by Kate Thomas
No. She wouldn’t borrow trouble. She didn’t dare.
“Take your time, Marletta” Josh’s deep voice came from a spot above and behind Dani’s ear just as his big, strong hands wrapped around her shoulders.
She could hear the barely leashed tension in his voice as he went on. “Do you need oxygen or something? Some water?”
Without thinking about it, Dani reached up and covered his hands with her own.
The secretary shook her head. “Give me—” She held up one finger as another spasm of coughing racked her.
Dani leaned back, her fear made manageable only by Josh’s solid presence. Once again she needed his strength to survive a dreadful ordeal. And once again he was there. Just as he had been when Michael was born. She pressed against his hard chest, grateful, so grateful that she didn’t have to face this devastating shock alone.
Finally, Marletta got her lungs cleared enough to say, “The paramedics insisted on checking him out—” The tissue gestured toward the ambulance. “But he was breathing when I brought him out.”
“Thank God...” Dani let out the breath she’d been holding and turned to go, but the secretary held up her hand, palm out.
“Walker...Dani...” Marletta dabbed at her eyes again, hitched up the blanket draped over her shoulders. “I...”
Dani fought down her need to charge off in search of Michael. She knew the E.M.T.’s were giving her son every possible care—and it was clear that Marletta needed to say something first.
“Spit it out, Langtry,” Josh barked. “What the hell happened?”
Dani twisted her head to look at him. Oh, no. Warrior mode again. His hands curled into fists on his hips, his jaw carved granite, Josh was surveying the scene like a conquering lord prioritizing the pillaging. Big jerk—not even noticing his secretary’s light coffee-colored skin had a definite gray cast to it.
Well, that resolved Dani’s lingering indecision. As long as she knew Michael was alive, she could spare a minute or two to protect the woman who’d saved him. She wasn’t leaving Marletta here alone to deal with Josh. Not this way. Not now.
“Apparently, the town house on the end caught fire,” the older woman began. “The firefighter who gave me oxygen said they contained the fire to that unit, but the smoke traveled through the entire building along the attic space.” She turned large, dark, still-streaming eyes in Dani’s direction. “Oh, Dani, I feel so terrible!”
“Marletta, please. What happened to Michael?” Josh persisted tonelessly. The cool voice, so at odds with his hot fingers once again pressing on her shoulders like metal vise grips, sent a shiver down Dani’s already chilled spine.
After another spasm of coughing, Marletta gulped, then answered. “Well, he fussed a little over the bottle.” She smiled tentatively at Dani. “Of course, he would, since he’s used to his mama.”
Hoping to lessen the woman’s concern and speed her story before Josh exploded, Dani returned the smile.
“I finally got him to sleep,” Marletta continued, “and went downstairs to watch TV.” She wiped at her eyes again. “By the time I smelled something and went to investigate... the smoke was pretty thick. I grabbed Michael and got out as fast as I could, but...” Wringing her hands, she rushed the rest of the words out. “I don’t know how long he was up there breathing that horrible black stuff. The paramedics said they thought he’d be okay, but I’ll...I’ll never forgive myself if...if anything... Oh, I should have stayed up there with him! Please—forgive me?”
Impulsively, Dani reached over and gave Marletta a comforting squeeze. The fire certainly wasn’t her fault, but—would Josh blame the woman for doing the best she could in a bad situation? He’d done it before....
Dani chewed her lip as she moved away from Josh’s embrace and turned to watch his reaction to Marietta’s plea.
After a long moment Josh touched the older woman’s shoulder awkwardly.
“Nothing to forgive,” he said, the briskness of his clipped tone at odds with his warm smile. “You volunteered to baby-sit, not to escape disaster. Who knows, if Dani and I had been home, we might have been upstairs asleep, too. Been overcome by smoke along with Michael. We might have all died.”
He’s right, Dani thought while Josh made sure that Marletta could get home okay. If they hadn’t gone to dinner with the senator tonight, the fire still would have started. Could she or Josh have done any better than Marietta did in getting herself and Michael to safety?
Bad things can happen. To anyone. Anytime. Without warning.
Dani shook off the negative thought. Good can come from bad, she reminded herself. She’d ended up with Michael, after all. And met Josh.
And she’d never regret either experience, no matter how short a time they lasted.
The only thing a person could do about life was be prepared to accept whatever happened, pick up the pieces and build anew.
So why let a few setbacks stop your dreaming? asked her braver self, the self that still hoped despite all fear.
Tonight’s crisis made it clear that she had to make arrangements for Michael’s future that took the unexpected into account. If something happened to her, who would raise Michael? Jimmy’s parents were his only other relatives.
So she’d work out the details of this meals-for-busy-people business and she’d work hard to make it a success. She’d also make arrangements for the Caldwells to meet Michael.
If she could arrange it safely. She might be undergoing a change of heart and perspective, but she wasn’t crazy enough to risk losing her son permanently. At least, not to vindictive grandparents. Not without taking a few legal precautions first.
Life itself was enough of a gamble.
And every moment of love precious. Dani uttered a low moan of impatience and began edging in the direction of the ambulance where her son was being treated. She needed to hold Michael. Now!
Josh looked wistfully toward the conglomeration of emergency vehicles before turning back to his secretary. “I’ll stay with you until you feel well enough to head for home, but I’m sure Dani wants to check on Michael.”
“No, no. I’ll be fine,” Marletta insisted, making shooing gestures with her tissue. “Y’all go on.”
It didn’t take any more persuasion. Dani plunged into the crowd of milling firefighters, police, and sundry onlookers. Josh gave Marletta a quick hug, then took off after her, determined to hold it together as long as Dani and Michael needed him.
Then he planned to go somewhere quiet and have a nice, complete nervous breakdown.
Some dope in a law enforcement uniform tried to halt his forward progress; Josh tossed him aside. “Get the hell out of my way,” he explained. “I’m looking for my baby.”
“He seems to be okay now, ma’am,” the paramedic was saying when Josh finally reached Dani. “So we’ll release him to you.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, gazing down at the baby she held tightly. Michael was wrapped in his own crib blanket, Josh noted absently as he reached over Dani’s shoulder to touch him. He needed the contact. Needed to skim his hand over the infant’s fuzzy hair, his little arms, those tiny toes tucked safely inside the blanket. Just to reassure himself.
“Smoke inhalation in infants this small can be tricky, though,” the paramedic continued as he slung his stethoscope around his neck and tucked the listening end into his shirt pocket. “It’s possible he may develop residual breathing difficulties in the next twenty-four hours.”
“And i-if he does?” Dani asked haltingly.
“Get him to a hospital for inhalation therapy.”
Josh stood directly behind Dani. Bracing her back with his chest, pretending to lend her his support again. The same way you did during Michael’s delivery? he asked himself derisively. Gonna get whoozy this time, too?
No, by God. This time, he was going to be useful. “Which one’s the best?” Josh asked.
“Well, All Saints is nearby. It has a good pediatric staff, good reputation.”
The E.M.T.’s radio squawked. “Listen, I think the little guy’ll be fine,” he said in a brisk professional tone. “You might prop him up for the rest of the night. That’ll keep his airway open with minimal strain.
“He definitely ate some smoke, though. That can depress the appetite, so if he’s not too hungry tonight, don’t worry about it.
“He should be just fine in a day or two. He’s a good, strong kid. Cute, too.” The paramedic ruffled Michael’s pale fluffy hair and grinned at Josh and Dani. “You two make good babies,” he said, then turned to murmur something to his companion and start packing up his equipment.
“Thanks again,” Dani called to the paramedic as he climbed into the back of the ambulance to stow the gear. “Thank you so much for saving my son.”
There it was again. Her son.
Dammit, Michael was his baby, too.
Something was going to have to be done about that. And soon.
He’d claim eminent domain. Emotional investment. Something.
Wrapping one arm around Dani’s to help support Michael, Josh mused on the twists of fate. Dinner with a national power broker and some hot kisses hadn’t seemed to make much of an impression on his Texas angel—judging by the way she’d jumped on that drive-by food idea—but this fire might buy him a little more time. Delay her departure for entrepreneur land until they were sure Michael had completely recovered from tonight’s trauma.
Maybe he could talk her into staying long enough to help him repaint the upstairs. Or maybe, if he was really lucky, the building would be condemned and he’d need help finding a house and moving in and by the time they got that accomplished, she’d be in the habit of—
Scheme later, Walker. Right now, you’ve got more pressing tasks to accomplish. Because even if she won’t let you keep her and Michael permanently, you can take care of them tonight.
First and foremost, they needed shelter. That was simple logistics. He could handle it.
Giving Dani strict orders not to leave the spot, and crossing his fingers in hopes she’d actually do it, Josh went to discover their options.
Not many. Nobody was being allowed back into any part of the building until it had been inspected for structural soundness. Which meant they’d either have to sleep in the old station wagon or...
“Come on, honey,” he said when he found her again, near the car. “Let’s get Michael out of here.”
Dani obeyed numbly. She’d felt drained, emotionally and physically, before they’d even arrived home to face this nightmarish scene; now she was totally incapable of the simplest decision. She only wanted to sit and hold Michael and savor the fact that he was still alive.
Life’s a risky business every day. Even for children.
Which just means there’s no time to waste.
Her dreams weren’t very big, but if she wanted them to come true—and she did, because tonight’s near-disaster reminded her that life without dreams was merely existence—she should pursue them.
Attaining her dreams was her responsibility, after all.
So was accepting reality.
She loved Josh Walker, wanted him...but she needed him forever or not at all.
He’d kissed her senseless in the moonlight, but he hadn’t offered permanency in any form.
So that made her life—and her future—simple again.
She’d put aside the dream of a loving husband with turquoise eyes, concentrate on achieving the rest of her goals alone, and learn to be satisfied with that.
Tonight, though, Michael had narrowly escaped death. So for a few short hours she’d let herself pretend fantasy was real. She’d let Josh put on his masterful act, helping her and Michael into the car, driving to an all-night grocery to buy diapers, baby wipes and a package of infant T-shirts, then booking them into a nearby bed-and-breakfast recommended by the grocery clerk.
The man was simply phenomenal when it came to putting kindness and care into action.
Within thirty minutes of leaving his town house, Josh turned onto a gravel drive that led to—another of Dani’s dreams. The perfect setting for the honeymoon she’d always imagined but never had. A classic, Southern plantation-style mansion sat on a rise above a lake, looking like a multitiered wedding cake. White columns soaring two stories high and railings edging the wide porch gleamed like frosting in the light of a full moon. An ornate, wrought iron light fixture hung over the extra-wide front door with a traditional fanlight window above it.
Josh apologized to the owners for rousing them so late, explained their situation briefly and accepted without protest the only accommodation available. One room. One bed.
More dream material, Dani thought as they were escorted to their room. A beautiful, canopied four-poster bed. Twelve-foot ceiling. Heart-pine floor. Carved cherrywood armoire and settee. A huge bouquet of lilacs and statice and antique roses perfumed the air.
Oh, yes, it was the perfect setting for a honeymoon.
And Josh the perfect groom.
Except he wasn’t her husband. He wasn’t her anything.
And I need to remember that, accept that. Even if I don’t like it.
Dani sank onto the spindle-back chair beside the fireplace and couldn’t stop a tear from trickling down her cheek.
Then Josh was on his knees in front of her, lifting Michael from her arms and wiping away the tear with his thumb. “Shh, sweetheart,” he whispered in a low voice that sent comforting warmth all the way to her core. “It’s okay. You’re worn out, that’s all. Michael’s alive and it’ll all be better in the morning.”
Standing, Josh deposited the baby on the bed, then stripped off his suit jacket and tie and let them drop. Unbuckled his belt and loosened the waistband of his trousers. Kicked off his shoes as he unbuttoned his shirt. Handing her the shirt, he escorted her to the bathroom, told her to undress and use the shirt as a nightgown.
When she reappeared a few minutes later, looking unbearably sexy with the shirttails around her knees and the cuffs folded back several times, Josh excused himseff to take a quick—cold—shower while she nursed Michael.
Who wasn’t hungry, just as the E.M.T. had warned them, he reminded Dani as he killed the lights and slid into bed.
They propped Michael up between them on a stack of pillows.
See? Another dream come true... Dani told herself wryly as she inhaled Josh’s clean, piney scent that clung to the pima cotton shirt wrapped around her. You’re sleeping with the most gorgeous male animal you’ve ever known.
He’s also the kindest, gruffest, sexiest, silliest...
Her eyes drifted closed in the middle of her litany.
Barely conscious, she felt a movement on the bed. Josh’s hand gently burrowed under her palm where it rested on Michael’s leg; his strong fingers entwined with hers and his breathing deepened and slowed.
With a sigh of thanksgiving, Dani checked Michael once more, made a note to call Marletta in the morning...and let herself drop into the well of sleep.
He couldn’t figure out what woke him. Didn’t know where he was for a minute.
Then a silhouette wearing a man’s shirt moved past the bed and he heard the sound again.
It was a baby gasping for breath and it drove fear straight through his heart into his soul.
“What—How is he?” Josh asked, throwing back the fancy bedding and planting his feet on the floor. Ready for action, hoping none was required.
“N-not g-good.” Dani’s attempt at control was about as sorry as his pretense of coolness under pressure.
“Then you should have waked me, dammit!” Josh barked, turning his fear to anger, just as he’d turned his anger at Carrie to icy numbness. “Get dressed,” he ordred, scrambling in the darkness to find his clothes. “We’re taking him to All Saints.”
It had been easier to slip through life untouched, like an iceberg floating in the sea, he thought as he grabbed his slacks and began pulling them on.
But he couldn’t do it. Not anymore. Mic
hael and his mother had melted that ice permanently. Stripped him defenseless against these damned, terrible feelings. Worry. Fear. Helplessness.
Joy and desire, too, he reminded himself as he took Michael and waved Dani toward her clothes. He’d never soared to such heights on one woman’s kiss. Never been brought to the very brink of passion with one look from a pair of wide, green eyes.
And never felt such tender, almost painful joy just from holding an innocent child in his arms.
A child now laboring for every breath.
“I don’t have any insurance,” Dani said, modesty forgotten as she pulled on her dress, zipped it, then handed Josh his shirt. She tried to manipulate her foot into a strappy high-heel, then abandoned the attempt. “We’d better go to the county hospital.”
Like hell. “The paramedic said All Saints is the best, so that’s where we’re going,” Josh said. Well, okay. Maybe he snarled it. But this was Michael they were talking about.
“And if they turn us away?” She snarled right back. Good. If she cratered, he would, too. “This is no time to gamble with Michael’s life.”
“Exactly.” Josh snatched the car keys off the nightstand, jammed his shirttails into his pants and his wallet into his back pocket, shoved his bare feet into his shoes and draped his suit coat over Dani’s shoulders, then jerked open the bedroom door. “So let’s move! Nobody’s going to worry about finances when a baby’s life is at stake.”
Right.
“I’m sorry,” the battle-ax behind the high counter drawled, fingering the collar of her lavender smock. “Really.”
With a thin, phony smile and cold iron in her voice, she went on. “I don’t make the rules, sir. And as I said—twice now, I believe—All Saints requires proof of insur—”
“We. Don’t. Have. Insurance!” Josh shouted. “What we have is a baby who’s...who’s...” He buried his fingers in his hair, struggling to hold on to his temper, for Michael’s sake.