“I’d better tell this fella bye.” She kissed his plump, smooth cheek. “Bye, Beau. You be good for Mama and Daddy, you hear?”
The swing was a special place. She had been introduced to it as a kid, when she tagged along with Jared and Tom to swim on the beach down the path. It had been maintained over the years, so the wooden, porch-style swing was painted, and the ropes holding it in the huge live oak looked new.
Such a great place for pictures, both for the bride and groom and for guests.
She sat down for a minute, looking out over the marsh. It reached out farther than she could see from here. Peace. This place may have once been a bustling rice plantation, like the one where she grew up, but now it exuded peace, and she needed it.
Honestly, she thought if she were to plan her own wedding, she would like to have it here, on this rise, overlooking the marsh instead of on the beach. Beach weddings were all the rage because the sand was clean, and the sea oats and dunes were picturesque. But the marsh was special. It was alive.
Sometimes she wanted to feel more alive. Sometimes, like now, she felt the coldness around her heart and longed for it to melt. Being alive was more than breathing or feeling. It was knowing, experiencing.
It was having faith in something beyond yourself.
“I used to have faith in You. Is it still there, buried so deep I have to dig for it?” She grinned, listening to herself talk. It was like having a conversation with someone else. Actually, she was having a conversation. “God, where are You?”
She pulled her feet up on to the swing and sat, chin on her knees as she hugged them, looking out at the gently waving grasses. A lone egret flew up and away, disrupting for a moment the peace of the place. The sound of frogs and cicadas were the background music for her thoughts. Her mind was too full for words at this point.
God was here. He was for her. He loved her and hadn’t deserted her.
A tear crept out of the corner of her eye. “So why does it hurt so much?”
Maybe because she hadn’t given her hurt to Him. She tried to take care of it on her own, in her own strength.
“I know better, don’t I?” When her father passed, she had been strong for her mother. Everyone had been amazed. When her mother went blind, she stayed strong, wanting to keep things as normal as possible. But now?
Now she had hit a wall as tall and as solid as the walled gardens of the Charleston historic district.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Charly wiped her tears away when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.
It was Lucy. Are you still at Pilot Oaks?
Yes, about to finish up.
Could you come by the house before you go home?
Sure. Be there in about 20.
Great. CYA.
Charly smiled. As loquacious as Lucy could be in person, via text she was pretty no-nonsense. Of course, since the arrival of the twins she had no time for pleasure-texting.
She rose from the swing and stretched, looking around in the lengthening shadows of the tree from which the swing was attached. Yes, it was still her favorite place, any time of the day. “Thank you, God.”
I love you.
She looked around and realized the voice she heard wasn’t an audible voice, but the still, small voice you can only hear when you are still. “I love you too.”
Her heart was full. She didn’t want to lose this moment, but her brain was telling her she needed to get to Tom and Lucy’s to see what was going on. She put her hand on the area of her heart, where it hurt, deep inside. “Help me, Lord.”
I Am.
“Then why do I feel broken inside?”
My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. [2 Cor. 12:9]
It was one of those memory verses she had learned as a child. As an adult, she knew this was what God said to Paul, when he complained about the “thorn in the flesh” that kept him dependent on God. In fact, Paul praised God for giving him this burden because it kept him humble and in touch with God.
Humility was never one of the virtues Charly appreciated, although she liked to appear humble. She was the “good girl.” The girl you could always count on to be there, to say all the right things, and to help the needy. It was her way of life. Her family legacy.
What was her individual legacy from God? Had she considered that?
She shook her head in confusion. Why did one have to become weak to be strong? The very idea was counter-intuitive from the human perspective. From the perspective of a believer, it made sense.
For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift––not from works, so that no one can boast. [Eph. 2:8-9]
God’s gift. She had been given life, simply because God loved her. That was huge. And He not only loved her, but everyone else every bit as much. And that included Rance.
As Charly drove up, she saw Tom putting his mower away. “You just about let dark catch you.”
“Days are getting a little shorter, but the grass sure isn’t. To what do we owe the pleasure?” Tom put his arm around her shoulders and walked with her into the house.
“You, bro, are sweaty.” She cringed in his embrace.
He grinned. “Yeah, I know.”
She poked him in the ribs with her elbow.
“Ow!” Tom laughed as she wriggled from his hug.
She ran up the back steps to the door where Lucy was standing.
“Tom, are you harassing your sister?” She stayed behind the screen. “Hurry up so the mosquitoes can’t get in.”
They hustled through the doorway and let the door slam behind them. “It’s a big brother’s prerogative to harass his little sister. It’s called payback.”
“What did I ever do to you?”
Tom crossed his arms and stroked his chin, thinking. “Hmmm, let’s see now, there was the rip on my Power Rangers poster.”
“It was barely there. The tape was loose.”
“Humph. I noticed it right away.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Charly shook her head in disgust.
Lucy had walked out of the kitchen to check on a crying infant. She came back in, hands on her hips. “Thomas Sumter Livingston, are you still whining about your middle-school Star Wars poster?”
“It was Power Rangers, and I hadn’t even gotten to my Star Wars action figure collection she constantly rearranged.”
Charly laughed and then felt the tears coming. A surge of love for her family overtook her as she threw herself into Tom’s arms. She needed a hug only a big brother could give.
“Hey, I’m not still mad, I was teasing.” He hugged her, and Charly knew he was shrugging and looking over her shoulder at Lucy.
She pulled away and grabbed a paper towel to mop herself up, then started laughing. “I needed that.”
“What?” Tom still looked confused.
“A text from my sister-in-law, and lighthearted teasing and a hug from my brother. Thank you.” She blew her nose noisily and threw away the paper towel.
“Glad we could help.” Lucy hugged her. “Now, are you okay? You seem a little out of sorts.”
“Ya think?” Charly shook her head and smiled. “I’ve been better.” She waved her hand. “I’ll be fine.”
“It’s Rance, isn’t it?”
Charly looked down at her toes then up at Lucy. “I’m not sure anymore.”
Lucy looked at Tom and tilted her head.
“What?” Charly frowned and then shook her head. “I forgot you wanted me to come by. What’s going on?”
“Well, I saw Rance this morning.”
She felt her face warm and looked away. “Did you now?”
“Actually, I almost ran over him with my entourage.” Lucy grinned. “He was coming around the same corner I was with the double stroller and Hayes, and we almost collided.”
“Maybe you should have taken him out.” Tom quirked an eyebrow at his sister and gave her a mock glare.
<
br /> Charly simply looked up and shook her head. “Seriously. We broke up, but it doesn’t mean I want you to ‘off’ him.” She turned back to Lucy. “Did you talk to him?”
“I did, and he asked about you. He seemed a little preoccupied.”
“I’m sure he is. Between his family situation and job-hunting, he’s had a lot on his mind.”
“And you.”
“And me what?”
“He’s had you on his mind as well.” Lucy walked over to the coffee maker and held up the pot. “Want to sit a bit?”
Charly sighed. She knew it sounded juvenile, but it was that kind of day. “I could use a good, stiff cup of coffee.”
“It’s been sitting here most of the day, so I can vouch for its stiffness.”
Charly settled into a kitchen chair and took the mug from Lucy. “Sugar?”
“Here you go.” Lucy scooted the sugar bowl to her. She sat at the table across from her, Tom on the end between them.
“What did he have to say?”
“Well, after I told him we’d missed seeing him––”
“Lucy!”
“Well, I have. He’s great with Hayes.”
Charly covered her face with her hands. “The break-up was mutual, you know.”
“I know, but I have a right to my opinion, but that’s neither here nor there. I asked how the job hunt was going, and he told me he’d had interviews at Charleston and here in Georgetown in addition to the one in Nashville.”
“Here? In Georgetown?” She shook her head. “Why here? I mean, for an internship it’s fine, but it’s small compared to the other places he had mentioned.” Lucy shrugged. “We didn’t get into that. What I wanted to tell you is that he’s having surgery, and he wanted me to let you know.”
“He’s going through with it, isn’t he?”
“The kidney donation? Yes. I asked if I could pray for him, and he said he would appreciate it, and then asked me to let you know.”
Charly swallowed. He wanted her to know. “When is the surgery?”
“He didn’t say specifically, only that it would be in a couple of weeks. He said the job situation was going to be put on hold until after recovery from surgery.” Lucy twisted her lips in a gamin grin. “Hayes got in on the conversation then. He asked Rance if he was your boyfriend.”
“He didn’t.”
“He did. Hey, if you want information, take a four-year-old along. They cut through the red tape in a hurry.”
“I have to ask, what did he say?”
“He said he wasn’t sure, but when he figured it out, he would let Hayes know. They shook on it.”
“Oh well, then, since they shook on it . . .” Charly shook her head and smiled. “I’m torn.”
Lucy nodded. “I know.” She looked at her husband and put her hand over his larger one on the table. “It took me a while to get over thinking I could control everything around me, including this guy here. I finally had to give up the idea of ‘us’ and start over. We had to get acquainted all over again.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Morning weddings were wonderful. The Benningfield wedding festivities at Atalaya Castle inside Huntington Beach State Park were over by mid-afternoon, and everyone hurried the clean up so they could have more free time. Charly drove the short distance to the beach house around four-thirty.
She would love to sit on the beach for a while. She and Lydia could go to the beach then order pizza and watch a movie tonight. That would be fun. It had been a perfect day, lower humidity than usual, although further inland, without the stiff ocean breeze, it got hotter and hotter. Summer in South Carolina.
She unlocked the door to wonderful smells coming from the kitchen.
“Lydia, what is that amazing smell?”
“It is my famous lasagna.”
“Since when do you have famous lasagna?” Charly laughed. Lydia wasn’t known for her cooking. Art, yes, culinary arts, no.
“Since I got the recipe from Sarah Benton, who takes pity on girls who are late bloomers like her in the cooking category.” Lydia opened the oven to check the progress. “It’ll be done in about twenty minutes, and then it’ll have to rest for at least ten.”
The spicy smell tickled her nose, in a good way. “Is this for us, or are you hosting a dinner party?”
“I’m hosting a dinner party, and you’re invited.”
“Who’s coming?”
“Well, Jake, of course.”
“Of course.”
“And Matthew.”
“Who’s Matthew?” Something about the way Lydia wouldn’t meet her eyes made her suspect this wasn’t simply a dinner party.
“He’s a friend of Jake’s. He teaches in Myrtle Beach.”
“And who else is coming?” She arched an eyebrow at her roommate.
“Nobody else.” Lydia smiled brightly.
Charly melted into a barstool. “Lydia, is this a fix-up?”
“It’s a dinner amongst friends, and who has enough friends?”
“I do.”
“No, you don’t. You’ve moped around here long enough. It’s time to get out there and face the world again. You’ve done nothing but go to school and work all summer.”
“I was going to go relax on the beach and thought maybe we could have a girls’ night in.” She knew she was whining. She was tired, both physically and emotionally.
Lydia waved her hand dismissively. “We’ve had too many girls’ nights in, if you ask me. We’ll have dinner and play a few games. No pressure.”
“No, not for you.”
“You’ll be fine. Now go get changed and help me with the garlic bread and salad. They’ll be here in about forty-five minutes.”
“Fine. I’ll be here, but I won’t have fun.” She got up from the stool and put her hands on her hips.
“Not with that attitude you won’t.” Lydia rolled her eyes as Charly flounced down the hallway to her room.
Charly fumed as she changed clothes, throwing her dress and heels in the corner as if punishing them for being there. She couldn’t believe Lydia would fix her up. It was too soon. And she wasn’t sure if it was over with Rance. After talking to Lucy and Tom, she wondered.
She pulled on jeans and a brightly-colored top that could be construed as being cute, if she were of a mood to look “cute.”
Oh, well. Like Lydia said, you can’t have too many friends, and he is Jake’s friend, so how bad could it be?
She slid on her sandals and fluffed her hair, putting on extra lipstick before leaving her room. Taking a deep breath, she looked at herself in the mirror one more time and nodded. She’d get through this, and she would be as pleasant and charming as humanly possible.
The sound of the oven door opening told her she had better get in there before Lydia dragged her to the kitchen. She made the turn into the kitchen and stopped when she looked at the dish her roomie had pulled out of the oven. It was a little lopsided but looked edible.
“You know, for somebody whose main contribution to food preparation up to now has been chocolate chip cookies and scrambled eggs, this looks pretty good.”
“Thanks. I think.” Lydia gave her a dirty look and then smiled when she saw she had freshened her makeup.
“Have you met this guy?” Charly pulled the salad fixings out of the crisper drawer of the refrigerator and put them on the counter.
Lydia took a salad bowl out of the cabinet and placed it on the counter in front of Charly. “No, but Jake says he’s nice. He goes to his church, and they’ve been friends for a long time.”
“Hmmm. We’ll see. I make no promises. If things go south, should we have a safe word?”
Lydia simply stared at her.
Charly turned her face toward the counter, her back to her friend.
“I mean, just in case. What if I can’t stand him?”
“Surely you can break bread and socialize with a fellow human being for a few hours. It doesn’t mean you’re agreeing to marry the guy.”
Charly twisted her mouth, trying not to laugh. “I mean, I love Jake, but I can’t imagine dating him. I would get tired of laughing.”
“Maybe he doesn’t share Jake’s love of puns and alliteration. Although I can think of worse things.”
Salad done, Charly turned and leaned on the counter. “Lyd, I’m teasing you, in case you didn’t know.”
“As irritated as you were earlier, I figured you’d be pouty all evening.”
“Have I been that bad?”
“At times.”
“I’m sorry. I promise I’ll be good tonight.”
“Thank you, Lord.” Lydia raised her hands Heavenward, and then arched an eyebrow. “And will you promise that if you like him and he asks you out, you’ll at least consider it?”
“I’ll consider it.” She paused, wondering if she should tell Lydia what Lucy had told her the day before. She looked at the clock. Still another twenty minutes before the guys would be there. “I didn’t tell you what I found out yesterday.”
“About?”
“Rance.”
Lydia sighed. “He would rear his ugly head, wouldn’t he? Not that he’s ugly, because he’s absolutely––”
“Yes, he is, and that has nothing to do with it. Lucy saw him, and he asked her to tell me he’s having surgery.”
Lydia sobered. “The kidney donation?”
Charly nodded, tearing up a little. “I feel like I should get in contact with him, but I’m not sure.”
“Is it a feeling or a nudge?” Lydia looked her straight in the eye.
“I’m not sure. The fact he made a point to tell Lucy makes me wonder. Maybe I’m supposed to get in touch with him.”
“Then call him.”
“What if I mess things up? We decided to cool things down, think things through, and he has my number.”
“And it sounds like he’s had a lot going on in the last few weeks. Keep that in mind.”
Charly held up her hand. “I know. It’s not all about me.”
“It’s not about any of us. We’re simply along for the ride.”
Carolina Grace (Southern Breeze Series Book 3) Page 19