“What I did, what I had to deal with when I was away, was nothing I could share with you, Beth. Locking that part of my life away took all the energy I had. I was no longer the guy you married…nothing like him at all. I’m still not—if you can even begin to understand what I’m trying to say.”
“I understand that you never gave me a chance to try. Or…to even share things important to me. To us.” Her voice broke, and she lifted her chin in defiance. “You came home over two years ago, at Christmas.”
“I remember.”
“We had a great reunion that lasted all of a day before you walled yourself away all over again. Then you announced that you wanted a divorce, packed up and left. Our ‘two weeks’ together lasted less than three days before you took off. Great present, by the way.”
“I did you a favor, Beth.”
“Did you?” She pushed out of her chair and walked the length of the room, stopped at the open door to look down the hallway, then came back to stand in front of him, her arms still folded over her midsection. “Or was it your easy way out? Did your mother tell you? Knowing her, she probably found out and didn’t waste any time.”
“My…mother?” He’d been tracking Beth’s anger clearly, but now he stared at her. “What does she have to do with anything?”
Beth glared at him. “You unintentionally left me with the most wonderful Christmas present ever that year. I was pregnant, Dev. Joyously, incredulously pregnant. Nearly delirious with happiness, because I’d thought it would never happen.”
He stared at her in awe, and despite all the misgivings he’d ever had about having children, he now felt something warm and wonderful curl around his heart. “You were?”
“Even though we’d fought, I planned to tell you—I did.” Her eyes filled with tears and sorrow. “But then I started spotting. A lot. The doctor thought I would miscarry. I somehow made it to six months, then seven…though by then, the doc knew there was trouble of another kind.”
“I’m so sorry, Beth.”
Her eyes were fixed on some faraway point. “They thought I could go longer, and then they’d do a C-section. But I was home one night. Alone. And the blood—” Her eyes squeezed tight. “It came and it came, and even after the ambulance arrived, it wouldn’t stop.”
He wanted to take her into his arms and console her. To reassure her that there would be other babies in her life someday. But when he moved closer, she stepped back abruptly.
“There’ll be another time in your life, honey. Surely—”
“That’s another easy way out,” she said flatly. “Platitudes and empty promises. But no, there won’t be another time. I nearly died in surgery. I lost my little girl. And I’ll never be able to have another baby, ever, because of what they had to do to save my life.”
Dev suddenly felt sick to his stomach. She’d nearly died because of him—nearly bled to death. And yet he’d already walked out on their marriage, and never knew. “I…I don’t know what to say.”
“Good, because I’m not quite done.” Her sad, quiet smile held no warmth. “I mourned for my baby for a year…and there wasn’t a day when I didn’t cry over her. I can’t even begin to describe the crushing sense of loss, or how I felt during the darkest days of those first six months. Three months after she died, I received an envelope in the mail. Not a condolence card that time. It was my divorce papers.”
“The lawyers…”
She waved a dismissive hand. “I’m sure they had no idea. They were just following orders.”
He’d never wanted anything more in his life than a chance to enfold her in his arms right now. To comfort her…and himself. But from her stiff posture he also knew she wouldn’t accept it. “I don’t know what to say, what to do…how I can make any of this better.”
“You can’t. It’s been sixteen months now, and my Lord and I have worked it out after a lot of prayer. How you handle it is up to you…if you care.”
“Care?”
She lifted a shoulder. “You were always pretty adamant about not wanting to start a family. So where your emotions are in this, I couldn’t guess.” She started for the door, then turned back. “For the record, I wasn’t ever planning to tell you. My mom was the one who has always insisted that you have the right to know. But as far as I’m concerned, the subject is now closed.”
Chapter Ten
A few minutes after Janet’s family returned to the waiting room, an intern appeared at the waiting room door.
“Good news,” he said with a wide smile. “Every last test looks great, and she can be released as soon as we get her discharge papers done. Baby looks fine.”
Beth hugged Janet’s father and sons. “Take good care of her, boys. And tell her not to worry about coming into the bookstore. I’ve got everything covered.”
Out in the parking lot, Beth debated about walking home, but Dev stood at the side of his Jeep, holding the passenger side open for her. With a sigh, she climbed in.
“What are you going to do?” he asked as he slid behind the wheel. “Since Janet won’t be back for a while?”
“Believe me, that’s the least of my worries.”
“Do you have anyone in mind?”
“I already offered some part-time hours to Elana, and she agreed. I’ll see if she wants to start a little earlier. She could bring Cody along and let him read books or do homework while she works, and she’d have a chance to save more money. Perfect all the way around.”
“If I were a betting man, I wouldn’t give you very good odds on her showing up when the time comes.”
“I understand why she feels more secure working at the motel. It’s out-of-the-way, it’s quiet there during the day, there’s less chance of being seen. But this would be a good first step for her—a chance to get used to being out in public more.”
“Maybe so. I just hope there aren’t any deeper reasons for her being scared.”
They fell silent on the way to the bookstore. When Dev pulled to a stop at the curb, he turned to face her. “I still don’t know what to say. I am so sorry about everything that happened to you. And now I feel this…this big empty place in my chest. Like something huge is missing.”
“Welcome to my world, as they say. But I was serious, back there in the waiting room. I didn’t tell you for sympathy or to punish you by trying to make you feel guilty. I guess I finally agreed with my mother—that you had a right to know. This won’t affect our friendship in any way, I promise. But I don’t want to talk about it again.”
The idea had seemed perfect.
Elana had agreed.
But when Beth stopped at Sloane House the following afternoon to talk to her about the job at the bookstore, she backed away, twisting her fingers together. “I can’t,” she whispered. “I—I just can’t.”
“But the motel only offers minimum wage, and they don’t give you enough hours each week. Remember when we talked earlier? It means extra money for your school and a chance to save for an apartment.” Beth waved her toward a chair. “Let’s sit and talk about it. Okay?”
Elana dutifully sat on the cranberry velvet chair, her gaze flitting around the ornate Victorian decor of the front parlor.
“It would also mean less physical work. You could even keep your old job, if you wanted to. And when Janet comes back to work, I’ll still have some hours for you.”
“There are other people in this town needing a job. Maybe they would be better for you.”
Beth leaned forward, willing the woman to at least make eye contact, but now Elana dropped her attention to her lap.
“Yes, I could advertise, or I could offer the hours to a friend in my book club who has always wanted to work at my store, and I would offer them the same wage I’m offering you. But this is a chance for you to earn more per hour, and get some experience in a retail setting. It will also help you pay for your business classes. And once you’re done with them, you’ll be ever so much more desirable to an employer. The upscale resorts and business a
round here would fight over the chance to hire a bright, skilled bilingual woman like you.”
“I know it would be a good change. But…”
“You have a right to a happy life, Elana, and so does your son. One where you don’t need to look over your shoulder in fear.”
Elana’s eyes glistened with sudden tears. “You don’t know what it was like. I was so scared, always. Twice I called nine-one-one, but Roberto would hire his fine lawyers, and then he would be free again. And again we would have to run.”
“But that’s over. He’s where he can’t hurt you anymore.”
“Yes.” Elana wrapped her arms around her stomach. “But what if someone else tries to do the same?”
“It isn’t common behavior, Elana. It’s against the law. You can get a restraining order or have that person arrested. Dev says he’ll be moving to the cottage behind Sloane House soon, and he’s been in the Marines for years. If anyone can protect you, he can. Believe me.”
She offered a bleak smile. “I would like to.”
“Whether or not you decide to work at the store, that’s up to you. Either way, I promise you that we’ll do our best to help you.”
“I…will think about it.”
But from the way Elana fled the room, Beth doubted that she’d give it a second thought.
“Wow,” Cody whispered. “This is scary.”
Dev smothered a laugh. “Thanks. And to think it’s gonna be my new home.”
“You got spiderwebs everywhere. And,” he marveled, “I’ll bet there’s even rats!”
The boy had slipped out of the boardinghouse as soon as Dev pulled into a parking place off the alley. He’d watched from a safe distance at first, then had edged closer, his caution evident. It had taken him a good ten minutes to finally gather the courage to reach Dev’s side.
But once there, like most kids, he’d been in awe over the potential for the scary creatures that might slither, crawl or fly out of the cottage when the contents were disturbed.
“Sounds like a great selling point to me. Spiders, rats—maybe even bats.”
At the sound of Beth’s voice, Dev turned in surprise. “I didn’t expect to see you here today.”
“Why not?” She strolled across the lawn to join them, no trace of her emotional revelations in her expression or voice. “I was driving past and saw you two out here. Thought I’d offer to pitch in.” She peered through one of the dusty windows and whistled. “I know you didn’t want help when I offered before, but try to tell me now that you don’t want it. I dare you.”
He hesitated.
She turned back to face them. “Cody, you and Dev can be the spider wranglers, okay?”
Cody looked at Beth uncertainly, and she smiled back at him. “I ran into Frank and Carl out front, and they’re on their way out here, too. They said they can start taking off the screens so we can wash the windows.”
Beth’s smile was for Cody, but it still warmed places in Dev’s heart that had been empty for a long, long time…though dwelling on those kinds of feelings would be dangerous. After what she’d been through, there was no way she’d ever entertain any romantic interest in him again, and he would do well to remember it.
He shook off his wayward thoughts. “Those two old guys don’t have to do that. We’re supposed to be helping them, not the other way around.”
She touched his arm lightly, her eyes taking on a wicked gleam. “Well, they’re gathering supplies right now, and they look pretty determined. Go ahead and tell them that they’re too old to be doing something like that. I’d like to see a big, tough marine take on Carl and live to tell about it.”
Carl and Frank emerged from the back door of the house with steaming buckets of sudsy water, and strode across the lawn to the cottage. With a nod at Dev, Frank disappeared inside the cottage while Carl waited outside a window for his friend to release the latch.
A faint wash of pink infused Beth’s cheeks and she pulled her hand away from Dev’s arm, as if she’d just realized that she’d been too familiar. “I guess I’d better get busy. Where should I start?”
“Anywhere, I guess.”
She walked inside the front door, with Cody and Dev at her heels. “Just look at that lovely stone fireplace and these nice hardwood floors. With a good scrubbing and fresh paint, it’s going to be charming.” She turned slowly, surveying the room. “But that can’t start until everything is out of here. Can you believe all this stuff in here?”
A collection of old lawn mowers, garden equipment and musty furniture filled every inch of floor space; and everything was covered with thick dust and grime. Through the archway leading into the small kitchen, he could see buckets of old motor oil and dented gas cans that emitted a pungent odor.
Dev wrenched a rusted garden tiller through the living room and lugged it outside to the curb, then returned for an old-fashioned mower and coils of garden hose.
Beth’s arm brushed his as she moved past with an armload of rakes and shovels. “Oops, sorry.”
She stumbled, caught herself and continued on. Did she feel it too? These flashes from their shared past, when they’d been so aware of each other?
Probably not. She’d made her feelings about him more than clear when she’d told him about losing a baby.
On their third trip to the kitchen, a breeze fluttered through the shredded gauze curtains still hanging in the windows. Beth braced a hand on the blistered kitchen countertop and sneezed.
Reva appeared at the doorway. “Bless you.”
“Thanks.” Beth looked up at her and smiled. “Did you need something?”
“Not at all. Elana is working at the motel this morning, but we all decided we should pitch in.” She glanced around the kitchen. “I think I’ll go change clothes and bring out a bucket of soap and hot water. I can start cleaning the cabinets as soon as these counters are clear.”
“That’s a nice surprise,” Beth said after Reva disappeared. “The way things are going, we might be able to start painting tomorrow afternoon and get the place furnished by Monday.”
He looked at the pile of damaged chairs piled on a three-legged table leaning against the wall at the far end of the kitchen. “Believe me. There isn’t any usable furniture left.”
“I’ll bet there’s extra furniture in the main house, though. In the attic, if nothing else.”
“Probably a pink flowered couch, or orange and avocado curtains from the seventies.”
She flashed a brief smile. “Just your style.”
“I think I’d rather pitch a tent.”
“I’m sure you would.” She tilted her head and studied him. “By the way, I think Elana is finally considering the job at the bookstore.”
“Good for her.”
“We sat down and figured out her finances and her schedule, and she should be able to start spring semester classes in January. She’ll surely qualify for financial aid—probably even grants and scholarships that she doesn’t have to repay. Depending on what happens with that, she wants to find an apartment of her own so she can walk to school and both jobs.”
Beth pushed open a door and blindly patted the inner wall until she flipped on a light switch. The single bedroom was packed with a jumble of furniture, with a stained mattress leaning against the far wall. “There you go, Dev.” she teased. “You’ve got a bedroom set in here.”
He felt himself sinking, mesmerized by her pretty gray eyes, her silvery laugh. The mistakes of the past had dissolved into nothing, and his focus was narrowed to only her.
“It’s not too late,” she added.
It’s not too late.
She meant it wasn’t too late to save these furnishings from going to the growing pile outside, but her words jerked him back to the present. It was too late, no matter what kind of persistent and unwanted attraction he still felt for her. He knew it. Her own mother knew it. And Beth probably hadn’t given it a second thought, because she’d already written him out of her life…and given what she’
d been through, it was no wonder.
He cleared his throat. “Like I said, a tent is sounding better all the time. But I guess I’d better get back to work.”
Twenty minutes later, a car pulled up and three women dressed in faded jeans and old T-shirts piled out. When they headed straight for the cottage, he stared at them in surprise until the one with silver hair veered off to where he was loading junk into a rental trailer.
It took a moment for Dev to place her, given her casual clothes. “Olivia?”
“Ready for duty.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Hannah is still out of town, but the rest of us figured we ought to help out for a few hours. We can’t let Beth have all the fun.” She fished a business card from the back pocket of her jeans. “And while I’m here, Frank asked me to give you this.”
He studied the familiar logo of an outfitter with stores throughout the Upper Midwest. “Great store.”
“I totally agree. It belongs to my brother.”
“The whole chain?”
She shrugged. “He started small, without having the right connections, and struggled for years. If you have questions about suppliers, stock, advertising—anything, just give him a shout. He likes helping newcomers, so I’ll let him know that you’ll be calling.”
“This is wonderful. Thanks.”
A smile touched her lips. “He owes me, so I know he’ll be very happy to help you. How is it going otherwise? Have you made any progress?”
“I’ve been sketching plans for displays and shelving, and for the overall floor plan.” Dev grinned. “And I stopped at the lumberyard for some materials yesterday morning. The assistant manager helped me place an order for almost everything I need.”
“Frank says you’re aiming for an open house during the Fall Harvest Festival.”
Dev nodded. “He had some great ideas for how I can take advantage of all the foot traffic in town that weekend. Just a half-dozen merchandise shelving units and some posters on the walls will be enough to get the point across. There isn’t enough time to do much more right now.”
Winter Reunion (Aspen Creek Crossroads Book 1) Page 10