“Well, you’ve just confirmed my point, Mark. The question is what has he done that would cause someone to target him publicly?”
The man looked down at the papers in front of him but didn’t respond. The camera zeroed in on the woman’s face before cutting to commercial.
“My name is Delia Randall. We’ll be right back after the break.”
I loosened my grip on the remote, letting it fall on the cushion next to me. The debate between the two people on the screen was drowned out by a loud pounding in my ears. The specific question and answer stuck in my head were the most frightening.
Has he been linked to the world of crime? There’s been speculation.
“You shouldn’t be watching that, Mia. Turn it off.”
I jumped, quickly recovering when I recognized the voice, wondering how long he had been standing there. Did he see the shock and shame that crossed my face as they accused him of everything I had tried to avoid? Of the lifestyle I knew had the power to ruin someone’s life rapidly? I knew how it could end. How it could destroy everything that got in its way.
I didn’t realize I had spaced out until Alek’s large frame came into view. He walked in front of the fireplace and angrily turned off the television. We had yet to talk about what was going on, and I decided it was the right time to bring it up. I didn’t know if there would ever be a more appropriate time.
“Maybe we should—” I stopped talking because the look he gave me was deadly. His voice came out hoarse.
“I would appreciate it if you didn’t waste your time watching the news. It isn’t accurate. It’s filled with assumptions made by unreliable resources.”
I opened my mouth to protest, then decided against it. I wouldn’t win. Alek would never allow it. He would find a way to twist it into something it wasn’t. He would manipulate me and make it appear that I was the one at fault—not him. I knew my husband well enough to see how the conversation would end before it even started. So, I did what I knew would satisfy him.
I apologized and lied through clenched teeth, praying he wouldn’t see through the invisible mask I kept over my face when I was around him. “I’m sorry, Alek. I didn’t realize…but I don’t understand how they can spread these lies about you.”
He walked over, kneeling down in front of me. His face revealed how tired he was, but along with it was an emotion I didn’t quite understand. I wanted to describe it as pain; however, it traveled far beyond that. The emotion was buried so deeply, I couldn’t find the right words to describe it. For a moment, I thought he might confide in me, but as quickly as the unknown emotion took over, it was gone.
“Mia, I need you to…” He paused, circling his arms around my waist. His grip on me was so tight, I was barely seated on the couch anymore. I was in his arms, where I hadn’t been in a long time. His touch felt distant, but the longing was still there. He was fighting it, and I had no idea why. What had I done? When would he reveal the reason behind his strange behavior? He leaned his head against my chest, taking a tiresome breath. After he was there for so long, I gently ran my hands through his hair, pulling his head up to look at me. I had never seen him so torn and conflicted.
The man I was accustomed to was no longer there. Instead, I caught a glimpse of the scared little boy he had once been. The one Avery had mentioned whenever she chose to share a small piece of their past. So, instead of questioning him about what would cause him to show me a part of him I had never seen before, I enjoyed it, because I wasn’t sure he would ever reveal himself to me again.
***
I didn’t know how long we sat there. It felt like ages, but in reality, I knew it was only minutes. Alek slowly pulled away, showing no remains of the torn man that only moments before had lay motionless in my lap. The man who stood from kneeling before me on the floor was no longer conflicted. He pulled himself together within seconds, displaying no sign of his silent cry for affection. He was once again the cold, distant man I had grown accustomed to. The man who refused to let me past a very thick barrier. However, he could never take back the moment we shared. The short time I was able to really see him.
My eyes carefully watched him as he made his way into the bathroom. There was no door to separate the two rooms, which allowed me to see every move he made. The way he skillfully undid his tie without looking in the mirror. How his large fingers carefully unclasped the buttons of his shirt. I quickly turned my head away, realizing I was lusting. Lusting for a man who hadn’t touched me in months. I knew I needed to fix things. It was the only way we would get through it. It was the only way I could pull him back to me, fix our marriage. He had showed me his weakness, even though it was only a glimpse. That meant I needed to take advantage of the opportunity.
I knew what needed to be done. I removed the lace robe I had been wearing, along with my bra and panties, quickly drinking my mimosa. It gave me a boost of encouragement. When you’ve failed to be intimate with your spouse for months, it left you with the fear of rejection. What if he turned me away? What if he didn’t want me? However, the fear didn’t detour me.
I walked toward the threshold of our bathroom, pausing to take in the view. The massive shower was made mostly of glass, which allowed me to see directly inside. Alek had his hands braced on the stone shower wall with his head down. I admired every part of him as the water trickled down his muscled back. I could tell he was stressed by the way his shoulders slumped, but it didn’t take away the aura of power that surrounded him. It just showed that even a powerful man could be broken. My husband was obviously going through something I knew nothing about, and he had no intention of sharing it with me.
I moved forward with my plan when he slowly lifted his head. I sensed he felt me watching him, but he slowly closed his eyes raising his head toward the water. I quietly opened the shower door and stepped inside. By the time he realized he wasn’t alone, my hands were already wrapped around his waist. I squeezed him tightly, showing no sign of letting go. I felt his body tense, but he eventually relaxed, placing his hands over mine.
We stayed like that for a few minutes. Our naked bodies pressed together as the steaming water trickled over us. I buried my head in his back as unplanned tears escaped my eyes. How had we gotten here? When had our marriage become strained enough for me to cheat and him to shut me out without an explanation? Could I continue to live with so many secrets and lies? What kind of reaction would he give me if I confided in him, shared my darkest secrets and foolish mistakes? Would it be smart of me to give him a heads-up before it was too late? I knew what was coming. I knew it was only a matter of time before my secrets were revealed and the past I was running from started to catch up with me.
“Alek?”
My voice was soft with my face pressed into his back.
He shifted, turning to face me. I didn’t lift my head to look at him. Instead, I pressed my face into his chest. “What is it, Mia?”
He lifted my head. The look in his eyes was foreign to me. It strangely displayed concern, sympathy. Maybe it was the perfect moment for me to reveal my secrets. A moment where we were both open, vulnerable. A time where he was willing to listen. I had his full attention. But was I brave enough to take advantage of it? There were no distractions, nothing in the way of our silent intimacy. It was just us.
“Is there something you want to tell me, baby?” His voice sliced through the semi-quiet.
The voices in my head were trying to decide what to do. The running water was beating against our naked bodies and the shower floor. Then something dawned on me. The small amount of urgency in his tone. Had I imagined it, or was it really there? What was he expecting me to say? I knew then that this wasn’t the right time.
I closed the distance between us and kissed him, needing time to figure out what was going on, what he was keeping from me. He instantly kissed me back, lifting me off the floor. I wrapped my legs around his waist, sliding my arms around his neck. His kiss was forceful and demanding. I relished every mome
nt of it, realizing how much I missed him. The feel of his body close to mine. How his kiss demanded everything from me. The addiction and craving it stirred up inside me. This was the man I married. This was the man who swept me off my feet. We never had issues with our sex life…until recently. Just with everything around it. Those were the things that slowly began to pull us apart.
He pressed my back against the shower wall, his kiss never losing momentum or force. Eventually, I had to pull away to catch my breath. He leaned his forehead against mine, his lips hovering over my own. His next words were something I hadn’t heard in a very long time.
“I love you, Mia.”
I gasped, looking into his eyes. His normal demand for an immediate response wasn’t there. He was giving me an option. He wanted the truth. He wanted my honest opinion about our marriage, about my feelings for him.
I swallowed, gathering the strength to whisper four words I wasn’t sure I meant anymore. The previous week had opened my eyes quite a bit. How could I love someone I didn’t really know? Yes. I was aware of his reputation before we married. His power wasn’t really something a person could hide, but I hadn’t given it much thought until his attack. It made me take a closer look. It made me curious. What had he done that would cause someone to try and kill him? There had to be an explanation for all of it. It seemed awfully familiar to the incident that tore my family apart. Could I bear to go through something like that again?
I pulled him tightly against me, memorizing the feel of him and his masculine scent, forcing the words out as tears leaked from my eyes.
“I love you too.”
He claimed my lips the second the words left my mouth. I could tell he needed me, and even though I was confused and worried, I needed the same from him. He gently raised my arms over my head, binding my wrists together with his hands. I felt his erection grow against my stomach, and he didn’t wait another second to plant himself inside of me. He kept my wrists bound together above my head as his thick cock thrust in and out of my moist channel.
I kissed him back aggressively. His right hand slipped around my waist, pulling us closer. I squeezed him tightly with my legs. The water streamed heavily over us as we ravished each other’s mouths. The sudden intimate act drained me of all my senses until the only thing I was aware of was his body against mine. The way he expertly claimed my lips, making sure not to pull out of me for too long before each forceful thrust he delivered.
I was weak for him. I needed him more than I imagined, more then I wanted to admit. I was enjoying the feel of our desperate aggravation when I felt him loosen his grip. My feet suddenly met the shower floor. I gave him a questioning stare, then quickly caught on to what he wanted. He took a seat on the built-in bench. I slowly crawled onto him. The position felt much more intimate. We stared into each other’s eyes for a few moments before I gripped his cock and sank down onto him. My legs were once again wrapped around his waist, and my arms found their way around his neck. Alek gripped my waist with both hands as he repeatedly thrust inside me. I rested my head against him as the steam of the shower enveloped us and the water softly pounded over my back.
The intensity of my oncoming orgasm started to take over, but it still couldn’t completely erase the question roaming inside my head. Did I still truly love my husband, and if so, was that love strong enough to withstand what was coming our way? I thought of this as my body shook and I rode the wave of ecstasy that granted us both our desired release in the end. I screamed his name over and over while my body convulsed on top of him, and he gripped me close, soothing me to a calming state. I didn’t realize I was crying until he lifted my face and gently began to kiss the tears away.
“Everything’s going to be okay, Mia. This will all be over very soon.” His words were full of promise and assurance.
I nodded, wanting to believe the words he spoke. I planted my face into his neck, crying a little bit more because he allowed it. I needed the promise and assurance that he provided. I needed that hope. However, I knew the signs weren’t in our favor. I knew the signs of war from my past. Things were only going to get worse. Just like my secret desires for a man who wasn’t my husband. His face was the one I struggled not to imagine the entire time I made love to Alek. His gray eyes were the ones I felt I could trust. Those intense gray eyes were the ones I thought I could finally reveal myself to.
Chapter Eighteen
Wesley
THERE WAS AN OLD saying. “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.” I considered this while waiting for a client at his popular restaurant in the city. It was an unanticipated meeting, but the urgency in his tone caused me to accept. What was it now? Ever since I started working with my father again, I found myself overloaded with tasks and befriending people I preferred to avoid. The person I was waiting to see was a prime example. In order to make it in our exclusive circle, you had to fake pleasantries and pretend not to know the truth about people. The illegal things they paid us to do. The tasks that would make them look bad in front of their family and friends. The true images of themselves they paid us a hefty amount to conceal.
Which is why I patiently waited and mentally prepared myself to tolerate the man I was there to see. In the past, I had slipped. I showed my true feelings at the most inappropriate times, letting my recklessness take over.
My father hadn’t been wrong to question me about the situation concerning Alek. He knew the old me. The man who would easily disobey him and go with his gut. The man who wouldn’t hesitate to do what he thought was right. That was the man I struggled to keep inside because releasing that side of me was never a good plan. I had concluded caging that part of myself wasn’t an option. It was a necessity.
I chose a seat in the back of the restaurant. I faced the door, so I had a direct view of the entrance. I could never be too safe. The restaurant didn’t typically open until after eleven, which I knew from prior visits. This visit was on an entirely different level. It wasn’t social. I wasn’t there to catch up with an old friend. I was simply doing what my family was known for—handling things that others couldn’t. I was there to make someone’s life easier, regardless of if they deserved it. It was amazing what money could do for you. It could help you out of a problematic situation. It could prevent you from falling into a trap that you unknowingly orchestrated. I knew first-hand that money was the root of all evil. Especially when it grows and spreads, eventually finding its way into the wrong person’s hands. The person I was waiting to see was someone I knew shouldn’t have it. It only gave him power he didn’t deserve.
I was considering what he could want when I heard a woman’s voice.
“Mr. Black?”
I looked up and noticed a waitress. I gave her a forced smile, not wanting to appear agitated. She took that as her cue to move closer.
“Would you like your usual, sir? I know you’ve been waiting for a while.”
I quickly observed her. She was petite, slim. I could tell by the way she comfortably leaned her body against the table that if I desired her, she would oblige willingly. Her chocolate brown eyes waited for my response. She had a natural type of beauty. I had to divert my eyes to prevent myself from staring. I secretly wondered if her boss had already indulged himself. I wouldn’t have put it past him.
I shook my head. Instead, I requested something more fitting for the hour. “How about a glass of water, beautiful?”
Her eyes lit up, and I realized she had gotten the wrong idea. I hadn’t been entirely satisfied with any woman I’d been with since Mia. I was always left disappointed. I didn’t see how the petite waitress would be any different. It would just be a waste of my time. I put my head back down, checking my emails. I needed her to get the hint that there was no chemistry between us. I wanted her to understand that I wasn’t interested.
I let out a breath when she finally walked away. It felt like she was standing there for hours.
“Still the ladies’ man, I see.”
I lifted my head, not
icing Alek had slid into the seat in front of me. He looked at ease. Maybe he had run across some information that could assist with our current issues—his wife in particular. I gave him a hard stare.
“If that’s what you want to call it.”
He smiled, adjusting his suit. “If I’m not mistaken, Wesley, I’m getting the feeling that you and I have some unresolved issues.”
I tensed, taken aback by his bluntness. I couldn’t believe he had the audacity to throw such a sensitive subject out there. He knew he was treading on dangerous ground. He didn’t want to bring up our past. He had too much to do with it. However, I had made a promise to my father that I would play nice, and with all the secrets surfacing around us, I needed my father to be there to back me up if things got off track, if I needed some type of alibi. It wasn’t a good time to piss him off. We already had enough on our plate. Alek was fortunate.
“There are no issues here, Alek. I’m sure you’re a man who can understand the stress of being in the type of business I’m in. It’s unfortunate how certain business dealings can put you on edge at times.”
He pinned his eyes to mine, knowing exactly where I was going with my response. He didn’t want to open up old wounds. It was better just to let them be. I could tell he wanted to comment, but the waitress came back. She placed a water in front of me and a dark liquor in front of Alek. He rubbed his hands together before taking a quick sip of his drink. He waited for the waitress to leave before responding.
“I think we’re both aware our day of reckoning is coming with the pending rise of Fredrick Hall.”
I pushed my water to the side and leaned forward. I was respecting my father’s wishes of being civil with Alek. However, there was no need for me to pretend everything was all right when it wasn’t.
My response was low, but loud enough for him to hear me. “I can’t say I’m surprised. We all have to pay our debts, eventually. Things don’t stay in the dark forever. Especially when you’re dealing with a man with Fredrick’s reputation.”
The Illicit Affairs Page 16