“You’ve been burning the candle at both ends, as my mama would say.” Charly put her cup in the dishwasher and closed the door. “More margin.”
“Yeah, and my mom says I can sleep when I’m dead. Go figure. Think your mom would adopt me?”
“In a heartbeat, but you know you’d miss your parents.”
“I would, and I know I need to get out more. Non-work-related, that is. What about you?”
“I’m helping Emmaline with a wedding this afternoon, so I’ll meet her at Atalaya around ten this morning to set up.”
“Speaking of margins . . .”
“I know, but with Lucy out of commission, I thought I’d pitch in. For me, it’s temporary.” She stopped and looked at Lydia pointedly. “Speaking of which, I know a guy . . .”
Lydia glared at Charly. “You’re kidding me. You, fixing me up on a blind date?”
“Turnabout’s fair play. Not a blind date at all. He is a sighted individual.”
“Ha ha, Ms. Special Ed Teacher.” She took another drink and put down her cup. “Who is this person who can’t get his own date?”
“I’m sure he could. His name is Jake, and I have class with him. He’s my carpool ride.”
“You mean Jake-giraffe-like-Jake? What is he, six foot four?”
Charly coughed. “Um, actually, he’s six foot seven. What does that have to do with anything?”
Lydia sighed. “Probably nothing. Apparently working the barista shift at the hospital hasn’t snagged me a young doctor, unlike some people.” She gave her friend a dirty look. “But I’m not bitter.”
“Of course you aren’t.” Charly gave her a cheesy grin. “Maybe we could double?”
“No movie dates. You can’t get to know a person at a movie.”
“Right.”
“You realize he is a full foot and a half taller than me?” Her sigh could have taken down a wall. “Set it up. I’m not getting anywhere like this.”
“You haven’t looked in the mirror yet, have you?”
“Actually, yes I have, and I wanted to see your reaction. So there.”
“You are incorrigible.”
“I know, and that’s why you love me.” Cheesy grin returned.
When Rance opened his email the next morning, the first thing he noticed was a message from one of the recruiters who had his résumé. He hadn’t put specific places on his list of desired locations, but he decided to limit it to the South if at all possible.
This one sounded interesting. Nashville, Tennessee. Nashville had a lot going for it. Lots of restaurants, music, night life. Anything you’d want was there, and it would be far enough away from his parents, all of them, to feel like he had a life of his own.
He hit the “reply” button and started typing an upbeat response, welcoming an opportunity to talk with them. Then he stopped. Charly. Charlotte Anne Livingston. What about her?
Was he in love with her? Too soon to tell. She had no hold on him. At this point, no one did. Before, he would have taken his mother’s feelings into consideration when planning where to live and work, but these days? The anger still flared up when he thought about all the years she could have told him about his father and brother.
All those years wasted because she was afraid of a mean old man.
Occasionally a bit from the song, “Amazing Grace,” came to him, and he shoved it aside. He wasn’t ready to extend grace, and until he was, he didn’t want to seek it for himself.
Charly believed in that grace. How could he live up to such a lofty ideal? That was just it. He couldn’t.
Maybe it would be better to break it off before they got in too deep. When he kissed her the other night, it was unexpected. Oh, he had played out all kinds of scenarios in which he ended up kissing her. He hadn’t expected it to be as sweet as it was.
But sweet didn’t get you a plum position at Vanderbilt Hospital.
The Dave Matthews concert at the North Charleston Coliseum lived up to the hype. A sold-out crowd of thirteen thousand people couldn’t be wrong.
Rance said all the right things and laughed at all the right places, but Charly could tell something was bothering him, and she had a good idea of what it could be.
When she suggested a walk in Waterfront Park, Rance didn’t question going into the historic district.
“I would offer you a piece of fried chicken for your thoughts, but I don’t have any on me.” She squeezed his hand as they faced the harbor.
He turned and smiled at her. He looked tired, as though he’d endured several sleepless nights. “It might cost you your company over a cup of coffee before we head home.”
“I can guarantee I’d be willing to pay that price.” She winked at him. “What’s going on?”
He shook his head soberly, gazing out at the water. “Way too much. You worked a wedding today, didn’t you? How’d it go? How’s your class going? Prince Charming still giving you rides to school?”
“Way to deflect the conversation, Rance. The wedding went off without a hitch, class is going well, and yes, Jake Prince is still keeping me entertained all the way to Myrtle Beach and back.” She gave him a sideways glance. “I’m thinking about fixing him up with Lydia.”
He nodded thoughtfully. “You sure you don’t want to keep him on the string, just in case?” He gave her a half-smile.
“What’s wrong?” She was serious. He wasn’t himself, and she didn’t quite know how to deal with it.
He tugged her hand toward the lighted Pineapple Fountain in the heart of the park. It was warm out, but she felt a chill run through her at his silence.
“I’m going to Nashville next week.”
“Okay, that sounds nice. Any particular reason or shouldn’t I ask?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I got an invitation from Vanderbilt Hospital to talk to them about a job.”
“In Nashville.”
“In Nashville.” He turned, looking down at their hands clasped between them. “It may be a good opportunity for me.”
“I’m sure.” She swallowed, confused. “I mean, Vanderbilt.”
He looked up at her, squinting in a pained expression. “It might also be a way to get away from my family.”
“And me.” Her gaze faltered. She did not want to cry. After all this was a summer romance. He was finishing up his education, she was in the middle of hers, and he had places to go. She was here. In South Carolina.
“That’s the kicker.”
“I get it.” She was going to be a grown up about this. He looked at her closely. “I really do.”
“Charly . . .” He shoved his hand through his hair and started pacing. “No, Charly, you don’t. I’m not who you think I am. I’m not even who I think I am or was.”
She had no hold on him. She was this close to giving her heart to him, but there was always a little seed of doubt. Probably a little God-pause. He wasn’t a believer, and he wasn’t sure about his life right now. For that matter, neither was she.
He could tell she didn’t get it. The only sane thing in his life right now was Charly Livingston. He felt like himself when he was with her. Even when he was confused and angry, she had a way about her.
She needed a man with a solid foundation. At this point, he had no foundation. Her religion was important to her, to her family. His family? They lied, they cheated, and they stole. At least that’s what he was learning, lately.
“You deserve better than me, Charly.”
Her eyes widened until he thought they would pop out of their sockets. She put her hands on her hips and looked at him with intensity. “Rance Elliot Butler, you’re crazy.”
He took a deep breath. She was mad now. He could deal with anger better than stoic heartbreak.
“Charly.”
“Rance.” She was calming down.
“I’ve got things to work out. Maybe this week, while I’m gone, we both need to do some thinking.” He took her hands again, pulling her closer this time into the circle of his arms. �
�I’m not saying I never want to see you again.”
“Are you sure?” She started fiddling with his loosened tie.
He laughed. “I’m not sure about anything right now.” He tugged. “Look at me.” When she did, he shook his head and sighed. “You make me a little crazy, did you know that?”
“Crazy in a good way, or crazy in a bad way?” The smile she tried to hide began to break through.
“To tell you the truth, I’m not completely sure.”
Chapter Twenty
“That you?” Lydia’s voice called out when she heard the door close.
“It’s me.” Charly’s sigh could have started a tidal wave, and that’s all it took to bring Lydia out of her room.
“What’s wrong? Did he break up with you? Did you break up with him?” Her eyes got wider the longer she stared at her best friend.
“None of the above, but close. Does that make sense?” Tears threatened to fall, and she was afraid nothing she could do or think was going to stop them.
“Oh, honey, what happened?” Lydia turned a light on in the kitchen and started heating water in the tea kettle.
“I’m not sure.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’m not sure. Rance has stuff going on with his family. I mean major stuff. He told me he’s going to Nashville next week to talk to a hospital. He may be moving to Nashville, Lyd.” Her wide eyes, filled with tears, met Lydia’s in heartbreak.
“Okay, he’s meeting with people in Nashville. Doesn’t mean he’ll get the job.”
“Oh, they’ll want him. Who wouldn’t?”
“Listen to yourself. I know he’s Prince William and Chris Pine all rolled into one for you, but there are lots of good doctors out there, and I’m sure they’re talking to more than one person. Rance is great, but I wouldn’t count him out yet.”
“He told me I deserved better than him.”
“Hmmm. He is struggling deeply with something, isn’t he?”
Charly nodded. “He said we needed to take this week to do some thinking.”
“What about praying?”
“I know I will be, but I’m not sure about him.” Charly twisted her lips in a frustrated grimace. “That’s another thing.”
“God.”
“I think he believes there is a God, but he’s having a hard time with the concept of God caring about individuals, especially with what’s going on right now.”
“I won’t ask what that is, because it’s none of my business, but is there any way all this can point him to God? Because if that doesn’t happen, I don’t see a future for you two.”
Lydia was power in a small package.
Charly laughed through her sniffles. “You sound like Lucy. Tell me how you really feel.”
“Always. That’s what best friends do, and Lucy is my role model, you know.” Lydia winked at her.
“I know. Honestly, this is not something I ever expected to happen.”
Lydia nodded sagely. “Because up to now you’ve never dated someone who isn’t a Christian.”
Her statement hit hard. All those times, as a teen, when she considered dating someone, this was the number one criteria. Was he a Christian? Now, she was letting her guard down, and she wondered if this was a type of punishment. Was she settling for less than God’s best for her life?
Charly stared at Lydia. “Then I guess I’d better start praying, hadn’t I?”
“And I’ll pray too. And while we’re at it, let’s pray me up a guy, okay?”
“Gotcha.”
“You’re awfully quiet today. I’ve told you three jokes and you have barely grinned.” Jake was doing his best to entertain her this Monday morning, but she wasn’t feeling it.
“Sorry.”
“Rough weekend? Ra-ance in trouble?”
She gave him her best stink-eye. “Rance is in Nashville, meeting with a recruiter.” There, she’d said it. She hadn’t even told her mom, and now Lydia and Jake both knew.
“Whoa.”
She looked over at him and noticed his raised eyebrows. “Yeah. That’s what I thought.”
“When did he tell you?”
“Saturday, after the concert.” Ugh. She felt the pressure in her chest that always brought on the tears. Not now, not right before class. Stop it. Stop it right now.
“Are you okay?” He looked over at her, compassion in his eyes. “You can talk to me if you need to.”
“Thanks, Jake. You’re a good friend.” A great friend. Why couldn’t she fall for someone like him?
“Do you mind if I pray for you?”
“Mind? Why would I mind? Please, I need all the prayers I can get. I don’t know what’s going to happen. Maybe God doesn’t want us together.” She paused, her pulse beginning to ramp up. “Or maybe I shouldn’t care so much what He thinks. If He loves me, the way He says he does in the Bible, then doesn’t He want me to be happy?”
She was beginning to get angry. Defensive, even.
“Hang on.”
“I mean, why would He let me fall for a guy like Rance if He didn’t want us to be together?”
“Uh, free will? Just because something is out there doesn’t mean we have to go for it.”
“Yeah, free will.” She huffed. “It would be easier if God would tell us what to do. Step-by-step instructions.”
“He did. It’s called the Bible. Mind if I pray right now, while we’re driving?”
“As long as you keep your eyes on the road.” She felt her face begin to heat in embarrassment.
“Noted. I make it a habit to not close my eyes and bow my head in prayer while driving.” He grinned at her and winked.
“Thank you.” She pursed her lips. “Sorry to be a whiner.”
“God, you know Charly has a problem. It’s not only a boyfriend problem, but a problem knowing what Your will is for her life. She loves You, Lord, but she’s a little irritated with You for some reason, and I pray You will reveal the reason to her and soften Rance’s heart toward You. Send someone to Rance to be a witness to him even now, while he’s in Nashville. And help Charly not to be mad at me so we can have fun again. While You’re at it, send me a girl who cares as much about You as I do. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
“Amen.” Charly reached over to touch his fingers on the steering wheel. “Thanks, Jake. I needed that.”
“I did too. I figure if you’re going to say you’ll pray for someone, may as well do it on the spot.”
Charly blew her nose and gave him a half-smile. “By the way, I have this friend, Lydia.”
He looked at her, and she saw some fear in his expression. “I’m happy for you? Let me guess. She’s six feet tall and has a beautiful complexion.”
Mopping up her tears, Charly finally felt a laugh coming out of her mouth. “Not even close.”
After getting settled into his room at the Sheraton Grand in downtown Nashville, Rance waited in the lobby for Phil Rickman, the recruiter for Vanderbilt Hospital. They were going out to dinner where Phil would prep him for the interview tomorrow. About ten minutes early for their appointment, he looked around the lobby. Charleston had it in spades when it came to nice hotels, but this one was over the top. His room had a view of the entire downtown area, and any amenity he could think of was at his disposal.
Dressed in jeans and a sports jacket, he crossed his ankle over his knee and steepled his hands as he looked around, thinking. His first thought was how comfortable this leather club chair was and wondered if he could get one like this.
He should be thinking about his prospects, about what it would be like to live in this city. It wasn’t as old as Charleston, but the vibrancy was enticing. Charly would like it here, he was sure.
And there he was. Charly. He’d said they both needed to think about things this week, so he was thinking. Mostly about how he had left it last Saturday. He had thought about showing up at church the next morning to see what it was like, but he didn’t want to give her hope where there might not
be any. And could he see himself in this kind of a life?
Instead, he had spent Sunday morning doing laundry and packing for the trip. He hoped Charly was having better luck avoiding the elephant in the room than he was.
God. What was He all about anyway? Clifton, his father, had said He was in control. If He was in control, why had He let his mother make decisions that affected so many people? Hurt so many people?
He shook his head. This particular rabbit trail led to frustration, and he didn’t have time for it. Phil was walking across the lobby toward him, so he stood with a smile.
“Phil, good to see you.” Rance shook the older man’s hand. He had seen his picture online but wasn’t expecting the real-life image of a cowboy standing in front of him.
The tall, weathered man in cowboy boots stuck his hand out and shook heartily. “Good to put a face with a name, Rance. Good flight?”
“Great. A two-hour flight beats a fourteen-hour drive any day.”
Phil laughed. “I hear ya. Hungry? I’m hankerin’ for some Tennessee barbecue, how about you?”
“Sounds great. I understand you guys do it right up here.”
“You understand correctly, young man. You been to Nashville much?”
“No, somehow I’ve missed it except for the airport.”
“We’re a hub for the South, seems like. Martin’s is down the street about a half-block. Can’t beat it. Up for a walk?”
“Sounds good.”
They made their way down the street. Being a Monday, the crowd was lighter than he was sure it had been on the weekend. They passed honky-tonks, shops, venues, and hotels and met every kind of person you can imagine in a busy downtown during summer tourist season.
“I called ahead, and they told me no problem getting a table. If they’re full in the front, they have outdoor seating in the back.”
They arrived at the restaurant and saw a few people outside waiting to get in. “I’ll check on the reservation and see what’s what.” Phil went in, and Rance stayed out on the sidewalk, looking around, enjoying the warm breeze and the tantalizing smell of hickory-smoked barbecue.
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