by Bowes, K T
Anahera released a shuddering breath and balled her fists in her hands. “I watched him leave, a smug look on his face and I hated him with all my heart. I left the kuia’s daughter and went home, wanting to challenge him and appeal for my children.”
Hana held her breath and felt her chest lock up. Anahera touched her olive forehead and sighed with the memory. “He laughed at me.” A stray tear rolled down her cheek and off her chin, the misery so old it stank of death. “He said he loved her and wouldn’t stop. He walked out and I felt sure he’d gone to her. I left Asher with Rueben and drove back to my sister’s house to confront them both together. I parked on the driveway of the old kuia’s empty house and saw Lincoln Haines get into his car. I waited for him to leave. I found Pania tidying her bedroom. The room reeked of them both and she was changing the sheets. When I confronted her, she shrugged. ‘It’s good money,’ she said. ‘It’s easy.’ She’d destroyed my world and she didn’t care. ‘I don’t want him,’ she replied. ‘Just his cash.’ I followed her into the lounge still shouting and she turned and slapped me so hard I lost my balance.”
Anahera’s jaw tightened. “I felt something snap inside my stomach and I knew.” The eyes which turned to Hana channelled heartbreak. “The doctor’s said my daughter was already gone by then.” Anahera touched her abdomen and winced. “I’d felt different for a few days, better somehow.” Her voice shook. “She died and my body felt better. It betrayed me.” Her eyes searched for answers. “How can that be right?”
Despite her fear, Hana reached out and touched Anahera’s hand. The other woman noticed and took the solidarity, gripping her fingers like a lifeline. “I felt a click in my brain and remember attacking Pania. I pushed her shoulders with such force she fell backwards and smashed her head on the hearth. She made no sound. I stood and watched as her blood made patterns in the carpet and my heart felt numb. Neville preferred her and now he wouldn’t be able to have her.” Anahera stuck her nose in the air, her face hardening. “I saw Linc’s wallet on the coffee table and knew he’d miss it and return. I left through the back of the house and collected my car. He arrived as I reached the other end of the street; he didn’t see me. I didn’t go back to the mountain, but drove myself to the hospital and my poor kōtiro came later that night. She looked so peaceful. Reuben picked me up from the hospital. He took care of the tangi and dealt with the arrangements. I’ve often wondered if he knew what I did, but he never said. The police came for the men one by one and then they arrested Linc. I felt nothing, not until I held Wiri in my arms and then I felt everything.” Anahera clutched her chest. “I feel it all the time now; it’s here.”
Hana swallowed as Anahera’s grief travelled through their joined fingers like a seeping darkness. Still, she didn’t let go. “I’ve wanted to tell someone for so long.” Anahera let go of Hana’s hand and looked at the male nurse, touching her fingers to her delicate chest. “It feels good to speak the truth.”
“Does Nev know?” Hana asked, her voice a low whisper.
Anahera shrugged. “Yes. He put pressure on Linc to take the blame and serve the sentence meant for me. He sent a man to the prison but I don’t remember details.” She sighed.
“He sent Kane,” Hana whispered and Anahera nodded.
“Maybe. It will be the reason Nev’s left. He grew anxious I might confess when he visited me a few weeks ago. He returned and threatened me after Linc visited and said he’d never let me see my boys again if I told the truth. I went shopping with an orderly and hid from her in a clothes shop. I needed to see you.”
Anahera looked at Hana, sanity in her eyes. “Linc lost everything. Fiona divorced him and his mother killed herself. I gave Wiri his name. Do you think he’ll understand how I tried to make up for it? I wanted to tell you so many times. The men say you’re the kuikui of the family and I knew you’d put it right.”
“I’m no matriarch,” Hana sighed. “I can’t even fix my own life, let alone someone else’s.”
“Take Wiri for me?” Anahera’s eyes begged for help and Hana’s brow knitted, denial already in her face. “You don’t understand,” Anahera persisted. “Please, listen to me and then take him.”
Hana leaned back in her chair and sighed, knowing she already regretted the visit and the weight the confession placed on her shoulders. “Okay.”
“I never let my husband near me again,” Anahera breathed, her voice little above a whisper. “I repaid him in kind. Wiri is not his son.”
Hana’s jaw dropped open and she shook her head. Everything about the child screamed Du Rose and the possibilities sickened her. “Not Reuben?” she pleaded and Anahera answered with a determined shake of her head.
“No, but he knew.” She swallowed. “He knew and he never told.”
“You paid Nev in kind?” Hana closed her eyes against Anahera’s slow smile. “Who then?” Hana demanded, hysteria leaking into her voice. “Whose child is in my home?”
She knew even before Anahera uttered the name and sickness roiled in her guts. Standing, she bolted from the room, leaving the nurse to calm Anahera and work his way through the machinations of the justice system.
Hana’s passage to the outside felt fraught with obstacles as the secure exits took an age to navigate. By the time she reached the car and Logan’s open arms, her world had already collapsed.
Chapter 66
A New Start
“Come in, come in!” Hana’s brother opened the door and waved them through, stooping to kiss Hana on the cheek. Logan accepted the outstretched hand and gave an upward jerk of his head in acknowledgement. “This is a nice surprise.” Mark ushered them through to a simple but expensively dressed lounge.
“Neat house.” Logan looked around him in approval, his eyes drifting over the evidence of bachelorhood; a car magazine on the coffee table and black cushions on the sumptuous sofa. The place oozed maleness.
“Yeah, it’s amazing,” Hana said, giving her husband a smile of thanks for his effort.
“I just bought it,” Mark announced and Hana’s lips parted in surprise.
“You decided to stay? I thought you were renting it.”
“No, I’m staying here. I’ve made my decision. The owner was happy to sell without brokers’ fees.”
“I’m so pleased.” Hana stood to embrace him and Mark patted her on the back, feeling the wince as her body tightened in pain. He lifted her face with a finger beneath her chin and examined her red eye and the surrounding bruising. His gaze strayed to the scratches on the side of her face and he lifted a lock of hair and knitted his brow at the patch of scalp showing through underneath.
“What the hell happened?” He ran his fingers down her arms as though checking a horse and pulled her hands up to his face. The wound from the flick knife blade showed as a thin red line on her palm and Mark’s attention travelled up to her wrist. Moving her sleeve back, he examined the scar tissue concealing the shard of glass he tried, but failed to remove. As always, his nose wrinkled in displeasure. The hard look he gave Logan spoke volumes and his harsh tone communicated his own guilt. “I hoped you’d take better care of my sister!”
Logan gritted his teeth and emitted a rough exhale of annoyance and Hana tensed. “It’s not his fault.” She swallowed, not wanting to discuss her ordeal. “I’m fine.” She pushed Mark’s hands away with deliberate gentleness, working hard not to offend. “Tell me what you’ve been up to. How’s your new relationship?”
Mark’s face broke into a grin which almost split it from ear to ear. “I don’t remember ever being this happy.”
Hana met his smile and backed up towards her husband, her soul craving his nearness. “That’s amazing, Mark. I’m happy for you. When do I get to meet her?”
Mark’s smile never wavered. “Soon. Shift ended about half an hour ago, so not long.”
“Great timing then.” Hana backed far enough for her spine to contact Logan’s chest and stomach and she heaved a sigh of relief. Remembering her injuries, she touched h
er face. “Maybe it’s not great timing. We should come back.”
The sound of the front door closing sent Hana’s spine rigid and she snatched at Logan’s hand in fear. His arms fixed around her chest from behind, bringing comfort and security. Mark wagged a finger at her. “You need to tell me the story about all these injuries, Hana. I’ll get it out of you.”
Her nod appeared half-hearted as her attention fixed on the open lounge doorway. Hana readied her expression in expectation of meeting Mark’s new love interest, hoping the woman saw past the cuts and bruises. Logan’s hands slipped to her stomach and he caressed her waist with gentle strokes of solidarity.
Chapter 67
The Strange and the Wonderful
“Whoa! Bet ya didn’t see that coming,” Logan hissed in her ear as Hana gaped, her jaw dropping in a most unladylike manner. He jabbed her in the ribs and she tensed and galvanised herself to meet the newcomer.
“Hi, I’m Hana, Mark’s sister. Well, cousin actually, but I only discovered that recently.” The colour rushed to Hana’s cheeks in her awkwardness and she heard Logan snort at her verbal diarrhoea. Everything about Mark’s new partner threw her and she didn’t know how to react.
“We’ve talked about it all; don’t worry.” Mark looked pleased with himself and electricity sparked in the air around him as he gave a goofy, love struck grin.
“We’ve met, I believe.” Mac’s specialist shook Hana’s hand and gave her a wink, making her blush to the roots of her hair.
“Yes, we have.” Hana turned, imploring Logan for help. “This is my husband, Mac’s father. Logan, this is the doctor we saw at the hospital.”
Logan gave an upward jerk of his head and accepted the outstretched hand of greeting. Hana held her breath, sneaking a look at Mark. Her brother chewed his lower lip with nervousness and his eyes darted from Hana to his boyfriend and back again. She saw a world of agony in the seconds during which the mask slipped and he revealed his vulnerability. Catching her looking, he fixed a smile of bravado on his face and faked joviality. “I’ll make us some drinks,” he chorused. “What does everyone want?”
“Water please,” Logan said and while Hana floundered, “she’d like tea.”
“Okay, okay!” Mark clapped his hands together and gestured towards his companion. “Could you help me a moment, Dean?”
“Yeah, sure.” The handsome doctor turned and followed Mark into the hallway and she heard their footsteps going into the next room.
“Bloody hell!” Logan hissed. “He’s gay!”
“I kinda worked that out,” Hana said. “I’m so confused. He said he met someone at the hotel and they worked at Auckland hospital but were transferring to the Waikato. I swear he said it was a woman!” She cast her mind back but came up empty. “Actually I think I assumed it was a woman. When I met him at the hospital, I knew I’d seen him before. Remember that night we went to Alex’s restaurant and we saw a group of men from the conference, that’s where I saw him.” She cringed at the memory of her bathroom crazy moment. “Great, now he’s seen me crying my eyes out twice. How do I handle this?” The colour drained from her face. “Oh my goodness! My father will go crazy!”
Logan shook his head and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “I think you’d be surprised how accepting older people can be.” His lips quirked upwards in a smirk. “I’m glad it’s your family and not mine; damned if I’d know what to say.”
“Thanks for that. Not helpful.” Hana chewed on her lip. “When I think about Mark’s history and all his problems, it kinda makes sense. What if that’s why he’s spent his life searching and making mistakes? Because he wore a persona which didn’t fit him?”
Logan shrugged and sat on the leather sofa. “I don’t know, Hana. I grew up in a whānau which didn’t tolerate difference. I have no blueprint for this; sorry.”
Hana rolled her eyes and sat next to him. “I need time to think and accept this. It feels awkward drinking tea and chatting about the weather.”
“You can’t leave. He’ll assume you’re judging him. You’ve got a great relationship after twenty-six years of nothing, so don’t sacrifice that.”
Hana nodded. “You’re right. He might not be my brother but I do love him.”
“Then what else matters?” Logan ran his fingers across her thigh and leaned his head back against the seat. His eyes closed and Hana watched as his mind switched to another location, dealing with farm issues and costing solutions in his head.
“I can’t believe you just said that.”
“What?” Logan opened one eye and squinted at her. “That only love matters? Yeah, I can’t believe I said it either.”
Mark walked into the room as Hana slapped Logan’s stomach and her husband grunted in mock pain. “Beating my brother-in-law up again, are you?” Mark said with a smile in his voice. “It never ends does it, Logan?”
Logan sat up and accepted the ice water from Mark’s tray. “Nope.” He winked at Hana. “But it’s better than being on my own. Sometimes,” he added, drawing a hiss of indignation from Hana and a laugh from Mark.
Dean put his head around the door frame and gave a wave to the room in general. “I’ll leave you to chat. I need a shower anyway.” His head disappeared and Hana felt relief at his tact.
“I love what you two have,” Mark said, his expression sobering as he looked from Hana to Logan. “I never dreamed I’d be capable of loving someone to that extent, but I’m beginning to believe I am.”
Logan squirmed in discomfort, receding inside himself and concentrating on his water. His scarred index finger traced a line around the rim of the glass. Hana’s giggle brought him out of it with a jolt. “You’re talking to a Du Rose,” she said to Mark. “Du Roses don’t talk feelings or emotions. They just hit things and it somehow makes them feel better.”
Mark’s brow narrowed. “Yes, like that poor young man up at the farm.”
Confusion reigned in Hana’s expression. “What poor young man? What farm?”
“Your place.” Mark shifted in his seat. “I think he said his name was Archer, but he cried so hard it made him difficult to understand. After he shared so much of himself it seemed impolite to ask his name again.”
“Asher?” Hana peered at her brother over her mug and felt Logan sit up straighter next to her. “What about him?”
“Sorry, I shouldn’t interfere.” Mark shook his head and busied himself with pouring tea and stirring in far too much sugar for a practicing doctor. “You’ve taken my news so well that I thought...it doesn’t matter; forget I spoke.”
“I can’t.” Logan’s tone sounded acerbic and Hana watched the dangerous tick begin in the vein in his neck. “Finish it, now you’ve started.”
Mark writhed in discomfort. “He’s a homosexual. The poor boy’s lost, Hana.” He appealed to her gentler nature and avoided the rolling storm in Logan’s grey eyes. “He’s convinced his family will disown him and he’s angry; so angry.” Mark ran his fingers over his chin. “Just like I used to be.”
Hana watched the stiffness of Logan’s body as he processed the news. His face darkened and closed and she sighed as the portcullis crashed down over his feelings, freezing her out. She hoped it would be temporary and not rob her of their recent closeness. As Logan remained silent and the awkwardness grew, Hana floundered.
“Will you speak to him?” Mark asked and Hana cringed.
“I don’t know, Mark.”
He looked disappointed. “If you do, give him my best regards and let him know I had his best interests at heart. No malice intended.”
“It’s fine.” Hana shook her head and brushed it off. “Asher attacked me at the house a few days ago; he’s not welcome at the moment.” She chewed her lip, the reason for his anger and hatred of the family laid bare. Reaching inside herself, Hana found a thread of compassion for him and tried to nurture it. “If I see him, I’ll tell him.”
They parted at the door on good terms and Mark stroked Hana’s cheek, his eyeb
row raised in question. “You’ll tell me the story of this another time?” he asked and peered at her sore eye.
“For sure. How about coffee? Text me?” She understood his question reached further than the bruises and scratches on her body; seeking acceptance like a drowning man. Her willingness to meet with him pushed confidence into his expression and his hands shook with relief.
“I will, I promise.” Mark let her go. “Am I still Aasshole in your contacts’ list?”
Hana grinned and followed Logan’s retreating back. “Not telling.” She watched her husband open the passenger door for her and climbed onto the rail, waving to Mark over Logan’s shoulder. Her husband slammed the door and gunned the engine, backing out onto Hammond Street and not waiting for the automatic gates to slide closed before driving away. Hana glanced at him sideways and bit her lip. Marriage to a Du Rose taught her not to press for confidences while Logan still felt raw. Instead she watched through the window as Hamilton drifted by, the industrial metropolis giving way to green paddocks and dairy herds.
She leaned her head back against the head rest and closed her eyes, auditing her various injuries and declaring herself sound. Despite that fact she craved the peace of the mountain, the solitude of the museum she built from the remnants of Du Rose history and the raw reliance on the earth which came with farming the craggy landscape. “How long till we go home?” she asked, turning her head to meet Logan’s tortured eyes.