“Wish what?” he asked curiously.
“That I didn’t love him so much,” she confessed. “Even with all the disappointments, I still remember the good times. My dad was fun. When I would hang out with him, it was like being with the most entertaining person you could meet. We would do crazy things. We once hopped a fence and went swimming at a pool in a gated community after midnight, because it was hot, and our air conditioning wasn’t working. Being with him was an adventure.”
He could hear the love and the conflict in her voice. “But you felt that you were betraying your mom when you liked being with him.”
“Especially in the year right before they divorced and immediately afterward. Of course, as the years passed, and my dad let me down numerous times, those adventures became a distant memory.”
“But you’re not distant anymore.”
“I know. And it feels weird that he’s back in my life again.”
“How does your mother feel about it?”
“She hates it. But, fortunately, she has someone new in her life, too. Don is a great guy. He’s taking her to Hawaii tomorrow, which I am really grateful about now that there is so much going on.”
He was glad her mother was leaving, too. Anyone connected to Avery could be used as a bargaining chip, and while her dad had security because of his celebrity and his relationship with the Tremaines, he doubted her mother had any protection.
“Oh, wow,” Avery said, as Katerina set down their burritos. “You weren’t kidding. These are huge. But I think I’m up to the challenge.”
He smiled. “Me, too.”
She picked up her fork, then hesitated. “There’s something I should have said earlier, Wyatt.”
“What’s that?”
“Thank you. You saved my life this morning. You’ve been by my side every second since then, even when that meant sitting through a sob fest at a mortuary. I know you’ll say it’s part of your job, but I think you’re going above and beyond.”
“You’re welcome. Now eat.”
“You don’t have to say that twice.”
* * *
Avery dug into the delicious flavors of her spicy burrito stuffed with chicken, rice, beans, onions, salsa, and topped with guacamole and sour cream. Wyatt was right; it was probably the best burrito she’d ever had. And Wyatt was surprisingly easy to have dinner with.
He’d started out the day as a mysterious and somewhat alarming stranger. But now he felt more like a friend. She was happy he’d opened up about his family. His dad and her dad shared some bad traits in common, and for some reason that made her feel closer to Wyatt. She’d read between the lines of his story and had seen the loneliness and disappointment in his eyes as he talked about the decimation of his family. She’d felt similar emotions, even though their situations had been different.
She’d also isolated herself a bit, diving into her studies with perhaps more intensity than she might have if she hadn’t been so shattered by her parents’ divorce. Wyatt had done the same and taken it to another level by changing his name.
As she ate, she teased him with suggestions of what his name might really be, enjoying a conversation that for a brief moment in time felt almost normal.
Wyatt, of course, did not confess to his true identity, although he’d told her she was getting closer when she’d suggested his real name was George. She doubted that was true, seeing the gleam in his brown eyes, but it amused her to think of him as a George.
The staid, formal, somewhat old-fashioned name didn’t suit him at all. He really felt more like a Wyatt—a man of action, intensity, purpose, and fearless courage. She felt safe with him.
But there were other feelings, too, and those she should probably set aside for another day—a day far away from now.
As she managed to get down the last bite of her burrito, her phone rang. “It’s my mom,” she said. “I need to take this.”
“Go ahead. I’m going to pay the bill, give you some privacy. Don’t go outside without me.”
She frowned at the warning reminder but was glad when he moved over to the counter to speak to Magdalena.
“Hi, Mom. How are you?”
“I’m fine. It’s you I’m worried about. I just saw some disturbing news on the TV. There was a fire in Venice Beach at Noelle’s apartment.”
“Yes, I heard about that, too.”
“What happened? Why would someone burn down Noelle’s apartment? What was she involved in?”
“I really don’t know, Mom.”
“This is getting worse and worse. I just told Don I think I should skip the trip.”
“You are absolutely not going to do that.”
“I’m worried about you, Avery.”
“You don’t need to be. I’m okay.”
“You’d say that even if you weren’t.”
“But I am all right,” she reiterated. She really needed her mother to go to Hawaii, so she didn’t have to worry about her.
“Are you at home? Maybe I should come by and we can talk. Or you can come here?”
“I’m actually out with someone.”
“You’re out? With who?”
“A friend from work,” she said vaguely. “I’m not alone. And I really want you to go on your trip and have a good time. There’s nothing for you to do here.”
“What about the funeral arrangements?”
“I spent some time at the mortuary with Kari today. Nothing is going to happen immediately. In the end, we’ll probably just have a very small service or some kind of memorial celebration.”
“How is Kari holding up?”
“Not very well. She spent a lot of time crying today. She also said that she doesn’t have enough money to pay for anything.”
“Of course she doesn’t,” her mother said, an edge to her voice. “Kari never saved a dime and lived beyond her means. Now she wants you to pay, doesn’t she?”
“I said I’d contribute; so did Noelle’s boyfriend.”
“Well, you know I’ll help. I didn’t like Kari, but I liked Noelle very much. She was like a second daughter to me.”
“I know she felt that way about you, too. Anyway, you and Don have fun, take pictures.”
“If anything happens, Avery, promise you’ll call me. I don’t care how small or unimportant you think it is.”
“Don’t worry,” she said, deliberately avoiding that promise. “It’s all going to be fine.”
“I really hope so.”
“Everything all right?” Wyatt asked, as he returned to the table.
She slipped her phone into her bag. “My mom heard about the fire, but I convinced her to go to Hawaii tomorrow anyway.”
“Good. Then neither of you will have to worry about the other.”
“Exactly.” She got to her feet. “Shall we go?”
As they walked outside, she couldn’t help noticing the change in Wyatt’s demeanor. He’d gone from relaxed and easy to hypervigilant, keeping his hand on her arm, his gaze darting in every direction, sweeping the street for any sign of danger.
After they got in the car and Wyatt pulled out of the parking spot, she asked, “How long are we going to do this?”
“It’s a short drive to the hotel.”
“I don’t mean that. I mean this—you and me, hiding out. I have a dinner tomorrow. I have to go to work on Monday. I have a life.”
“And I want you to keep living that life, which means you’re going to have to bear with me a little longer.”
“I just don’t know what’s going to change that will suddenly make my life safer.”
“The FBI could find the person who was at Noelle’s apartment this morning. That would be a start. The investigation into the fire could also provide clues.”
“Do you really think so?” she asked doubtfully.
“I don’t know, but something will break. It always does.”
“You’ve been involved in situations like this before?”
“Not exactly like thi
s, but I’ve worked in security and intelligence long enough to know that the clues will come as long as we keep looking.”
“Okay, but we’re not exactly doing anything proactive at the moment.”
“We took a short break. We’ll get back to it.”
“Do you have a specific plan in mind?” she asked, not seeing any possible way for them to figure out what happened to Noelle. “We’re not the police or the FBI. What can we do on our own?”
“We can focus on the personal. You knew Noelle better than anyone.”
“But she didn’t tell me anything.”
“Maybe you just don’t remember. It could have been something that sounded like nothing at the time, but in retrospect…”
“I’ve already been racking my brain wondering if I missed some clue, but I don’t think so. Since Noelle started working at Nova Star, we saw each other fairly often. We had lunch at least twice a week. We went out a few times on the weekends, saw a couple of movies, went to brunch with some old high school friends…” She shrugged. “Nothing stands out.”
“These old high school friends—who were they?”
“Jenny Fordham and Lindsay Swanson. Lindsay is getting married, so we went out to toast her engagement.”
“Do they work in the aerospace industry?”
She almost laughed at that question. “No. Jenny is an assistant manager at a clothing boutique and Lindsay is a dental hygienist. We went to the Montage Hotel, gossiped about old times, and had a few glasses of champagne. That was it. Nothing mysterious about it.”
“What about Carter?”
“What about him?” she countered. “You met him today. What did you think?”
“That he was self-absorbed, more concerned about his reputation and the police’s interest in him, than his girlfriend’s death.”
“I felt the same way, but he did seem genuinely upset. Maybe he’s just processing everything. I hate to judge him on a day like today. I’m probably not acting exactly right, either.” She tapped her fingers on her legs, feeling restless and impatient. “I want to do more than wait around for something else to happen. I know I should be feeling calmer after my margarita, but I’m amped up. I don’t know what to do with all the emotion.”
“We could go for a run.”
“After that really excellent but huge burrito? No thanks. But I have to say going back to the hotel and staring at the walls doesn’t sound appealing, either.”
“I have an idea,” he said slowly.
“Oh, yeah?” she asked, a fluttery feeling in her stomach. “What’s that?”
“It’s better if I show you.”
Her nerves tightened, and her lips went dry.
If Wyatt made a move on her, she’d say no. He was very attractive. He stirred her senses, but that was just because her senses were already stirred up. And she didn’t do hook-ups. That was Noelle. That wasn’t her. She was careful, cautious, boring.
So, she’d definitely say no—wouldn’t she?
Chapter Nine
“You want me to scream?” Avery asked doubtfully, as Wyatt parked the car at a vista point overlooking a beach, just north of Malibu. “Here?”
“Not exactly here. Come on.” He got out of the car, pulled out his phone and turned on the flashlight to show a dirt path going down the bluff to the sand. Then he extended his hand.
“This seems like a bad idea,” she said, but still she slipped her hand into his.
“Well, you can tell me later if it was.”
He led her down the path, helping her over some boulders as they reached the bottom. The tide was out, and they had at least fifty yards of sandy beach. With the bright moon overhead and thousands of stars in the night sky providing just enough light, Wyatt put his phone in his pocket.
“It’s cold,” she said, as the wind whipped her hair. “But I like it.” She also liked the fact that he was still holding her hand, even though she knew she should let go.
“Me, too,” he said, squeezing her fingers. “Perfect weather for screaming. There’s no one around for miles—no houses, no people, no one to judge you.”
“Except for you. I can’t believe you have ever come out here and just screamed into the wind. That does not sound like a Wyatt Tanner move. You’re very calm, cool and collected. You let frustration go, because tomorrow is another day, right?”
“That is my usual mantra. But screaming into the wind worked really well for someone else I know, someone who was bottling things up, afraid to show how scared and unhappy and sad she was, because she was terrified of giving up control, letting loose of her emotions.”
“Who was that?” she asked, curious to hear the answer.
“My sister-in-law. When my brother went to jail, she had a three-month-old baby at home. She was trying to hold everything together, but their assets were frozen, her friends were deserting her, her parents were embarrassed, my parents had their own problems, and she was trying to be a good soldier. But inside she was raging. One day, I put her in the car, and we drove to the beach—not this one, but another one. And I told her to scream. She was reluctant at first, but after the first half-hearted effort, she got into it.”
“Did you scream with her? Because you must have shared some of her feelings of frustration and anger. Your dad ripped your family apart.”
“I was angry, and on that day, at that beach, I let out the loudest yell of my life. It was the first time in my life I just let it rip. I felt better. So did my sister-in-law. I think you will, too.”
She frowned. “I’m just not a screamer.”
“Never? Not even…”
At his laugh, her cheeks warmed with embarrassment. “I wasn’t talking about that.”
“I know. You’re easy to tease. You have a sweet quality about you.”
She wasn’t thrilled with that adjective. “Sweet doesn’t sound awesome. In fact, it sounds close to boring. Noelle told me many, many times how boring I was.”
“I don’t think you’re boring at all. I also don’t think you see yourself the way others see you.”
“I see myself just fine, thank you. And Noelle wasn’t the only one to suggest I could lead a more exciting life.”
“Excitement is a relative thing. You have a passion for what you do.”
“I do,” she agreed, waving her free hand toward the night sky. “Look at all those stars. There’s so much out there we know nothing about. How can anyone not be fascinated by the universe?”
He smiled. “I don’t know. You’re certainly making me more interested.”
As his fingers tightened around hers, and the moonlight played across the strong planes of his face, she had a feeling he was far more interested in her than the stars, and she sucked in a quick breath of nerves and anticipation. She didn’t know exactly what he saw when he looked at her, but she knew what she saw when she looked at him: a man of power, drive, strength, courage, compassion, and remarkable kindness. He was rough around the edges, guarded and cryptic at times, but there was something about him that encouraged her trust. Maybe it was the personal story he’d shared over dinner, the fact that he’d opened himself up, revealed a side of himself that she doubted he showed many people. Maybe that’s why she couldn’t let go of his hand. Or maybe it was the incredible physical pull she felt toward him.
As his gaze clung to hers, the air seemed to sizzle between them. “I don’t know what you want from me,” she said finally. Even though what she should have said was that she didn’t know what she wanted from herself.
“I want you to let go of the emotions that are making your head spin. I want you to be whoever you want to be—the woman who holds it all in, who hangs onto control with utter desperation, or the woman who lets it all go. There’s no judgement here.”
“Are you sure no one can hear us? Because I really don’t want the cops to come running.”
“There’s no one around for miles. And this doesn’t have to be about yelling. Just talk it out. Say what you’re feel
ing.”
“I’m numb.”
“You were numb. You’re not anymore.”
That was true. “I’m angry.”
“Louder,” he encouraged.
“I’m angry,” she yelled, feeling a bit ridiculous and yet liking the sound of her voice on the wind. The waves crashed on to the beach in front of her, almost in answer to her statement, as if the ocean was in turmoil, too.
“Why are you angry?” Wyatt challenged.
“Because it’s not fair. Noelle was too young to die.”
“Say it again,” he ordered.
“She was too young to die. It’s not fair,” she said more loudly.
“And what’s happening to you—is that fair?” he asked. “Should you have to hide out? Should you be afraid to go home? Should you be planning the funeral of your best friend? Is that fair?”
“No, it’s not fair.” She let go of his hand and turned toward the sea, screaming into the wind, into the onrushing waves. “It’s not fair! It’s not fair! It’s not fair!”
The words ripped through her again and again, louder and louder, and then she felt the last bit of her control snap like a branch in a storm.
The tears she’d been holding back streamed down her face. Sobs erupted from deep in her chest. She could barely breathe. A moment of panic hit her. This was why she didn’t like losing control, because now she was floundering, breathing too fast, not able to rein anything in. She was drowning in a sea of feelings, and she didn’t know how she could get through it.
But then Wyatt turned her around and pulled her against his chest. He wrapped his strong arms around her, tucking her head under his chin, and she held on to him like he was a lifeboat in a stormy sea.
He wasn’t going to let her drown, and as his strength surrounded her with warmth and courage, she started to feel the ground beneath her feet again. The fear receded.
Her sobs slowed down, as did her tears. She was able to breathe again.
“You did good,” Wyatt whispered in her ear.
She lifted her head, wiping the tears from her face as she stepped away from him. “I feel like a fool.”
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