by Aiden Thomas
Yadriel sat back, eating a dry cheeseburger from the cafeteria. He liked watching Julian when he was focused in on something. His heavy brow got all scrunched up, eyes sharp as he caught the very tip of his tongue between his teeth. He was so animated. When he made a goal, he’d punch the air and let out an excited whoop. When he missed, he’d throw his hands up and dramatically flop onto his back in the grass. Yadriel caught Maritza eyeing him more than once. Each time, he tried to force the stupid grin off his face, but it always came right back.
By the end of the day, exhaustion was starting to win out. After two nights of very restless sleep, it was a miracle he’d made it that long. To make matters worse, the last class of the day was history, and Mr. Guerrero was the absolute worst. He spoke in a monotone completely devoid of inflection.
Slowly, Yadriel sank in his seat until his textbook was functioning as a pillow, chin propped on his folded arms. Keeping his eyes open took effort, and his hoodie was warm and soft, clearly working against him as it tried to lure him into taking a nap right on his desk.
“Hey! Wake up!”
Julian had wandered back from poking around in students’ backpacks.
Yadriel let out a dismissive rmph in reply.
Julian dropped into a squat in front of him. He gripped the edge of the desk and rested his chin on his fingers, bringing himself to eye level with Yadriel, their noses a few inches apart. “Can we go on a walk? Let’s go on a walk. Doesn’t that sound nice?” he asked, a barely contained ball of energy shoved into the body of a teenager boy.
Yadriel focused on the dark eyes staring at him expectantly. He gave Julian an unamused look. He wasn’t going to ditch class, especially not this close to the end of the day. He just needed to survive a little while longer.
“Just a quick one!” Julian argued, as if reading his mind. “Around the school?”
When Yadriel blinked slowly at him, Julian amended it to “Okay, okay, okay, just down the hall and back?” He drummed his fingers on the desk and bounced on the balls of his feet.
Yadriel hated to admit it, but that did sound appealing. If he could get up and move around, maybe it’d wake him up a bit. It wasn’t like he’d be able to rest any time soon.
Yadriel huffed a big sigh and sat up. “Mr. Guerrero?” he asked, raising his hand. “Can I use the restroom?”
“Yes!” Julian was on his feet and out the door before Mr. Guerrero could hand over a hall pass.
Yadriel stretched his hands over his head, twisting his back this way and that as they walked down the empty hallway.
“Good Lord, how do you sit through that every day?” Julian demanded with a mystified shake of his head.
“It’s not that bad, usually,” Yadriel said through a yawn. “When I’m more awake, it’s downright tolerable.”
“I would die,” Julian told him. “Like, again.”
Yadriel chuckled.
“You’re really into this school stuff, huh?” Julian asked with an amused grin.
Yadriel shrugged, rubbing his fist against his eye. “I want to get into a good college, get a good job, help support my family, be successful.”
Julian cut him a cross look. “Tch, you don’t have to be good in school to be successful,” he told him, annoyed.
“No, you’re right,” Yadriel backpedaled, suddenly much more awake. “I just meant—”
“Carlos—the guy my dad opened his mechanic shop with?—he didn’t even finish high school!” Julian went on. “He got an appendixship—”
“Apprenticeship—”
“Got a job right off the bat, learned all the tricks of the trade, made hella money,” Julian continued, punching his fist into his palm for emphasis. “Eventually opened his own shop and did it all without a degree and zero student-loan debt.” Chin tilted proudly, he gave Yadriel a challenging look.
For a second, Yadriel didn’t know how to respond. He was a little caught off guard by Julian’s very valid observation, and felt ashamed of himself for saying something so obviously classist.
Maritza would be ashamed of him.
“You’re totally right, I apologize,” Yadriel said, holding his hands up in surrender. “I just meant—”
Julian stopped. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait, I missed it, what was that?” he asked, holding his hand up to his ear with feigned confusion.
“Oh my God,” Yadriel groaned.
“Something about me being right?” Julian preened.
The hallway ended, and Yadriel stopped. “You’re insufferable,” he said, glancing around.
“Yeah, but I think you’re kinda into it,” Julian replied with a casual shrug.
Yadriel chose to ignore him.
There was a water fountain and restrooms on either side. Yadriel headed for the girls’.
“What are you doing?” Julian asked with a critical arch of an eyebrow.
“Using the bathroom,” he said.
Julian hooked his thumb toward the door to the boys’ restroom. “Uh, wrong one, dude.”
Yadriel hesitated. “Uh … I haven’t ever actually used the boys’ bathroom,” he confessed, face growing hot.
“What?” Julian frowned. “Why?”
Sometimes, Julian surprised Yadriel by how knowledgeable he was.
Other times, not so much.
“Several reasons,” Yadriel said, crossing his arms. “Including, but not limited to: people harassing me, calling me names, pushing me around, general humiliation,” he listed off. Truthfully, he’d never worked up the nerve to use the boys’ bathroom. In public, he always tried to find a gender-neutral stall, which was difficult. They didn’t have those at school, so Yadriel just held it for as long as he could before forcing himself to use the girls’, and only during class, when it was less likely he’d run into someone.
“Oh.” Julian expression softened for a moment, which Yadriel hated, but then it contorted into anger, which was much less humiliating. “People are assholes.”
A surprised laugh leaped in Yadriel’s throat. “People are assholes,” he agreed.
“Well, there’s no one around right now,” Julian pointed out. He went up to the metal door to the boys’ bathroom and literally stuck his head through it, earning another laugh from Yadriel. “And nobody inside!” Julian’s voice echoed from inside. He straightened and turned to Yadriel. “I mean, if you wanna see what all the fuss is about, now’s your chance,” he said with a grin.
Yadriel scoffed, not sure if Julian was making fun of him, but … his humor did make the whole thing less … scary. He would make himself an anxious mess, loitering outside the boys’ bathroom and trying to work up the nerve to go inside, and he always ended up flaking out.
But Julian’s bad jokes, easy smile, and nonchalance seemed to suck all the stress out of the situation. Or at the very least, dilute it.
“Fine,” Yadriel huffed, as if he were doing Julian a favor. He headed for the bathroom, and Julian moved to follow him. “What are you doing?” Yadriel demanded.
“What?”
“You can’t go in there with me!” Yadriel balked.
“It’s not like I’m gonna watch you!”
Yadriel spluttered. “I—I have a shy bladder!”
Julian threw his head back, letting out a deep belly laugh. “Oh my God!”
“I can’t go if I know you can hear me!”
“Okay, okay, okay!” Julian laughed, a big grin on his face. “I’ll stand guard,” he said, tapping two fingers to his temple like a salute. “Should I cover my ears? Sing a song?”
“Shut up!” With that, Yadriel stomped inside before he could change his mind.
And suddenly, he was standing in the boys’ bathroom for the first time in his life. Yadriel looked around. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but after all the buildup it was a little … lackluster. And smelly.
But he was a boy, and if this was what their bathrooms were like, then he’d get used to it.
When Yadriel walked back out, Julian wa
s leaning against the wall, still looking far too amused.
“You’re not covering your ears.” Yadriel glared. “And I didn’t hear you singing.”
“My singing voice is too sexy,” Julian said with a solemn shake of his head. “You’d fall in love with me, like, immediately.”
Yadriel rolled his eyes and started back toward class.
Julian fell into step next to him. “Was it everything you’d dreamed it would be?” he asked.
“Truly magical,” Yadriel drawled in response, but he was grinning, despite his best efforts. Excitement tingled up and down his arms. He’d officially used the men’s restroom for the first time, and at school! Sure, there wasn’t anyone else around, other than Julian, but it still felt like a huge step closer to being himself. Yadriel glanced to Julian from the corner of his eye. “Thanks.”
Julian smiled. “Any time, patrón.”
* * *
When school was over, they met Maritza by the parking lot before heading to the cemetery.
“That was the most fun I’ve ever had at school, ever,” Julian said, walking backward down the sidewalk.
“Oh, really?” Maritza asked, patting at her braids and wincing. “Did you learn a lot?”
Julian laughed. “No, but there was other stuff to keep me occupied,” he said, before twisting around and heading down the street.
“Uh-huh,” Maritza hummed, looking over at Yadriel with a smirk. “I’m sure there was.”
Yadriel scowled, hating how hot his cheeks felt. “Shut up,” he hissed under his breath.
Luckily, Julian was up ahead and out of earshot, yanking leaves off bushes as he walked by.
“Hey, I’m not hating,” Maritza said, at least having the decency to keep her voice down. “I mean, having a ghost boyfriend might be kinda hot.” Her knowing smile was obnoxious.
He shoved her and, great, now his armpits were actually sweating. “Itza!”
She laughed, very pointedly looking Julian up and down from behind. “He has been practicing his ghost moves, maybe—”
“Oh my God, stop!” Yadriel said sharply, unable to take the teasing anymore. “It’s not like that!” he huffed. “It can’t be like that.” His eyes trailed off to Julian, watching as he hopped up onto a short brick wall surrounding someone’s house and walked along it.
Yadriel tried to stomp down the fluttery, twisty feeling, the low rush in his stomach.
“I mean, might as well enjoy it while he’s around,” Maritza whispered, giving him a little nudge with her elbow.
“He might not be around for much longer,” Yadriel snapped. The butterflies were quickly replaced with queasy churning. “Especially not after last night.”
Maritza frowned. “What happened last night?”
Keeping his voice down, Yadriel told her about Julian’s unbecoming the night before. How he’d writhed in pain. The blood on his shirt. The way he’d disappeared. The memories turned the blood in his veins icy.
When he finished, Maritza’s teasing smile and knowing looks were gone, replaced with one of pure alarm. “That’s so creepy.”
Yadriel shivered. “Yeah, no kidding.”
“I don’t think he should stay with you anymore.”
It was so unexpected, Yadriel came to a halt. “Wait, what?”
“Maybe we should leave him somewhere during the night, like back in the old church?” she suggested, her eyes trained on Julian’s back.
Yadriel frowned at her, suddenly feeling both defensive and protective of Julian. Exhaustion and frayed nerves did not help his mood. “What are you talking about?”
Maritza made a frustrated sound at the back of her throat. “What if he loses it and goes all dark spirit on you in the middle of the night?”
Yadriel shook his head. “Julian wouldn’t hurt me.”
“Julian wouldn’t,” she said. “But if he goes maligno, he’s not Julian anymore.”
Yadriel turned away from Maritza’s knowing look. “Let’s just get through today, okay?” Yadriel said. “Luca said he’d meet us right after school.”
Maritza sighed but didn’t argue further.
Yadriel watched as Julian dragged his fingers along a chain-link fence. He squinted in the sunlight, grinning as a cherry-red muscle car drove by, cumbia blaring from the speakers. Julian was happy in the city, Yadriel could see that. He liked the noise and the bustle and the people. It suited him. It was where he belonged. Not dead and in the afterlife, no matter how nice it was.
For the first time, it struck him how terribly unfair this all was. He hadn’t really thought about what it meant, when all of this was over, after he released Julian’s spirit and he was gone.
He didn’t deserve death. He didn’t deserve any of this. Julian had literally died protecting his friends. And Yadriel was quite certain he didn’t deserve Julian. There was no reason for Julian to help him find Miguel, but he did it anyway, and there was no way Yadriel could ever repay him.
He gave everything and expected nothing in return.
Yadriel’s heart ached.
No, none of them deserved Julian Diaz.
FIFTEEN
“Gotta check in with my parents and grab the dogs,” Maritza said as she crossed the street to her house. “You two wait out here. They would ground me for life if they knew I was hanging out with a spirit.”
Julian feigned offense.
She ran across the street and into the house. The screen door slammed shut behind her.
Yadriel collapsed against a nearby wall, letting his head fall back against cool brick as he closed his eyes. Sirens wailed in the distance. A loud drill sounded from the construction on the main road. He could hear Maritza and her family’s raised voices—not yelling, just vying to be heard.
“Hey.” Julian’s quiet voice tickled his ear. “Don’t fall asleep, you might topple over, and I can’t catch you.”
“Mmm,” Yadriel hummed, peeking one eye open.
Julian leaned his shoulder against the wall, grinning down at him.
“It’s your fault I’m this tired,” Yadriel grumbled.
“Hey, hey, hey, don’t use me as your escape goat.”
Yadriel exhaled a tired laugh. “Scapegoat, Jules.”
A dimple pressed into Julian’s left cheek as he dragged his teeth over his bottom lip.
Yadriel’s heartbeat fluttered in his throat. He forced his eyes closed, trying to push Maritza’s words out of his head. Don’t do it, he told himself. The only thing more stupid than going around his family’s back, summoning spirits, and trying to solve multiple murders would be falling for a dead boy.
Especially if it was Julian Diaz.
A moment later, the sound of a screen door slamming and the jingling of collars announced Maritza’s return. “We’re good!” she said, Donatello dragged her forward so he could slobber over Yadriel’s hand, whacking himself in the face with his tail as he wiggled with excitement. Michelangelo sat back on his haunches and burped. Maritza rolled her eyes and waved her hand in front of her nose. “Jesus, gordito.”
“She didn’t mean it,” Yadriel said, giving Michelangelo a good scratch.
“This is for you.” She tossed Yadriel a can, and he clumsily caught it. It was a sugar-free Red Bull. “Paola drinks, like, two a day.”
Yadriel cracked it open.
“Oh man, I love that stuff!” Julian whined.
“You hopped up on an energy drink sounds like a literal nightmare,” Maritza told him.
Yadriel took a swig and nearly choked. “Ugh!” he coughed. “It’s disgusting.”
“Yeah, well, it’ll wake you up!” Maritza said, giving him a hard thump on the back. “So suck it up!”
When they got to the cemetery, Luca was already waiting. He rolled back and forth on his skateboard, anxiously craning his neck this way and that, as he tried to see into the cemetery without getting too close. When he spotted Yadriel and Maritza, his body relaxed and he waved at them with a smile. “Thought you guys chang
ed your mind for a second,” Luca admitted. He was wearing the same sweater again, his fingers lost in the sleeves as he fidgeted.
“Just had to make a detour,” Maritza told him.
He beamed at the dogs but lurched to a stop, glancing at Maritza for permission.
“Go for it.”
Luca sank to his knees. Donatello and Michelangelo viciously smothered him with wet dog kisses, sending Luca into a fit of laughter.
“The guy needs a dog,” Yadriel said, smiling. The Red Bull was starting to kick in.
“The guy needs a home, first,” Julian grumbled. He looked less than enthused, his posture rigid and expression surly.
It was starting to get cold out, the clouds overhead turning dark and gray. Since it was a Thursday afternoon, folks were beginning to gear up for the weekend. Garage doors stood open with people milling around inside, music blaring, red cups in hand. People cruised up and down the streets in souped-up mods and beat-down junkers.
Maritza and Luca babbled away, easily bouncing between topics while Yadriel hung back, watching Julian. The closer they got, the more Julian withdrew. By the time they made it to the correct street, he was silent and hanging back at Yadriel’s side. His shoulders were hunched up to his ears, his jaw clenched tight.
“It’s just up ahead!” Luca announced, kicking his skateboard into his hand as he fell into step next to Maritza.
“We’ll just be in and out, really quick,” Yadriel said, his nerves getting the better of him the closer they got. “We just need to see if he knows anything, and steal something that has Julian’s scent on it.” It was simple enough. How hard could it be?
“Anything we should know going in?” Yadriel asked.
“Uh—no.” Luca shook his head. “I dunno. This is all kind of weird.” He looked around. Maybe searching for Julian again. “Just try to tell the truth; Rio’s really good at spotting liars,” Luca told him, clearly having learned from experience.
“Awesome,” Maritza grumbled.
“And he doesn’t like dogs,” Julian added.
Yadriel took a deep breath. “Then we’re off to a great start.”