I took a good look at him. There were dark half moons under each of his eyes. He looked like hell, poor guy. I felt my resolve melting. I’d missed him so much.
“Actually I know I acted kind of crazy, making you choose between me and the DeVrys. I’m sorry I pointed the finger that night at your apartment, and got angry at you for setting things straight.”
We were staring into each other’s eyes when my phone started vibrating, startling me. I reached toward the floor for my purse, and grabbed my cell. There was a text, alerting me to a voice mail at work. Recognizing the number as Colin’s, I groaned inwardly. It was time to put an end to his calls forever.
I showed Jim the screen. “This is my ex-fiancé. I blocked him on my cell. But he calls work every so often, even though I’ve made clear it’s over between us. So if you don’t mind.” Jim shrugged his shoulders as I dialed. Colin picked up immediately. “Look, I’m calling as a courtesy—and this is the last time, so please listen: We are not getting back together.” I smiled at Jim. “I’ve met someone.”
There was silence on the other end of the call until Colin finally spoke. “Really? Who is it?”
“No one you know. Please do not call me again.”
As we hung up, I breathed a sigh of relief. Colin had finally gotten the message, and I’d delivered it in front of Jim.
He was reaching for my hand. “I’m glad you called him while I was in the room.” Jim said as we locked eyes. With the trust stuff behind us, we were free and clear to start fresh.
He went back to scouring the phone screen and, I assumed, thinking about Lee. I felt like announcing, “one down, one to go,” but bit my lip. After a few moments, he shook his head. “Seeing this display, well, you were right. Lee’s a huge troublemaker who obviously had it out for you. And she definitely baited you at her house that night. I see it all clearly now. I’m sorry, Vic. I should’ve known better.”
I was flooded with relief. Lee hadn’t won after all.
Jim pulled me toward him and I didn’t resist. We sat together, intertwined, and I let myself enjoy the feel of his arms, the warmth of his body. “I missed you, Vic.”
I was glad to be in Jim’s arms, grateful Lee hadn’t managed to keep us apart.
“It amazes me,” I said. “She’s made a full-time job of torturing my daughter and . . . which reminds me, since you and I have been getting everything out in the open, you said once that you grew up in town, but wouldn’t elaborate at all.”
Jim looked beyond me, like he was thinking about something painful. “Who wants to return to the town where they grew up: small town, insular and gossipy, some snobbiness and climbing? There were some nice people, but overall, it was an oppressive environment. I had no desire to revisit the place.” Jim paused and gave me a meaningful look. “But you lived there.”
He continued to gaze at me steadily. My heart swelled up and pulsed like one of those old cartoons where it beats outside of the chest and goes back inside. He’d just implied he was willing to spend time in the area he wasn’t fond of, just to be with me.
Viewing everything through Jim’s eyes, the hurt and struggles finally unmasked, seeing his gaze, which was so intense and pleading, it was obvious he really cared. My heart did a flip. I’d see things through. I owed it to myself. Jim’s look of affection made every awful thing that happened in the past seven months, even my schoolyard nemesis, almost worth it.
Twenty-Three
Him
The entire time Jim and I were talking, a small part of me had difficulty suspending disbelief. After so many empty weeks and all the pain, could it be true that he still wanted me? The more we talked, the more my hopes soared. I stared at his face—those eyes and that jaw!—and had trouble looking away from his lips, which were familiar, yet off limits. Would we ever kiss again?
Jim pulled me close. “Can we keep seeing each other?” I let my eyes do the talking as he leaned in, his mouth approaching mine.
Our reunion kiss lasted for two hours.
We sat, my head on his shoulder, me feeling like I’d never let go.
“Please believe me. I want to make things right between us. And I understand you have to do what you think is right when it comes to Rachel. I felt terrible that your fears about introducing us were borne out when I asked for a break. Was she upset?”
“She thought you were ‘nice,’ but kept most of her reactions to herself. That’s the family way.”
He laughed. “I’m really relieved you’re willing to give me another chance.”
I faced him, placing a hand on each shoulder and tilting my head. “Yes, but first you have to alter your Facebook settings and make it a closed account. While you’re at it, you might want to change your password too.”
“What do you suggest?” he asked, “How ‘bout a random series of letters and numbers?”
I shook my head. “How ‘bout ‘Lee666?’”
“I’ve really missed you,” Jim said, pulling me close. “And your sense of humor.”
I told him about BucketBeast and the upcoming workshop on cyberbullying. Since there had been a similar incident at Guardian, he offered to share articles and resources, volunteering to speak to Rachel if I thought it would help, and made me promise to call if any further threats arose.
We kissed good night at the front door, and he asked to see me again the next day. After he’d gone, I turned off all the lights and tiptoed upstairs and into Rachel’s room, laying down with her and burrowing in. Her breathing was so soothing. I soon dozed off.
A couple of hours later, Rachel shook me. “Why are you in my bed?”
I said I’d dozed off mid-hug, and she pulled the blanket over me and told me she didn’t mind if I stayed. Then, we fell into an exhausted sleep. It was the happiest I’d been in months.
We were having breakfast when the text came through. “There’s a casual thing at my club tonight. Can you make it?”
I responded with a photo from the internet: a tow-headed toddler with thick sports glasses clapping and hooting after he’d opened a large gift box and a yellow puppy emerged and started licking his face.
“Am I the puppy or the kid with the bowl haircut?”
“Either/or! I was going for the exuberant vibe.”
He texted a red dot that grew into a line and began to sketch a heart. The image continued beating after the drawing was completed.
“Save?” the phone asked. You bet. I hit “enter.”
I raced home after work and put on a black pantsuit with no shirt, just a low cut camisole. My only accessory was a spritz of perfume. Once we were seated at the table and I removed my coat, Jim’s eyes got wide. “You look gorgeous. How . . . .?”
“I didn’t wear this combo to work.”
He nodded. “Different slacks?”
“Exactly.”
As he played with my fingers, I spotted Lee and Jack across the room. They’d stood up and were coming toward us. My shoulders stiffened. Jim rose to shake Jack’s hand and kiss Lee hello. She was getting ready to pounce.
“Victoria. Isn’t this cozy?”
I stole a glance at her husband. Did he notice his wife was acting like a jealous girlfriend? Apparently not; he was staring at my “camisole.” I felt a blush creep slowly over my cheeks as Jack reluctantly raised his eyes to meet mine. “Nice to see you,” he said, bending down to kiss my cheek.
Note to self: no cleavage at the country club. “Looking forward to your workshop, Lee,” I managed.
“Ah heard you wrangled a speaking engagement.” Her tone was so sharp, Jim blinked. “Exactly what qualifies you as an expert in the area of cyberbullying?”
Jack put an arm around his wife and pulled her in the direction of their table. “Baii,” she called over her shoulder.
I kept it light for the rest of the dinner.
We were driving down the road that led from the club entrance to the street. “Can you stay over?” I asked. “Rachel is at a friend’s.”
“
How could I possibly refuse?”
I decided not to bring Lee up, but he did.
“So, I noticed that Lee definitely baits you,” he said, glancing over at me after stopping at a red light. I sighed and shrugged as he added, “Jack thinks she’s high-spirited.”
“Do you think she’s interested in you?” The words slipped out, but the question had been weighing on me.
“What? No!” Jim shook his head. “Even after seeing the photos she posted, I still think she and Jack are happy.”
I used the gentle-sounding voice I reserved for delivering bad news to patients. “I’m sure they are. But she seemed peeved to see me with you tonight, and she calls and texts you a lot.” I felt like shaking him and screaming, “The bitch tried to break us up!” Jim held my hand, but remained deep in thought for the rest of the ride.
When we got to my house, we sat down on the living room sofa. He had that preoccupied look that had made me worry so many times before. Uh-oh. What if he thought I was accusing him of flirting when I asked if he thought Lee was interested?
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have mentioned anything. Lee’s fine. I’m not invested in figuring her out, or engaging with her in any way. I know the DeVrys are your friends.”
Jim’s back was still to me as he stood by the fireplace.
“Have I upset you?”
He turned around. “No,” he said, with another tug of the earlobe. “I’m not sure if I should say this.”
I went over to the fireplace and threw my arms around his waist. “Let’s not worry about her. I’m just thrilled to be in the same room with you two days in a row.”
I tried to pull Jim back to the sofa, get him to sit back down, but he continued pacing in front of the fireplace. His pants were hanging off; during our hiatus he hadn’t been eating right.
“This past month or so has been hell,” he said. “I’m not letting anything get in the way this time. I’m just going to say it.” He took a deep breath. “What my friends think is not important at all, Victoria. I’m in love with you.”
Jim loved me!
I imagined us running off to a seedy chapel in Vegas, grabbing our happily-ever-after. Then I slowed it down. Rachel would hate Vegas, and if we did get married, I wanted everyone I loved to be there.
We sat on the sofa, my head on Jim’s shoulder. He’d used the shaving cream and soap I loved.
“Are you smelling me?”
“Maybe.” We laughed.
“I don’t want to go,” he said. “It’s so good to be with you.”
He kissed me and I felt the familiar tingle.
“I missed you too,” I traced his cheek with my finger.
He moved his hands down the sides of my body, caressing me at the waist, and then pulled me on top of him. “We fit together perfectly,” he said.
I suddenly felt shy, and hid my face.
“What is it?” Jim cupped my chin and raised my face to look up at his.
“A lot of emotions. I don’t know.” Yes, I do. I’m crazy about you, but I’m not saying a word, not yet.
I felt safe for the first time in so long, being in Jim’s arms.
Jim looked closely at me. My stomach lurched. What else could possibly come to light? I prepared for some horrible revelation. “You’d have no way of knowing this,” he told me. “But there was an incident at Guardian. The DeVrys’ older daughter, Mariel, was struggling. A psychologist evaluated her and wrote a report recommending she be counseled out. Lee and Jack fought it like crazy, and worked out a deal where their daughter would supplement with tutors, consultants, whatever was needed.” He seemed to weigh his next words. “You know how hard it is for parents who stress achievement. They can’t handle watching their kids get bad grades or switch schools.”
The fact that Jim was actually able to empathize even after the DeVrys had made a stink told me he was even nicer than I’d thought—if that were possible. “You are very kind to your students and the school families.” I made a heart shape with my hands and held it over my chest.
He leaned over and nuzzled my cheek. “It was a mess. We were patient with them. After the deal was reached, Lee strutted around telling everyone what a quack the psychologist was. Since then, she’s talked to anyone who’ll listen about how she hates psychologists.” Jim paused and gave me a sympathetic look. “You never even stood a chance.”
So Lee had been primed to hate and mistrust me. That made sense. I was grateful to Jim for filling in the blanks.
“She definitely twisted my attempt to help a bullied kid in the hallway. She experienced it as an insult to her daughter.”
Jim nodded. “There’s more. She did get into some kind of trouble years ago at another school. I asked another friend of mine. I get that there’s tension between the two of you, and you’ve had to protect your child. In retrospect, I don’t think you were overly suspicious.”
I was thrilled he no longer thought I was “fixated.” “As you know, it’s been very difficult since we moved here. This town, Mayfair, can be a rough place, and it trickles down to the school. I see why you didn’t love growing up here.” I stroked his cheek.
“It was a tiny village,” he agreed. “Everyone was in each other’s business. If you drank a beer in the parking lot behind the A&P, seven mothers called your house before you’d finished the can,” Jim rolled his eyes. “It was insular, oppressive. I was glad to get away.”
“It’s still that way,” I said. “Only now the mothers have branched out to running every aspect of their children’s lives. They get involved in the classroom stuff, coach some of the teams, do the fundraising for the school, organize all the parties, drive every carpool, and choose their children’s friends.”
“There’s some of that at Guardian too. Is it really that bad here?” Jim asked.
“It’s worse. These women make drug lords look like kindergarten teachers. I don’t really mind it for myself. It’s Rachel I’m worried about. And I recently learned that most of the moms have actually steered their daughters away from her.”
“What? Come on.” Jim’s expression was incredulous.
“It’s been terrible. A few people thought I was something I’m not because of my aunt’s house.” I swept my arm toward the cavernous living room.
He nodded. “We used to drive by growing up.” He grinned for the first time in a while. “I might have thrown eggs on the porch one Halloween.”
“That was you?”
We laughed.
“Please finish what you were saying.”
I had nothing to lose. He’d just said he loved me, and I wanted to tell him everything. “Well,” I sucked in my breath, gathering courage. “Lee came over here and saw that the pipes were leaky and the wiring was ancient. She didn’t like that I asked her daughter and a couple of others to leave another kid alone. So she told everyone not to let their daughters come over to play, and since then, Rachel has been excluded. I overheard Lee laughing about it in one of the back hallways at school.” I couldn’t believe that Rachel’s struggles still stung, but they did.
A few tears started to fall. I looked down, ashamed, and brushed them away quickly
“I knew you were friends with them. And when you said you wanted to trust me, but I was too ‘fixated,’ and pulled away, I thought the line in the sand had been crossed and you’d sided with them; after how long you knew them, I could never compete.”
Jim was thoughtful. “I had no idea that any of that happened. It’s terrible.” He hugged me tightly. “You thought I’d chose my friends over you?”
I looked down, but he slowly raised my chin until our eyes met. “I choose you, hands down.”
We kissed again until Jim pulled away, his face an inch from mine. “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. So when you and Rachel moved to town and she started at Barnum, Lee came after you?”
“Pretty much. It’s been very hard on Rachel, which was no picnic for me. I was helpless. Lee had all the power. I know I sounded crazy
after the dinner party, but she doesn’t like me, that I know. And the worst of it all is that someone planted a Juul on Rachel, and I’m almost certain it was Lee. I’m glad you heard there was an incident at that other school because I don’t want you to think I’m ‘fixating.’”
Jim’s eyes were wide. “A Juul? Poor Rachel. What happened?”
“The principal let her go. She had no idea what the thing was.”
Jim nodded. “I know I said you were being ‘suspicious,’ but given Lee’s past, that incident, it does cast things in a different light. The Juul thing is really troubling.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “That’s pretty much it. As far as Rachel, that’s a whole other story. I’ve been coaching her on how to deal with bullies.”
“Only in this case, the bullies are the mothers.” Jim said.
It was after three o’clock in the morning. We had talked for so long, I’d almost lost my voice. I was floating, feeling closer to him than anyone on the planet—except maybe my daughter—but it was way past my personal witching hour. I had to send him on his way.
He rose to leave, and I walked him to the door. Once we were in the foyer, he turned the knob with one hand and fastened his remaining fingers around mine. He kissed me again, a long, slow caress. When we finally managed to pull away, his mouth twitched a little at the corners. I knew that look. Something playful was coming.
“I’d love to see you again, but your plumbing is old, so I can’t hang around with you anymore.”
I loved Jim’s sense of humor. Standing on my tiptoes and raising my face until I was kissing his lips, noticing how familiar they felt, I whispered a response, “I’m glad you have priorities.” Then I closed the door.
Jim turned around as I peeked through the little window in the side of the hallway, and I blew him a kiss.
Moments later I was hopping into bed, hoping the recent reunion with Jim was a sign that Rachel and my fortunes had shifted. I drifted off, thinking of nothing but him as the memory of his kisses lulled me to sleep.
Barbarians at the PTA Page 23