He had just assumed that a woman as beautiful as Ivy would have had more than enough opportunity to sate her own carnal cravings, if only by giving herself a release. But as she looked at him with eyes that were still unfocused and cheeks that were a bright shade of scarlet, Fin realized that was not the case. This was, in fact, her first experience of any kind.
That she had chosen him to be her first both made him feel humbled, but also in a strange way, scared him. It was not his first time claiming a woman’s maidenhead, but with Ivy, it was just - different. It somehow meant more to him and, at the same time, made him feel unworthy of such a gift.
“Dae ye want tae stop?” he whispered. “Tis all right if ye dae. I just--”
A sly smile curled her lip upward. “I feel so amazing right now that if you stop, I may have to kill you myself.”
Fin laughed as he collapsed on top of her, bracing himself on his arms above her so he could look down into her eyes. Ivy parted her thighs and wrapped her legs around his waist as she looked back up at him, gnawing on her bottom lip. There was an excited yet fearful light shining in her face. But there was also a curiosity Fin could see that aroused him.
He positioned the head of his stalk at her opening, nestling it between her warm, slick folds. He felt Ivy tense up beneath him, and she grabbed hold of his forearms, digging her nails into his flesh. He leaned down and kissed her again, and as he did, he slowly pushed himself inside of her. He moved deliberately, sinking his stalk into her inch by inch, rather than thrust himself inside all at once.
Ivy gasped and her face contorted in pain for a moment as he filled her up. And when he was fully sheathed inside of her, Fin paused, giving them both a moment to adjust to him being inside of her. She was so warm and tight that Fin could barely keep himself from climaxing almost instantly. But he gritted his teeth and willed himself to hold off.
Small whimpers escaped Ivy’s mouth, and her body was tense. Her face was etched with discomfort for several long moments, but Fin, not wanting to cause her any pain, started to slide himself out of her. But as he moved, Ivy’s whimpers became a low, languid moan, and she locked her ankles together behind him, holding him in place.
“You are not going anywhere,” she said, her voice breathy and strained.
Fin grinned at her. “Are ye certain?” he asked. “Ye’re all right then?”
She nodded. “Yes. Please don’t stop.”
Fin began to roll his hips slowly, gently, moaning as his thick shaft slid along her tight inner walls. Ivy was so wet, he was able to move with ease inside of her. She moaned and dug her nails into his arms harder as she drew in a sharp breath. She moaned salaciously, her eyes rolling back in her head as he started to pump his hips a little harder, burying himself deep inside of her with every thrust.
Ivy stuttered, and her breathing was ragged, but she clung tightly to him, writhing as he drove his stalk deep into her core. Her movements grew increasingly frantic as her body tensed, and her cries came out in stuttering gasps.
“Fin,” she cried. “Oh God--”
Her words were cut off by a long, loud cry of sheer ecstasy that echoed around them, startling a group of birds in a nearby tree who noisily took to the sky. Gripped tightly by her climax, Ivy shuddered and writhed beneath Fin wildly. Her fingernails were dug so far into his skin, he was sure he’d have cuts. But feeling her hot, molten core pulsing around his thick stalk felt incredible to Fin, and he was overcome by waves of sheer bliss.
She slowly started to come back to herself. Her body still twitched, but the out of control squirming was fading. A half-crazed smile was on her face, and the look in her eye was one of amazement and bliss, the fear finally gone. Fin was still buried to the hilt inside of her, the pulsing of her sex sending waves of ecstasy rolling through him.
He smiled down at her and drew a yelp of surprise from her throat when he grabbed hold of her and rolled himself over so that she sat astride him. Ivy looked down at him, uncertainty on her face. But she shifted on top of him, and the friction of him moving inside of her drew a groan of ecstasy from her lips.
Ivy smiled at him and leaned forward, planting her hands on his chest. She slowly started to rock her hips, her movements slow and unsteady. Fin could see she was unsure of herself, so he took hold of her hips and started to guide her. As she moved on top of him, Ivy threw her head back and let loose a long and lascivious groan that aroused him even more.
Gripping her hips tightly, Fin thrust himself upward, piercing her again and again. His staff swelled the warmth and tightness of her core, making him impossibly hard. Ivy leaned forward again, pushing down on his chest, her nails biting into his flesh. Fin let out a choked gasp as she began thrusting herself up and down on him, impaling herself wildly upon his staff.
Her cries blended with his, their voices drifting away on the breeze. Fin felt his rod pulsing, his body ringing with an ecstasy that lit a fire inside of him. The sound of their bodies crashing together rang in his ears and blended with Ivy’s cries, driving him toward the brink. And when she thrust herself down one final time, taking him as deep inside of her as he could go, Fin felt his stalk twitch and throb, and a moment later, he erupted.
Fin pressed his head back against the soft grass beneath the blanket, his eyes rolling back into his head as a low growl passed his lips. He pressed his fingers into her flesh as his cock twitched and pulsed inside of her. Ivy’s eyes grew wide, and the sensation of him filling her with his seed seemed to touch off another release in her. She grabbed hold of his wrists as her body tensed and shuddered, and together, they rode out the waves of bliss, letting themselves be swept away.
As Fin softened and slipped out of her, Ivy rolled off and curled herself up next to him. She lay her head on his chest and traced circles on his taut, flat belly with her fingertip. It tickled him, and he flinched, which seemed to amuse her.
“Look at that, the fearsome Scotsman felled by the touch of a fingertip,” she laughed.
“Aye, laugh it up,” he replied. “We’ll see how ye react when I tickle ye.”
“You had better not, Finlay Begbie,” she flashed him a smile. “I promise it will be the last thing you do in this world.”
He laughed out loud and rolled over, pinning her beneath his larger frame. Ivy tried to wriggle free but could not, and when he began tickling her, she laughed and squirmed wildly. She tried to speak, but could not for the lack of breath. Fin laughed, then leaned down and planted a soft kiss on her lips.
“Are ye all right? Was that all right?” he asked.
She nodded. “I would say it was better than all right,” she replied, then grinned devilishly at him. “But then, I have nothing to compare it to.”
Fin laughed. “Now who’s bein’ cheeky?”
They stared into each other’s eyes for several long moments, and Fin gave her a gentle smile. The feelings he had for her welled up inside of him, threatened to consume him, and as he looked into her eyes, he knew he’d happily let himself be swept away by them.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Ivy
“It was -- amazing,” she said. “I cannot believe I allowed it to happen, but…”
Her voice trailed off, and Mira took hold of her hands, squeezing them tight. A wide, knowing grin crossed her lips, and her eyes sparkled with a mischievous light.
“But he’s a beautiful man, and you let yourself get caught up in the moment,” Mira finished for her.
“Something like that, yes.”
Ivy felt her cheeks flush and she looked away. She still could not believe she had allowed herself to lose control like that. The fact that she had given her maidenhead to Fin was no small matter. If Castor ever found out, he would be enraged and would punish her in ways that she could not even conceive of. All she knew was that it would be terrible.
“So? How do you feel?” Mira pressed.
Ivy laughed. “Other than a bit sore and stiff, I do not feel any different,” she replied, and then looked at her
handmaiden with wide eyes. “Why? Should I? Is there some way I--”
Mira’s laughter made Ivy bite off her words. Embarrassment made her cheeks color, and her face grow warm. Seeing Ivy upset, Mira tried to control her laughter and gave her hands a firm squeeze.
“I am sorry, I did not mean to laugh. I would never want to make you feel bad,” Mira said.
Ivy pursed her lips. “It’s all right. I just did not know if there was something I had done wrong or something I should have been feeling.”
Mira shook her head. “No, that is not what I meant,” she said softly. “I was merely asking how you felt now that you have given your maidenhead away. Not physically, but in your heart… and your mind?”
“Oh,” Ivy said. “That. Yes.”
She felt silly for misunderstanding such a simple question, but given the circumstances, could she really be blamed for it? This was such new and uncharted territory for her that she did not know up from down. She had so little experience when it came to carnal matters that she did not know if she should be feeling one way, or thinking another.
The truth was, she had many different feelings and thoughts about what happened - what she let herself do. And she could not put order to them. Could not arrange them in any way that made sense to her. All she could do at the moment was feel. Her body still hummed with delicious, sensual energy that filled her with a light that continued to warm her from the inside out.
“Well?” Mira laughed. “Are you going to answer the question?”
Ivy laughed and buried her face in her hands. As she regained control of herself, she lowered her hands, but could not get the smile off her face. But as the thought of Castor finding out crossed her mind again, she shuddered, and the corners of her mouth pulled down into a frown.
And no matter how hard she tried to push thoughts of her brother from her mind and focus on nothing but the good feelings that lingered, at that moment, all she could think of was an enraged Castor learning she had given her maidenhead away since she knew it would devalue her when it came time for him to find a suitor for her.
“What is it, Ivy?” Mira asked, still clutching her hands. “Why do you look so scared.”
“Because I am,” she whispered. “What if my brother finds out? He will kill me. Quite possibly literally.”
“He will not kill you, Ivy,” she said. “I can promise you that.”
“Maybe not. But he will punish me severely.”
Mira pursed her lips, knowing that Ivy was right. Her brother would not be very forgiving were he to learn of her… indiscretion.
“As scared as I am of him finding out though,” Ivy began, “I cannot bring myself to regret what I did. I cannot bring myself to regret giving myself to Fin.”
Mira gave her a gentle smile. “You really care about him.”
Ivy paused for a moment, afraid of the depth and power of the feelings that stirred within her. But then she nodded.
“I do,” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. “I care about him very much.”
“That is wonderful, Ivy,” she beamed. “That is truly wonderful.”
Ivy felt the wings of elation start to lift her up, threatening to send her soaring among the clouds. But then the cold slap of reality hit her hard and brought her crashing back down to Earth. She sighed heavily and looked up at Mira, her vision suddenly blurring with tears.
“How I feel about Fin does not matter in the end,” she said. “My brother will never let me be with him. He will auction me off to the highest bidder, like a cow. He will sell me to whoever will raise the esteem of this house and fill his coffers.”
Mira looked like she wanted to reply but closed her mouth. Mira knew what she said was true. Her brother had been trying to find her a suitable match for the last couple of years. Ivy was relieved that so far, he had not found a match to his liking. None of the potential suitors had either the esteem or the money that would satisfy Castor - something Ivy could have told him.
Elix was not one of the jewels of London. House Welton was a second, perhaps even third-tier House. Maybe even lower, depending on who you asked. As such, Ivy was not going to fetch a commanding price since Elix could neither raise another House’s esteem very much, and Castor would not be able to offer much in the way of a dowry. Her brother wanted a king’s ransom in return for a minor pittance, but that was not how the world worked. Even she could have told him that.
“Perhaps that is why I gave myself to Fin,” she said softly. “Because I know that I will have no control over what happens to me. Perhaps I wanted one good memory to take with me when he sells me off.”
Mira gave her an encouraging smile. “He has not sold you off yet,” she told her. “Who knows what the future holds, Ivy? Do not give up hope.”
“It seems hopeless, though.”
Mira shook her head. “Nothing is hopeless. Things can change.” Her voice was firm. “Things always change. That is the nature of life.”
Ivy wanted to take heart in Mira’s words. Wanted to believe that maybe, just maybe, she would have some say in her future. That she would have some control over her life. But unless Castor somehow were removed from control of Elix…
Her thoughts immediately changed direction, and she began to think about everything she and Fin had talked about. She thought about what he believed Castor was guilty of. If he were guilty, that would remove him from power. But it would also mean his death. That was a thought that filled her with no joy. No matter how far apart they had drifted over the years, he was still her brother, and she had no desire to see him executed.
But then, she had found nothing so far. She had kept her eyes open and her ears alert, but she had neither seen nor heard anything that would implicate him in the plot to assassinate the Duke and Gillian.
“Do you want to be with Fin?” Mira asked. “Do you love him in that way?”
As she pushed thoughts of Castor from her mind and let thoughts of Fin filter back in, she was filled with a warmth and a sense of joy once more. He had that effect on her. All she had to do was think of him, conjure an image of his face and an echo of his voice in her mind, and her mood, no matter how bleak, turned around nearly instantly. She was not sure how he came to have such a hold and power over her. But somewhere along the line, he had.
“I care about him in a very powerful way,” Ivy said softly. “But it seems too early to call it - love.”
Mira shrugged. “It is never too early when you know it is right,” she replied. “And how does he feel about you?”
Ivy’s mind drifted back to that moment, just after they had made love, and he was hovering above her, looking down into her eyes. He looked like he’d wanted to say something to her but had stopped himself, and Ivy wondered if he was going to tell her that he loved her. She knew he felt as strongly for her as she did for him. It was obvious - even to her. But love? She was not sure she would go that far.
“I know he cares for me,” she said. “I know he cares for me very much.”
Mira smiled. “I can see how happy he makes you. And that is good to see. It seems like forever since I have seen you this happy.”
Ivy sighed again as the reality of her world came crashing down upon her again. But Mira squeezed her hands tightly and held her gaze firmly.
“Do not give up hope,” she urged Ivy. “The world can change quickly. You just never know what might happen in the future.”
Unfortunately for Ivy, she did know what would happen in the future and knew that hers would take one of two paths. The first would see her married to a man she neither knew nor cared for. Wed for the benefits her brother would reap. The second path would end in the death of her brother and leave her with nothing but uncertainty.
* * * * *
After she left Mira, Ivy strolled through the castle with her head in the clouds. She had no destination in mind, she was simply restless and wandering. She had pushed all other thoughts out of her mind except for Fin. More specifically, of making lo
ve with Fin.
She made her way out to the balcony that overlooked the western edge of the cherry orchards and inhaled the fragrance from below. In the distance, the sun was slipping toward the horizon, casting the sky in vibrant reds and oranges. To the east, the sky was already growing darker with the onset of night. The sight of the natural world around her was breathtaking, and it never failed to fill her with a sense of awe.
But as her thoughts seemed to be doing more frequently, they turned to Fin seemingly of their own accord. Although she felt the slight aches and pains of her first time laying with a man, her body still tingled with the memory of his touch. Her lips still burned with the memory of his kiss. And the mere thought of having him inside of her made Ivy feel as if she might climax on the spot. The pinch of pain she had felt in the beginning had been quickly drowned out by the intense pleasure she had felt.
“And what has you smiling to yourself like you’ve gone mad?”
Ivy’s heart lurched in her chest, and a cold finger of dread slid up her spine at the sound of her brother’s voice. She turned and tried to stuff down the feeling of contempt that naturally arose within her when Castor was around. He strolled out onto the balcony, a flagon of one foul alcoholic beverage or another in hand. He gazed at her with a cold, imperious expression on his face, as if he believed he was somehow better than her simply because he was the Baron.
But more than that, the way he looked at her sent a chill sweeping through her. His gaze was piercing and penetrating. It was as if he could see straight through her and was able to see her darkest secrets. As if he knew she had given herself over to Fin. The thought of Castor, knowing she had given him her maidenhead, and what he would do to her, made her stomach clench in fear.
The knot of fear in her belly tightened, causing the pain inside of her to grow and sending a wave of nausea washing through her. If Castor knew, Ivy thought she would be better off throwing herself off the balcony than face whatever punishment he wanted to dole out. She knew well just how cruel her brother could be and had no desire to have that sort of torment inflicted upon her. The mere prospect of it scared her to death.
Siren of the Highlands: Scottish Medieval Highlander Romance (Highlanders of Cherrythorn) Page 16