“She is my mother and Lady of Garroth. I had to keep her informed. If you saw those letters, you would notice they were neither long nor detailed.” Laelliandir offered an excuse, but he didn’t lie. The few letters he had sent were short and said little. They were vague and cryptic, with subtle hints of what he was doing in case they were intercepted along the way. “I’ll be here for a bit, and we will catch up Bell.” Laelliandir turned his attention to the open gate and the castle beyond. “Come now. Let’s be on our way inside to see mother, Lumi, and my brothers and sisters.” He took a step forward. Bella crossed her arms over her chest angrily as Laelliandir led the way past Markus.
“Sword training? That’s what you think? I’ve trained myself well enough with your mother’s instructor and with Markus here.” she thought but kept her tongue. Maybe she had overreacted. Just because she was bent out of shape about him, didn’t mean he was about her. Still, it bothered her. As Laelliandir guided his horse and walked ahead, Markus turned to Bella and motioned with his head for her to follow. Bella took a deep breath and joined Markus’ side a few paces behind Laelliandir, far enough behind for her to watch him without him knowing. She noticed his white cape brushing the stone street as he walked. As angry as she was at him, he still looked dashing.
“Is he a fool? Or am I? Does he even suspect how I feel? No! We’ve been over this. He’s brilliant, but not always so bright. You should tell him. No! Why would I? He’d think I’m a fool. And I am! Right?” Bella thought to herself as they walked past the gate. Between the stone wall and gate, there were stone paths that circled around the castle leading to the waterfalls where the Javallas swam. “I thought I was over him. I am over him! I’m angry. Aren’t I? Sarding sard sard!” Bella sighed as she continued her one-sided conversation with herself. She reached up and grabbed the brooch in her hair and yanked it out in frustration. “This stupid thing is on too tight. I can’t even think straight.” Although she still said nothing aloud, Markus had witnessed her inner fights. He also noted that she paid no attention to where they were going, mindlessly following Laelliandir toward the castle itself.
“Hey Laelliandir,” Markus said. “Your family is by the falls behind the castle. We can walk around and avoid the halls, guards, and others.”
“Why are they at the falls?”
“Every week. Same time. We have a family supper and spend time at the falls. Lumi’s idea.” Bella was quick to answer, hoping to make him jealous. It didn’t work. Laelliandir smiled at the idea, finding it charming until he remembered Albatros. The minotaur was someone he tried to forget but coming home meant an inevitable face-to-face meeting and a possible confrontation.
“Sounds wonderful. Does the beast of the castle attend?” Bella, seeing a moment to strike, grinned before taking the branch of the stone path that led to the left of the castle. “Albatros? Aye. He’s great to have around. Follow me. He at least, is reliable. He’s a regular part of the family now, but don’t worry he’s not sharing a bed with your mother. You’ll like him,” Bella blurted out. Laelliandir and Markus exchanged uneasy glances before turning to follow.
“Bella Luna! However, I wronged you; I will make it right. I promise you, but you don’t have to take jabs to get my attention.” Laelliandir jogged to catch up with her. Markus lagged behind. His whole day had turned completely around from his earlier happiness until now. Somehow, he was an unintentional witness to a lover’s quarrel. Bella didn’t stop or even acknowledge Laelliandir, but she responded.
“It’s no insult to say Albatros is a good loyal addition to your family. If you had been here, you would have seen how hard he is trying. It’s insulting when you call him a beast!”
“I have a personal issue with what happened, and I admit it. I meant no offense to you, but I am offended that my family and my father have been treated with such disrespect. I miss him so much, and I’m still sickened that my mother was forced to marry another.”
“Aye. Remember. I was here for you every day for months. I listened, and I supported you through that time,” Bella reminded him. “That’s the hardest part for me. You are so clueless how much I relied on those moments we spent. Not just the sword training, but the talks. I lost my adopted grandmother who had been with me since my earliest memories. I lost my adopted uncle. I lost every home and the only family I ever knew, and I was struggling here in Garroth. We had that in common, and then you not only just up and left, but you come back after so long and pretend it meant nothing to you. You promised me! Used me as your shoulder and as soon as you’re ready to head off into the sunset, you do it. Use what you need. Take what you want. Just like a thief.” All of Bella’s sadness came out as she flaunted her hands, trying to express herself. Laelliandir could not listen to it any longer. He reached out and grabbed Bella by the hand and stopped her. Bella’s eyes filled with tears, and she fought not to cry in front of him. “I am so foolish. I fell for the one thing I always feared Lumi would. I am such a fool.” Laelliandir shook his head.
“I’m sorry, Bell. The time we shared before I left meant the world to me. I looked forward to seeing you every day. Talking to you and being around you helped me get through those days. I was in a bad place, and you can’t imagine what that meant having you near. You are no fool. I am. I didn’t understand. I was blind and did not understand you felt that way. I’ve been so wrapped up I have not had a moment to think about anything beyond…beyond...beyond what I can’t talk to you about right now.” Bella sobbed and nodded.
“You keep your secrets. I care not anymore. It was my fault. I saw something in you and believed you saw something in me too. I was wrong.” Markus could not stand another minute. He saw his chance to leave, and all too aware that they would not notice, he did just that.
“You have been on my mind almost every day since I left, Bell. I care for you very much. I have wanted nothing more to be done with this mess and be home with everyone. Doing normal things again. I really wanted to get back. I have thought of you--”
“But not like that. Not the way I have for you, or you’d have been here.” Bella finished his sentence. Laelliandir shut his eyes in regret.
“I’m a White Lion with a duty, and I have been trained to channel those emotions and bury them. Duty demands my attention first, so I’m not supposed to give in to emotions so I won’t lose my focus. The code forbids it. In service, beyond mating, there shall be no bonds of love that deter one’s obligation. Duty first. It is a burden of the White Lion, but a blessing to the people.” Laelliandir recited what he had been taught. Bella shoved him once more.
“Your father did it! Did it make him a lesser man? Did it make him less respected? It’s a pathetic code that none should be expected to follow. If you don’t care for me in that way, just say so. Don’t make excuses that don’t make sense. I get it. I fell for you like a senseless sarding child, and I was in the wrong. Just say you don’t care about me that way, and you only want me as a friend. Just say it so I can hear it from you and rid myself of this feeling!” Bella begged with tears streaming down her face. “Please. Just...” Before she could finish her sentence, Laelliandir, unsure of what he was doing, wrapped his arms around her and loomed close bringing his lips to hers. Stunned, Bella fell silent and submitted to his embrace, shut her eyes, and returned what would be both Laelliandir’s and Bella’s first kiss. It was not out of pity that Laelliandir acted, but a sudden desire that overtook. It was no small peck either. Constricted, their embrace, as Laelliandir seized her lips. Bella fell faint, submitting to his touch. Neither had ever kissed before, so it wasn’t exactly seamless, but in the moment, the two held each other, their lips passionate together. Lost in a spell, they succumbed to a moment of bliss. It lasted but few short moments but left them in a stupor.
When it ended, they stared at each other in wonder and smiled. Without words and left wanting more, they looked upon one another with a beaming expression. Giving in to desire yet again, Bella and Laelliandir shut their eyes and parted th
eir lips once more. It was the last thing Markus saw before taking his leave into the castle.
Chapter Eleven
Wine
“W hy did you do that?” Bella asked, with tears still streaming down her face. Laelliandir released his grip upon Bella’s waist. He had not intended to kiss her. Something indescribable had come over him he could neither explain nor defend. Filled with shame and confusion, he looked around to make sure no one had seen them, but nobody was near, not even Markus any longer.
“I don’t know,” Shaken himself, he finally answered.
“You don’t know? Pity?” Bella could not bear the thought of Laelliandir pitying her, but she was compelled to ask. He looked into her eyes, touching her cheek and caressing it before responding.
“No. Not pity. It was sincere, but not planned. I am so sorry, Bell.” Laelliandir now wondered if he had done a terrible thing. Bella smiled, sighed, and shook her head. She read his confusion, as the signs of his struggle to understand his actions were written all over his face. He withdrew his hand, abashed.
“Don’t apologize. I am not sorry. I am glad you gave me my first real kiss. As long as it was not out of pity, I’ll be fine. You decide what it is you wish from me and be honest about it. Honest with me, and honest with yourself. I missed you, but I’ll survive if you want to go on about your days as you were and forget this ever happened.” She wiped away tears with the heels of her hands, but kept speaking. “I won’t forget, but you can. I’m not here to cage you, but I wanted to tell you what is in my heart. It’s been there for a long time now.” Bella sought to reassure Laelliandir, and she meant every word. She would force nothing upon this man that made him uncomfortable. Bella somehow understood Laelliandir kept a shield around his heart, and now as she gazed into his eyes, he looked lost. Laelliandir did not respond, but his expression conveyed admiration. She wasn’t wrong. At this moment, Laelliandir was more lost than he had been in quite some time.
∞ ∞ ∞
“So it looks like the golden boy has finally returned home and has an interest in Bella,” Lonewolf whispered as he and Luminear stood side by side in front of a tall narrow open window on the second floor of the castle. Luminear, who was a little tipsy, had offered to give Lonewolf a tour of the castle, and they had been deep in conversation right before they spotted Bella and Laelliandir outside on the grounds in front of the keep.
Luminear had not been surprised to see Laelliandir back at home, but she was shocked to see him kissing her sister. She, much like Bella, had sensed Laelliandir didn’t see Bella the way she saw him. Before he’d left so long ago, she’d been certain they liked one another, but Laelliandir’s extended absence told her otherwise. In part, that was why Luminear hoped Markus and Bella would be together. Observing the obvious chemistry between Laelliandir and Bella, she experienced both curiosity about the two of them and disappointment and dread for poor Markus. However, her thoughts were short-lived. Realizing Lonewolf too looked down at the pair alarmed her. He smiled, but his smile came across as amused more than happy.
“They like each other,” Luminear said lightly, not sure if Lonewolf approved or not. She still had to figure out how she felt. Lonewolf nodded. “Do you want to catch up with Bell?” Lonewolf shook his head and took a sip from the goblet.
“Let her and golden boy have their moment. He’s been gone a while. I’ll find her later. Let them have their fun.” Lonewolf turned to Luminear and motioned for her to raise her goblet so he could toast with her, but she was fixated on his words. How did he know Laelliandir had been away? Had Lonewolf come solely to visit her and Bella, or did he have alternative motives? Given what she knew about Laelliandir and how close Lonewolf was with the Overlords caused her much concern. When communicating with the Overlords, Laella had claimed for a time that Laelliandir was in solitude and seclusion within the castle. Later she had said he was away on hunting trips, and finally, he had joined expeditions in search of the White Turban Rebellion. Based on what Lonewolf had said and the way he’d said it, Luminear feared Lonewolf suspected Laelliandir was gone longer than claimed and that his absence was for nefarious purposes.
“He was on a hunting trip,” Luminear told Lonewolf hoping her explanation held weight. She eyed him before raising her glass, already a little drunk, but she wanted to distract him. Lonewolf merely looked to her and smiled before clinking glasses.
“Here’s to the Lord of Gargurthian’s successful hunt!” With the tapping of goblets, they took a sip.
“Come now show me around. We’ll give them some time and meet around back shortly,” Lonewolf suggested. “Poor Markus, I say.” Luminear also empathized with Markus, but she was far more concerned with her adopted uncle.
“We can do that,” she said as Lonewolf turned from the window, motioning Luminear to accompany him through the halls of the keep. Still light-headed from the wine, she also experienced growing anxiety and worry. Her sense of something going on beneath the surface persisted, and she wondered if Laelliandir and Lonewolf arriving on the same day was not by chance. She took another gulp and feeling braver, she joined Lonewolf.
“You’ve changed.”
“How so?”
“Are you here for Bella and me, or something else? Do you have an issue with Lord Laelliandir?” Lonewolf chuckled.
“I’m here for you and Bella, of course. Don’t overthink it, dear. I have no issues with the young Lord. A little concerned over his intentions with Bella, but surely a man of honor would not hurt her.”
“Listen.” Luminear stopped in the hall, forcing him to do the same. “I don’t understand why you remain in Magwhen, and what you are doing with the Overlords that is so demanding, but I think it’s time you return to us. You’ve no reason to be there anymore. You’ve served whatever that sentence was months ago, and you aren’t obligated any longer.” Luminear could only speculate based on what he’d told them over two years earlier. It seemed simple enough to her. Lonewolf wiggled his finger before Luminear’s face and tapped her on the nose.
“That’s not always how it works. I’ve been appointed to a position by the Overlords themselves. It’s not as simple as being hired by a barkeep to tend tables and then quit. When I can, I will be delighted to move here and serve you fine Javallas.” Lonewolf smirked. “Oh, that reminds me. Congratulations on your surname.”
“Doesn’t change my blood. Just a name. Never an heir of anything, probably not even if Bella and I were the last Javallas alive. A gift. A belonging,” Luminear explained.
“An imaginary gift that holds no power,” Lonewolf shook his head. “Are you sure that’s a gift or mockery?”
“Why do you mock them? Why do you mock me, Wolf?” Luminear questioned. The wine had stiffened her spine and loosened her tongue. “Are you not happy for us? Or are you so unhappy for your situation you ridicule out of jealousy?”
“Lumi. I meant no offense.” Wolf raised his hands as if to protect himself as it was clear Luminear was attached to this world of hers in Garroth. “I’m a talker,” he explained. “I don’t know when to quit, and you’re right I’m a tad envious.” In part, he wasn’t lying. Sadly, his path was well on its way elsewhere.
“I don’t want trouble. If you’re here to pry or spy, and not here for us, then be honest about it. You owe us that. We have always been aware you sometimes evaded the truth, but the ends always justified the means. I support that. Be you, but do nothing that might hurt us. Laelliandir is family now. Lady Laella is family.” The words spilled from Luminear, and Lonewolf could tell how fast the wine was affecting her as she slurred her words. He might have experienced guilt except he’d gotten what he wanted.
“Good to be protective of family, my dear. I assure you I am who I always have been and have the best of intentions. I promise I only wish to see you and Bella, and make sure you two are well. Embarrassingly enough, you are being treated better now than I have done for you two. I’ve been put in my place,” Lonewolf said, before motioning her to continue
down the hall. “Let’s drop this. Enough with that now. Show me your chambers if you will.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just cautious, I guess,” Luminear apologized taking yet another sip of her wine even more light-headed and now wondering if she had said too much.
“Nonsense. I should not have given you wine and mocked your keepers. Lousy taste on my part, and I will do my best to behave in the days ahead,” Lonewolf promised.
“I appreciate that at least. All right, I’ll show you my room.” Luminear agreed to press on with her old friend, pushing niggling doubts from her mind aside.
Meanwhile Lonewolf echoed her concerns to himself, “Paranoid I’m spying on the Javalla golden boy and mother. Well, that was easy. Alcohol never fails. The fools told Lumi. I guess my assumptions are correct on these rebels.”
Chapter Twelve
Homecoming
A round the same time Lonewolf and Luminear resumed their castle tour, Laelliandir and Bella realized Markus had gone. Bella suspected why he'd disappeared but couldn't bring herself to dwell on his sudden departure. She was so happy. She brushed her guilt aside and insisted they go to the falls so Laelliandir could reunite with his family. Still shaken by what he had done, Laelliandir suppressed his own guilt for instigating something that went against his code.
"Don't beat yourself up over me," Bella said seeming to read his mind. "You did nothing wrong, and we can take it slow. How about tonight after the sun sets, we practice with steel?" Laelliandir nodded in assent and relief at Bella's suggestion. "Don't think. I shouldn't have pressed you so much." Laelliandir agreed to swordplay later that evening and again apologized for his troubled thoughts.
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