by HJ Bellus
“And he’s coming back three times every month and showed me how to FaceTime him, so I get to see Junior every single day.”
“That’s great, honey.” My eyes sting and swell with the need to cry and sob, but I keep them back.
“You love him, huh?”
I glance in the rearview mirror to see her tilting her head, staring at me.
“What?” I ask.
“You love him, Mom. I know you do.”
There’s no use lying to her. She’s smarter than any of us could ever realize. “I do love him.”
“Then why didn’t you tell him to stay? He would’ve stayed. He loves babysitting Richard Noggin.”
I chuckle and shake my head. “That’s the complicated part, sweetie.
“But why?”
I bring my car to a stop at a red light and glance back at her. “I don’t know how to explain it, but just know Cody will come back.”
She interrupts me. “You mean Junior.”
I nod and smile. “Yes, I mean Junior. He will be in our lives forever. Just right now, the time isn’t exactly perfect.”
“Oh.” She smacks her lips together. “Like when I want to go to the Jump Time and your feet hurt and you’re not nice. Like that?”
The light turns green. “Yeah, baby, just like that.”
“Okay.” She’s silent for a few blocks. “Hey, Mom.”
“Yeah?”
“Can we get Scotty a girlfriend?”
The school comes into sight. “What?”
I glance up to her in the rearview mirror. She has her hands clasped together over her chest.
“Please, please, please.”
“Scotty doesn’t need a girlfriend.” I pull into the long lane for parent drop off and make eye contact with her in the mirror.
“Yes, he does,” she replies.
“No, he doesn’t.” I shake my head. Not going to ensue an argument with my little girl first thing in the morning.
“Yeah, he does.” She nods her head.
I glance forward to see the line hasn’t moved an inch. “Okay, Cody, tell me why you think Scotty needs a girlfriend.”
“Junior said that if he had a girlfriend and was getting some, he wouldn’t be so mean and grumpy.” She beams proudly with her reasoning.
I burst out in laughter. I should not be laughing. It’s not funny, and I can’t believe those words just came out of my little girl’s mouth. But I can picture Scotty nipping at Cody or hiking his leg to piss on his pant leg, and then I laugh even damn harder at the whole scene.
“What’s so funny, Mom? He needs a girlfriend and then he’ll be a nice dog.” She brushes her hair back. “A girl in my class takes her dog to 4-H, and if I can get Scotty nice, I know he’ll win.”
I wipe the happy tears away and nod. “I agree, sweetie, Scotty needs a girlfriend, but,” I hold up my finger, “we will need to do our research before we get him one.”
“Yes.” She throws her arm up in the air as I creep up in the drop-off lane. “I’m going to tell everyone that my dog will win. I just know he will.”
“Hey, now.” I glance back over my shoulder. “Be humble. Don’t brag. You’ll need to work hard with Scotty, okay?”
She nods. “Okay, Mom, I’ll try. Junior told me I need to walk and talk like a boss.”
Oh hell. I swear he’s gifted this girl with years of confidence, something I never thought I’d see, and he did it in a month or so. And I let him go. I don’t have time to think about it as we pull right up in front of the school, the witchy guard watching us with a death glare.
I’m not supposed to hop out of the car and hug and kiss her, but I do every morning. I also get a monthly notice that I’m breaking school protocol. I toss them in the trash every single time. They can kiss my ass. I will never miss a chance to hug and kiss on my most prized gift. She’s my world.
Cody hops out of the back of the car, adjusting her backpack and wiggling her pants up her hips. I kneel before her, holding my arms wide open.
“Come here, my sweet, brave girl.”
Cody shakes her head then leaps into my chest. “Mom, I’m a warrior. Junior told me so.”
I run my hand up and down her back. “Yes, you are.”
I’d do anything for this girl; I hug her extra long today.
“’Kay, Mom, have to go to Learning Club, okay?” She wiggles out of my squeeze.
“Okay.” I nod and stand up. “I’ll pick you up after school today, okay? We are going out for pizza with Aunt Nell then to Jump Time.”
Cody jumps up and down. “Best day ever.”
And with that, she darts off into the school. Man, only to have that zest and innocence for life again. It’s priceless, and when we are in that stage, we have no idea we have the greatest gift. I square my shoulders and set off to do way too adult-y shit today.
There’s not much traffic as I drive across town to my lawyer’s office. Once I’m parked, I pick up my cell phone. I have his number. I run my finger over his contact, admiring his contact picture. The two loves of my world smiling back at me with the devil dog sitting right between them.
“Cody, why did I send you away?” I whisper to the phone. “If I’m being honest, I need you more than anything right now.”
I admire his disheveled hair and scruff on his jawline. It’s all sexiness. The man turns heads everywhere he goes. But it’s so much more than that. It’s the love, kindness, and raw vulnerability. I tuck my phone away, knowing I could stare at it all day while talking myself out of calling Cody.
“Ms. Cooper, we’re ready for you.” A receptionist leads me back to a conference room, where my lawyer relaxes in an overstuffed leather chair.
“Bertie, come on in.” He waves his hand, his smile never faltering.
Unease creeps up my spine. I’m not sure how to feel about his happiness. I know it’s more than likely favoring me, but it still creeps me out at the same time.
“I have good news.” He flips open the lid of his MacBook. “Excuse me. Would you like water or coffee?”
I shake my head. “No, thanks. I’m good.”
“Well, first off, I shouldn’t be this energized considering I haven’t slept since you left my office.”
“You what?” I cough out.
“You heard me right. That list you offered was pure gold.”
“The list.” Even though I understand everything he says, I find myself repeating myself. Chalk it up to shock.
“Yes. I interviewed several hospital employees and found out way more than I ever bargained for.” He turns his MacBook my way. Image after image of bruises, cuts, and sex photos come into view. “This is why he was scrambling.”
My hand goes to my throat as I gasp. “What is this?”
“This is what Garrett does. Seems he’s been doing it for years. My phone has been ringing off the hook with women from his college years. Some of the nurses told me names that Garrett threatened them with. He encouraged the women to look up what happened to them. The man is pure evil.”
“But—bu—but he never hurt me.”
“Not yet.” McDouglas nods. “Garrett found himself in quite a bit of trouble his first year of residency. Seems his parents did quite the job of cleaning up the mess, but it seems he didn’t learn his lesson. His parents have paid off more people than you can imagine.”
“Okay.” I nod.
“This time they told him to get married or he was cut off. They’re tired and honestly more than likely financially exhausted. He’d be in prison if it weren’t for their help, and they will write him off if he doesn’t get married and settled down.”
“But that doesn’t help him,” I say.
“No, it doesn’t, but I’m guessing they’re desperate and were reaching for straws.”
The puzzle pieces click into place one by one. My stomach roils low in my belly, the stinging sensation of bile creeping up my throat. I manage to talk through it all. “So, he found me. A single mom with a young child
and a reputable past to be his key to righting all of his wrongs.”
“Yes, Bertie, that’s exactly what he did.” He reaches over, covering my hand with his. It reminds me of way a loving grandpa would do to his favorite grandkid. “All I need is a yes, and the hospital board and local authorities will have all of this information within the hour.”
This isn’t something easy to decide on. We aren’t talking what kind of cheese you want on your hamburger. No, it’s so much worse. My courageous girl comes to mind. I’d always want her to fight for what’s right, no matter how scary it is.
“Do it.” I stand up, straightening out my shirt and jerking my chin.
“On it.” He leaps up from his chair. “Stay home for the next few days until he’s in custody. I’m going to warn you, Bertie, it’s going to get ugly. Damn ugly.”
“There’s always ugly before the beauty.” I walk out of his office with trembling hands.
I sit in my car for minutes, hell, who knows, hours…recalling everything about Garrett. There was a nasty nurse before me, and he gave me every excuse in the book. I bought all his bullshit. Then there was Brittany, who was my really good friend. We’d always bring each other leftovers, and she even hung out with me and my daughter a handful of times, but Garrett taunted me with that as well. Told me she came onto him. Lies. All lies.
My brain reels with all the sneaky shit he did. The more I think about it, the more pissed off I get that I was hook, line, and sinker for the asshole. He played a damn good game, and I was his pawn. A pawn that had no chance in hell to survive. He picked the wrong girl this time. The joke will be on him. I would be a liar if I said I wasn’t scared. I’m frightened beyond belief.
Without thinking, I dial Cody’s number. It goes straight to voicemail, but it doesn’t stop me from listening to his warm comforting voice.
“Cody, it’s Junior. If I don’t answer, I’m slinging drinks at my bar or in the bathroom. Love you, little squirt, and will call you right back.”
I lose it. The tears blind me to the point I can’t see a damn thing. My body shakes and vibrates as I realize my biggest mistake. Yes, he screwed up, but I ruined it all shoving him out the door.
I find another contact on my phone and hit send. She answers on the first ring.
“Hey.”
“Nell,” I sob out. “I need you.”
After sending her my location, I continue to cry and shake until she arrives. I’m not sure how I manage it, but I find myself in her car staring out the window at the passing scenery. Nell doesn’t speak a word or even ask a question.
“Tacos,” I mumble. “We need tacos. Lots and lots of them.”
She whips into the nearest Taco Time, ordering a shit ton of tacos, making sure we get extra ranch and green sauce. I never let her pay for shit. But today is a different story. She pulls up to my house, grabs the tacos, then helps me out of the car. Scotty yaps at us when we enter. I go straight for the couch, cuddling up to the end of it.
“Wine or vodka?” Nell shouts from the kitchen.
“Neither. I need tacos and you,” I holler back.
Nell enters with the bag of tacos. I uncurl from the couch, going to town on the tacos. Nell doesn’t ask what in the hell is going on until I’m ready to offer it up. I swear the longer I let myself think on it, the more everything makes sense. I’m such a damn fool.
Once I gain my bearings for the briefest of moments, I spill everything to Nell. She doesn’t say a word as I ramble on and on, berating my idiot self.
“And if you say I told you so, I swear to God I will never talk to you again. I won’t even look at you. I’ll forget your name and put some kind of spell on you.”
Nell drops her taco raising up both of her hands. “Chill, lady. I got you. I’m here for you. Haven’t left your side so far and not about to. We will take Cody out to pizza tonight and to Jump Town or whatever in the hell it’s called. Then we will come home, tuck her in, take a bottle of wine to bed, and be just fine while that asshole is getting locked up.”
“You promise?” Tears strike again. Jesus, I’m way too emotional, but I don’t have anything to compare this to.
“I promise.” She picks her taco back up. “Now quit crying. You leak weak.”
I toss my wrapper at her, the tears falling faster with laughter mixed in. I relax back on the couch, tugging a blanket over me. I’m so damn tired.
“Wake me up at ten minutes before we need to go.”
“Got it, boss.” Nell flicks on the television. I remain awake long enough to see her open her laptop. That’s the silver lining about having friends who work from home. They are there for you any time of the day.
***
Only to be napping on the couch right now. The shrill screams of children and the pizza not settling well in my stomach are about to make me cry, even though my tears dried up a long time ago.
“Mom, watch us. Mom!”
“Bertie!”
I glance into the trampoline cage to see Cody and Nell bouncing up and down. Once they have my attention, they count off on their fingers then do some silly dance similar to their handshake. Then they bounce apart and do cartwheels in opposite directions. Well, Nell does cartwheels. Cody barely manages not to knock herself out with her kneecaps. But it doesn’t stop her from springing her arms up in the air and smiling.
I shoot them a thumb’s up, and soon enough I’m coaxed up on the trampoline. They put me in the routine, not giving away the secret of their handshake. We wiggle our butts and do some other things then spring into cartwheels. I shock myself when I nail one, unlike Nell who does three or four in a row, same as Cody who does her own version. I fall on my ass laughing. I don’t get a moment of silence or a chance to catch my breath as Nell bounds near me, jumping as hard as she can and springing me into action. Cody tackles me while we bound up and down. It exhilarates me, reminding me of all the rights in the world.
I’m light and carefree, loving life with everything I have in it. I’m going to be okay. An hour later, I’m forced to drag Cody then Nell off the damn trampolines, ready to get home and in bed. It’s been one hell of a day.
Cody passes out within seconds of being tucked into her seat. Nell sings to some song on the radio as I let my head relax on the headrest. It’s a glimpse of my life before he came back in. This was how it always was. But now I know there can be so much more, and I’m hungry for it.
“Hey, I gotta run home and grab some things. Want me to do it now or drop you guys off first?” Nell asks, turning down the radio.
“Take me home. I swear if you drive any longer, I’ll pass out and never wake up!”
“Okay, okay, princess.” She takes a right into my neighborhood.
Nell punches in the security code to my garage door. It rises, and I go to the backseat, plucking Cody from her booster seat. She doesn’t stir; she’s passed out cold as I walk into the garage.
“Need anything?” Nell asks. “Chocolate, condoms, cucumbers?”
“Get the hell out of here and hurry back.” I shake my head, keeping Cody still on my shoulder and twisting the doorknob that leads into the kitchen.
I flick on the light to see empty taco wrappers overflowing from the trash can.
“Scotty, it’s just us. Please don’t bark. Your girl is out,” I whisper with no response from him.
It must’ve been all the pieces of hamburger Nell fed him. I swear she’s either a soft-hearted person or the biggest wuss I know. Every time Scotty growls at her, she gives him a pinch of food.
I make my way up the stairs, pissed I didn’t drop my purse on the counter where I always do. I put it there so I know where it is when I’m in a hurry to get out the door. I manage to lay Cody down in her bed, pulling off her boots, and tugging the blankets up over her shoulders. I drop my purse on the floor and head to the shower.
Not going to lie. It’s killing me not to shower down Cody after being in that germ-infested playground, but I know waking her up would be like pokin
g a sleeping bear with a stick. I strip down, relaxing under the hot shower. I’m so damn exhausted it’s not even funny.
I let the warmth of the shower wrap me up in a relaxing hug, wringing out the remnants of silky conditioner. Once it’s gone, I remain under the spray until it cools. Drying off is a challenge with my muscles relaxed and unwilling to give anymore. I pull on the first yoga pants I spot and then snag a t-shirt close to it.
It’s not until I have it on that I realize it’s Cody’s t-shirt. The one from high school that still fits him, even if it hugged every one of his chest muscles. That damn logo on the front and his scent takes me back years, and I know everything will be okay. I toss the towel in the hamper then decide to find Scotty to see how much he’s puked all over the place. I glance up to the dim lit hallway and leap back.
“Well, hello, Roberta.”
“Wh—hat are you doing here?” I leap back.
“I came for what is mine.” The look in Garrett’s eyes is manic. His greasy hair stands on end with black smudge marks covering the white of his dress shirt. “Figured you were ready to put on your wedding ring.”
“Leave now,” I demand, backing up, scrambling to grasp onto something. “Get out now!”
My scream echoes around the walls. But it’s his deep, roaring laughter that overpowers me. He doesn’t leave; instead, he walks toward me with evil coating his every being.
“I have your ring, Roberta.” He tugs out a black box from his pocket. “It’s about time you put it on.”
My hand wraps around the base of the lamp, but before I have the chance to fully grasp it, Garrett pounces. My breath whooshes through my lungs as my spine cracks back on the nightstand then to the floor. He doesn’t stop there. His fists come into vision raining down on me. I scream each time. Fighting and struggling to be louder and louder with each blow.
“Put the ring on, bitch!” One final blow makes everything go black. My screams weren’t loud enough.
Chapter 18
Cody
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I beat the dash.