by Emilia Finn
“Yes,” I hiss and squeeze my eyes shut. “You feel so fucking good.” Reaching around, I wrap my arm around her hips and, taking her weight, I help her lift up to the very tip of my dick, then I slam her back down again until my orgasm threatens to embarrass me. “Fuck!”
“Jamie.” She uses her own strength, her thighs, her muscles, and glides back up to the tip of my dick, then she drops down and swallows me up until my lungs refuse to work. “I love you,” she whimpers and rides out her pleasure. “I know I’m an ass, and I know I’m more trouble than I’m worth, I know we’re not suited, and I know you deserve better, but—Oh god!” She drops back down again and swallows me up. “Fuck, but I love you.”
“I love you too.” I drag her face down, and slam my lips to hers until I swallow her cries. “I know shit is messy, but I love you so fuckin’ much.”
I bite her lip, her chin – and draw a stifled giggle from her when she realizes I finally got to bite that damn dimple. I nibble along her jaw, and take bites every single time she glides back to the base of my cock. I absorb every sensation that ricochets through my body, but I focus on her, on her tight pussy, on her racing heart, on her hungry hands. Because if I focus on me, I’m gonna come.
“I love you, Quinn. No matter how hard it gets, you’ll always have a home with me.”
“God.” I look up in time to catch sight of a tear squeezing past her lashes. Her hips slow, her hands turn gentler, and leaning against my chest, she keeps moving, but it’s calmer, kinder. “You just turned it from fucking to lovemaking,” she pants. “Still feels good.”
“Still feels good,” I echo and grip her ass until she hisses. “Still feels amazing.”
I push her back a few inches, and cup her face. I kiss her, and use her, I slam up inside her body, and when she comes on a cry, I swallow the sounds down and free myself to come too.
I free myself to love without worrying about tomorrow.
I free myself to love without being mad that it won’t work out for us.
Five minutes later, I carry her upstairs to my bed, gently lay her down – because I don’t want to hurt her shoulder – and sliding straight in, I show her how to make love. How it could be, if only we had forever.
Will
Yeah. Nope.
“Go inside.” I say it out loud, even as I sit in Jamie’s rental and tap the steering wheel. “Grab your shit. Tell her to stay put.” My tapping turns to thrumming. “Command her to stay, demand that she stay. Then you leave.”
My heart slams hard against my chest, because I’m about to undo something I’ve been doing for the entirety of my life. For twenty-three years, I’ve been my baby sister’s only caregiver, her only family, her only home. But there’s another now. A really good, safe, perfect family. And they want her. Jamie wants her, but more than that, so does his sister, his mother, his father. Sophia, Jay, all of the guys at Checkmate, and all of the folks at the gym. They’re a family, and they all want to welcome her in.
Up until now, I was the only person I trusted to do the right thing and keep her safe. But now this other family has come along, and they’re the real deal, they’re solid, and protective. They have enough money to keep her safe, and Sophia has the brains to neutralize any other enemy that might try to step forward.
Up until now, I was the best thing for Quinn.
But if I’m being completely honest, that’s no longer true.
I’m a danger for her, and keeping her with me is morally wrong.
It’s the wrong choice.
“Just go in, Will. Go inside, and tell her you have to leave.” My hand thrumming turns to drumming, to an impatient staccato as I chant it in my head. Go inside. Go inside. “Go inside! Fuck it.” I snatch the key from the ignition and shove the car door open. Then heading up the front porch, I let myself in and offer a hand for the growling dog as she guards her castle.
Giselle.
How bad would stealing a dog be on that scale of morality?
“Bad.” I shake my head and close the door. “It’s bad,” I repeat on a whisper.
The house is still lit up, despite it being past midnight. The kitchen is messy from cooking, and the living room is trashed. I take a single moment to wonder if there’s been a break-in, but then my stomach lurches when I catch sight of a pair of cut off shorts on the floor.
A shirt, on the arm of the couch.
My stomach rebels, and my brain screams for me to leave.
But I force the words past my lips. Just a whisper. A rehearsal. “You have to stay here, Bubbles. You have to stay safe.”
I move through the mess, glance at empty plates on the coffee table, the two beers beside them.
You have to stay here, Bubbles. You have to stay safe.
I look to the TV as it plays a vampire show with the volume turned down low, then I glance back to the dog. If dogs could smile, I’d swear this one is doing it. She’s telling me to stop looking. To bypass this entire room, and get the fuck out.
You have to stay here, Bubbles. You have to stay safe.
Then I step between the couch and the coffee table, and my foot catches on a bra. A black bra, with a little bit of glitter in the middle.
You have to stay here, Bubbles. You have to—
“Nope.” I spin away when I discover a pair of panties that sure as fuck ain’t Kincaid’s. “Nope, nope, nope, nope.”
I storm out of the room with a slam of my palm on the lightswitch as I pass. I turn the lights out in the kitchen, then the staircase. I pat my thigh for Giselle to follow, and when I pass what I assume is the main bedroom, and hear noises that my brain literally cannot process without risk of aneurysm, I move into the only bedroom with the door open. There, I find my bag on the bed, and a TV remote sitting right beside it.
I snatch it up fast, turn the TV on, and turning it up loud, I drown out the sounds of my sister crying out.
She’s… she’s…
I slam my hands to my eyes and try to push away the assault on my hearing.
Quinn
Grudges
Jamie and I walk downstairs together a little after seven a.m. The sun is up and already hot, so lying together, even so early in the morning, is just too warm and sweaty.
“I’m kinda starving.” I press our joined hands to my stomach, and grin when it rumbles. “See?”
At ease for the first time since he found me again, Jamie throws his arm over my shoulders, and tugs me in tight so we traverse the final two steps together. “Want eggs? I can scramble some for you.”
“And toast?”
“Sure.” He chuckles and leads me into the kitchen, only for us to stop at the sight of Will sitting at the counter.
His back is to us, his shoulders hunched, and though we make noise, he doesn’t turn as we enter.
“Will?” I leave Jamie’s side as he goes to the fridge, and slide onto the stool beside Will’s. “Hey.” I lean to my right, and bump my shoulder against his. For today, at least, I’m going to allow myself to be happy. To be free and in love. For today, everything is okay. “I didn’t hear you come in last night. Part of me worried the cop caught you staring at Liv.”
He smiles, but it’s almost silent, fake, unfeeling. “I went to this club in town for a minute.”
“Rhino’s?” Jamie sets a carton of eggs on the counter, and goes back to the fridge for milk. “They’ve been doing that place up over the last few years. It used to be a hotspot for STDs, according to every single person who’s ever been there. But when Smalls closed 188—”
“188?” My eyes come up. “Huh?”
“The building the tournament is hosted in…” Jamie snags a pan from a cupboard, and drops it on the stove. Then he grabs a mixing bowl and a fork. “That used to be a nightclub. It belonged to a gangster once upon a time, then it was passed down to his daughter.”
Will scowls. “His daughter, being…?”
“Smalls.” Jamie cracks the whole dozen eggs into the bowl, adds milk, cheese, and a
little onion, then he starts whipping. “Smalls’ biological father was a piece of shit, but he was a seriously wealthy piece of shit. From all the stories that have come down at the dinner table over the years, when I think about that dude now, I kinda picture McGrady’s face. Same vibe, if you get me.”
When Will only stares, and doesn’t acknowledge that he gets him, Jamie continues on.
“So her sperm donor was a rich motherfucker, and when he was busted and sent away, his wealth was passed onto his only living relative – or, well, we all thought she was the only one. Anyway. Smalls was set up with massive trust funds, the club was managed by our family over the years, but when she decided to start Stacked Deck, she figured the club should get a new life. Out with the old, in with the new.”
“Being rich sounds so convenient.” I smile when Jamie’s laughing eyes flick to me. “She was all, I’ve got this massive club going to waste. May as well gut a perfectly profitable business, and risk it all on something that a lesser person couldn’t pull off.”
“Yeah, well.” Jamie turns away and shrugs. “That’s Smalls for you. She’s gutsy, and figures if it ain’t scary, then it probably isn’t worth her time. Anyway.” He begins pouring the egg mix into the hot pan. “All that to say, both clubs have been in town a long time, but until 188 closed its doors, Rhino’s was a petri dish of filth. Once business started picking up, and the business changed hands to the original owners’ kids, they cleaned it up, and now there’s somewhere decent to drink on the weekends if you were so inclined to look at all the titties.”
“Charming,” I drawl and pat Giselle’s ears when she finally decides I’m approach-worthy. I turn to Will while Jamie makes himself busy at the coffee machine. “What time did you get in last night? I didn’t hear you come up the stairs.”
He shrugs and manages to avoid my eyes. “Dunno. Little after midnight, maybe. I went to bed, and was out pretty quick.”
“Did you, uh…” I turn and look back to the living room, to the clothes I remember now that I left in there. “Did you have to switch the lights out on the way through? I don’t remember if we left them on.”
“Nope. You got ‘em.” He looks anywhere but at me. “What are you guys up to today?”
I accept a mug of coffee with a smile when Jamie slides it along the counter to stop in front of me. “I don’t have an actual job anymore,” I say, “and the kids at Matt’s have probably already moved on. So… I’m free to do whatever I want.”
“Which is?” Will turns to me and lifts a brow.
“I think I’ll go to the studio and hang out with Soph and Lucy. I had a lot of fun yesterday, and they didn’t ask me to stay away, so…” I shrug and turn to Jamie. “What are you doing today?”
“I might head to the gym. Train a little bit, see Andi about my shoulder.” He looks to Will. “You could probably come if you want. When was the last time you actually got to spar?”
Will scoffs and steals my coffee when Jamie doesn’t make a second mug. “About four and a half years ago, I think. Thereabouts.”
Jamie furrows his brows. “When was the last time you trained at all?”
“Like, worked out? Elevated my heart rate?”
Jamie nods.
“Every day. I do my own thing in my own neighborhood, but that’s for my own sanity at this point. I have no tournaments to fight in, no gym to claim membership in.”
“You still have the mass.”
When the eggs smell done, Jamie flips the heat off, grabs three plates from the shelves above his head, then setting them on the counter, he divvies the eggs up onto each plate.
“You’re still light on your feet,” he says to Will, “you didn’t get fat.”
“Thanks for your evaluation, Kincaid. Wanna stop looking at me now?”
He snorts. “You could probably work up to Stacked Deck for this year if you put in the time. It’s still a few months away, and I’ll comp your fees. I can’t fight this year because of my shoulder, and I have no fighter anymore anyway. I could work with you, get you ready.”
“Yeah?” Will snatches a fork from the counter the second Jamie sets three out, and digs into his eggs. “Thanks for the offer, coach, but you might be forgetting the bit about us being in hiding.”
“Soph gave you guys new IDs. You’re actually kinda free to do whatever the fuck you want. And you.” He looks to me. “I’m gonna make an appointment for your shoulder. You need scans, and then probably surgery to fix that shit up.”
“Uh… no. I’m good.” I take my fork, and begin eating. “I’m not saying Soph isn’t competent,” – learned that lesson yesterday – “but I’d really rather not go into surgery, as in unconscious, and risk having that ID bounce back at a really inopportune time. Kind of a massive fear for me, so… Firm no, but thanks.”
“So you’re gonna go the rest of your life with a bum shoulder?” Jamie questions. “It’s dead, Q. You can’t use it, and without your arm, you won’t be able to dance. You’re barely managing! You wanna choreograph, but choreography is about showing the other dancers how to do it, right? Leading by example, doing the moves yourself. If you can’t do them, you can’t teach them. And if you can’t teach them, then what are you gonna do with your life, huh? You still have a few years before you get old.” He leans across the counter, and smacks a dry kiss to my lips. “Or you could become a housewife. I could get into that. You only need one hand to load and unload a dishwasher.”
I turn my fork around and point it at his face. “Back up out of my space, Kincaid, or I’ll stab the eyeballs right out of your damn head.”
Snorting, he goes back to his side of the counter and works through his eggs. “I know surgery is scary, but you need that arm looked at, Q. You can’t leave it like that.”
“Next week,” I lie. “So you guys are going to the gym, and I’ll go to the studio? Sounds perfect.”
“You can borrow the rental if you want.” Will nods toward a set of keys hanging on the wall. “Did Soph’s fake IDs come with driver’s licenses?”
Jamie shrugs. “Probably. She’s usually pretty thorough.” Then he looks at me. “Can you drive?”
“Soph said yesterday she did the IDs and stuff. And yes, of course I can drive. What do you think this is?”
“We just drove for nearly four days straight! You didn’t once offer to take a shift so I could rest?”
I snort. “You didn’t ask, and I was busy beating you up, so…”
“Pain in my ass,” he huffs.
After finishing breakfast, and tossing the dishes into the dishwasher – Will loaded the dishwasher, not me – I head upstairs and into the shower. Minutes later, I sit on the end of Jamie’s bed and search through my Ellie Solomon bag. My leotard is here, my shoes, my jacket, even though it’s summer. There are a billion half-used rolls of tape in here, and a set of keys to Matt’s Meat – oops. My water bottle sits in the bottom of the bag, mostly empty and a little musty-smelling, so I make a note to toss it into the dishwasher tonight.
When the shower goes on down the hall, I stand from the bed and drop my towel. Stepping into my leotard, and using only one arm to get it up, I glance across to the door when it opens, and Jamie stops with a jolt.
He stares at my boobs, unable to look away, unable to process anything else going on around him. The house could catch fire, and I’m not sure he’d notice.
He swallows, and sends his Adam’s apple bobbing as I shimmy the material up. At the very last second, I bring it over my chest and break the electrical current that runs between me and this man.
“You probably owe me a fifty now.” I go to another bag, and rifle through in search of shorts. “Ya know, for that peep show.” I stop and wait for his eyes. “Jamie?”
“Mm?” He licks his lips and slowly drags his gaze away from my body. “You say something?”
“Yeah, I said touch me.”
His eyes snap to mine. “Really?”
He steamrolls forward until his hardened cock pre
sses against my belly, and his arm wraps around my hips. The door is closed, so I let him feast for a moment. His lips cruise along my neck, my jaw, then he folds his body, and presses biting kisses to my collarbone.
This is how it could be if we had forever.
I could be heading to a dance studio each morning, and he would be heading to the gym. I would be pulling a leotard on after a warm shower, and he wouldn’t be able to control the hunger he has for me.
Some mornings, we could save a little water, and shower together. It would be the environmentally correct thing to do.
“I’m gonna break away from the gym after a couple hours,” he breathes against my skin, bites, then kisses the spot to take away the sting. “Wanna hang out with me somewhere no one will see us?”
“Yeah.” I reach up and wrap my good arm around his shoulders. My spine bows, and my toes take most of my weight, but Jamie’s lips on mine feel like… well, a fizz. “Yeah, we can get cheeseburgers and dance, if you wanna.”
“I can’t fucking wait,” he groans. His hand goes to my ass, and squeezes so tight that I hiss, but he’s not sorry. Not even a little bit. “Last night…”
“Felt good,” I reply with a smile. “Really good.”
“No regrets?”
I pull back, and look into his eyes. I hold his heart in my hands; his feelings are mine to nurture, or to smash. “No regrets. Never any regrets when I spend my time with you.”
“Mm.” With a smile on his face, he dives back in and buries his lips against my throat. “Dancing and cheeseburgers around eleven,” he murmurs against my skin. “Then dinner tonight, and after that—”
“We’ll come back in here,” I rasp out. “Get value for your money and all that.”
“My money?”
I snicker. “The fifty bucks you owe me for the peep show.”
“Oh, yeah. I’m gonna need to see more for fifty.” He opens his mouth wide, and latches onto my neck until I throw my head back, and my knees buckle.