Across the bay, yet another helicopter went to land on a property on the outskirts of Laredo. Yachts and speedboats had been arriving for the past hour too.
Following Paco and Lore, who were already heading back up to the finca, she knew that there was no way she was going to be able to spend the entire evening alone with Ivo. She needed to take a breather from what was happening between them and get some much-needed perspective.
She knocked on his office door but he was not there. Moving further along the corridor, following a hissing sound, she came to a stop at another doorway. Ivo was in the home gym on a rowing machine. Dressed in navy shorts and a T-shirt that clung to his damp body, he attacked each stroke with stern determination as though excising some internal demon.
She swallowed at the thick muscles of his thighs, the contraction of his biceps, the power and strength of his massive body. What would it be like to have him lie on top of her? She hadn’t slept with a man since Dan. Was that why her hormones were raging? Was it simply by virtue of being in the prolonged presence of a young single male that was having her have sexual fantasies that were beyond anything she had ever contemplated before?
She had to stop this. She needed to get a grip. She breezed into the room and perched herself on the edge of the treadmill. ‘I’m exhausted just looking at you.’
He faltered for a few seconds but, regaining his rhythm, grinned at her. ‘Would you like some one-on-one tuition?’
See, this was what she couldn’t deal with, when he surprisingly flirted so easily with her.
‘There’s a lot of activity over in Laredo, with yachts and helicopters arriving at a property on the waterfront—what’s going on?’
‘The singer Federico has a villa in Laredo, and he throws a party every year on the night of the feria parade.’
‘Federico! I had such a schoolgirl crush on him.’
Ivo frowned before coming to a stop in his rowing. ‘He’s a nice guy...it’s a shame his plastic surgery went so bad though...he’s almost unrecognisable.’
‘You’re kidding! He was perfect as he was—why on earth did he have surgery?’ Pausing, she let out a disbelieving breath. ‘You’re winding me up again, aren’t you?’
His eyes shone with amusement. ‘When was the last time you saw him?’
‘I’ve no idea. He disappeared from the music scene about ten years ago... How do you know him?’
‘We sometimes meet in Laredo. It’s a small place.’
‘Have you been invited to his party?’
Placing the rowing handle in its holder, he unbuckled his feet, grabbed a towel and ran it over his face. ‘Yes, but I have no interest in going.’
‘Why not? It’ll be fun. It’d be nice to get out and meet other people.’
He stood, giving an impatient shake of his head.
‘Please, Ivo...just for an hour or two...what’s the harm in going? It would be great to get out for a while...’ She trailed off when he walked towards her. Reaching down, he pulled her to her feet, his eyes blazing down into hers. And then he was kissing her, pulling her against his damp body. Her senses went into immediate overload, his strength, the tang of fresh male sweat heady in its vitality, and instantly she was lost to everything but a hunger for him.
When he broke away from the kiss he kept one hand threaded through her hair, his other palm gently resting on her cheek. ‘I want to spend time here...alone with you.’ His voice was low and raspy. And then he was walking away, muttering that he needed to take a shower.
‘Maybe that’s why we should go,’ she called out in frustration.
He turned and considered her for a moment, but with a shake of his head he gave her his answer, and left the room.
* * *
Scrubbing his scalp, Ivo turned the water flow up to maximum and let the pounding water drum into his skull. Unable to focus on work earlier, he had hoped an hour’s rowing would ease his restlessness and it had worked until Toni had arrived at the gym. The sight of her perched on the side of the treadmill, her red wrap dress accentuating the gorgeous shape of her body, had all contributed to wrecking his attempts to try and get some perspective on what had happened on the beach earlier.
The chemistry between them, so raw and urgent, was unsettling in itself. But as they had lain together and kissed and touched and chatted and laughed, a dangerous connection had spun between them. A fondness even. Fondness...was that even the right word? It felt like an odd choice of word, but nothing else summed up the gentle teasing, the natural ease that was between them. An ironic ease, given that it troubled him so much.
In all of his previous relationships he had been able to maintain an emotional distance. None of his exes had challenged his status quo—he had managed to remain detached from them, had continued on with life in the way he wanted to pursue it. But Toni was different. He had a hunger for her, an uncontrollable need to touch her, to chat with her, tease her, which felt apart from his usual self-control and logic.
He needed to create distance between them. He needed to make it clear who he was and that he wasn’t for changing.
Towelling himself dry, he pulled on chinos and a lightweight shirt. He found her out on the terrace staring towards the lights of Laredo. Dropping her feet from where she had propped them on the side of the outdoor coffee table, she sat up on the sofa and pulled out the earbuds attached to her phone.
He sat opposite her, his back to Laredo. ‘I like my life. I don’t need or want to go to parties.’
He expected questions and protests but instead she gave him silence. He arched his neck against the sudden burning need to talk. ‘I have always been content on my own. It’s other people who have difficulty in accepting that.’
She grimaced. ‘I’m sorry...’
‘It’s frustrating having to justify the decisions you take, all of the time.’
‘Is that why you prefer to be alone, because you feel you have to justify yourself to others?’
Why was he talking to her about any of this? What use could it serve? ‘Yes...no...look, can you just accept that I am happy in my life? I work and enjoy life here in San Jorbo. I don’t need anything else.’
She flinched at his words and he regretted the heat in his voice. But then, meeting his gaze she asked, ‘What about your family? Don’t you want to be with them?’
‘We have a complex relationship. We were all sent to boarding school from a young age, so we aren’t as close as other families are.’
‘Do you wish things had been different?’
‘I don’t see the point in wishing for things that are already in the past,’ he responded.
‘I guess, but it’s okay to admit that things have hurt you. We all have things in our past that we wish had been different or regret...at least, I do.’
Something caught in his throat at the gentleness of her tone. And without thinking he blurted out, ‘I was alone with her when she fell.’
Dio! Why was he talking about this? He clenched his hands. This was not what he had planned. He should just make his excuses and leave.
But instead he sat in the silence between them and as much as he fought it, his eyes kept being drawn back to her steady, soft contemplation. ‘My mother—we were out riding. I had gone ahead, and when I turned back her horse, Cassini, was charging towards me without her. I found her lying on the ground unconscious.’ He closed his eyes. How was it possible that that memory still invoked the same horror now as it did all those years ago? ‘I tried waking her, but she was unresponsive. I ran for help. I should have stayed. She shouldn’t have died alone.’
He waited for her to justify his decisions that day, or even, as his father had done, tell him to stop thinking about it, that it didn’t matter. That there was nothing he could have done. His father hadn’t understood... Ivo knew that he wouldn’t have been able to save her, but the thought that she had
died without someone by her side destroyed him.
Had she known that she was alone? Had she felt abandoned? Had that been her last thought? Why was she dying alone with no one to hold her hand, to speak words of love?
Toni moved over and sat beside him. He waited for her to speak but instead she rested her hand on his and he breathed against the instinct to take his hand away. This was not who he was. He didn’t discuss his past. The pull to clam up, to withdraw from her, gathered strength.
‘Were you able to talk to your family about how you were feeling?’
He laughed at that. ‘We operate a the least said, the better policy.’
‘Do you miss her?’
A heavy weight pressed down on his chest. Her hand shifted to wrap over his completely, the light, feminine weight undoing him in how she was trying to comfort him. ‘She understood me. She understood that by nature I’m private and often need time alone.’ He shook his head. ‘Not the best qualities when you’re born into public life, I’ll admit.’
‘I reckon Luis makes up for you on that front.’
She was right. Despite himself he laughed, but the weight on his chest still felt like a heavy mass. ‘True.’ And then he heard himself admit, ‘I found public life tolerable when I was younger...but after she died...’ he trailed off, not sure how to explain it all. ‘I didn’t want to leave my bedroom. I spent hours building fantasy worlds with my toy soldiers. It drove my father crazy.’
She exhaled slowly, her eyes holding his. ‘You had a major trauma. It was your way of coping.’
‘I needed space, I needed to grieve in privacy, but instead I had to publicly grieve in front of the entire world. I couldn’t cope with the crowds, the television cameras.’
Shifting forward in her seat, she turned so that she was looking at him directly. ‘I’m sorry that you lost your mum and that you weren’t able to grieve for her in the way that you needed to.’ She grimaced, shaking her head. ‘I wish I could say, do something more than just say that I’m sorry.’ She paused and he saw tears glisten in her eyes. ‘I had never thought about it before tonight but I know that with my mum, when...’ she stopped, clearly struggling to speak ‘...when she dies I’ll want to be there for her, and I’m so sorry that didn’t happen for you.’
He had no words. So he gathered her to him, laying her head against his chest, fighting back a heavy wave of emotion in his chest, her compassion, her understanding, overwhelming him.
And then came panic. The cool walls of logic and detachment he had erected around himself were melting in the warmth of her care. He couldn’t allow himself to be vulnerable to anyone again. He didn’t want heartache and disappointment, all of the conflict that came when you had to negotiate your way through relationships.
He pulled away from her and stood. Nodded in the direction of Laredo. ‘Let’s go to Federico’s party.’
She considered him with a dazed expression. ‘Why...what’s changed?’
I can’t do this. I can’t grow close to you.
‘You’re right, it would be good to get out.’
* * *
On the road beneath the terraced gardens of Federico’s villa, the feria parade marched from the harbour to the town centre, a statue of the local saint carried on a plinth leading the way. Following her were local girls dressed in flamboyant gowns, their dark hair smoothed into perfectly neat buns, proud men on horseback, fishermen pushing their boats on trailers, and a flotilla of cars, each packed with an impossible number of people, smiling and waving and shouting messages of good cheer to the watching spectators.
Toni bit back a smile when, at the baying of those in the procession, Federico, with false reluctance, stood on the terrace wall and began to serenade the crowd. The hairs on the back of her neck tingled as the crowd grew quiet, Federico’s rich baritone voice filling the night air. He sang his most famous song and soon the entire party and the crowd below were clapping and singing along.
Toni beamed. This was exactly what she needed. A brilliant distraction away from everything Ivo was stirring in her. Federico’s villa and gardens were jammed with exquisitely dressed guests, the noise levels from the chatter and music deafening. It was like an extreme version of any other party she had ever attended, more glamorous, noisier and spectacular in its excessiveness. Uniformed staff, who had an uncanny ability to anticipate her every need, were constantly topping up her champagne glass and the other guests were warm and welcoming. Federico, on learning that she was a friend of Alice’s, had introduced her to Alice’s new personal assistant, Carolina, who had taken her under her wing and had introduced her to a dizzying array of other guests. She was having an incredible night...she really was. She took a sip of champagne, stepping away from a group who had travelled from Madrid for the party to search the crowd. Ivo was standing up at the villa with another man, away from the bulk of the partygoers, who had crowded down to the parameter wall to watch the procession. Both men would occasionally glance towards the noise and activity but were preoccupied with whatever they were discussing.
She wanted to be with him. This party was amazing, everything she had thought she had wanted. But it wasn’t working...no amount of noise and laughter and distraction could hide the fact that she was denying yet again her true feelings. She had done it all of the time when she had been with Dan, papering over the cracks in their relationship by being too busy in work and their social life to ever have to face up to the problems between them. And since he had left her she had been doing the same, always busy, busy, busy, never allowing herself to exist in silence, never allowing herself to truly admit and accept the loneliness inside of herself.
She knew she should stay and enjoy the party. Revel in the chatter and good company of others. Have a few more drinks. Forget about everything that made her feel incomplete. Avoid the temptation to connect with Ivo, to know him better. Ignore the pull inside of her to tell him who she truly was. She should be sensible and stay.
But instead she walked up the garden steps. Waited until Ivo saw her. Her heart thumped as his eyes met hers, a charge running between them. She waited while he excused himself and made his way to her. She breathed deeply at his staggering beauty, her fingers itching to touch the silkiness of his hair, the hard lines of his face, her body alive to the smooth, agile movement of his body that promised so much in bed.
When he reached her he tilted his head in question. The sudden blaring of horns on the road had her reach up so to be heard and whisper into his ear, ‘Can we go home?’
* * *
The rib glided over the moonlit water, the sea air rushing against them a welcome break from the heat of the night. Toni had yet to explain why she had asked to leave and, given her silence, he wasn’t expecting an answer anytime soon. He glanced in her direction. Her gaze met his, a heavy beat of chemistry playing out between them. His eyes drifted down over her red wrap dress, her hand grabbing hold of the material to cover thighs exposed by the wind. Her feet were bare, her high-heeled silver sandals discarded. The dress highlighted every delicious curve, the sweet valley between her breasts, the swell of her bottom. What would happen when they reached San Jorbo?
Steering the boat off the path he had been following, he headed instead towards the faint lights in a cove to the east of Laredo. In answer to Toni’s quizzical look he said, ‘Let’s get a nightcap.’
Toni’s laughter was an echoing twinkle when the bar’s ancient jetty rocked as they leapt onto it. The clifftop bar was only accessible by water and as usual only a dozen or so locals were gathered there. He introduced Toni to Antonio and Dolores, the owners, requesting that they make her a Paradise City, which neither had heard of, enjoying the scene that followed as Antonio, who hadn’t altered the bar’s offerings in decades, grew more incredulous when Toni listed the ingredients. In the end Toni opted for the simpler order of a beer, just like him, and when they carried them out onto the terrace she gave
him an evil look, ‘I’ll get you back for that.’
He grinned. ‘I’ll look forward to it later.’
Her eyes widened and she darted for a free table overlooking the bay. Fairy lights were strung around the olive trees surrounding the terrace, candles flickering on each of the tables. From Antonio’s ancient gramophone the music of a flamenco guitarist drifted to blend with the sound of the breaking waves beneath them.
He spoke briefly to the other customers on the terrace, discussing the olive crop with Lidia, his neighbour, enquiring after Ignacio’s wife, who was in hospital, before joining Toni.
Toni watched Dolores bustle out onto the terrace to sit with Lidia, the women’s eyes immediately shifting to study them. ‘Why do I get the feeling we’re the hot topic of conversation?’ she asked.
He shrugged, the full consequence of what he had done suddenly dawning on him. ‘You’re the first woman I have ever brought here with me.’
‘You should have explained that I’m a journalist, that there’s nothing more to it than that.’
Shifting back in his seat, he studied her, watched as she drew her hair back and twisted its long length into a rope, the beauty of her eyes and mouth richer now that her hair wasn’t a distraction. ‘But then I’d be lying, wouldn’t I? Because there is more than that to our relationship.’
Toni frowned. ‘Why did you bring me here?’
He had thought it was simply to buy time, to cool that heat and desire burning through him. He didn’t want to rush them sleeping together. He wanted to be certain it was what she really wanted. But now he realised he had other motives too for bringing her here. ‘For a nightcap, but also for you to see where I like to go when I do sometimes go out.’ He gestured around the rustic bar, the low murmurs of the other customers, the lights of houses on the opposite side of the bay. ‘This is me. This is what I enjoy.’ He shrugged. ‘Some might consider it boring. Unglamorous. But it’s what makes me happy.’
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