“No, I’m fine. More than.” He hardly noticed the throbbing in his thigh as he slid almost all the way out and then buried himself deep. “I’ve never felt better in my life.”
Valerie woke to a daylight-bright room and the silence of a storm now passed. According to the bedside clock, it was just after two in the afternoon. She blinked. Had she really slept seven hours straight? That hadn’t happened in months.
Then again, she’d been worn out in more ways than one.
A warm glow spread through her body at the memories of making love to Scott, and she rolled toward him. He lay on his back, hands tucked under his pillow, covers kicked back to reveal every inch of naked skin.
Asleep, he looked more like the man she’d known for a brief time before she’d gone on the run. Less intense, more easygoing. Like someone who took life as it came and knew how to laugh at its absurdities. Relaxed.
Freckles she hadn’t noticed before sprinkled his shoulders and the bridge of his nose. His tan lines were faint, his arms and legs only a few shades darker than the rest of him. When Valerie got too much sun, she turned dark as a walnut. Did he turn lobster red and then peel? She wanted to know that and so much more.
Based on his T-shirts, he liked alternative music. He had a big camera, and he’d been in jail. But an acute desire to know everything about him washed over her.
Did he prefer beer or wine, dogs or cats, ocean or forest? Did he have a favorite color? A string of ex-girlfriends? Did he like to read fiction or nonfiction or—God, forbid—nothing at all?
She sighed and took in everything from his dark blond surfer locks down to his neatly clipped toenails and all the mesmerizing muscles and evidence of manhood in between. His scars still shocked her, but they didn’t bother her. The damage was merely another facet of him that made him unique, like the shape of his lips, the rich timbre of his voice, and the mesmerizing blue of his eyes.
And she supposed it was the same for him when he looked at her scar. He sure as hell hadn’t been bothered by it a few hours ago. Letting the covers drop, she stretched her shoulders back and mashed her boobs to her chest so she could see the mark left by her attacker’s long blade.
Scott had called it her “badge of bravery.” Hesitantly, she ran her fingers along the raised ridge of skin from end to end, forcing herself to see and feel and own this dreaded part of her. You survived. You did your best. The fourteen-year-old girl she had been deserved to be praised for her efforts, didn’t she? She deserved the sympathy and love that no one had been able to give her since she lost her dads. She wasn’t naive enough to think she’d magically learn to love her scar overnight, but she didn’t have to let it rule her either. Why couldn’t she rewrite the story she’d been telling herself for years?
Maybe eventually, if she worked at it, she’d start to believe the new story deep in her soul.
My badge of bravery.
The man who’d given her that gift stirred and opened his eyes, caught her staring. “Morning.” He gave her a smile that made her heart skip. “See anything you like?”
She let her gaze roam slowly over his body. “Well, I’m rather fond of your freckles. They’re cute.”
“Cute?” He scowled and sat up. “Fuck that.” Pushing to his feet and snagging his boxers off the floor, he said, “There is nothing ‘cute’ about me.” His voice was playful, but with an undercurrent that hinted she’d accidentally hit a nerve.
“Hey,” she rose to her knees and grabbed his arm.
His gaze strayed to her breasts and lower, and his expression softened as she tugged him close. “What?” he asked, focused on her mouth now.
“You are cute.”
His expression retreated behind a blank mask.
“And gorgeous.” She combed both hands into the hair at his temples. “Handsome. Totally ripped. Smart. Fun.” Their gazes locked as she dragged her nails down his back and a shiver ran through him. “And so freakin’ sexy it almost hurts to look at you.”
He shook his head and chuckled. “You’re good. But you don’t need to stroke my ego, Spiderchica. Save your energy for more important parts.” He rocked his hips against her and captured her mouth with a hard, demanding kiss, nothing like his patient exploration from the early morning, but equally thrilling.
Heat spiraled through her veins.
Lifting her, he backed away from the bed and set her onto her feet. His hands cupped her face and he kissed her deeply while guiding her toward the wall, the heat building between them like an inferno. “Turn around?” he asked, breathless, blue eyes blazing.
Excitement jolted through her. Yes. She pivoted and pressed her hands to the cool, rough wall, spreading her legs as she looked over her shoulder at him. “You going to give me a thorough pat-down this time?”
Rather than answer, he made a strangled noise and stepped into her, wrapping one arm over her shoulder so he could knead her breast while the other banded across her hips. His hand skimmed down her belly and between her legs, and she moaned at the feel of his hot mouth on the side of her neck as his fingers slid inside her.
“Hang tight,” he said in a gravelly voice that scraped over her like the rough palm cupping her breast. His body retreated for a second as he reached for a condom from the small pile strewn across the nightstand.
He rolled it on and molded his body to hers, his mouth picking up where he’d left off as his hands roamed freely. She jolted when he found the spot that drove her wild, and arched back, rising onto her toes, seeking relief from the ache within.
“Scott, now,” she whispered, biting her lip to keep from begging.
His mouth sought hers, licking, exploring, biting. And then he slid inside her in a powerful thrust that made her knees buckle. The delicious onslaught continued as he pumped his hips and kept up the full-body assault with his warm hands. Delirious with pleasure, she was hot enough to melt into the floor. She could hardly keep up with her breath, and little sounds of ecstasy mingled with Scott’s in an erotic chorus.
Breaking the kiss, he said, “God, baby, you’re fucking amazing.”
She felt amazing.
He hooked an arm around her hips and planted his other hand next to hers on the wall, his thrusts increasing to a frenzied pace. “Come on,” he said, sounding almost in pain. “Come for me, V.” He gently scraped his teeth along the soft skin above her shoulder, and she gasped.
Gossamer threads held her in suspension, in thrall to the blissful sensations that hit her so fast and hard she wanted to cry for mercy and implore him to never stop. She focused on the rough glide of his erection as he drove deep, ratcheting up the heat with every stroke. Pressing her fingers into the wall, she rode the crest of pleasure until the feverish tension snapped and she went limp as her body dissolved into pure light, every nerve humming like an electrical wire.
Scott came soon after and kissed her jaw softly as he pumped a few more times and pulled out. He tumbled them both to the bed and spooned with her, their heavy breaths mingling, bodies damp with sweat.
“God damn,” he said when he’d caught his breath. “That was…”
“Yeah.” She rolled to face him, her stomach dancing with happiness and nerves. “It was…” Amazing. Earth-shattering. Life-changing.
He glanced behind her at the alarm clock. “Fifteen hundred,” he said with a sigh before planting a quick kiss on her lips. “I guess we should try to get some actual work done.” Caressing her cheek, he said, “But you’re making that really difficult.”
Her heart tap-danced. “Ditto.”
“Shower first?”
She nodded and sat up as he rose from the bed, every gorgeous naked inch of him. “No tattoos,” she said, propping herself on her hands. “How’d you get through the Marines without one?”
He chuckled. “I know, right? They’re practically mandatory.” His smile dropped and he rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. “In juvie, too.”
Valerie wanted to kick herself for bringing it up now.
“
I haven’t really thought about why before, but I’ve never wanted ink. The idea of handing over control to someone else, giving them the ability to mark me forever has never appealed to me.” He crossed his arms. “There was very little I had control over when I was younger, even my body. So now I’m reluctant to relinquish it. I don’t trust easily.”
But he trusted her, and her heart did a slow flip as she realized now how much of a gift—and responsibility—he’d given her.
He held out his hand and she took it, letting him pull her to her feet and toward the shower.
Twenty minutes later, Scott set a mug of steaming coffee and a bowl of instant oatmeal next to Valerie’s computer and joined her at the dining table with his own breakfast.
“Thanks,” she said, without looking up from the keyboard. She had swept her hair up into a high ponytail before their shower, and several damp strands curled around her ears.
God, what was it about her? He was quickly getting in over his head with this woman. Neither of them could afford the distraction, but it was too late to turn back now. He was hers for as long as she’d have him.
Right now, she needed an experienced tracker and killer on her side, but if they ever got their lives back, that would change. Even if she could love him, he’d never trap her in the sham of marriage. Never keep her tied to a man like him, who’d been born to violence.
And, hell, when had he started thinking about love? He massaged the back of his neck. What a fucking goat rope.
“You’re not eating,” she said, glancing his way. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, just thinking.” He took a bite of the goopy oats. Too sweet. “We can’t get anything done if we stay holed up in here.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Too close to the bed?”
He laid down his spoon and lowered his voice. “I think we proved that we don’t need a bed.”
Her face flushed a sweet shade of pink, clashing with the red sweater Tara had left for her. The way it snugged across Valerie’s breasts almost made him want to kiss Tara in thanks.
He resumed eating with great effort, welcoming the distraction of scalding coffee. “What are you trying to get off the Aggressor computers?”
“Originally, I was hoping my email conversations with Duncan would still be on the mail server, but everything pertaining to the illegal hacks he assigned me has been conveniently deleted. I copied them onto a thumb drive and hid the drive at work, but it’s not like we can waltz in there and get it.” She frowned and ate a spoonful of oatmeal. “So, now I’m trying to get into the servers where sensitive documents are stored, hoping to find any piece of evidence that helps us.”
She sighed. “I have a backup plan since we can’t wait around for Eli to connect to the remote server. Everything’s finally in place to start a coordinated attack on Duncan’s friends and family, as well other people at Aggressor. I’ve already sent a friend request to his wife Cathy on Facebook posing as a member of a private book club group she’s in, and I have a few other lures out there.” Her fingers tapped at the keyboard again. “Did you know Sid collects stamps?”
“Really?” Scott shook his head and tried to imagine the uber-pumped security specialist carefully placing a stamp into a book with tweezers. If that’s what collectors did. “How does that help us?”
“We can go phishing.” She smiled. “I can tailor my email to something he’ll be more inclined to open.”
“Like what?”
“A message that appears to come from his favorite website saying their server was hacked and he should log in to change his password. Hopefully, he’ll assume he accidentally signed up using his work address and not think about it too hard.”
“It almost seems cruel, tricking people like that.” As much as Scott needed and admired her skills, the things she—and others—could do were enough to make him want to live in a cabin in the woods, completely off the grid. “Makes me glad you’re on the right side.”
“I wasn’t always.” She cast her eyes downward and bit her lower lip. “I hate doing this to Sid too, but I’m not going to mess with his personal info. I’m only using him as a door into Aggressor.”
“I know. It’s okay.” He squeezed her hand. “Do you have to create an entire website for that?”
She smiled. “No, I’m going to grab an unused piece of real estate on the deep web and create a splash page. If Sid clicks the link, he’ll get to that screen and then receive a server error if he tries any of the page links. By then, I’ll have control of his computer, and once I’m in the network, I can access anything that’s not encrypted. Assuming there’s anything to find at this point. I’m sure Aggressor is even more locked down than ever, and I expect Duncan would cover his tracks. But if anything’s still there… We have to try.”
“Definitely.” What else were they going to do? Scott’s head spun. She hadn’t been idle during her time on the run. Not even close. She’d spent every waking hour putting together pieces of the puzzle, planning her own attacks, and researching.
Reconnaissance and surveillance. At her core, she was a patient observer, just like him. Only she tracked targets, searched for defensive weaknesses, and attacked online instead of in the field. She cloaked herself in bits and bytes as effectively as he concealed himself in a ghillie suit.
And like him, she’d suffered, she’d been scarred. There wasn’t another woman in the world who could understand and connect with him the way she did. Fuck.
Was this pain in his heart, this fear in every cell of his body, what falling in love felt like?
Even as he shrank from the idea, part of him wanted to open his arms and embrace the joy of it. Embrace Valerie. He hadn’t been touched—not in any meaningful way—in years. Had shied away from human contact even. And now he couldn’t get enough of it. Not when it came from her.
You’ll hurt her someday. The thought sliced him like a knife to the gut, but he couldn’t deny the truth of it. He’d hurt everyone important in his life. Why would Valerie be any different? If she made him angry, would he lose his infamous cool and strike out?
With his dad, it always started with verbal abuse and escalated until The Dick snapped and beat the shit out of his mom. Then the honeymoon phase where he was remorseful and apologetic. His dad would go for weeks, sometimes months, treating her like a queen before he lashed out again, each time worse than the last.
Scott had been through endless rounds of counseling in juvie. He knew not everyone “loved” like that. He knew his dad wasn’t normal. He also knew his dad’s blood ran in his veins, and he’d been raised on brutality. He couldn’t change what he came from. Scott had loved his father—the way a dog loves the master who kicks him—but he’d still put three bullets in the man’s chest. He wanted to believe he was different from his old man, but was he?
Was he the protector Valerie took him for, or was he The Hulk, calm as all fuck…until he was pushed too far and he mowed down everything and everyone in his path?
The things she could do were incredible. She was incredible. He wanted her like he’d never wanted anyone or anything in his life. She filled a void in him he had denied for years. She was smart and beautiful and fun and sexy as hell, and Scott flat-out wanted her for himself.
But he couldn’t risk it.
His chest tightened like a screw in a bolt. How the hell he was going to let her go?
“Scott?” Valerie asked, pulling him back into the moment with a slight frown on her pretty face. “Did that make sense?”
Get your head back in the game, Kramer.
He took a deep breath, rolled all his messy feelings into a little ball, and mentally tossed them into space, blanking his expression as he let his eyelids drop into ambivalence. “Yeah.” He nodded. “I got the gist.”
No need to make her explain it all. He trusted her now, and this was her area of expertise. He had his own.
“Okay. I’ll start working on laying the trap for Sid.”
“Before you do t
hat, let’s look at Hollowell’s calendar. I think we should be surveilling him in person. We need to get to know our enemy. His schedule, his habits, what matters to him, who he meets with, if he cheats on his wife…”
Her gaze settled on the scarred wood of the table. “It’s a huge risk, but I agree. If he’s selling state secrets or even corporate secrets from the companies Aggressor has been hacking into, he might have to meet his buyers in real life. There’s a lot of law enforcement lurking on the dark net. In the past they’ve even had officers working undercover as moderators on illegal forums, and confidential informants running VPNs.” She must have seen the question in his eyes. “Virtual Private Networks are a way to let users access a computer server over the Internet, theoretically in anonymity. Everything’s encrypted, so it should be a secure way to share files and communicate. Businesses use them all the time to allow employees to log in remotely.”
“Why theoretically anonymous?” Scott asked.
“Anyone working through a VPN should be untraceable back to his original location, but an unscrupulous VPN owner can monitor and log everything. In a big case a few years ago, a hacker learned about a vulnerability in a cell phone network’s computer system and used it to access the company’s user names and passwords. Remember when all those celebrity photos were leaked?”
He nodded, growing less and less enamored by the minute of the smart phone sitting in his old apartment.
“That was him,” she said. “He logged into the movie stars’ accounts to access their text message history. Anyway, he later used a well-known, hacker-friendly VPN to log into a Secret Service agent’s account to look for information about ongoing investigations and upcoming raids. Turned out the VPN was run by a confidential informant for the feds, who watched the whole thing play out onscreen.”
“Jesus.”
“Right?” Valerie laughed self-consciously. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to babble. My point was that Duncan might worry about communicating with his buyers, even on the dark web. Unless, of course, he has a VPN he trusts.”
“So we cover all the angles and hope like hell we catch a break.”
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