somebody worth keeping on-side. Did Paul even remember who she was? He’d seemed such a reasonable man when they’d met, but he’d handled her situation so badly. They all had, really, but Paul especially, given he was the CEO and clearly the leader of the group, she thought as the trio disappeared through the glass doors. She watched the young man – whose name she hadn’t caught – make his way to the lift, and she bit her lip.

  ‘Sorry, I’ve just realised I’ve forgotten to feed the meter. I’ll be back in a minute,’ Alice said to the receptionist, seeming to startle him slightly.

  ‘Er, okay.’

  She raced towards the lift just as the doors were closing on the young man.

  ‘Excuse me, can you please hold the lift?’ she called. She cringed and held her breath as she thrust her arm into the gap between the doors. ‘Thanks,’ she said. ‘God, I hate doing that, you never quite know if you’re going to get your arm crushed or the door will actually stay open,’ she added with a laugh.

  ‘Yes, it’s a scary thing to do,’ the guy said. ‘Ground floor?’

  ‘Yes, please. I’m Alice,’ she said, holding her hand out to the now slightly startled looking man.

  ‘Er, hello. Rhys,’ he said, as he tentatively accepted her hand for a brief shake. Speaking to strangers in a lift was frowned upon; introducing oneself was a definite no-no. The way he looked at her Alice could tell he thought her a little deranged and he was being polite so as not to offend her or incite a nasty incident.

  ‘I’m sorry to barge in on you and I know it’s none of my business,’ she rushed on, fully aware of their limited time together and the possibility that they could be interrupted at any moment by someone stepping into the lift at another floor. ‘I saw you meeting with Carmel Gold in the café earlier.’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘I know it’s not my place, but I need to tell you because no one told me and it became a real mess and …’ Alice cursed her blundering. They were at the tenth floor already. ‘I was Carmel’s last PA. She was a monster. Possibly a narcissist and a psychopath – I’m no expert. It might be different for you. I don’t know. I hope it is. But I just wanted you to be aware. And there’ll be no point going to management if you have a problem with her. Carmel’s a partner with her name on the wall and she brings in too much money. Paul and Rose and Mary were really nice as people, but not at all helpful.’

  ‘What did she do?’

  ‘Made me run around doing errands for her instead of the work I was meant to be doing – so I got into trouble with others in the company. And you can’t win – she said she wants you to take the initiative, but when you do she loses it at you. It makes you second-guess yourself and feel as if no matter what you do, you’ll never win her approval. I know it sounds ridiculous and petty and you have every right to think I’m just after revenge or simply some random nutcase bailing you up in a lift. I’m not. Well, I kind of am. I wasn’t before I worked in this place. I lasted four weeks and almost lost my mind. I wasn’t always this anxious and scatty, either. I promise. I was damned good at my job until she completely messed with my head. And now I don’t have a reference to get another job. I know I’m not making any sense, and I’m babbling like a freak, but as I said, I just felt the need to warn you. Google “narcissist”, “bullies in the workplace” and “gaslighting” and you’ll have a pretty clear idea of what she did to me. Oh, and I wasn’t her first PA to leave – I think I was number seven in two years, or something.’

  ‘Oh. Wow. Right.’

  The light above them was on the G. The lift doors opened and they stepped out.

  ‘I really hope it’s different for you, Rhys,’ Alice said.

  ‘Thanks, Alice, it was, um, nice to meet you. I have to admit, I did have a weird sense that she was a little off – sort of too good to be true.’

  ‘Well, go with that. Believe me, it’s not just the shiny façade of the seasoned sales person.’

  ‘That’s exactly what I told myself it was. It was a great job offer. They agreed to what I asked for without batting an eyelid.’

  ‘Yep. Me too. I was so excited. I thought I’d found my dream job. I’d better go. Oh, shit, I’ve got to go back up. I have to sign my exit papers. Well, I’ll leave it with you. Maybe she just didn’t like me – a personality clash, or something,’ Alice said with a shrug, as she pushed the button to call a lift.

  ‘Well, thanks very much for the heads-up. You’ve given me a lot to think about.’ He started to walk away.

  A lift arrived and Alice stepped in.

  ‘Um, Alice?’ Rhys called. He was hurrying back towards her.

  She put her hand against the edge of one of the doors to keep them from closing. ‘Yes?’

  ‘Could I get your number, um, in case I need to compare notes? If I take the job – I really need to, it was hard enough to get the interview.’

  ‘Er, well, um, I …’ Alice stammered.

  ‘Seriously, I’m not creepy or anything. I promise.’

  Alice felt it would be rude to say no. After all, she’d bailed him up in the lift. And, anyway, if he called or texted she could always ignore him if she wanted to. It wasn’t as if he had her full name or knew where she lived.

  ‘Okay, sure.’ He handed over his phone. She could hear a little voice in her head telling her to just change a digit around. But Alice was sick of telling lies. And Rhys seemed all right. He hadn’t told her to bugger off and mind her own business, or called security. And she felt really good that she’d said her piece. It was entirely up to him what he did with the information now.

  ‘Thanks,’ he said when she handed the phone back. ‘I’ll just send you a text so you have my number too,’ he said, tapping on his phone. Alice’s phone pinged. She glanced at it and smiled at his message: Hi Alice, It’s Rhys, the guy from the lift.

  ‘Got it. Okay. I’d better go,’ she said.

  ‘Well, thanks again, Alice. I appreciate the warning. I’ll let you know what I decide to do. Probably go back on the job hunt.’

  ‘Yeah, me too. Sorry to burst your bubble.’

  ‘Better that now than losing my mind later,’ he said. ‘Take care of yourself, Alice.’

  ‘You too, Rhys. All the best.’ She let go of the door and it began to close. Rhys was still standing there watching her.

  As the lift rose, Alice took stock of how she felt. Good. Really good. This was her. Being helpful was what gave her the biggest buzz of all. She was smiling and couldn’t wipe it off her face. Her anxiety was all but gone.

  She stepped back up to the reception desk, the smile still planted on her face. ‘Sorry about that,’ she said.

  ‘No worries, the parking inspectors around here are pretty ruthless. Here’s your form.’

  This time Alice had no trouble sliding the pen out from under the clip. S
he quickly scanned the document. Yes, it was just a confirmation of the termination of her employment – and she signed it.

  ‘Thanks very much,’ she said, handing the board and pen back. As she turned away she took a look around. She was calm. She let out her breath.

  ‘See you later, Alice,’ the receptionist called.

  ‘Bye,’ she said. No, you will certainly not see me later – well not here, anyway. I’m done.

  Alice watched the numbers of the floors ticking off as she headed down again. She was smiling. At almost every floor the lift stopped and people stepped in and out. She didn’t mind. There was no urgency, no frantically beating heart urging her forward with nervous energy. She smiled a little at each person who entered and shuffled aside to make room.

  By the time they got to the first floor the lift had become more crowded than was comfortable, and Alice was squashed into a back corner. Thank goodness she was calm now, otherwise she might have lost the plot over this invasion of her personal space.

  On the ground floor she waited patiently for the passengers standing at the front to go first.

  And then, just as Alice walked out, she saw Carmel Gold rushing across the foyer – racing, clack, clack, clack on her high heels – to catch the lift before the doors closed. Alice concentrated on keeping the slight smile on her face and giving the appearance of being nonchalant, which she almost was, and avoided looking directly at Carmel. Her pulse quickened slightly, but there was no significant flight sensation coursing through her. Phew. Alice kept walking. She could see Rhys in a corner of the foyer talking on his phone and looking her way. Alice waved to him. He smiled back and mimed that he’d call her – well, that’s what she assumed he meant. She responded with a single thumbs-up gesture.

  ‘Hi, Carmel,’ Alice called brightly as they passed. As she strode towards the sliding glass doors at the front of the building, Alice hoicked her shoulders up a notch.

  ‘There you are!’ Lauren said, hurrying up to Alice, who turned towards her friend’s voice.

  ‘What are you doing here?’

  ‘You were gone for ages. I was worried you’d had a panic attack and you were hiding, crumpled on the floor of the loo upstairs or something,’ Lauren said.

  ‘Sorry. I’m fine. It just took longer than I thought. Boy, do I have a story to tell you. And I just saw Carmel, literally could have bumped into her.’

  ‘Yes, I saw. You should have seen the look on her face. Shock mixed with, I don’t know, it looked like fear to me, but I don’t imagine she’d ever be afraid of anything, let alone show it.’

  ‘I didn’t notice, I was too busy shooting her a winning smile and keeping my voice steady while I said hi.’

  ‘Good for you.’

  ‘Have we lost our table?’

  ‘No. I left my credit card with our lovely waiter and assured him we’d definitely be back for dessert. Thank god you’re okay. Was that the guy from the café you were waving to?’

  ‘Yep. That’s Rhys. We met in the lift.’

  ‘Oh. Right.’

  ‘I told him the truth about Carmel – well, my experience. And, Lauren, it feels so good to have warned him. I’m not sure what he’ll do with the information, but that doesn’t matter.’

  ‘Wow, that was brave.’

  ‘God, I feel great!’

  ‘I can tell.’

  ‘Sorry, I’m being a little OTT. But it’s like I’ve shed a massive layer of pain, or something. I feel free – completely free of Carmel and bloody Gold, Taylor and Murphy and the hold they had over me.’

  ‘Alice, you’re practically skipping.’

  ‘I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life, but hey, one step at a time, right?’

  ‘Yep. Now you’ve got all that negativity out of the way, you’ll give your dreams a chance to find you.’

  ‘Ladies, you came back!’ their waiter said as they walked through the busy café to the table and he handed them the menus again.

  ‘Thanks so much for holding the table,’ Alice said. ‘We really appreciate it.’

  ‘Ah,’ he said, waving a hand.

  ‘Don’t go,’ Lauren said, ‘we won’t be a moment. Right, Alice?’

  Alice nodded. ‘Yep. Two secs. You go first, Lauren.’

  ‘Okay. I’ll have the passionfruit cheesecake and a cappuccino, thank you,’ she said, handing her menu back.

  ‘And I’ll have the tiramisu and a peppermint tea, please.’

  ‘Ooh, you’re a lot more cheerful than when you left,’ the waiter said. ‘I hope you don’t mind me saying, but it suits you. You’re glowing!’

  ‘Thank you.’ Alice blushed. ‘I feel like I just turned my life around with one short conversation.’

  ‘Good for you. That’s what we like to hear. I’d say dessert is a great reward. I’ll be back soon.’

  ‘Look at you, blushing like a teenager after that compliment,’ Lauren teased gently.

  ‘Don’t be silly. He’s probably gay. I still can’t believe it. I did it, Lauren. I faced Carmel.’

  ‘You did. Well done. Be proud of yourself.’

  Alice took a few deep breaths. ‘My heart’s racing a bit, but I’ll get over that.’

  ‘Here we are, dessert for two lovely ladies,’ their waiter said, placing their plates down. ‘Coffee and peppermint tea are on the way.’

  ‘Thanks,’ they both said, flashing him smiles worthy of a toothpaste commercial.

  ‘Right, so tell me what you said to Rhys about Carmel?’ Lauren said, digging her fork into her cheesecake.

  ‘Pretty much everything. I didn’t hold back.’

  ‘I hope you haven’t left yourself open to a lawsuit. If Rhys tells Carmel what you said, she might …’

  ‘Oh, I didn’t think of that.’

  ‘You could get into serious trouble, Alice, depending on what you said and if she finds out.’

  ‘The way I’m feeling right now, I don’t care. I’d say, do your worst, bitch, bring it on.’

  ‘Well, okay, then. Good for you. I think,’ Lauren said.

  ‘I don’t think Rhys would say anything. But if he does, that’s up to him. I spoke the truth. He seemed really grateful. That’s what I’m going to focus on. No negativity. If there’s some fallout, I’ll deal with it then.’

  ‘Fair enough.’

  ‘Hey,’ Lauren said, when they’d been making their way through their desserts for a few minutes, ‘are you still keen to come along to the auction with me for my dad?’

  ‘Yep. No problem at all. David will be out of town, yet again, anyway.’

  ‘How are things there?’

  ‘Okay. Tense. Awkward.’

  ‘Hmm. It’s hard to make a relationship work if one person stays the same and the other has a fundamental shift in perspective,’ Lauren said.

  ‘Yeah. I don’t see how we can get back to where we were, or if I even want to. I feel like I’ve changed too much, learnt too much, maybe. But, I’ve said I’ll stay, so that’s where we’re at for now. It is what it is.’

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  Alice found the café where Rhys had suggested they meet and went inside, wondering if she’d recognise him again. But he’d clearly recognised her, because there he was, waving to her. She smiled and made her way over to the table under the window. He leapt up and they shook hands.

  ‘Thanks so much for coming,’ he said, ‘I really appreciate it.’

  ‘No problem. Thanks for inviting me. I was glad to get out and away from the depressing job websites.’ She was completely taken by surprise when she found herself being pulled into a hug, and stumbled a little, ‘Oh.’

  ‘Sorry, but I needed to do that. I’m so grateful to you,’ he said, releasing her seconds later. They sat down and reached for the small wooden clipboard menus in front of them.

  Soon a waitress appeared and deposited a bottle of water and two glasses in front of them.

  ‘Thank you,’ Alice said, smiling up at her.

  ‘I�
�ll be back in a bit to take your order,’ the waitress said, and left.

  ‘I hope this isn’t too weird for you – I mean, meeting a strange man for lunch,’ Rhys said.

  ‘Not at all.’ Alice had told David about her encounter with Rhys and his invitation to lunch. She figured it might be important for Rhys to get something off his chest. David had been busy on his laptop and had only mumbled, ‘That’s nice.’

  For not the first time recently, Alice had wondered if he’d always been so distant and self-absorbed. Though, she couldn’t talk, she’d stopped showing more than a passing interest in his work ages ago. Was the current project a rollout of a new IT system through Australia and New Zealand for one of the major banks, or was that the one before? God, was she like him too, had they become the same since living together? She’d initially found David’s drive to get on in his career and his passion and focus for every project attractive. Now she was feeling so different about it all, about him. As much as she wanted to blame the project, she suspected this might actually be another part of his character she’d somehow managed to ignore or overlook. Or perhaps there’d always been a project that had taken precedence over her, and over them. Where would any kids come in the pecking order? Would he change his priorities when they had children? As she’d watched him packing his bags to go away again, Alice had been a little shocked at how much she was looking forward to having the house to herself again.

  ‘So, no joy on the job front, then?’ Rhys said.

  ‘No. It’s proving impossible without a reference from my last direct report.’

  ‘Oh, shit. Yeah, of course.’

  ‘Anyway, until the other day I really wasn’t sure I could face going back to office work.’

  ‘Fair enough. So what changed?’

  ‘Meeting you, actually. Warning you. Saying it all out loud to a stranger somehow took the fear away. So, I should be the one taking you to lunch to say thank you,’ she said, smiling.