CHAPTER XXI.
THE RETURN FROM THE BASTILE.
He stepped down easily and lightly among the sheep. They rose withoutsurprise or disorder, still with strict attention to businesscontinuing to munch at the grass they had plucked as they lay, for allthe world as if a famous adventure-seeking general had been only theharmless but boresome shepherd who came to drive them out to pasturesnew. For all the surprise they showed they might have been accustomedfrom their fleeciest infancy to small, dirty, scratched, bruised,infinitely tattered imps of imperial descent arriving suddenly out ofunexplored secret passages in ancient fortresses.
The great commander's first instinct was to rush for home and so makesure that Cook Mary the Second had done enough kidneys for breakfast.His second idea, and one more worthy of his military reputation, wascarefully to conceal the entrance to the doorway, by which he hademerged from the passage he had so wonderfully discovered. No one knewhow soon the knowledge might prove useful to him. As a matter ofattack and defence the underground passage was certainly not to beneglected.
Then Hugh John drove the sheep before him out of the fallen tower. Ashe did so one of them coughed, stretching its neck and holding itshead near the ground. He now knew the origin of the sound whichhad--no, not frightened him (of course not!), but slightly surprisedhim the evening before.
And, lo! there, immediately in front of him as he emerged, was theEdam Water, sliding and rippling on under its willows, the slim,silvery-grey leaves showing their white under-sides just as usual.There, across the river, were the cattle, standing already knee-deepin the shallows, their tails nervy and switchy on the alert for themorning's crop of flies. There was Mike going to drive them in to bemilked. Yonder in the far distance was a black speck which must bePeter polishing straps and buckles hung on a pin by the stable door.
"Horrid beasts every one of them!" said Hugh John indignantly tohimself, "going on all as comfortable as you please, just as if I hadnot been pining in a dungeon cell for years and years."
Then setting his cramped wet legs in motion, General Napoleoncommenced a masterly retreat in the direction of home. He dashed forthe stepping-stones, but he was in too much of a hurry to make sure ofhitting them. He slipped from the first and went above the knee intothe clear cool Edam Water. After that he simply floundered through,and presently emerged dripping on the other side. Along the woodlandpaths he scurried and scampered. He dashed across glades, scatteringthe rabbits and kicking up the dew in the joy of recovered freedom. Heclimbed a stone dyke into the home park, because he had no time to goround by the stile. He brought half of the fence down in his haste,scraping his knee as he did so. But so excited was he that he scarcelyfelt the additional bruise.
He ran up the steps. The front door was standing wide open, with thedisreputable and tell-tale air of a reveller who has been out allnight in evening dress. All doors have this look which have not beendecently shut and locked during the dark hours. There was no one inthe hall--no one in the dining-room--no one in the schoolroom, wherethe children's tea of the night before had never been cleared away.Hugh John noticed that his own place had been set, and the clean cupand plate and the burnished unused knife struck him as infinitelypathetic.
But he was hungry, and had no time to waste on mere feelings. Hisinner man was too insistent. He knew well where the pantry was (trusthim for that!), and he went towards it at the rate of twenty miles anhour. He wished he had remembered to add a petition to his prayer thatit might be unlocked. But it was now too late for this, so he mustjust trust in an unjogged Providence and take his chances.
The gods were favourable. They had evidently agreed that for one smallboy he had suffered enough for that day. The pantry was unlocked.There was a lovely beefsteak pie standing on a shelf. Hugh John liftedit off, set it on the candle box, ungratefully throwing Sambo Soulison the floor in order to make elbow room, and then with a knife andfork he proceeded to demolish the pie. The knife and fork he first puthis hands on had obviously been used. But did General Napoleon stop togo to the schoolroom for clean ones? No--several thousand times no!Those who can, for a single moment, entertain such thoughts, are veryfar from having yet made the acquaintance of General Smith. Why, hedid not even wait to say grace--though he usually repeatedhalf-a-dozen the first thing in the morning, so as to have the jobwell over for the day. It is all right to say grace, but it is such afag to have to remember before every meal. So Hugh John went into thewholesale business.
He was half through the pie before he looked about for something todrink. Lemonade, if it could be found, would meet the case. Hugh Johnfelt this keenly, and, lo! the friendly Fates, with a smile, hadplanted a whole case of it at his feet. He knocked in the patentstopper with the handle of his knife (all things must yield tomilitary necessity), and, after the first draught, what more wasthere left to live for--except a second bottle and the rest of thepie?
He was just doing his best to live up to the nice cool jelly, whichmelted in a kind of lingering chill of delight down his throat, whenJanet Sheepshanks appeared in the doorway. Wearily and disheartenedly,she had come in to prepare for a breakfast which no one in all WindyStandard would eat. Something curious about the feeling of the househad struck her as she entered. She had gone from room to room, dividedbetween hope and apprehension, and, lo! there before her, in her ownravished pantry, tuck-full of beefsteak pie and lemonade, sat the boyfor whom they were even then dragging the deepest pools of the Edam.
"Oh, thank the Lord, laddie!" cried Janet, clasping her hands indevout thankfulness, "that He hath spared ye to your widowedfaither--and to me, your auld unworthy nurse!"
The tears were running down her cheeks. Somehow her face had quitesuddenly grown grey and worn. She looked years older than she had doneyesterday. Hugh John paused and looked at her marvelling. He had aheavily laden fork half-way to his mouth. He wondered what all thefuss was about.
"Do get me some mustard, Janet," he said, swinging his wet legs; "andwhere on earth have you put the pickles?"
* * * * *
In the cross-examination which naturally followed, Hugh John kept hisown counsel, like the prudent warrior he was. He left Janet and theothers to suppose that, in trying to escape from his foes, he had"fallen" into the castle dungeon, and none of the household servantsknew enough of the topography of the ancient stronghold to know that,if he had done so, he would probably have broken his neck. He saidnothing about Nipper Donnan or any of the band by name. Simply andtruthfully he designated them as "some bad boys," which certainly wasin no way overstating the case.
Perhaps if his father had been at home he could not have hoodwinkedhis questioners so easily and completely. Mr. Picton Smith wouldcertainly have gone deeper into the business than Janet Sheepshanks,who alternately slapped and scolded, petted and spoilt our hero allday long.
For some time Hugh John smelt of Araby the Blest and Spicy Ind; for hehad ointments and liniments, rags and plasters innumerable scatteredover his person in all directions.
He borrowed a cigarette (it was a very old and dry one) from themantelpiece of his father's workroom, and retired to the shelter ofthe elm-tree to hold his court and take private evidence upon theevents of yesterday.
As he went across the yard Black Donald ran bleating to him, andplayfully butted at his leg.
Hugh John stopped in astonishment.
"Who found him?" he asked.
Sir Toady Lion proudly stepped forward. He had a garden rake in hishand, with which the moment before he had been poking Donald in theribs, and making his life a burden to him generally.
"I CREATE YOU GENERAL OF THE COMM'SARIAT."]
He began to speak, but Hugh John stopped him.
"Salute, you little beast!" he said sternly.
Slowly Toady Lion's hand went up. He did not object to salute, but hehad a vague sense that, as a matter of personal dignity, not even ageneral had a right to speak to a private thus--much less to acommissariat sergeant. However, what he
had to say was so triumphantand overpowering that he waived the point and touched his forehead indue form.
"_I_ did--nobody but me. I d'livered him, all by mineself. I cuttedthe rope and d'livered Donald. Yes, I did--Prissy will tell 'oo. Iwented into the Black Sheds all alone-y--and d'livered him!"
His words came tumbling over each other in his haste. But he laidstrong emphasis upon the word "delivered," which he had just learnedfrom Prissy. He meant to use it very often all that day, because itwas a good word, and nobody knew the meaning of it exceptQuite-Grown-Ups.
General Napoleon Smith put on his most field-marshalish expression,and summoned Sir Toady Lion to approach.
He tapped him on the shoulder and said in a grand voice, "I create youGeneral of the Comm'sariat for distinguished conduct in the field.From this time forth you can keep the key of the biscuit box, but Iknow just how many are in. So mind out!"
This was good, and Toady Lion was duly grateful; but he wished hisgood fortune put into a more concrete form.
"Can I have the biggest and nicerest saucer of the scrapings of thepreserving-pan to-night?"
Hugh John considered a moment. An impulse of generosity swept overhim.
"Yes, you can," he said nobly. Then a cross wave of caution caused himto add--"that is, if it isn't rasps!"
Now the children of the house of Windy Standard were permitted toclean out the boiling-pan in the fruit-preserving season with wornhorn spoons, in order not to scratch the copper or crack the enamel.And rasp was Hugh John's favourite.
"Huh," said Toady Lion, turning up a contemptuous nose. "Thank 'oo fornuffin! I like wasps just as much as 'oo, Hugh John Picton Smiff!"
"Don't answer me back, sir!"--Hugh John was using his father's wordsand manner.
"Sall if I like," said Toady Lion, beginning to whimper. "Sall go andtell Janet Sheepshanks, and she'll give me yots of wasps! Notscrapin's neither, but weal-weal wasps--so there!"
"Toady Lion, I shall degrade you to the ranks. You are a little pigand a disgrace to the army."
"Don't care, I wants wasps--and I d'livered Donald," reiterated theDisgrace of the Army.
Hugh John once more felt the difficulty of arguing with Toady Lion. Hewas altogether too young to be logical. So he said, "Toady Lion, youlittle ass, stop snivelling--and I'll give you a bone button and thehalf of a knife."
"Let's see them," said Toady Lion, cautiously uncovering one eye bylifting up the edge of the covering palm. His commanding officerproduced the articles of peace, and Toady Lion examined themcarefully, still with one eye. They proved satisfactory.
"All yight!" said he, "I won't cry no more--but I wants three saucersfull of the wasps too!"
The Surprising Adventures of Sir Toady Lion with Those of General Napoleon Smith Page 22