Even in the beginning, when the show was a mere suggestion, he’d been bound and determined to keep his heart protected at all cost, but seeing the pain in her eyes…they’d been a mirror, and he’d seen himself.
The war between desperately trying to keep himself from getting hurt again and the intense longing of wanting to be loved was anguish. And not just loved by anyone anymore. Penelope. He wanted someone who could understand the grief of heartbreak holding his heart because she’d be gentle with it.
Despite all her blustering, underneath all the attitude, she was sweet. He had a feeling she was not only running from him to keep herself from getting hurt but also to keep from hurting him. A new experience for him for sure.
“Angus? Are you with us?” Vincent asked.
He blinked. “Aye, I’m here.” He smiled.
“Where were you just now?”
With a deep breath, he pushed the thoughts away so he could get through the interview without baring his soul on national television. “Nowhere as important as here.”
With a slight narrowing of his eyes, Vincent nodded. “So, you and Penelope. That little talk on the beach was interesting. Did you know she’d lost the crew to go have those drinks?”
Huh. She’d managed to lose the crew? Maybe he needed to get a few tips from her. Not that he needed to drink, but the break would be nice. “Naw. I had no idea, but the drinks didn’t agree with her. I hope she feels better in the morning.”
“Was she right? Did you have your heart broken? Is that the reason behind all the wild behavior?”
Yeah, she’d hit the target with those words. He didn’t want to answer this question. “I think everyone knows what happened.”
“Surely you’d been in love before. Everyone knows relationships end. We move on.”
“Aye, I should have. Instead…” he said and swallowed hard. “Guys, I’m tired. I’m done for the day.”
He didn’t wait for approval or a good evening. He just stood and went straight to his room. His flashlight of introspection seemed to burn a little more, and he wasn’t sure he could withstand the self-scrutiny anymore.
Chapter 23
For the second day in a row, Penelope didn’t set an alarm, and yet, she still woke up before anyone else. She did appreciate the solitude it gave her. That was the only thing that propelled her out of bed and into the kitchen.
Those drinks two nights before were still messing with her, making her feel off. Those were her first and last drinks. They tasted great, but the aftermath wasn’t worth it. That was the last time she’d ever do that. She’d never had drinks before, and she’d overcompensated for them, leaving her blood sugar low.
When she’d first found out she was type 1 diabetic, she balked at taking insulin. It took a few hospital stays and a threat from her mom for her to get on a schedule. It wasn’t the needles or the medicine. It was the dependency that killed her. She liked controlling her disease with food, or as much as she could. Part of the reason she took such a small amount of insulin was because of how regimented she was about what she ate and by learning how her body reacted to certain foods.
Normally, she made coffee last, but she needed caffeine almost as much as she needed breakfast. With it brewing while she cooked, she could enjoy the coffee with her food.
“Hey, Penelope,” Jeff said.
“Hey,” she mumbled.
“You doing okay?”
No. But Jeff didn’t need to hear about her problems. “I just need breakfast.”
Jeff poured himself a cup of coffee and sat at the bar. “I think I’d like to take you up on that omelet offer. Not today or while we’re in Hawaii, but maybe when we get back to Montana?”
“Sure. You’ll need to let Barb know I’ll need extra ingredients that day.”
“I’ll take care of it. Uh, would you mind making some for the entire crew?”
She half-heartedly chuckled. “No, I don’t mind. I’ll make you all one. Just make sure you have all the veggies you want.” The longer she waited to eat, the worse she felt.
“Okay, great!”
“What’s great?” asked Angus.
Penelope’s shoulders sagged. She did say she’d be his friend, so she needed to act like one.
Jeff tapped the counter with his finger. “I guess it’s time for me to get back to work. Talk to you later, Penelope.” He walked out of the kitchen with a wide grin.
Oh yeah, staying in her room the day before, she’d been given a reprieve from the filming. Maybe she needed to drink a little more…
“Are you feeling better today?” Angus stopped next to her and leaned his hip against the counter.
“I’d be lying if I said yes.” Why did he have to stand so close? And why did she care so much? She poured herself a little coffee, added some sugar, and chugged it. With no cream, it wasn’t her favorite way to drink it, but maybe it would help how she felt.
Angus looked at her curiously. “You drank that like a shot of Scotch.”
She didn’t like admitting she didn’t feel good to him, but it wasn’t as if she could hide it. “I’m a little shaky.”
“I was serious when I asked if I could help last night.”
“Why are you up so early? You haven’t been up this early in a while.”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe I wanted to talk to you.”
Penelope glanced at him. “Stop trying so hard. I told you, you win. We’re friends. I’ll make sure everyone knows you’ve changed.”
“But you don’t really believe that.”
She desperately wanted to believe it. Her heart galloped. She didn’t know if it was because of low blood sugar or Angus MacLachlan looming over her in a fitted t-shirt and pajama bottoms. Did he roll out of bed looking that good every day? Her thoughts lit up like dynamite at the thought of seeing his smile each morning.
For a moment, her vocabulary stayed just out of reach as she stared up at him.
She shook her head to clear the crazy thoughts. “I’ve already said we can be friends.”
“That’s not how…” Angus ran a hand through his hair and glanced around. When he spoke again, his voice was low. “You were right. I…my heart was broken. I let bad behavior destroy everything I’d worked for. This was all a big show to help my image. If I could go back and change it, I would, but I can’t. What do I have to do to convince you I want to be friends with no ulterior motive?” The piercing way he held her gaze and the intensity in his voice tugged at her.
He’s an actor! Her head and her heart were having a screaming match, and it was giving her a headache. After she’d missed so many things with Tom, it was hard to trust herself, but the sincerity in his voice was hard to ignore.
Penelope held his gaze. She was broken. What were a few more shards? “Okay, Angus. I would love to be your friend. I will do my best to keep an open mind and stop rushing to judgment.”
He gave her a smile that made her heart do a cartwheel.
“I’m wondering if you’re a good actor too,” Angus said.
“I’m not. I’m a horrible actor.” Except when she kept the whole truth about San Diego from Paige.
“Would you tell me about yourself?”
Penelope felt lightheaded but ignored it. “What do you want to know?”
“What’s your favorite color?”
She looked at him, puzzled.
“It’s a legitimate question.” He grinned.
“I tend to like beachy colors. My favorite is ocean-blue.”
“I like green,” he said, paying particular attention to her eyes.
Her hands shook as she picked up the knife to finish chopping vegetables. It slipped, and she sliced her thumb. “Ow!” Between her shaky hands and the sharp cutlery, she should have known better than to try to fix anything more than scrambled eggs.
Penelope reached around Angus, turned on the faucet, and stuck her hand under the water. Her blood sugar had dropped too low. “I should’ve stuck with something simp
le.”
Angus took her hand and pressed a towel to it. When she tried to pull away, he tightened his grip. “What’s your favorite movie?”
“Seahawk with Errol Flynn.”
“Black-and-white films?”
“Not necessarily black-and-white, just the era. Things were simple. The bad guys were easier to spot.” She glanced up. “What’s yours?”
“Anything with John Wayne, but my favorite is The Quiet Man.”
Penelope nodded, unsurprised by his answer. “I like that one too.”
“Favorite food?”
Her head hurt. She was hungry. And…he was…out of her league. “Why are you doing this? Why do you want to know all this stuff? In a few weeks, this show will be over, and we’ll never see each other again.” She tried to pull her hand free again, but he kept a firm hold on it.
Those brilliant blue eyes locked with hers. “Favorite food.”
She caught her bottom lip between her teeth. Why did he have to be so insufferable? And why did she like that he didn’t give up? “A good cheeseburger.”
“Anything my mum makes.”
The talk of food made her stomach grumble. “I need to eat.”
Angus’s eyebrows furrowed. “Hey, guys, she needs a bandage,” he said as he held her gaze. “I think your shaking has worsened. Hold that towel on the cut while I cook.”
She shook her head, and it made the room spin. “No.” Him cooking for her? She couldn’t let him do that. “I’m…” Penelope almost said “fine,” but that would’ve been a lie. In fact, she was far, far from fine. The little amount of sugar in her coffee had helped a little, but it wasn’t enough. The longer she went without something to eat, the dizzier and more confused she felt.
“Sit down, Penelope.” Angus pushed her down on a stool.
“I can cook my own food.”
“Do you want blood in it?”
Her stomach twisted at the thought, and she shook her head.
“I hear you need a bandage.” Jeff walked in carrying a first-aid kit. It took him only moments to get a bandage on her thumb.
“Thank you, Jeff,” she said.
He smiled and winked as turned to leave. “Anytime.”
She liked Jeff. He was funny and easy to be around. And she wasn’t attracted to him.
Angus cleared his throat and looked over his shoulder while he stirred the eggs. “Have you gotten to know him?” he asked, nodding toward the door Jeff had walked through.
“Mmmmm…yeah, a little. We talk in the morning while we drink coffee. Well, he drinks coffee. I drink coffee-flavored cream. He’s nice.” Penelope crossed her arms on the table. “You know, I’ve wanted to move to Scotland since I was little.”
Angus set a bowl of eggs in front of her and sat down on the stool next to her. “Why Scotland?”
“Thank you,” she said and took a bite. “I have no better reason than because it’s pretty.”
His lips twitched up. “Aye, but I’m biased.”
“There have been so many times I’ve thought about selling my business and moving there. Every time I thought I could, I…I couldn’t.”
“Why?”
Penelope gobbled down the rest of her food and slid the bowl away. As she closed her eyes, she stretched her arm out on the table and rested her head on it. The chill of the natural stone countertop seeped through her bathrobe.
She sighed. “After Tom…I couldn’t trust myself anymore. I made so many mistakes. I thought it would crush me if I made another one.”
Grogginess settled in her brain like a pea-soup fog, making everything hazy. She didn’t feel good, and this horrible dream she was having made her ache to the core. Dreams of Scotland, her failed relationship with Tom, and talking to Angus. And there were cameras directly in her face. Surely it had to be a dream; otherwise, she wouldn’t run her mouth so freely.
“Tom?” Angus asked.
“Yeah, he was good at pretending too. I was never good enough, though. He reminded me of that often.”
She peeled herself off the table, slid off the stool, and stood inches from him. The dream drifted from heartache and hurtful memories to longing as she let her gaze roam over his face. Those freckles, blue eyes so clear they were like mirrors, and lips as perfect as she any she’d ever seen.
His red hair demanded to be touched. Would it be as soft as her imagination pictured it?
She threaded her fingers through it, the silky texture sending goosebumps down her spine as he looked at her, wide-eyed. “You are the most beautiful man I have ever seen in my life.”
Her eyes slid shut as she breathed him in. Spicy nutmeg with hints of violet and mandarin orange made her wonder if he’d taste just as good as he smelled.
When she opened her eyes, those incredible ice-blue eyes locked with hers. She was transfixed. How he could look so rugged and polished at the same time mystified her.
As she threaded her fingers through the length of his hair again, she tilted her head. “I was so busy being afraid that I didn’t stop and really look at you. But I see you. I know what it’s like. To hurt. To ache so deeply that it feels like you’re being crumpled in someone’s hands. I lost everything too. I wish I could soothe that hurt for you.”
Her hand dropped to her side as she looked down at the floor and back up, unshed tears threatening to pour down her cheeks. “I feel like I’m going insane here. I don’t know what’s real and what’s not. All these cameras and knowing millions of people are watching me like I’m a novelty. Is this a dream? I’m so lost.” A lump formed in her throat as she choked out the last word.
A current of cold air raced down her spine, and she shivered from head to toe.
Angus stood. “Just stay right here. I’ll be back in a second with a blanket, okay?”
She nodded but immediately forgot what Angus said. The dream had ended, and her heart ached deeper than it had in years. Penelope trekked back to her room. This time, she set the alarm to wake her to eat in four hours. She needed to get her blood sugar stabilized before she made a bigger fool of herself.
Chapter 24
Angus cast his line into the ocean. Barb had scheduled a deep sea fishing date for him as a way to make up for the fishing date that had been cut short. It was fun, but he liked fly fishing better. She’d also given him a day off from interviewing. The last one had left him raw.
Standing a few feet away, Amber already had her line in the water. They’d had breakfast and then set out to spend the day on the open ocean. It was so much more relaxing than the aerial tour.
“This water is so pretty and inviting. Makes me want to dive right in,” she said, smiling brightly.
He nodded as he stuck his rod in the holder and sat back in the trolling chair. “I agree.”
So far, his day with Amber had been pretty good. She was a lot less aggressive than Zora. That was a plus all the way around.
But like Zora, Amber didn’t keep his thoughts from drifting to Penelope. When he’d seen her the morning before, she hadn’t felt well, and it was backed up by the way she’d behaved.
Her piercing green eyes had rooted him to his seat. When she’d finger-combed his hair, his breath had caught. It was a simple touch. One he’d experienced from many women over the years, but combined with her stare that went all the way through him, it had made his heart race like nothing before.
Angus had also been called beautiful before, but it wasn’t a side comment in the way she’d said it. Then she’d closed her eyes and taken a deep breath. It was like she was drinking him in, and it sent a thrill down to the pit of his stomach.
I see you. His breath had caught again. He’d learned over the last twenty years that people only saw what they wanted to see. Not her. Not with the way she stared at him. If she asked him what happened, he’d tell her. No one knew the real story, but he’d hand her his bare heart if she wanted it.
The vacuum of the moment died with her shiver. He’d stepped out of the kitchen to get her a blanket, a
nd when he’d stepped back in, she was gone. The last thing she said, the way she said it, still haunted him. I’m so lost. Those three words had made it difficult to sleep the night before. All he’d wanted to do was pull her to him and tell her it was okay.
The next time she’d made an appearance, she ate a quick bite and went right back to her room. It seemed she was keeping her distance again. His opinion of her had already begun to shift, but in the last two days, he was thinking about her in an entirely new way, and it hit him hard to think she might be back to hating him.
Amber waved her hand in front of his face. “Hi.”
Seagulls hovered in the air next to the boat as the sun reflected off the clear water. He held a hand up to shield his eyes while he answered her. “I’m sorry. It’s easy to get lost in thought out here.” And he wished Penelope was with him.
“Have you been deep sea fishing before?”
“A few times, but mostly I like it for the quiet.”
Amber stuck her rod in the holder of her chair and walked to him with her hands clasped behind her back. “You like it quiet?”
“You seem surprised.”
“I am. I mean, with all the parties and stuff you get invited to, I figured you’d love the noise.”
Angus shook his head. “I didn’t attend any of them until last year.”
“What happened?”
Like he’d tell her. Maybe if Penelope asked… “I let things get to me that I shouldn’t have.”
She tilted her head, pouting. “You aren’t going to tell me what really happened, huh?”
“To tell the truth, I don’t like talking about it. It feels like a bad dream, and I’m trying to move on.”
Amber nodded. “I guess I can understand that, but you really haven’t told me anything about yourself. What makes you, you?”
“What do you want to know?”
His mouth parted in surprise as she sat in his lap.
Mending The Billionaire Movie Star (MacLachlan Brothers Romance Book 1) Page 12