by Maeve Binchy
‘Right, Mam.’
His eyes followed her as she left the room. Normally she would have made him tea, given him a slice of apple tart and tried to draw him out. Mam always wanted to know what Anthony was thinking. He was mainly thinking about music, which was hard to explain sometimes. But today she was totally different. As if he weren’t all that important or something. Or as if Mam had her mind outside the house, away from the family. But that couldn’t be. Surely?
Anthony went to the fridge to get himself something to eat. It was almost empty. On one plate were two lamb chops, on another two bacon rashers and two eggs. There had been plenty of food in it yesterday.
Something very strange indeed was happening here.
In the shopping mall Rosie had managed to draw several passers-by to the cosmetic counter. She had a good manner with the customers.
‘Excuse me, is that a new jacket? It’s beautiful.’ Then she would offer the lady her little business card. ‘I’m from this company and we are offering complimentary make-up at our counter. Perhaps with this jacket you might consider a more vibrant lipstick? Anyway, do come in and see what we have. No obligation to buy …’
Bella, who ran the counter, watched her admiringly. She was impressed. This girl, Rosie, had style. She would offer her a six-week training course with the company. She had exactly the pert, lively interest in strangers that would make her a good saleswoman. And she was tough too. She was quick to work out her percentage of everything the customers bought. Rosie was always faster than the calculator. She would enjoy six weeks in London.
Helen had been called to the principal’s office.
‘This must stop now, Miss Nolan, this moment. There will be no tour of Paris for pupils from this school. Not this Easter, not any Easter.’
‘But – they’re so looking forward to it, it would break their hearts!’
‘Which is why it should never have been suggested.’
‘But it’s all planned, they know all the places they are going to visit …’
‘Places they are not going to visit.’
‘But it’s all arranged!’
‘Then you must un-arrange it, Miss Nolan, today. There is no insurance in the world that would cover this. You would need four teachers, not one, and even then it’s not possible. It’s most irresponsible of you to promise the pupils something that can’t be delivered. I will hear from you before the end of school today that it has all been dismantled.’
Liam had found the day very long. He had got the little cards printed and then he had gone as arranged to meet Mash Macken and the other lads. Last night in the bar had been silent and awkward. Mash was doing his best to tell them that he would do anything to save the business, that he had done everything in fact: invested his own money and mortgaged his house. He was going to Australia penniless. He wanted them to come to the premises and take what would be useful.
Liam hated going there. So many mornings had begun with mugs of tea and a laugh about the day ahead. The others felt the same. And they knew there was no future for a skilled carpenter, joiner or plumber. Not the way the market was at the moment. They all wanted to be away from it but Mash insisted they take anything and everything.
‘I’ve nowhere to store things, Mash,’ Liam had said in desperation. ‘I know that’s a lovely bit of wood, but honestly, I’ve nowhere to put it. The house is full, with three big children there as well as Dee and myself …’
‘Will they help to support you, the children?’ Mash was aching for some kind of hope in all this gloomy business.
Liam paused for a moment. Mash Macken wanted to hear some good news for someone before he took a flight to the other side of the world. Liam gave it to him.
‘Oh God, Mash, they’re the finest family you could wish for. They’ll be a great support, the three of them.’
He saw Mash relax a little and he thought for the first time how good it would be if this was really true. If he really did have a son and two daughters who understood how hard it was for their parents to keep supporting them. And because he was Liam he immediately felt guilty about that thought.
Chapter Four
Liam arrived home at around the same time as his daughter Helen.
Helen seemed to have totally forgotten Liam’s woes as she began to list her own before she was even in the door.
‘Such a narrow-minded man, such a bad person to be in charge of a school!’ she said. ‘How did someone like that get to be principal? And they wonder why children leave school half educated!’ She came in and flung herself down at the kitchen table.
‘There’s no supper,’ Anthony said.
‘Oh, for God’s sake, Anthony, think about something else, not always about food. I’ll eat whatever’s going, not that I ever want to eat again. Wait until I tell you what’s happened! Mam – are you listening?’
‘No, Helen,’ her mother said.
Helen was shocked. ‘But Mam, why aren’t you? The most awful thing has happened at work … you have no idea.’
Dee shook her head to deny this. ‘Oh, I do have an idea, Helen. I had an awful day at work too, and your dad had an awful day going up to Mash Macken’s and having no work – so honestly, we do understand.’
Helen felt stopped in her tracks. ‘Yes, well, I know it’s awful, Mam, I’ve always said—’
‘What have you always said?’
Her mother was being perfectly polite, but there was something different about the way she spoke, as if she were an outsider, a friend of the family, yes, but not Mam.
‘I always say … that you work very hard, Mam, put in terrible hours and all …’
‘Yes, yes, and who do you say that to, exactly, Helen?’
‘Well, anyone really.’
‘Oh good, it’s just that you never said it to me, so it comes as a surprise.’
‘Mam, they’ve cancelled my school outing, they won’t let me take the children to Paris.’ Tears weren’t far away.
‘That’s very disappointing for you all right. Liam – how was your day?’
‘Terrible, we couldn’t wait to be out of Mash Macken’s place and he didn’t want us to go. It was desperate.’
‘Well, love, that’s the very worst bit over. All you have to do now is sign on and look around for a bit of work here and there.’
Helen noticed that her mother was handing a mug of tea to Liam but there wasn’t one for anyone else.
‘Well, anyway, that’s it,’ Helen said. ‘The principal says the trip’s off, that the insurance won’t cover it. That there would need to be four teachers with the group if we were going and that the parents would think it too risky anyway. The children are so upset – and I’ve already paid the deposit to the travel agent …’ Her voice trailed away.
Nobody was listening. Her mother and father were talking to each other. Helen looked hopefully at Anthony.
‘I don’t know if she means no supper just today or for every day,’ he said, worried. ‘I didn’t like the look on her face. Did we do anything to annoy her?’
‘Of course we didn’t!’ Helen snapped and then she paused. Why was Mam behaving like this, at the very time that Dad needed a peaceful place to live? Mam could be really selfish at times. She wasn’t even listening to Helen’s problems, let alone saying anything sympathetic.
Ronan paused outside the door. He was never sure what kind of welcome he would get these days – Rosie had probably told them all terrible tales about him. But he had to see her, he had to try and talk to her.
Dee answered the door to him.
‘Ah, Ronan,’ she said as if he were an elderly neighbour, or someone to be greeted with courtesy if not enthusiasm.
‘Mrs Nolan, Dee, could I have a word with Rosie, do you think?’
‘She’s not home yet, Ronan, but come in and sit down to wait for her.’
‘She might not want to see me.’ He looked and sounded about twelve years of age.
‘Well then, you will obviously take your
troubles out of the house …’
‘Sorry?’ Ronan said, confused.
‘I’m sure you are sorry and I’m sure Rosie is. But you will discuss it out of our home. It’s not our battle after all.’ Dee sounded polite but firm.
Ronan remembered many battles fought between him and Rosie at this very table with the family sitting silently, looking stricken by it all. Perhaps he and Rosie had been a bit noisy here once or twice. But there was something different about Mrs Nolan this evening. Ronan wished he knew what it was.
He decided to concentrate on Liam. ‘How’s work, Mr Nolan?’ he asked cheerfully.
Liam was beginning to find a vague answer, but Dee interrupted.
‘It isn’t any more. Liam’s been let go, we were just talking about how to manage. How we were all going to have to manage.’
‘Oh yes, yes, of course,’ Ronan said. ‘Yes, I imagine everyone has to do something.’ He looked around him wildly. Judging from their faces, this seemed quite far from either Helen’s or Anthony’s thoughts.
Just then Rosie came in and flung her very high-heeled shoes across the room.
‘You’ll never guess what’s happened,’ she said and then without waiting for a response, ‘I’m going to London! They’re sending me on a course. It’s going to be fantastic. Six whole weeks! I’ll get to stay in a swanky hotel and eat in all the restaurants and go to all the clubs. I might not come back at all – it’s going to be great.’ She sat rubbing her feet. ‘I’ll need some more shoes. They make me wear these up and down the mall: it’s exhausting. You want to see the mall sometime, Mam, and imagine me walking a hundred miles a day in those heels!’
‘I do know the mall, I was there this morning getting a job, actually,’ Dee said.
They all looked up in surprise.
‘I’ve got six hours shelf-stacking in the supermarket.’ Dee looked around, pleased.
Liam was concerned. ‘You’re taking on too much, love,’ he said.
Anthony was amazed. ‘How would you know what to put where, Mam?’ he asked.
Helen was thoughtless. ‘I’ll probably be there beside you, Mam, if the travel agency won’t let me have the deposit back. I’ll have to take any old job I can find.’
Rosie was about to speak when she noticed Ronan for the first time. ‘Oh, you are here,’ she said with no sign of any pleasure.
‘Yes. I thought we should talk before you head off for London …’he began.
‘We’ve talked all the talk there is, Ronan, and if you think—’ Her voice was raised dangerously.
‘Not here, Rosie.’ He looked over at Dee and Liam. ‘This isn’t their battle but it is their home. We can talk somewhere else …’
‘If you think for one moment that I am going back to that house where I was so unhappy—’
Ronan spoke in a slow measured voice.
‘A café, please, Rosie,’ he said – and his words had the right effect.
She calmed down. ‘Right,’ she said after a pause. ‘I’ll get my shoes.’
They were gone and the rest of the family seemed to give a sigh of relief that they had been spared yet another of those ‘You said and you said and you said’ conversations that led nowhere – except to Rosie bursting into tears and Ronan flouncing out the door.
‘That’s a relief. I wonder how Ronan thought of that,’ Anthony said.
‘I wonder,’ Dee agreed.
‘Mam just said it to him,’ Helen said. She was annoyed with Mam for not listening but fair was fair.
‘By the way, Helen, you may find it harder to get a job shelf-stacking than you think. There were sixty people there today, after four places.’
‘Sure, Mam.’ Helen’s voice was low.
But Dee seemed bright.
‘So, anyway, I won’t keep you two. Dad and I have to work here at the table so we’ll let you go now. Is that all right?’
‘Go where?’ Helen asked.
‘Well, I don’t know really, that’s up to you. Out maybe? You might want to think about getting yourselves some supper. Or up to your rooms? You both have a room.’
‘But it’s a bedroom!’ Helen said.
‘It’s a room,’ Mam countered.
‘Sure.’ Helen knew there was no chance here of anyone hearing her story and sympathising over the bad news the day had brought her. ‘But I think I’ll go down to Maud and Marco’s. At least there’ll be some food and a bit of conversation there. And if Rosie is going to be banging on about her trip to London, I might ask them if I can stay there for a few days.’
Anthony finally realised that he too was being edged out. He gathered up his iPod, his notebooks and his earphones into the leather bag he carried. He looked back from the stairs with suspicion as he saw his mother spread out papers and accounts books on the table.
Dee and Liam studied the figures on the sheets of paper.
‘It’s no use,’ Liam said in the end. ‘Even if I did get a good bit of private work, it would never add up.’
‘What should we give up?’ Dee asked.
‘I won’t go for a pint,’ Liam offered.
‘That’s nothing,’ Dee said. ‘You’ve never been a big drinker. Anyway, you need to talk to people in pubs to find out where there’s any work.’
‘But what else?’ His face was drawn and worried.
‘If the children can’t see their way to paying us some rent, we might have to let a room,’ Dee said eventually.
‘We can’t, Dee, and even if Rosie does go back to that fellow, Helen and Anthony have to have a room each.’
‘But not necessarily here in this house,’ Dee said.
‘It’s their home.’ Liam wouldn’t change his mind on this.
Dee tried a different route.
‘Listen, Rosie’s going away anyway for six weeks. Helen’s going to stay with Maud, she’s always going on about how welcoming they are there. She can stay there while Rosie’s away and we could get some rent from the front room.’
‘But wouldn’t we have some stranger on top of us?’ Liam was anxious.
‘We could give them a kettle and a hotplate.’ Dee was ready.
‘You’ve thought it all through,’ Liam said, alarmed.
‘No I haven’t, I was just thinking of our Taormina fund,’ Dee said.
This year they would be twenty-five years married. They had been saving for a holiday in Sicily, in the same resort where they had spent their honeymoon, and every year had promised to go back. None of the money they had put in the china jug had been taken out. But there was hardly enough for a deposit, let alone a holiday.
‘I’d love to go back,’ Liam said.
‘Then we will,’ Dee said.
They got out more paper and did more sums. How much could they charge a lodger? They knew what people paid for a room round here. It would be a great help filling up the china jug for the holiday in Sicily.
‘It will be great,’ Dee pronounced. She sounded much more confident than she was. There would be many battles ahead, she knew.
The first battle was with Rosie. She stormed in the door just as they were eating their lamb chops.
‘That smells nice,’ she said, ‘but I’ll only have them if you cut off the fat, I hate even looking at it. Wait until I tell you what his new plan is. To sell the house. Sell? Now? Nobody is buying houses now. Does Ronan live in the real world, I ask you? If you’re doing tomatoes, I’d like them lightly grilled, not swimming in fat.’
Dee looked at her daughter, beautiful, well groomed, her shiny blonde hair expertly cut – one of the perks of the job. Her face was without concern or care for anyone except herself. Dee wondered how her daughter had become so spoiled.
‘Did I tell you I was starting work in the mall next week, Rosie?’
‘Yes, I think you did, Mam. Where are the others? Why aren’t they here?’
‘Anthony went to get a pizza, I think.’
‘Is he bringing it back?’
‘No, I think he’s eating it t
here. And Helen has gone to see her friend, Maud. She’s thinking of staying there with Maud and Marco while you’re away in London.’
‘She never is. Why?’
‘To give us a room to let.’
‘But that’s my room too!’ Rosie cried.
She looked to her father for confirmation. But for once he didn’t run to her defence.
‘You won’t be using it, Rosie. You’ll be in a hotel in London. Surely you’d like your mother and myself to try and make something out of an empty room?’
‘But it’s not an empty room. It’s our home,’ Rosie said.
Isn’t she a little minx, Dee thought to herself. Using the very phrase her father always used. Swiftly she changed the subject.
‘I’ll be able to see you in the mall in the afternoons. I’m going to be doing afternoon shelf-stacking. You know, goods they have run out of in the morning – and you stand near the door of the supermarket, don’t you?’
‘Mam, if you even approach me when I’m doing my work, I’ll … well, I don’t know what I’ll do … You’re going to stack shelves, right?’
‘Right.’
‘In a yellow nylon coat? Right?’
‘I think so, possibly, yes.’
‘That’s what they wear,’ said Rosie. ‘I see them from time to time, when they come out for a smoke. Mam, you wouldn’t talk to me, would you?’
Something happened to Dee at that moment. Her voice became very cold.
‘No, Rosie, I wouldn’t. Believe me, I wouldn’t go near you, approach you, or say hello to my own daughter. It would be out of the question.’
‘Rosie doesn’t mean it like that, Dee,’ Liam, the peacemaker, began.
‘No, but I do. I wouldn’t cross the mall to talk to someone like Rosie.’ There was something about the way she said it that made Rosie uneasy.
‘Listen, Mam, I’m a bit upset, you know, Ronan being such a clown and everything. Let’s just have supper and forget it.’
‘Your father and I have just had our supper. You must have yours wherever you please. And if you are having it in your room, then would you think about putting your clothes into storage? We will need that room from Monday, the day after you leave.’