by Tim Ferguson
There are four kinds of synecdoche open to exploitation by the humorist.
1. A part is named but the whole is understood:
‘Eyeballs’ meaning TV viewers.
‘Bums on seats’ meaning audience numbers.
Example: ‘The boss said we need more bums on seats. I’ll sit down
while you go to the park and get the bums.’
2. The whole is named but a part is understood:
‘9-11’ meaning September 9, 2001.
‘India beat England’ meaning eleven cricketers beat eleven other cricketers.
Example: ‘If India had known they could beat England with a cricket bat, they wouldn’t have bothered with Gandhi’s independence movement’.
3. The general is named but the specific is understood:
‘Grog’ meaning beer rather than beer, wine and spirits.
‘Cats’ meaning domestic cats rather than the genus that includes lions, tigers, cougars and so forth.
Example: ‘They say cats don’t like their owners. But I saw a tiger eat a zookeeper’.
4. The specific is named but the general is understood:
‘Hands’ meaning sailors (‘All hands on deck’)
‘Football’ meaning the game, the players and fans as well as the ball itself.
For example, ‘I used to like a bit of football at lunchtime, but it gave me indigestion. Too leathery’.
Malapropisms and Misinterpretations
These gags are the pun’s mad aunties. They play upon a character’s misuse or misunderstanding of a word or phrase due to its similarity or connection to the intended word or phrase. Malapropisms, however, are always unintentional. An intentional malapropism is simply a pun—for instance, an architect remarking archly, ‘This house is like the Taj Banal’. Malapropisms derive their humour in part from the assumed ignorance of the speaker. The same line ‘This house is like the Taj Banal’ becomes funnier when delivered sincerely by a character who genuinely wants to compliment the owner.
Malapropisms and misinterpretations work best when the meaning of the misused word or phrase is markedly at odds with that of the intended word or phrase. The actual meaning can be used to illuminate an aspect of situation or character.
In narrative comedy malapropisms and misinterpretations are usually the territory of dim-witted, clownish characters. Comic Freudian slips however are malapropisms that can expose even intelligent characters (e.g. ‘I need to coerce, uh, I mean converse with you’).
MALAPROPISMS
These involve the misuse of a word, usually because it sounds similar to the intended word. Malapropisms often point to a higher truth about the character uttering them or the intended subject matter itself.
KIM: I want to be effluent, Mum, effluent!
—Kath and Kim (‘Sex’ by Gina Riley and Jane Turner)
Malapropisms from radio comedienne Jane Ace include:
I’m completely uninhabited.
I don’t drink. I’m a totalitarian.
You could have knocked me down with a fender.
—Jane Ace
(Headline): Cheap Carpet Manufacturer Accused of Being Underlying Bastard
—Paul Livingston
EXERCISE
A malapropism requires a word that bears some phonetic similarity, even tenuously, to the word intended by your character. Changing one word only, find a malapropism for the following expressions:
‘One percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration—’
‘Going at it hammer and tongs—’
‘Pecuniary fund—’
‘Struck by cupid’s arrow—’
‘To move with alacrity’
The first malapropism that comes to mind is often the best, as it tends to draw a clear connection for the audience.
MISINTERPRETATIONS
Misinterpretations occur when a character shows by their response that they’ve misunderstood the meaning of a word or phrase.
MONICA: Hey Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?
JOEY: Probably kill myself.
MONICA: Excuse me?
JOEY: (indicating his penis) If little Joey’s dead, then I’ve got no reason to live.
ROSS: Joey, om-nipotent.
JOEY: You are? I’m so sorry.
—Friends (‘The One With George Stephanopoulos’ by Alexa Junge)
VIDEO STORE GUY: What about Silence of the Lambs?
COLIN: Nah, I’m not really into nature films.
—The Adventures of Lano and Woodley (Colin Lane and Frank Woodley)
KIM reveals a statue of baby Edam cheeses.
KIM: Here’s your statue, Mum.
KATH: Oh, what in the love of God is that?
KIM: It’s the statue you wanted.
KATH: No, it’s not, Kim!
KIM: Yes it is, it’s a statue of little baby cheeses.
KATH: Little baby cheeses? Little Baby Jesus, Kim—Jesus!
—Kath and Kim (‘The Wedding’ by Gina Riley and Jane Turner)
Unlike malapropisms, a character can deliberately misinterpret a line. In the following, Andy has just spoken to Ben Stiller, playing himself, out of turn.
STILLER: Who are you?
ANDY: (meekly) Nobody.
STILLER: … And who am I?
ANDY: It’s either Starsky or Hutch, I can never remember.
STILLER: (angrily) Was that supposed to be funny?
ANDY: You tell me, you were in it.
—Extras (‘Episode 2’ by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant)
Andy deliberately and rudely misinterprets what it was that was ‘supposed to be funny’.
Misinterpretations can be targeted by others to make a specific point:
(Football coach) Ally McLeod thinks tactics are a new kind of mint.
—Billy Connolly
She’s so dumb she thinks colic is a kind of sheep dog.
—Unattrib.
EXERCISE
Given the characteristic mentioned, complete each line with a misinterpretation:
Example: She’s so innocent, she thinks a ‘dildo’ is a hobbit.
He’s so dumb he thinks an ‘IQ’ is …
She’s so lascivious she thinks a ‘square root’ is …
He’s so out of touch he thinks ‘J-Lo’ is …
She’s so selfish she thinks the ‘Poor Box’ is …
He’s so square he thinks the ‘Lambada’ is …
Filtering misinterpretations through the broadly accepted characteristics of an archetype (a stereotypical character—see ‘Archetypes’) can generate deliberate misinterpretation gags.
1. List terms, beliefs, names, songs or phrases associated with the archetype.
2. Drawing on the commontraits you’ve listed, write misinterpretations the character or archetype might deliberately employ for each.
Try it with the biggest ‘kick me’ target of all: lawyers. Their archetypical traits include greed, deceitfulness, heartlessness, soullessness, private-schooling, cocaine, amorality and wig-wearing. These qualities make them worthy of playful misrepresentation (see ‘merciless ridicule’).
Below is a selective list of terms and phrases associated with lawyers and the law. Write misinterpretations for each, e.g. ‘pro bono’ to a lawyer could mean ‘free publicity’. When you’re finished, write down and then ‘re-interpret’ a few more lawyer-based terms of your own.
When lawyers say: They mean:
Hostile witness
Memorandum
Criminal lawyer
The Bar exam
BMW
Misinterpretation gags can also derive from a character’s flawed view of events:
In my local paper, they had this advert: ‘Please look after your neighbours in the cold weather’. I live next door to this 84-year-old woman and, do you know, not once has she come round to see if I’m alright. The lazy cow hasn’t even taken her milk in for a fortnight.
—Jack Dee
Smartness
runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
—Gracie Allen
Documentarist Michael Moore, accepting an Academy Award for his film Bowling for Columbine, took the opportunity to criticise President George W. Bush for taking America into the Iraq War. This provoked the following comment from Steve Martin:
It was so sweet backstage, you should’ve seen it—the Teamsters were helping Michael Moore into the trunk of his limo.
The Completely Obvious
This principle is so obvious—why didn’t we see it before?
It’s not that we immediately crack up at all obvious things—if we did, we’d never get out of the shower—but humans are clever creatures; when presented with a scenario, our minds can devise any number of rationales that might support it. As is often the case in real life, we can think too hard about things. Standing back for a clearer perspective is not as easy or natural as it sounds. While we wrestle with the details and possibilities of a scenario, an obvious gag slaps us in the face.
Obvious gags can have punchlines that are true but subvert our expectation of something more elaborate. Perhaps the best example is the first joke many people can remember:
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.
—Unattrib.
But an obvious gag doesn’t have to be a childish one.
My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in customs.
—Patrick Monahan
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
—Spike Milligan
I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was ‘Shout for help’.
—Mark Watson
There are jokes in this category known as ‘anti-comedy’. Their punchlines, though salient, are darker than expected. The comedy derives in part from sheer daring. To write these gags, simply think of a question or premise and provide a response that’s accurate, awful and blunt:
Q: Why do kittens go to heaven?
A: Because they’re dead.
—Unattrib.
EXERCISE
Here are some set-ups that suggest elaborate detail is to come. Tag them with simple, obvious-once-you-think-about-it observations, for example: There are ten ways to start a Russian motor vehicle … but none of them work.
The secret to a happy life is …
Married people have the best sex …
The best way to get off a deserted island is …
Obvious punchlines identify anomalies that are plain once we notice them.
The conclusion drawn in the punchline of such a gag is usually nonsense or built upon incomplete logic. Often, these gags will take the form of a question to which there is no short or accurate answer.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
—Unattrib.
If you choke a Smurf, what colour would he turn into?
—Unattrib.
Vegetarians tend to be the same touchy-feely bunch who go on about the environment. Well, maybe there’d be more environment if you lot weren’t eating all the plants.
—Harry Hill
To generate these gags, think of terms, phrases or concepts that imply an assumption (e.g. ‘We are here to help others’). Then examine this premise from all angles until you can kick the legs out from under it (e.g. ‘So, what are the others here for?’) Sometimes this means taking an idea (e.g. ‘invisible ink’) to its illogical conclusion (e.g. ‘How can you tell when you’ve run out of it?’)
Knock-knock jokes are obvious gags. The answer is under our noses, only appearing when the context of the key word is changed.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Isabel.
Isabel who?
Isabel necessary on a bicycle?
—Unattrib.
Knock-knocks usually fail to get much of a laugh because there’s only one element that is transformed, reducing the surprise to a blip. In the postmodern world, knock-knock jokes have a better chance when the form of knock-knocks themselves is being played with:
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrup-
Moo!
—Unattrib.
As discussed in the introduction to the ‘Gag Categories’ chapter, knock-knocks work better for adults when they take on a darker hue:
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Fuck off.
Fuck off who?
Don’t make me tell you twice.
Now, that’s much more adult, isn’t it?
Other obvious gags may be logically sound but morally dark, unfair or politically incorrect:
I’m sick and tired of seeing streakers at sporting events. I believe the true punishment for streakers at the cricket is to make them stay on the ground and bat.
—Elliot Goblet
Short people make better astronauts because if they die, there’s less to be sad about.
—Author
Is it fair to say that there’d be less litter in Britain if blind people were given pointed sticks?
—Adam Bloom
To write these jokes:
Begin with a premise.
Examine the premise for double-meanings, associations and similarities, or contexts in which the premise could be in/appropriate.
Take the premise to a logical or nonsensical extreme. What is the implied assumption of the premise? What are the limitations of the premise? What are the repercussions of the premise? What would happen if anyone, everyone or no-one acted on the premise?
Based on the logical or nonsensical extreme, devise a punchline that is morally dark or politically incorrect.
EXERCISE
Using this technique, devise your own joke based on the premises below:
Example: The best thing about only having one testicle is … you can only get someone half-pregnant.
Cats use their tongues to clean themselves …
John Lennon said, ‘All you need is love’ …
Terrorist martyrs spend eternity with seventy-six virgins …
Once you’ve had a shot at the set-ups above, devise some of your own. The most useful set-ups tend to have two or more elements (e.g. ‘guns’ and ‘killing people’) because this gives you more to play with. Figures of speech, platitudes and axioms are often good material.
Identifiable social groups, however unfairly, are fertile soil for these gags. For example, short people are a perfect target for comedy, if only because so many take their height deficiency so seriously. (If you’re short, and you’re rankled at this suggestion, then … case in point.)
Not every set-up will present a punchline for every writer. And sometimes the punchlines that come to mind may be too distasteful for you or your intended audience. If you get stuck, move on to your next set-up.
More possible jokes will appear when you add to the set-up line (e.g. ‘A recent survey said …’, ‘I hate the fact that …’, ‘My Mum always warned me that …’), pose it as a question or even turn it into an equation (e.g. ‘If “x” is so, then “y” must be …’) The more you play with it, the more the possibilities open up.
Simply using the contradictions in the premise can be enough in itself. As in ‘Self-referential Gags’ (see Chapter One), a statement can be taken to a logical conclusion, whereupon it negates or absurdly confirms itself.
An original idea. That can’t be too hard. The library must be full of them.
—Stephen Fry
The world is a dark, depressing place. See? I just made it worse.
—Author
I’ve decided to give up being a comedian. (Pause.) What are you waiting for? There’s no punchline.
—Author
I saw a sign saying ‘Question everything!’ Or did I?
—Author
To write
an obvious gag that negates its own premise:
Devise a simple statement, preferably an observation, personal prejudice or declaration of intent, e.g. ‘I don’t like Mondays’.
Taking the statement at face value, try to establish the reasoning behind the statement and all its direct consequences, e.g. What are the possible reasons for, or consequences of, not liking Mondays? A reason might be their regularity. A consequence might be that Mondays don’t like you either.
Write a tag that exploits the exposed contradictions. The more absurd the better, e.g. ‘I used to like Mondays, but then they started coming round all the time. I need space!’ Or, ‘I don’t like Mondays. And they’re not talking to me either.’
Tangential thinking is required. In the examples above Monday takes on human characteristics.
EXERCISE
Here are some set-ups to get you started:
The best marriages are arranged marriages …
I bought a sawn-off shotgun …
Let me offer a word to the wise …
Obvious punchlines can be consistent with the premise, but still inadequate or absurd:
To stop global warming, leave your refrigerator door open at all times.
—Author
If a small child is choking on an ice-cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down its throat and, hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.
—Dava Krause
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
—Steven Wright
The steps to whip up consistent-but-absurd gags:
Take a simple proposition. It might be: • A truism (e.g. ‘The bigger they are, the harder they fall’)
• A common event (e.g. a christening, the full moon)
• A popular belief (e.g. Honesty is the best policy)
• A law (e.g. regulations governing vagrancy or traffic violations)
Example: Take the popular belief, ‘God is everywhere’.
Accepting the truth of the proposition, how should the world therefore behave? For example, If you’re God, there’s nothing new. Ever.
Follow the question to its logical or extreme conclusion. For example, If He’s everywhere, where does He go to get away from it all? And how does He look down at us if He’s under us too?