by Tim Ferguson
Conversely, what if we’re accused of something and we are innocent? The facts are no help with someone who’s made up their mind we’re guilty.
Here, the detective has already decided Karl is guilty. No matter how solid his story may be, the detective twists Karl’s words to suit his prejudice.
KARL: Listen, I just gave him a glass of milk.
DETECTIVE: Without asking if he was lactose intolerant? You scum.
KARL: We were just having breakfast as usual.
DETECTIVE: Nice of you to give him a last meal. What do you do when you’re not killing your friends?
KARL: I teach biology at uni. Sort of an animal lecturer.
DETECTIVE: Did you say you’re like Hannibal Lecter?
KARL: Look, I loved him. I gave him a kiss and the next thing I knew, he was dead.
DETECTIVE: That’s what Judas said.
EXERCISE
In the following, Dick distorts Bob’s admission in order to defend him:
BOB: I got sacked for having sex at the office Christmas party.
DICK: They should be sacked for not having sex at the Christmas party.
Provide Dick’s distorting responses as he tries to defend BOB:
BOB: I smashed the photocopier.
BOB: Then I got caught piddling in the pot plants.
BOB: I got drunk and called our biggest client a ‘total knob’.
In the following, Barbara negatively distorts Bob’s compliments:
BOB: I love you like crazy.
BARBARA: So you have to be crazy to love me?
Provide Barbara’s responses as she negatively distorts Bob’s compliments:
BOB: You’re as sexy as anything!
BOB: Anyway, I like something to grab a hold of.
BOB: Darling, I love every inch of you.
A good way to ensure a character’s distortion survives scrutiny is to constantly shift the angle of defence or attack so that the other characters have no time to dwell on a distortion that would otherwise quickly unravel. Furthermore, shifting the focus to other aspects of the story invites new distortions, elaborating the joke.
RUNNING GAGS
A running gag is essentially a repeated narrative gag. In sitcom, these gags often comprise a minor story or a tag for a succession of situations in an episode.
They often occur when a character encounters the same reaction from a number of other people. Normally, the reaction doesn’t please or help the character, even though it may be entirely innocent.
INT. BOB’S OFFICE. DAY.
BOB has a new bushy haircut of which he is proud.
TINA: Gee, Bob, you look like Krusty the Clown.
INT. THE HALLWAY. DAY.
BOB is at the water cooler.
JUDY: Please come to my party, Bob. Karl’s coming dressed as Sideshow Bob so you’ll make a perfect pair.
INT. JUDY ’S HOUSE. NIGHT.
The party. KARL, dressed as Sideshow Bob, sees BOB, dressed normally. KARL gives BOB a thumbs up and a wink. BOB is distraught.
EXT. JUDY ’S HOUSE—THE POOL. NIGHT.
A bunch of kids run up to BOB and stare at him expectantly. BOB sighs, rolls his eyes and does a Krusty The Clown laugh.
BOB: Hi kids!
The kids applaud, thrilled. BOB is miserable.
Ideally, the running gag inadvertently comes to the rescue of, or finally condemns, the victim of the gag. Here, Bob’s bad haircut comes to his rescue:
BOB, his hair restored to normal, sits nervously in the courtroom.
NEIGHBOUR: Your Honour, I saw the whole thing. The shooting took place right in front of me.
BOB quakes as he waits for the NEIGHBOUR to identify him.
JUDGE: And who was the criminal?
NEIGHBOUR: Krusty The Clown.
Here, the running gag resolves to Bob’s detriment:
BOB: Do you think I look like Krusty?
BARBARA: No. You look like someone who wants to look like Krusty.
BOB: You’ll get used to it. Gimme a kiss.
BARBARA: Gimme a divorce.
Long-Running Gags
A gag can appear once each week, each time with a different spin. The ever-changing trumpet blast by Gonzo in the Muppet Show intro is a good example. A longer-form version of a repeating gag can be found at the end of each episode of The Vicar of Dibley when the Vicar tells a rude joke to her young friend Alice who never gets it.
Get Smart features several gags that appeared on an almost weekly basis. While the particulars of each joke changed, the framework remained the same. Maxwell Smart often back-pedals from a lie that isn’t working and introduces a lesser lie with, ‘Would you believe … ?’ When that doesn’t work, Max resorts to a lie that is so feeble it could never have the effect intended in his original lie.
MAX: At the moment, seven Coast Guard cutters are converging on us …
MR BIG: I find that hard to believe.
MAX: Would you believe six?
MR BIG: I don’t think so.
MAX: How about two cops in a row boat?
—(‘Mr Big’ by Mel Brooks and Buck Henry)
Another regular Get Smart gag features Max insisting upon the literal meaning of his own words:
MAX: Don’t tell me (… some undesirable news)
An ally confirms the undesirable news.
MAX: I asked you not to tell me that!
CATCHPHRASES
A catchphrase is a line that appears regularly throughout a series. Most catchphrases are delivered by a particular character or characters and say something about their personality or outlook.
The common factor in successful catchphrases is versatility. They can be readily used in everyday life in a variety of situations. How many times have you adopted Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Austrian accent to tell someone, ‘I’ll be back’? On the other hand, it would be hard to find myriad appropriate contexts for the more specific ‘Whoops, me nuts are totally squished!’, no matter how funny it might appear. Without regular opportunities to use it, the phrase has little chance of catching on.
To introduce a catchphrase, apply the magical number three. Pop it into an episode three times in different contexts and, hey presto, you’ve launched your catchphrase.
‘Noice.’ (‘Nice’)
—Kath and Kim
‘Yeah, baby!’
—Austin Powers
‘Yo, chicky-babe!’
—Wayne Lovett in All Together Now
‘D’oh!’
—Homer Simpson
‘Bewdiful!’
—Con The Fruiterer in The Comedy Company
Though catchphrases are often disparaged as cheap laughs, they work like a wheel. When catchphrases were parodied in Extras by repeating them ad nauseum, even the parodied catchphrases (e.g. ‘Are you ’avin’ a laff ?’) caught on. This worked beautifully for writers Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant—they gave the impression they were above such tricks while still reaping the reward.
Imperatives of Narrative Jokes
Just because it’s funny doesn’t justify its inclusion in the script.
In drama, every scene, beat of action or line of dialogue must perform at least one of four story functions: it must drive the story, reveal character, confirm the situation or offer a new perspective. In narrative comedy, the same is demanded of every joke in the show.
There are no exceptions to this rule.
A joke or gag is any event or dialogue that’s specifically designed to inspire laughter—as opposed to a character whose personality remains a constant amusement. But unless it also meets at least one of the four story functions, even a genuinely funny joke will come across at best as irrelevant. At worst, it will break the flow of the action and undercut carefully established characterisation. While a joke that meets all four story functions is ideal, only one of the following functions needs to be fulfilled for the joke to justify its place in a script.
DRIVING THE STORY
In a comedy script,
every joke is part of the story, so it’s important that like other parts of the story, the jokes pull their weight narratively. An example of a gag that moves the story might be a negation in which after a character insists the situation is stable, the stakes are immediately raised. The transition from ‘We’re safe!’ to ‘We’re in trouble!’ is a story-moving gag.
Whether it starts trouble, deepens it, complicates or resolves it, a gag moves the action when it causes a degree of change in the fortunes of the characters. The confirmation of the stakes (i.e. ‘You’re right, we are definitely in trouble!’) can also advance the story if at least one character becomes aware of their plight.
The following excerpt from Men Behaving Badly features a gag that raises the stakes when Deb’s mum appears at the wrong moment. The poor lads then try a deliberate misinterpretation to rescue the situation:
TONY and GARY call out to JONATHAN as he leaves.
TONY: And just remember, eat plenty of celery!
GARY: And help old ladies across the street!
TONY: Yeah, except Deb’s mum!
GARY: Yeah, except Deb’s mum!
DEB’S MUM appears.
TONY: Because she’ s not old!
GARY: Not old.
TONY: Not in the slightest.
GARY: In any way.
TONY: At all.
—Men Behaving Badly (‘Ten’ by Simon Nye)
SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THE CHARACTERS
Gags can reveal the qualities of new characters. Eldin Bernecky in Murphy Brown reveals his self-confidence and disregard for social niceties on his first appearance in the series: Murphy is dancing in her living room, unaware there is a total stranger behind her. Eldin watches with bemusement when a bashful interruption of Murphy’s embarrassing dance would be more appropriate. Murphy’s embarrassment and this strange man’s attitude both get a laugh (‘Respect’ by Diane English).
Most of the time, however, sitcom audiences know the regular characters’ qualities, so the gags are not so much character-revealing as character-displaying . The characters are familiar and we enjoy simply seeing them at work. A line that would be just a sentence if spoken by another character is given dimension and context when spoken by a character that the line typifies.
While on her way to a funeral, the thrifty Maggie in Mother and Son, stops the procession so she can buy some cheap oranges from a roadside vendor. Clutching the bag of oranges she insists to her son, ‘These were a bargain, Arthur, and I’m not letting them go’ (‘The Funeral’by Geoffrey Atherden).
When Frances O’Brien is told her daughter is to be expelled from school due to a ‘three strikes and you’re out’ policy, she daintily responds, ‘… I thought that was a bit American. It should be “six and out”, surely. Our country, our rules.’ Knowing Frances and her Australia-first attitudes gives this line a comic boost (The Librarians, ‘My Rock’ by Robyn Butler and Wayne Hope).
Character-displaying jokes can be delivered by one character but designed to reveal an aspect of another character. In this next gag, the aged and irascible Sophia from The Golden Girls gives her view on the man-hungry Blanche:
BLANCHE: My whole life is an open book.
SOPHIA: Your whole life is an open blouse.
—The Golden Girls (‘The Truth Will Out [a.k.a ‘The Will’] by Susan Beavers)
A narrative gag can feature a group of characters revealing themselves at once:
MICHAEL: Okay, guys, um … they are going to keep Dad in prison until this gets sorted out. Also, the attorney said that they are going to have to put a halt on the company’s expense account.
The others gasp.
MICHAEL: Interesting. I would’ve expected that after ‘They’re keeping Dad in jail’.
—Arrested Development (‘Pilot’ by Mitchell Hurwitz)
SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THE SITUATION
A gag can directly sum up a situation. When a shamefaced Paul in Daas Kapital enters Rich’s bedroom with a bucketful of tennis balls as a token of apology, Rich growls darkly, ‘You’ve got a lot of balls coming back here’. Rich has summed up the situation literally and figuratively (‘Faith’ by Richard Fidler, Paul McDermott and the author).
A gag can illuminate the plight of a character. In Blackadder Goes Forth when Baldrick mentions that he burned his cat to stay warm, we get a strong impression of his desperate life in the trenches of World War I (‘Captain Cook’ by Richard Curtis and Ben Elton).
A change of context immediately casts a new light on a situation, pointing out an aspect we may not have noticed or illuminating a larger truth implied by the scene. When Murphy dances alone in her home, the sudden presence of Eldin Bernecky changes her dance from a joyful moment to a potentially embarrassing one. It also reveals a larger truth—Murphy is lonely.
REVEAL A NEW PERSPECTIVE
Characters can bring a fresh perspective to a situation. It might be sensible, flawed or total nonsense. Often this perspective is the product of a character’s idiosyncrasies, allowing it to perform both character-displaying and new-perspective functions simultaneously. For a moment we inhabit the mind of the character and see the world in a different way. InMork and Mindy, Mork is an alien who sees our world through innocent eyes. Because he takes things literally, common expressions can be turned on their heads, revealing contradictions and anomalies:
MORK: Why do they call it ‘rush hour’when nothing moves?
—Mork and Mindy (‘Mork in Love’ by Gordon Mitchell and Lloyd Turner)
Naivety isn’t the only way to reveal a new perspective. A new perspective can be cynical, bigoted, wise or even metaphoric:
MIRANDA: So all I have to do to meet the ideal man is to give birth to him?
—Sex and the City (‘The Baby Shower’ by Terri Minsky)
TED BULLPIT: (on his wife visiting a Catholic school fete) Strike me green, woman—I’m not letting any wife of mine set foot inside that miniature Mick Vatican-ette.
—Kingswood Country (‘Aerial Warfare’ by Doug Edwards)
FRED DAGG: (who has just silenced a pack of barking dogs to the wonderment of his mates) What you do is, you wait till you reckon they’re about to stop barking and you whistle just before it happens.
—Dagg Day Afternoon (John Clarke and Geoff Murphy)
A change of context can also deliver a new perspective on an everyday event or ordinary character. In M*A*S*H, when Hawkeye and Trapper sip martinis amid the harsh environment of the Korean War, the drinks are symbolic of their rebellion against army discipline and of the world they’ve left behind.
ACTION, CHARACTER, SITUATION AND PERSPECTIVE
So, what about bringing all four of these imperatives together?M*A*S*H, arguably the best U.S. sitcom ever written, shows how it’s done:
FRANK: Are you going over my head?
HAWKEYE: No, just through a hole in it.
—(‘Showtime’ by Larry Gelbart and Robert Klane)
Here, Hawkeye (Alan Alda) a) pushes the story by revealing his intention to steamroll Frank; b) confirms his own sardonic personality and his dim view of Frank’s; c) confirms the situation (a direct challenge to Frank’s authority); and d) offers a new perspective on the euphemism ‘going over my head’.
Though the four story functions are simple, their importance cannot be overstated. Without it a script is just a list of unrelated jokes: funny for a while but ultimately pointless and boring.
One more time for the peanut gallery: just because it’s funny doesn’t justify its inclusion in a script.
Metaphor
Comic metaphors equate or compare one thing with another, manifesting the qualities of a character, object, view or situation in something that would normally be seen as unrelated but is shown to have similarities. The purpose of a metaphor is to illuminate a larger truth about the subject.
FUNCTIONS OF THE COMIC METAPHOR
Comic metaphors turn up constantly as one-liners in dialogue:
RED: You are about to read a book that my foot
wrote. It’s called ‘On the Road to in your Ass’.
—That ’70s Show (‘On With The Show’ by David Schiff)
Comic metaphors can however be more than simply gags in dialogue. They can be imposed upon an entire scene or character to reduce, typify or exaggerate the true nature of the character or scene. They can:
1. Reduce important things to the mundane or trivial:
In Life of Brian by Monty Python, a fire-and-brimstone prophet thunders graphically about the apocalypse and the Whore of Babylon. A second prophet rages in a thick brogue about a horned demon with a nine-bladed sword coming to destroy all sinners. The third speaks meekly in the tone and manner of a forgetful parent discussing a domestic issue involving naughty kids:
PROPHET: … At this time, a friend will lose his friend’s hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o’clock …
—Life of Brian (Monty Python)
The predictions go from the hugely important horrors of the apocalypse to kids nicking hammers. The larger truth highlighted by the third prophet’s mundane and trivial prediction is that one man’s prediction is as good as another’s. If you think about it, his prediction has the greatest chance of coming true, as any father who’s lost a hammer will attest. We may laugh, but tarot card readers and their ilk will find no comfort in the jibe.
2. Equate something with something else of similar value:
Again, Life of Brian provides a fine example by equating ancient Rome’s insurgents with university communist committees. The members of the People’s Front of Judea (PFJ) gather to conspire in the overthrow of the Roman occupation. In a withering pisstake of all-talk-no-action communist university clubs, the cell members waste time squabbling.
One member, Judith, rushes in to tell them Brian is going to be crucified by the Romans. The other members agree the situation calls for immediate action—but not without first adhering to committee procedures. When they decide to kidnap Pontius Pilate’s wife, they end up battling the People’s Judean Front (PJF), whom they hate more than they hate the Romans. The PFJ and the PJF subsequently kill each other.
Both the PFJ and university communists feature similar characteristics. They talk too much, follow too many rules and are powerless to change things. Most apt of all, the Trotskyites hate the Spartacists more than they hate the Capitalists (surely their true enemy).