Dangerous To Love

Home > Other > Dangerous To Love > Page 176


  My police officer ex is pounding the shit out of my former teaching assistant. And then Eric gets some leverage and starts dealing some bad blows, too.

  A broom appears out of nowhere, attached by the hands to a little old lady screaming, “You two stop that!” It’s Effie, and she’s smashing the broom down as hard as her little bony arms will let her.

  Mark looks up and gets a face full of straw. Effie cracks the broom handle hard into Eric’s shin. Even I wince. That’s got to hurt.

  “Are you two insane?” I scream. Effie lifts the broom, which I realize she must have grabbed from the custodian’s closet. She holds the straw part high in the air, ready to hit someone again.

  I kind of think she likes this.

  “I am so done with this day,” I announce.

  “Either one of you try to fight again or hurt a hair on Carrie’s head and I’ll beat you!” Effie hisses.

  Eric rolls his eyes. He stands, gives Mark a glare, then storms out of the room without a single word to me. My arm throbs and I want to take all the white-hot fury inside me out on him. I don’t. I do what I always do. I freeze and say nothing. Later, I’ll think of all the perfect ways I could have told him off.

  But right now I just wish I were invisible. I involuntarily touch the scratches on my wrist. My skin is wet. If I look down, I’ll see blood.

  Mark’s breathing hard through his nose, his hands on his hips, his eyes on Effie. “I could have you arrested for assaulting an officer with that thing, Effie.”

  “And if you did, the chief would come after you, darling,” she says in a tight, sick voice. She isn’t afraid of Mark. At all. And most people have a little fear of the police, especially when they were in uniform. But not Effie. Effie Cummings. Why did that ring a—ooooooooh.

  Chief Cummings might have something to say about having his mother arrested after she broke up a fight between one of his officers and a professor at the college. No wonder she is so defiant.

  Mark gives me a look that makes me gasp. It’s a blend of lust and love and fury and yearning. It’s the kind of look that makes you wish the rest of the world didn’t exist.

  “I’ll keep that little fucker away from you, Carrie,” he promises.

  “Language!” Effie huffs. What is it about people and swear words? If there’s ever a time to use the word “fuck,” I’d say it’s now.

  “He was trying to warn me,” I explain. My own breath is ragged. Mark needs to stop looking at me like that. My blood heats up and desire pools in places where I don’t need to feel such urgency. This shift, from fear and surprise and danger to arousal and want and need is uncomfortable.

  But I can’t help it.

  Mark’s shifted, too. He’s become someone I barely recognize. Where did all this dominant, possessive, macho stuff come from?

  “Warn you? He wasn’t warning you, Carrie. He was threatening you!” Mark says, exploding.

  “I’m threatening you, Mark,” Effie says in a tremulous voice. “You keep shouting at Carrie like that and I’ll….”

  Mark casually reaches over and plucks the broom from Effie’s hands like he’s taking a straw from a fast food counter display. “Right. I’m so scared, Effie.”

  She glares at him. “No more toffee cookies for you!”

  He bites back a laugh. The tension in this room has gone from insane to flat-out absurd.

  Effie looks at me. “You want me to stay?”

  I take a second before answering, then reach down and grab my backpack. “No. Thank you. If anyone’s leaving, it’s going to be me. I’ll take my lunch now.”

  “It’s 10:11 a.m.,” Mark says, voice dripping with sarcasm.

  “Really?” I say, giving it right back. “I thought it was I-don’t-give-a-fuck o’clock.”

  And with that I storm out. I swear I hear Effie clapping in the background.

  I go out into the hall and pivot suddenly, taking a small set of stairs I’m pretty sure Mark doesn’t know about. When I hit the bottom, I stop, then hide in a tiny file storage room. I’ll bet this is where Adele Mariega stored all these “missing” emails. The thought makes me yearn for my dad, and a pang of sadness hits out of the blue, as if it arrived like a bird landing on a tree branch, its weight making the tree bend slightly.

  I cry. I have no idea how long I’m in here, but after a while I realize I need to go home and eat. Check on Minnie. Come back and oh, you know, do my actual job. The one I’ve only had for five days. The one that I’ll get fired from if I keep not showing up.

  I sniff and wipe my nose carefully on the inside of my shirt. I stand and walk toward the doors to the parking garage. On hot, sunny days like this I try to park in the shade, and this morning I was lucky. I scored an easy spot.

  As I walk on the brushed concrete floor, lost in my thoughts, it hits me that Amy was just like this. Two days ago she was leaving work, probably thinking about her own problems, when suddenly, out of nowhere—

  Rough hands cover my mouth and nose, an arm looping around my waist. I’m kicking and thrashing, unable to move as I’m lifted into the air. One eye is covered by vicious fingers that dig into my face, muting me. My backpack is still on my shoulder, weighing me down, the straps pinned between me and this motherfucker who is hurting me.

  Hurt.

  Ow.

  Stop.

  No.

  All the words I want to say can’t come out as the fingers cover my lips. I can’t open my mouth enough to bite. I’m off balance in midair as I speed through the dark lot toward a corner, around a giant pillar. My throat is dry and even if I could open my mouth, I don’t think I could scream.

  A man’s breath pours into my ear, the sound of exertion clear.

  No. I am not being abducted. This is not happening.

  Red fury fills everything. Carrie disappears, replaced instead by my own blood, billowing and ballooning with greatness and survival. I no longer have arms and legs, vocal cords and hair. I am just red, rising blood and I need to push so hard I can be released.

  Unleashed.

  “See how easy it is?” the man says in my ear. “You really don’t understand what you’re dealing with here, Carrie.”

  I know that voice.

  Oh, God.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  I try driving my heel into his foot but he moves and laughs softly in my ear as I twist and struggle, my neck hurting. He’s pushing on the hollow between my collarbone and the base of my neck, the feeling making me gag.

  “This isn’t a joke, you know,” he says. I’m pulled behind a car. He drags me as I rake his arm with my fingernails. He makes a sound of disgust in the back of his throat but says nothing.

  Soon my feet are off the ground. I weigh nothing to him. What, exactly, is he doing?

  As he pulls me around a pillar I get pissed. Red rage fills my eyes and I elbow him as I go limp. The backpack slides and gives me some leverage. Dead weight is hard no matter how strong you are, and my movement throws him off balance just as I kick backwards and up. My heel catches a thick, soft patch of skin and the air goes out of his lungs.

  Aha.

  Target hit.

  “Mark!” I gasp.

  He’s still got a death grip on me, but now I can see him. His eyes are frightening. Cold. Calculated.

  The eyes of a killer.

  “Shut up if you want to stay alive,” he hisses, yanking me to the ground under a set of metal stairs. Just as we crouch, I hear the clack clack clack of someone in dress shoes running. The sounds are hard and definitive. Not high heels.

  Men’s dress shoes.

  Mark’s breathing slows as he controls it. Soon he’s completely silent. His eyes cast around the parking garage. He’s like a robot.

  A robot designed to protect me.

  Great. No one bothered to tell me I’m secretly Sarah Connor and that I now have my own Terminator.

  “What are you—” His fingers silence me, shoving in my mouth with so much force I feel the corner of my
mouth tear. He covers my lips with his palm. I try to bite but he knows how to move his fingers just right. Somehow, he can gag me and keep me quiet without giving me any way to fight back.

  How does he know how to do this?

  My hair is pinned between my shoulder and the cold, dirty wall behind me. Mark’s hand tastes salty and thick in my mouth. My lips are dry and buzzing. Copper fills my senses as I taste blood. My heart pounds so hard in my chest it feels like my eyes move with each heartbeat. I close my eyes because everything starts to spin.

  Is Mark the kidnapper from the video? Is Amy being held captive by…Mark?

  The sound of men’s footsteps recedes slowly. I hear a metal door open, then the slow wheeze of it closing.

  Click.

  Mark lets go of my mouth. He gives me a fierce look. He doesn’t need to explain.

  Be quiet.

  I look down and realize why he didn’t use his other hand to make me be silent.

  He’s holding a gun.

  I make a squeaking sound. I can’t help it. My knee drops to the ground and I feel a sickening crack. I can’t take my eyes off that gun. My nose fills with the scent of sweat and panic. I can’t tell if it’s Mark’s or mine. One look at his face, though, tells me he’s not panicking.

  It’s the opposite.

  He’s in complete control.

  “Are you going to kidnap me, too?” I hiss. I know I shouldn’t speak, but I can’t help it. “Like Amy?”

  He tilts his head, jaw tight. His tongue goes between his cheek and teeth and he gives me a look. You know that look. Eyebrows raised, eyes angry and narrow, cheeks raised in disbelief.

  “You think I kidnapped Amy?”

  No.

  The word No pops into my head without hesitation, the sound of it like someone clapping. Just once. It feels brutal, like a BB someone shot into my head, ricocheting around.

  No no no no no.

  But I don’t say that. I just stare at him.

  And wait.

  “Jesus, Carrie.” His voice is filled with so much hurt my stomach drops. “Christ,” he gasps, looking away. If I stabbed him through the spleen I don’t think I could hurt him more. “You think that of me?”

  I let my other knee drop, my skirt catching on a piece of metal in the concrete behind me. The sickening sound of cloth tearing fills my ears. It feels like my heart being shredded by his tone of voice. There’s real anguish in the words he’s saying. What am I supposed to think right now?

  What am I supposed to feel?

  “I don’t know,” I finally say. Mark’s looking right at me and I can’t meet his eyes. I feel ashamed. I feel like I did something wrong. He’s the one who just grabbed me. He hurt me. He…I don’t even know what he’s about to do with me.

  And I’m the one who has an apology in my throat? What?

  “I’m trying to protect you,” he spits out.

  “You have a funny way of showing that,” I say as I touch my cut lip gingerly.

  “He was coming after you.”

  “Who?”

  “Eric.”

  “Eric?” I laugh. “Eric wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

  Mark looks pointedly at my wrist. Oh. Right. That. The bleeding stopped but the blood’s smeared all over. Then again, I have blood on my face, too.

  It’s all mixed together, just like my thoughts. My fears. My feelings.

  My everything.

  “All I know, Mark,” I say with an exhaustion that feels thousands of years old, “is that you seem to know exactly who took Amy. You know a lot more than you’re telling anyone, including the police chief. And so help me God, if you hurt Amy after what you did to my dad—”

  Mark’s hand goes over my mouth again. I shove it away.

  “Carrie, you’re in dangerous territory here—”

  “Fuck you, Mark.”

  His head snaps back in horror. It would be comical if we weren’t crouching in a parking garage under a set of stairs while I bleed all over and he holds a gun.

  “What?” He knows I don’t like to say curse words. In fact, he’s never heard them out of my mouth. Dad always said that just because I was raised by a bar owner didn’t mean I couldn’t be a lady.

  It’s time to stop worrying about being a lady when my ex-boyfriend may have kidnapped my best friend and might be kidnapping me, too.

  “Fuck. You,” I say with an icy clarity. It makes my skin go cold and my racing heart come to a screeching halt. All the blood in his face drains out. Haunted eyes look at me. He starts to say something, then stops himself, looking around the garage suddenly.

  I stand. He grabs my injured wrist and yanks, hard. I jerk back (fuck you) and my hip whacks against a pillar. He loses his balance but hangs on and I fall forward, cracking my head on a concrete-covered metal stair before landing on his body.

  And the world goes black.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  The first thing I feel is dryness. My mouth is the sahara. I pry my lips apart. It’s like pulling a wax strip off your shin in a do-it-yourself home waxing kit.

  “Carrie?” says a man’s voice.

  “Daddy?” I whisper.

  “No.” The man’s voice comes out, so soft and shocked. “No.”

  And then I fade out again. I dream of Daddy. I dream good dreams. When I wake up, my mouth is even more parched and my head throbs.

  I smile, thinking about Daddy, and how—

  Oh. That’s right. He’s dead.

  And Amy’s gone.

  Amy. Mark. My head. The parking garage—

  I scream and sit up. I’m in a stranger’s bed, in a tiny room with lace curtains on a small window. The walls are cheap wood paneling, painted with flat off-white paint that is smudged and streaked.

  I scream louder and try to get up.

  My vision pinpoints. I reach up to touch my head and feel thick, matted hair. Strong hands touch my shoulders and I writhe to get away. The pain in my head becomes unbearable and—

  I’m out.

  * * *

  I wake up in complete darkness. The moon makes little shadows against the wall. Its light streams through the lacy patterns of the sheers hanging in the window. The sound of someone stirring catches my ear. My jaw feels wired. My eye socket is a crater of pain.

  I try to sit up. I catch some hair with my elbow. A chunk pulls out, the tearing feeling in my scalp so gritty. Nausea pours through me.

  A man’s voice murmurs in the distance. It pauses. It starts again. A telephone conversation? I see someone in the other room. The door to this room—bedroom?—is wide open.

  If I’m being held captive, they aren’t doing a very good job.

  My fingers play with the thin, soft cotton of the blanket I’m under. My legs are bare. My knees push against the fabric. I feel small bands of pain in them, a rawness. I pull back the covers.

  My knees are bright red, like ulcers. My skirt is torn, and if it’s nighttime, I definitely missed the rest of the work day.

  And my head feels like an overstuffed balloon filled with marshmallows.

  In a microwave.

  “I’m close to taking her to the emergency room, but…” That’s all I hear the man say. Where am I? I look slowly to my left as I sit up. My hip screams. I see a glass of water on the nightstand. I reach for it. To my surprise, my arm and hand are fine.

  I start drinking greedily from the glass and then gag, but resume drinking. I sniff and look around. The pain in my head is less, but my vision is weird. Not blurry. Not double. Just…off.

  Footsteps fill the air and then the doorway is blocked by a man’s body.

  My eyes adjust in the darkness.

  Mark.

  “Where’s Amy?” I croak out. My voice sounds like broken glass mixed with jawbreakers and running chainsaws.

  “If I knew, she’d be here,” Mark says solemnly. “Trust me.” He steps forward and I can see his face. He’s worried about me.

  He just kidnapped me—why the look of worry?
<
br />   I snort. Blood flies out of my nose. He rushes to hand me a box of tissue and I stuff one oh-so elegantly up my nostril to stem the flow of blood.

  “You toog me,” I say. “How do I doe you didn dake her?”

  “What?” He’s trying not to laugh.

  I pull the tissue plug out of my nose and glare at him. “You took me. How do I know you didn’t take her?”

  “I didn’t take you. I rescued you.”

  I touch the wound on my head gingerly, then look down at my knees and feel my mouth with my fingertips. “You have a very, very painful way of doing that.”

  His face falls. He sits on the edge of the bed and leans forward with his elbows on his knees. Thick, strong hands—with no gun in them now—rake his hair.

  “This is not how I was supposed to do this,” he says slowly. A long sigh escapes him. “I’m so sorry you got hurt.” He pauses. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

  His words from this morning run through my head yet again:

  I’m not who you think I am.

  “What’s going on?” I drink more water, then rub some on the cut corner of my mouth. I don’t feel fear right now. Mark’s not acting like someone who kidnapped me for bad reasons. Then again, are there ever good reasons for being kidnapped? But I get the sense that I’m not in danger.

  At least, not the same kind of danger Amy’s in.

  He turns and his eyes focus on my now-empty glass of water. “Want more?” he asks, ignoring my question. The thin scar along his jaw stands out. He’s tense. He should be. He hurt me. Physically, this time.

  My stomach growls like a ferocious beast.

  He gives me a sad half smile. “Water and food coming up.”

  “Are those prison provisions?” I ask.

  “You’re no one’s prisoner,” he calls back.

  I realize quite suddenly where I am. One look across the room is all it takes. Mark’s uniform, neatly pressed and hung, is in a closet on the other side of the small bedroom. The little closet door is open and a naked bulb illuminates the sparse set of clothes.

  He always wore casual stuff, like t-shirts and jeans. And then there were his police officer uniforms. I never saw him wear anything but those two items.

 

‹ Prev