by Eve Stone
Lance. The one who is currently heartbroken.
“I’ve gotta go,” I say, not even looking at him. He doesn’t deserve anything from me.
I look all over the auditorium until my eyes find Lance. He’s talking to Holly, but I can’t even worry about that right now. I need to get to him, because we need to talk.
I shoulder my way through the crowd, trying desperately to make the mob of people move. When I’m with earshot, I yell his name. He looks back at me until Holly says something and pulls his attention back to her. She links her arm through his and they walk off towards the door.
My cheeks heat at the slight. How could he be so harsh? He’s never treated me like this. I’ve lived my life keeping quiet while others talked behind my back—about my failure as a sorceress—or walked all over me. I was done doing that. I’m going to force Lance to listen to me.
When I finally make it to them, I push between Holly and him.
“We need to talk. Now,” I order.
“It’s not a great time, Gwen.”
“I don’t care. We’re talking about this.”
“Just give me some time,” he all but begs.
As much as I can understand his need for distance, it isn’t going to happen. In all the years we’ve been friends, we’ve never allowed our issues to stew. We’ve always talked them out and I’m not about to start the avoidance now, especially with everything else we’ve been doing these past few months.
“No,” I say, firmly. “If roles were reversed there’s no way that you would let me stay angry. You need to talk to me.”
He looks at Holly. “Give us a minute?”
She crosses her arms, pouting. “Laannce,” she draws out. “You promised you’d walk me back to my room. I’m scared with the Knight’s deaths.”
I roll my eyes. Holly can’t be any more annoying if she tried. Opportunistic bitch. Of course, Lance would be a gentleman.
“Just give me a few minutes. Gwen is right. We need to talk,” he says, frowning in my direction.
Effectively dismissed, Holly spins on her heels and stalks off. Lance doesn’t say anything. He’s obviously giving me the floor and I’m happy to take it. If he thinks he’s the only one who’s angry, he has another guess coming.
“Are you fucking kidding me with that?” I say, gesturing toward Holly. “I’m chosen for something I want no part of and that’s enough to make you betray me with her?”
“Betray you?” he snaps. “What about the way you were looking at him?”
“I wasn’t,” I lie. “I was caught off guard.”
“You were all but eye fucking him,” he barks. “Should we invite him back to your room for a little threesome action? For old times’ sake? No, that wouldn’t be right. If it were like before, I’d be forced to watch you and him from the fucking corner.”
“You’ve lost your mind,” I accuse, wanting to hit him. “I don’t even know him.”
He barks out a laugh. “You’ll have plenty of time now. What with you both being champions.”
“You’re not being fair, Lance.”
“Fair? Let’s talk about fair, Gwen. I’ve chased after you my entire life and just when things might start to go my way, he has to come back and fuck it all up.”
I throw my hands up in the air. “He hasn’t done anything! I haven’t even spoken to him. I don’t want to.”
“I just need some space. Give me time to cool down, Gwen. Holly needs me.”
“She needs you? I need you. I’m scared too, Lance.”
“You’ll be fine. You always are.”
“Stop being like this. Where the hell is my Lance?”
“Now I’m your Lance? You’ve been avoiding what’s happening between us for weeks. Do you think I don’t see the turmoil going on behind those pretty eyes of yours? I know you’re not sure about what you want. Here’s your chance to take some time and figure it out, Gwen.”
“What about the ball?”
I don’t know why I brought it up. I could care less about the fucking ball. It’s the last thing I want to do, but I need to change the subject away from us.
“I’ve made other arrangements. You didn’t seem keen on going.”
“Are you going with her?” I question, feeling betrayed before even knowing the details.
“There’s a group of people going, and she asked me to tag along.”
“So, you’re going with her?” my voice comes out strangled.
“I figured you’d have other things to do tonight given your new position as a champion.” His voice is harsh and sounds nothing like my friend. A pang of hurt punches me in the stomach.
“I’m not really sure what’s going on with you, Lance, but I can’t control who’s chosen as
a champion. I thought it would be you. None of it makes sense, but I don’t have a say.”
“This doesn’t have anything to do with me not being a champion.”
“It doesn’t?”
“Of course I’m upset. I thought for sure one of the spots would be me, but that’s not my issue. It was the way you looked at him,” he spits the word, sounding disgusted.
I’m not going to admit it easily. “Who?”
He laughs humorously. “Don’t play games, Gwen.”
“Are you kidding me?” I yell, garnering stares. “I couldn’t give a fuck about him. I haven’t seen him in years. His being here caught me off guard just as much as it did you,” I take a deep breath, trying to calm down. “I haven’t even thought about him in years.”
Lies.
“Well you surely were admiring him with me right next to you.”
I sigh. “What do you want from me, Lance?” I ask, growing tired of fighting.
“You know what I want, Gwen. I’ve made it clear.” He runs his hands back through his blonde locks in frustration. “I don’t think I can make it any more clear,” he grinds his teeth. “Every single time I try to tell you that I want more, you run away.”
“I-I,” I stutter, feeling so thrown off that he would bring this up now.
I’m not prepared. To fight? Hell yeah. To talk about our feelings? No way. I’m still not sure what exactly I’m feeling and our friendship means too much. It’s not worth ruining by having this conversation right now, because I don’t know that I can give Lance what he wants. My mind is not in any position to go down that path.
“Lance, please. Right now is not the time.”
“When is it ever going to be the time, Gwen?” He begins to pace. “I have chased after you for years. I have loved you for years.”
I gasp, hands flying up to my mouth. “Oh my god, Lance. Please stop,” I beg.
“Wow,” he breathes. “That’s not the reaction I thought I’d get after spilling my heart to you.”
“Please,” I plead, needing him to stop.
I’m digging myself a deeper hole. The hurt is written all over his face.
“No,” he barks. “I’m tired of staying silent. I want you and if you don’t feel the same, then it’s time that I move on.”
He turns and starts to walk away. I grab him by the arm. “Please, Lance,” I say, starting to sound like a broken record. “Don’t do this. Just give me some time.”
He looks over his shoulder. “Time is something we don’t have, now that you’re a champion.”
And then he walks away, leaving me speechless.
I sit in my room for hours waiting for Lance to come by. We have never fought for this long before and it’s eating away at me. I replay everything he said over and over again, and each time my heart breaks a little more. I do love Lance, I’m just not sure it’s in the way that he loves me. Yes, my feelings for him have been growing, and yes, I’ve been questioning whether it could be more, but love in the way he is saying it is so much more than where I am currently.
I fidget, trying to decide what to do. I refuse to go to the ball. The few friends that I have— aside from Lance—are superficial at best. Most are just friends with me becau
se their parents push it on them because of who my parents are. Lance has been my only true friend through the years, and with us on the outs, I don’t have one good reason to get dressed up and pretend to be happy. And if I’m being honest, watching him and Holly is the last thing I’m prepared to do.
I push thoughts of Lance aside and focus on the other monumental events of the day. Tristan is back. Aside from the physical changes, what else is different about him? Does he have a girlfriend? Is she here?
Why do you care?
I shake my head. The last thing I need is to go from one boy issue to another, and the truth of the matter is, the Trial of Crowns competition is much more important than anything else. We’re fighting for Knighthood.
There has never been a woman Knight in history, and now there are two of us competing for it. The thought is absurd. The council has been adamant that tradition should be upheld. It’s been the excuse any time a woman has tried to raise issue with the gender inequalities. What’s changed?
I need to know more about what Knights were put through in order to be inducted.
There’s no way that they would allow three of us to join the round table without enduring similar obstacles. From the little I remember from class, it was a test that many failed. Some died during their attempts.
It was never anything I’d ever cared to learn about. Before today, there was no chance of me being a Knight. The truth is, I’m inadequately prepared. I have a lot of studying to do, and with the ball in full swing, the library is sure to be empty. If I’m lucky, all of the other champions would be just as clueless as me. Perhaps I could give myself a head start?
Doubtful.
By the glowing praise for all of the other champions, they’re already ahead of me in abilities. When it came to strength, all the boys could crush me. No, I have a lot of catching up to do.
I throw on a sweatshirt, throw my hair in a messy bun, and head toward the D’Morte library. My family had contributed so much money over the years and had been one of the longest running legacies of Avalon academy, so the library was named after us.
No wonder I didn’t have many friends.
I blow out a harsh breath, ready to stop my pity party and get to work. It’s time to figure out just what’s in store for me.
Chapter Five
On my way to the massive library, I pass the ball room. The doors are wide open, and I watch as bodies gyrate to the thumping bass. Like the glutton for punishment I am, my eyes seek out Lance, and even in a room filled to the brim with thousands of people, I find him.
In a well-fitted tux, he’s gorgeous. His hair’s styled, instead of his typical tousled mess that I’ve grown to love. Holly’s talking animatedly to him, and much to my disappointment, he smiles down at her. My stomach drops at the sight, blood pumping wildly.
How could he declare his love to me, and yet mere hours later, be looking at her like that? It’s absolute bullshit, and it makes me glad I hadn’t said anything to him about how I felt. At this moment he doesn’t deserve it and he clearly doesn’t feel the way he thinks he does. You don’t move on that fast.
I shake my head, resigned to the fact that we are officially fighting. As much as I want to sit here and further punish myself by watching the night play out between Lance and Holly, I know I have more important things to do. I slink away, walking towards the other end of Avalon. When I reach the heavy double wooden doors, I lean in with most of my weight to open them. I’m not trying to be quiet as it was unlikely anyone was here at this hour.
My heavy footfalls sound on the marble floors as I stride with purpose through the aisles. I head toward the back to find my table for the night. Regardless of the fact that everyone else is at the ball, I don’t want to take the chances of being seen. Distractions are not on the agenda. I lay my bag down and go in search of the aisle dedicated to the Knights of the Round Table.
I’m riffling through my fourth book when I hear a throat clear. I jump, screeching. The familiar chuckle has me spinning to glare daggers at whoever has frightened me.
Tristan.
With my hand on my heart, I bite out, “you scared the shit out of me.”
“Didn’t notice,” he grins.
I scoff. “What are you doing here?”
“It would appear we had the same idea,” he says, reaching past me to grab a book off the
shelf.
“You skipped the ball?” I ask.
“You sound surprised,” he smiles.
“I am.”
“It’s not really my thing,” he said, shrugging.
“What is your thing?”
I wish I could take the question back. It’s innocent enough, but it sounds too much like I care and that’s one thing he definitely does not deserve. Not after leaving me the way he did.
“Quiet, reading, just about anything aside from a crowded room with a bunch of giggling girls.”
“I find that doubtful,” I jeer.
“It’s true. The girls at Westoff are boring as hell. None of them take sorcery seriously. They treat it like one big sorority. They’re all there to get there M.R.S. degrees.”
“M.R.S.?”
“You know, Mrs. As in married with a white picket fence and two point five kids. Mrs.”
I’ve never heard of such a thing. It’s ridiculous. The thought of getting married at this age is the last thing I want to think about. I want adventures, excitement, traveling. I definitely do not want to be tied down.
“That’s…obnoxiously awful.”
He laughs. “I figured you wouldn’t have changed so much. You’re still the same Gwen… just… bigger.”
“Bigger.” I taste the foul word on my own tongue.
Who the hell says something like that? I’m five foot six inches and weigh only one hundred and fifteen pounds. I’m nowhere near “bigger”.
“Well…you certainly have a way with women,” I say, rolling my eyes and walking past him.
“Wait, I didn’t mean it like that,” he says, following me.
Tristan is undoubtedly a fan favorite of the female population these days, but good grief. What type of girl does he date? I hate the insecurity a few words spoken from him could cause. I’d never been self-conscience, but now, I ran my hands down my sides as though I’d find an extra thirty pounds there.
“Gwen, stop. Listen to me.”
I whirled around, pointing my finger into his chest.
“I don’t care what you say, Tristan. I don’t know you and you don’t know me. Just stay away and we’ll be fine.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply anything bad. You look…amazing, Gwen.”
“You should’ve led with that,” I bark. “You’ve really changed, haven’t you? The Tristan I remember was the kindest, most thoughtful boy I knew.”
“Yeah, well…that Tristian died a long time ago.”
“That’s a shame. And you know something, if you weren’t currently standing right in front of me, I’d actually believe that you were really dead. I never once thought that the Tristan I knew would’ve walked away without a word. I thought I meant more to him,” I shrug. “Guess you’re right. That Tristan is gone.”
I don’t know why am saying this to him. It’s been so long it seems childish to harbor the kind of resentment I do, but I can’t help it. He’s caught me on a bad day.
“I’m sorry, Gwen. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but you have to understand we were children and for me it was easier to just cut ties.”
“Well, I guess that makes me stronger than you.”
I walk past him, heading back to the shelves of books. Our conversation has me so worked up, I had walked away without a single one. I’m here for a reason and I really need to get back to it. I grab a book off the shelf, and then another, and then another, hoping that one of them will have what I need. I feel Tristan behind me, his breath tickling my neck. A shiver ran down my spine.
“I saw Lance earlier. He refused to talk to me.”
&
nbsp; “Well then it looks like you and I have more in common than I thought, because he’s not talking to me either.”
“Oh?” he says, sounding surprised.
“It’s not something I want to talk to you about. I’m here to work. Maybe you should get back to you what you were doing, too.”
“Look, Gwen, you have every right to be angry with me.”
I turn around to face him. “You’re right. I do. What you did was shitty. I thought so much of you and you crushed me.”
He sighs but doesn’t speak.
“But you know what?” I take a deep breath, willing my hands to stop shaking. I’m not being fair. He’s right. I’m holding a grudge from something that happened when we were kids.
“I’m sorry. I’m just lashing out because I’m stressed. Lance and I are arguing and the last thing I expected was to be named the champion. So excuse me for having my meltdown on you.”
“Are you and Lance an item?” He asks, keeping his face neutral.
“That’s none of your business,” I snap.
He takes a step closer. “You’re right, but that doesn’t mean I’m not curious.”
“Well, you know what they say about curiosity.”
He chuckles. “You know, you’re still the same. You were always quick with the comebacks.”
I roll my eyes to the ceiling.
“Don’t get me wrong, you’ve done a lot of changing too,” he says sucking in his right cheek like he’s done forever.
I purse my lips. “Oh, you mean like getting bigger?”
His eyes float to my covered chest and I suck in a breath.
“You have done some growing, but I can assure you Gwen, you’re…perfect.”
“You know, I don’t even think I want to know that.”
I continue walking towards my table. Sitting my books down, I take my seat and open up the first book. Tristan puts his hands flat on the desk and leans over the desk, looking imposing and giving me a close view of just how good-looking he actually is.
“You had to have known they’d choose you to be a champion. You’re one of the most promising sorceresses of the century.”