I know that if I don’t marry Bianca, her family’s company will never be given to me. That’s okay. That’s in her family and should remain there. But will my own father be so upset by the turn of events that he withholds our family’s company from me? This is my family’s business and is rightfully supposed to be handed down to me. Will marrying Harley change that? Will my father see that as some kind of betrayal? What’s more important: Harley or running this company under my own name?
My whole life, I’ve prepared myself to run this company. I have notebooks filled with ideas and things I want to do as CEO: changes I want to make, and plans to make not only the company better, but the world too. If all that is taken from me, then where does that leave me? What will I do? I’ve only ever seen myself at the top. What if someone else is made CEO? What if I get fired? What will I do? This company has become such a part of my identity.
“I’ll talk to you later, B. I have some thinking to do.” I hang up the phone and slide it into my pocket. Instead of going back up to my office, I turn and head for the garage. I have some thinking to do, and it can’t be done in that stuffy office with its ice-cold air.
I climb behind the wheel, and within minutes, I’m already on the freeway, speeding my way out of town. I drive with no real purpose or place in mind. I just drive. Think and drive. When I come to a body of water, I park the car and get out, walking down to the shore. I’m not even sure where I am, but that part doesn’t matter. All that matters is that it’s quiet here. I can hear myself think. There’s a warm breeze blowing, making the water look a little choppy. There are birds flying high and the grass is swaying back and forth. I sit in the grass and stare off at the dark water and the blue sky.
I try to imagine my life the way it’s always been planned: marrying Bianca and taking over both companies. We would have it all—well, all but real love anyway. She would get to finish her education and she’d be the head of her company, doing all the things she wants to do, and I’d be at the head of mine, both of us managing each one. Our home would be in a nice gated community. Probably some big mansion with only the best of everything. Eventually, we’d be expected to have kids. Sleeping with Bianca would be weird, but as long as we kept up appearances, we could probably have her artificially inseminated and no one would even know we weren’t a normal married couple. Or maybe, and this is a big maybe, the years we spend together pretending to be in love could lead to real love. At some point, perhaps I wouldn’t be repulsed by the thought of sleeping with her. It’s only because we’re so close that I can’t bear to think of it. Our lives together would be easy and perfect, and we’d probably be happy in the end. But is that all there is to life? Marriage, kids, and money? That’s it?
Then I imagine how my life could be if I decided not to marry Bianca. I don’t know where I’d end up with the company, but I pretend I move on from it altogether. I would stay married to Harley. I could see myself crawling into bed with her every single night. Falling more and more in love with her every day. Life wouldn’t be perfect, but it would be exciting and filled with fun, laughter, and love. That’s what really matters, right? Having it all seems great in theory, but it would get a little boring. Nothing is boring with Harley. She makes every day worth living. She makes each day better. I love her, but is she worth giving up everything?
I think she is.
The only question left is: Do I have the balls to do what needs to be done?
I guess we’ll have to wait and find out.
With my head now cleared, I get up and climb behind the wheel. As I make my way back into the city, I call Matt. I need someone to run this by—to ensure I’m not crazy or having some kind of lapse in judgment. If Matt thinks I’m making the right decision, then I’ll know for sure.
“Hey, what’s up?” he asks when he answers the phone.
“Can you meet me for a beer? The usual place?”
“Sure, I’m just leaving work. I’ll be there in 20.”
“Okay, see ya there.” I hang up the phone and hit the gas a little harder.
I get to the bar and grill about 30 minutes later, and Matt is already sitting at the bar with a beer in his hand. I take the barstool next to him.
“About time you showed up,” he says with a smile, giving me crap.
“Yeah, I was further out than I thought I was.” I raise my hand and the bartender walks over. I order a beer and she leaves to retrieve it.
“Where were you?”
I shrug. “No idea. I went for a drive to figure some things out.”
“Ah,” he says, nodding. “So, what did you figure out?”
I take a deep breath. “I’m not going to marry Bianca,” I state as I’m handed my beer. I pick it up and take a swig. “I’m going to announce it to both of our families at the same time and let the chips fall where they may. I’m going to stay with Harley.”
His grin starts to fall from his face until his mouth is hanging open.
“What?” I ask him. “Do you think I made the wrong decision?”
He shakes his head. “No, not at all. I’m just surprised, that’s all.”
“Surprised by what?”
“That you’re going against your family’s wishes by taking control of your own life. I never thought you would. I thought for sure you’d marry the woman you don’t love and live the life that’s been planned out for you. And if that’s what you wanted to do, I would’ve backed you, but I’m glad you’ve come to your senses. I think you’ll have a much better life this way.”
“Really? So you think I’m doing the right thing then? Giving up the Greer company, and maybe even giving up my own position, all for a chance at love with this girl—even though I have no idea how she feels about me?”
He nods. “I do.” He bumps my elbow with his. “But she loves you too, you know.”
“Not really. We haven’t even talked about our feelings.”
“Well, I know. I could see it written all over her face when we went to the races. Poppy could too. She’s asked me about 50 times since then if you’d come to your senses yet.”
I laugh. “How is it that everyone seems to see it but me? Bianca said the same thing.”
He shrugs. “Sometimes things just work like that. We can’t see what’s right in front of our face, even though everyone else can. But at least you see it now. At least your side of things anyway.”
Matt and I sit and have a couple more drinks before calling it a day. It’s going on 5 p.m. when I leave the bar and decide on my drive to swing by the shelter and surprise Harley. I walk inside and the receptionist smiles and waves. When I point toward Harley’s office, she nods and I head back. I knock on the door once and she calls out. I open the door and step inside, closing it behind me. She looks up at me with a smile.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” she asks, standing up behind her desk.
I walk around it and pull her against me. When our lips connect, it feels different—better. It’s like a lightning strike. It’s hot but doesn’t burn. It lights all of my nerve endings on fire and makes my stomach drop like I’m falling. My body comes alive. My heart races, I’m breathless, and every inch of my skin is tingling with need for this woman. Realizing my true feelings for her makes her undeniable. There’s no way I can walk away from her now. I just have to figure out how she feels about me before making any kind of permanent move.
I pick her up against me and set her on the edge of her desk. Her arms wrap around my neck and pull me closer as our kiss grows in urgency. As our lips take what the other is giving, my hands roam her body, feeling every inch of soft skin she allows me to touch. I kiss my way down her jaw, to her neck, dipping as low as I can. My hands move from her hips to the button on her jeans, and she lies back across the desk, eyes on mine as I unzip them and pull them down her legs. When they’re off, she sits back up and works to free me. She unfastens my belt, unbuttons my pants, and lowers the zipper. They fall around my ankles as she pushes my boxers over my hips unti
l my hard dick springs free. Her hand wraps around it, slowly working me up and down, but I push it away and position myself between her legs. With one move of my hips, I’m pushing inside her heat, right where I belong.
The sun is starting to go down when we finally pull away from each other and get on the shelter’s golf cart so she can show me around the property. Everything out here looks beautiful. The grass is cut low with perfectly trimmed bushes and flowers decorating the sides of the dirt paths. There’s a pole barn building for the vet, another one for storage, one she calls a gym for keeping the animals in shape, and another for the ones who need rehab. There’s a pond off in the distance and she drives up to it. We sit quietly for a few moments while we watch the sun set behind the trees.
I look over at her and take in her beauty. “What’s your perfect ending?” I ask out of nowhere.
“My what?” she asks, brows pulled together in confusion.
“Where do you see yourself? Or what do you hope will happen? What’s your dream?”
“Well . . .” she says, thinking about it. “I guess my big dream has always been owning a shelter of my own. I want to buy a large piece of property, build my own house, then have the shelter on the property. I want a fenced-in yard so the animals can run and get exercise. I want to train the dogs, take care of the cats, and have all sorts of abandoned animals so I can find them all homes where they’ll be loved and cared for. I know it probably doesn’t sound like something most people would want, but that’s my perfect ending: putting a stop to homeless animals one at a time.” She looks over at me, a little unsure.
I reach between us and pick up her hand. “I like the sound of that,” I tell her, and that’s enough to make me rethink my own future. Maybe if I do lose my place at the company, I can focus on giving Harley her dream. I could play with animals all day, feed them, and take care of them. And then we’d be spending most of our time together. With my business knowledge, I could do all the paperwork, apply for grants, and manage the business side of things so she could just enjoy doing the things she loves.
Even though I have this thought in the back of my head, I still don’t have the nerve to tell her how I feel about her. I’m too worried that she’s still treating this as a random hookup, or that while I’ve been busy falling in love, she’s been avoiding feeling anything for me. I still have a week to work up the nerve to tell her.
But what if everyone is wrong and she doesn’t feel the same way? Will that change things for me? Will I propose to Bianca and live the life that’s been planned for me? I’d like to think that no, I wouldn’t, but then what would I do? Hang on to Harley and hope she falls in love with me? Or would I force myself to move on alone with no plans and no idea what the hell I’ll do in the future?
I take a deep breath and she glances over at me. “Something wrong?”
“No, nothing.”
She nods as she grabs the steering wheel and turns the golf cart around to put it back in the barn. When it’s parked in its assigned spot, she locks up everything behind us and I wait in the parking lot for her to come back out. I’m parked to the right of her Jeep and I lean against the driver’s side with my arms crossed. She walks over to me.
“So, what are the plans for tonight? You want to grab some dinner or something?” she asks, reaching out and grabbing my shirt.
I nod. “I’d like some dinner. Anything in mind?”
She shrugs as she looks up at me. “Whatever you want. What are you in the mood for?”
You. But I don’t say that. “I could go for a good steak.”
“Okay. You want to get cleaned up or anything?”
I nod. “I’ll go home, shower, then pick you up at your place in, say, an hour?”
She smiles. “See you soon.” She tries to walk away, but I catch her wrist and pull her back to me, kissing the breath out of her before we part.
I climb behind the wheel and start the car. Within minutes, I’m speeding down the road in the opposite direction she’s going, and within the hour, I’m pulling into her driveway. I don’t bother knocking on the door. Instead, I let myself in. The dogs come running and barking, and I quiet them by petting them all. They all know my scent by now. They take a quick sniff and turn away to go back to whatever they were doing.
“The dogs give you away every time,” she says, walking into the living room.
I take her in from the top of her dark hair to the bottom of her feet. Her black dress fits to perfection. It’s classy but sexy at the same time. Her makeup is light and her hair is perfectly curled and pinned into some fancy updo.
“You look beautiful,” I say, closing the space between us and giving her a quick kiss.
“Thank you,” she breathes out, eyes still closed from our kiss, and I can’t resist kissing her again. This time, it lasts a little longer, goes a little deeper. I can feel the love I have for her filling my heart and almost making it feel heavier. Suddenly, I realize she’s the gravity holding me to earth.
I pull back and look into her eyes. I see a flash of something, but I’m not sure what. “Are you ready to go?” I ask instead of asking the question I really want the answer to.
She nods and offers a small smile. “Let’s do it.”
Thirteen
Harley
Something feels different about tonight. Usually, when I’m with Foster, it’s all fun and games. We joke around, laugh, and have fun. Tonight is different. There’s something about the look in his eyes. It’s as if he’s looking deeper—like he’s focusing or lost in thought. And the questions he was asking earlier! What’s my happily ever after? Why does he care? He’s never asked me anything like that before. There was no point. We’re not ending up together and it’s something both of us have always known. He’s meant for another, even though neither of them is all that happy about it.
The way he’s touching me is different too. Like the way he puts his hand on my lower back and leads me from my living room out to his waiting car. It’s a soft touch, but it lingers and travels throughout my body. Every nerve ending is ablaze. It burns and tingles and feels like a fire has been set in my belly. He seems more serious tonight than ever before. And while I enjoy seeing the different sides of him, I can’t help but feel a little worried at the same time. Does he know something I don’t? Is this our ending? Is he trying to give me one last good memory before he goes off and marries a woman who doesn’t love him—a woman he doesn’t love?
Dinner is perfect in every way possible. The conversation is kept light, the food is fantastic, and I cherish every little look and touch between us. The car ride home is dark and quiet, but he keeps his hand on my thigh like he can’t not touch me—like he wants to take advantage of every moment between us. And then, when we get back to my place, we don’t have sex. He makes love to me. It’s soft and slow. It’s long and patient. And when we finish, he rolls to my side and pulls me against his chest where he holds me all night long.
If this is our last night together, then at least it’s perfect and it’s something I’ll hold on to for the rest of my life. With that thought, the sadness settles over me once again. How am I ever going to let him go? How can I recover from a loss this great? Just thinking about watching him walk away from me for the last time is enough to have my heart cracking and tears burning my eyes.
I can’t believe that all this time, my heart has been falling in love and I didn’t even notice. How is that possible? I don’t fall in love. I don’t get clingy. I’m not that girl. I’m the fun girl who’s always down to have a good time then let things go when it’s time for it to end. I don’t know how meeting one person has changed me so much. I don’t know what to do now that I know without a shadow of a doubt that I love him.
I love him.
And he’s going to leave and marry another woman.
I’m going to be alone while he goes off and lives the perfect life without me.
My heart cracks a little more, finally splitting into two pieces.
/> When I wake in the morning, the bed is empty. Instead of finding him lying next to me, there’s a single sheet of paper. I pick it up and read the handwritten words.
* * *
Harley,
Had to get to work. I’ll talk to you later.
Foster
* * *
With a heavy sigh, I throw the blankets back and push myself up. I trudge to the shower and take extra time washing and shaving, enjoying the feeling of the hot water rushing over my tired, sore body. When there’s nothing left to do and only a few minutes to get to work, I get out and dry off. I blow-dry my hair quickly and pull it into a high ponytail. Then I throw on some jean shorts and a T-shirt. I don’t want to waste time, so I forgo putting on makeup. I just slide my feet into my slip-on Chucks and leave my bedroom to get ready to go.
I let the dogs out while I gather my things. I fill their food and water dishes, then let them back in and say goodbye to each of them. I climb behind the wheel of my Jeep and pull into work at 9 a.m. on the dot. When I get to my office, my phone is blinking. As I’m putting my things away, I hit the play button to listen to my messages.
“Hey, Harley. This is Bianca. I figured I’d call you at work since you’ll probably have better access to your work schedule and resources there. Anyway, I was wondering if you might be free this afternoon. I would really like to swing by and check out that cat you had in mind for me. If you have time, give me a call back and we can set up an appointment.” She goes on to rattle off her number and I quickly write it down.
The machine beeps, indicating that there are no more messages. I sit in my chair and get the computer started, then pick up my phone and call her back.
My Accidental Forever (Love You Forever Book 5) Page 14