Tears brimmed in her eyes and then fell down her cheeks as she continued to gaze at him. “I... I was raped, Flint. And my rapist is the father of my baby.”
Chapter 5
Why had she told him? Oh, God, she shouldn’t have told. She shouldn’t have ever told. She had never intended to tell anyone. Now Flint would look at her differently. He’d feel differently about her.
She jumped up from the sofa and turned her back on Flint. She didn’t want to see his disgust for her in his eyes. Just thinking about what had happened to her made her feel so dirty and ugly.
The memories of that horrible night mentally pummeled her and even though she felt like crying all over again, she sucked in a deep breath to staunch any further tears. She’d shed enough tears and crying changed nothing. She’d been beaten and raped and now she was pregnant with her rapist’s child. She steeled herself and then turned back to look at him.
“My God, Madison. How did it happen? Who did this to you?”
Thankfully, she saw no judgment in his eyes, only a stunned shock. She drew in a deep breath and released it slowly. “It happened a little over three months ago. It was storming and I was driving home after work. I’d gotten about halfway home when my stupid car broke down.”
She was grateful that her voice held none of the emotion that boiled and churned inside her. “He drove up and asked me if I needed a ride home. I knew I couldn’t get the car running again and I knew him from around town and he had a good reputation, so I agreed to the ride.”
She stared at a spot just over Flint’s head. She remembered the rain that had pelted the car window, the wipers swishing back and forth and the lightning that had split the night sky. Thunder had boomed overhead, but he’d been so nice and she was immediately put at ease.
Her throat constricted as she once again gazed at Flint, and the memories continued to assault her. “He was so nice and all I wanted was a ride home. When we got to my trailer he insisted that he walk me to the door because he had an umbrella to shield me from the rain. So he walked me to the door and when we got there he shoved his way inside and began to beat me.”
She raised a hand to her face, remembering his fists slamming into her and the excruciating pain of each blow. “He liked it...he liked hitting me. It...it made him excited. He laughed while I was moaning in pain. And then...and then he raped me.”
Her breath caught in the back of her throat. She drew a deep breath and then continued, “I thought it was done...that he...he would never bother me again after that night, but I was wrong.”
“He came back?” Flint’s voice was soft.
She gave a curt nod as her emotions once again threatened to get away from her. “He came back the night before you found me in your barn. But that night I barred my door. I moved every piece of furniture I owned in front of the door and he banged and banged on it. It was like the thunder from the first time he’d gotten inside was back and I was so afraid that he’d manage to get in, but eventually he went away.”
“Who, Madison? Who did this?”
She ignored his question. “I knew the only way to assure that he would never touch me again was to leave Bitterroot. Besides, the last thing I wanted him to know was that I was pregnant with his baby. He would try to take the baby away from me. So I spent the next day packing up my car with everything I thought I would need to start over someplace else. And then my car broke down and here I am.”
Flint gestured for her to rejoin him on the sofa. She suddenly realized the storm that had been overhead had passed and the only sound she could hear was the frantic beating of her own heart.
She sank down on the sofa next to Flint and wrapped her arms around her stomach. “That’s why I told you this baby has no father. No matter how I conceived, I love this baby growing inside me.”
“Madison, please tell me who beat you and raped you. Tell me his name.” Flint’s eyes were glazed with a hard glint she’d never seen before.
She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter who he is. He’ll never get the opportunity to hurt me again. And even if I did tell you his name, you wouldn’t believe me.”
That was what he’d told her when he was beating her...that nobody would ever believe her if she told. He had all the power and she was just a stupid checker at the grocery store who lived in a cheap trailer park. And someplace in the very depths of her heart she’d believed him. Nobody would ever believe her.
“Try me, Madison. I would believe anything you tell me,” he replied.
“I can’t, Flint. I won’t. Just leave it alone now.” The wild emotions that had raced through her were gone, leaving her utterly exhausted. “But I need you to know I didn’t flirt with him. I didn’t lead him on in any way. All I wanted was a ride home in the rain.”
His gaze softened. “Oh, Madison, that thought never even crossed my mind. I... I can’t even find the words. I’m just so damned sorry you had to go through that.” He reached out and took one of her hands in his. “You definitely didn’t deserve what happened to you.”
Even though someplace in her mind she’d known that, she hadn’t realized just how much she’d needed to hear it from somebody else. Tears shimmered in her vision. “Thank you, Flint,” she said softly.
“You know, you should probably talk to somebody...maybe a therapist. You know Ellie Miller is a psychologist here in town. I think you definitely have a little PTSD.”
“Maybe, but I won’t talk to anyone in Bitterroot.” She sighed. “I’m just really tired right now and I’m sure you’re exhausted, too. The storms have stopped and I just want to go to sleep.”
She stood. Although the last thing she wanted was to be alone with her memories, she really was depleted by reliving it all just now. All she wanted to do now was forget it all and fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.
He stood, his gaze intense on her. “Are you sure you don’t want to tell me his name?”
“Yes, I’m sure. Besides, it doesn’t matter now. It’s over and done and hopefully I’ll never have to see his face again.” She walked him to the door, although she could tell he was reluctant to leave her alone. “You don’t have to worry about me, Flint. I’ll be fine for the rest of the night.”
He stopped at the door and turned back to face her. He reached out and gently dragged his fingers down the side of her face. “You aren’t in this alone anymore, Madison.” He leaned forward and kissed her cheek.
She wanted to turn her head so his lips captured hers, but she didn’t. And in any case his gentle kiss only lasted a moment and then he was gone.
Madison locked the door after him and then went into her bedroom. She was oddly relieved by telling Flint what had happened to her. She’d lived with the pain and the horror of it for a little over three long months, and sharing it had eased some of her pain, but certainly not all of it.
It had taken weeks for her bruises to fade and for her body pain to heal from the beating he’d given her. It would take her a lot longer to forget the abject horror she’d felt on that night.
She knew eventually she probably needed to talk to somebody professional to deal with the emotional issues the attack had left behind. She had terrible nightmares about it far too often.
She hadn’t lied to Flint when she told him she loved her baby. She’d been appalled when she’d first discovered she was pregnant. However, she’d quickly been able to separate the innocent life she carried from the evil man who had been part of creating it.
She changed her clothes and got into bed. Even though she’d wanted to immediately fall asleep, her thoughts went right to that moment when Flint had touched her face and the sweet kiss he’d given her on her cheek.
It surprised her how much she wished he’d given her a real kiss on the lips. She’d wanted him to wrap his big, strong arms around her and kiss her until he found every cold spot inside her and warmed them.
Oh yes, the desire she had for him surprised her. She’d worried that she would never feel that way for a man again. Her rapist might have taken a lot away from her, but apparently, he hadn’t taken away her ability to want a kind and gentle man like Flint.
She had to keep reminding herself that this cabin was just a temporary resting place. More important, she had to remember that Flint was just being kind to her and he couldn’t be anyone important to her.
Even knowing that, he felt like somebody important. And he was getting more important to her each day that they spent time together.
This felt like home when he arrived each evening for dinner. He felt like home when they ate together and talked and laughed.
But he couldn’t be the cowboy she wanted. He couldn’t be the man who would give her a romance novel’s happy ending because her happy ending could never happen in Bitterroot.
* * *
It was just after noon the next day when Flint entered the drugstore to see about buying Madison her prenatal vitamins. He’d spent most of the night tossing and turning as he’d replayed over and over again what Madison had told him.
He wanted the name of the man who had hurt her...the man who had beaten and raped her. If he had the name, then he would hunt him down and beat the hell out of him. At the very least the man needed to be arrested and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
He couldn’t imagine the horror and the pain that Madison had experienced at the hand of a man. The terror he’d seen in her eyes haunted him. No wonder she’d greeted him with a butcher knife when she hadn’t really known anything about him. If she slept with a knife beneath her mattress every day for the rest of her life he would understand.
The fact that some man who lived in Bitterroot had done this to any woman enraged him. Who? Who had done this terrible thing? Who, in Bitterroot, was hiding this kind of sick madness inside him?
He was hoping that Madison would trust him with the man’s name, but he realized that might take a little time. He was just grateful she’d trusted him enough to tell him what she had.
He now walked up the vitamin aisle in the drugstore and froze as he saw Mabel McAllistar standing there. Mabel was part of a group of older women who were retired from their jobs, but worked full-time at gossiping.
“Hello, Flint,” she said.
“Mrs. McAllistar.” He tipped his hat to her.
“I’m in here looking for something for good colon health. Are you looking for anything in particular?” Her beady brown eyes gazed at him with open curiosity.
“I...uh...think I might have a little poison ivy and so I’m looking for something for the itch.”
“You have a rash? Let me see it and I can tell you if it’s poison ivy.”
“Ma’am, in order to show you the itch I’d have to drop my drawers,” Flint replied.
“Oh, my.” A blush covered her cheeks. “Well, we can’t have that, now, can we? My George gets poison ivy almost every summer. Let me show you the cream that works best for him.” To Flint’s surprise she grabbed him by the arm and pulled him down the next aisle.
“This really isn’t necessary,” he protested. “I could find something myself.”
“Nonsense. We don’t want you itching and feeling miserable because you bought the wrong brand,” she replied. She stopped in front of the medicated creams section and scanned the boxes and bottles. “Ah, here it is. You’d better get the big bottle so you have plenty. You know how easily poison ivy spreads.” She grabbed the bottle off the shelf and handed it to him.
“Thank you.” He took the bottle from her and then he headed for the cashier and paid. He left the pharmacy, but didn’t go far. There was no way he could buy any prenatal vitamins while Mabel was in the store.
He needed to wait until she left and then he’d go back inside and get what Madison needed. He walked a short distance down the sidewalk and then leaned back against the grocery store building. From this vantage point he would be able to see when Mabel left the drugstore, and hopefully she wouldn’t see him.
He straightened as he saw Brad Ainsworth and his close friend Charlie Kudrow headed in his direction. Flint didn’t really know the mayor’s son that well, although he knew he worked as an insurance agent. Charlie was a big animal veterinarian and had been out to the ranch on more than one occasion when a cow or horse was ill or injured.
“Hey, Flint,” Charlie greeted him with smile.
“Brad... Charlie,” Flint replied.
“What are you doing just hanging out on the street?” Charlie asked.
“Just taking a moment to enjoy the sunshine after the storms last night,” Flint replied.
“We’re headed to the café for some lunch. You want to join us?” Brad asked.
“Thanks, but I need to get back to the ranch in just a little while.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Mabel leave the pharmacy. “But thanks for the invite.”
The minute the two men disappeared into the café’s front door, Flint hurried back inside the pharmacy. He searched the shelves but didn’t find any prenatal vitamins. He finally headed to the back where the owner and head pharmacist Ed Parker stood behind a counter.
“Flint, I was wondering when you were going to show up to get that prescription I’ve been holding for you,” Ed said.
“Actually, I’m not here about that.” It had been a little over three weeks ago since Flint had received a diagnosis and the doctor had written him a prescription, but somehow in his mind if he didn’t pick up the meds, then he didn’t have the disease.
“I need some prenatal vitamins, but I didn’t see them on the shelf,” he said.
“Ah, I believe I have some back here. Just give me a minute.” Ed disappeared behind a shelving unit.
Flint turned to look around, wanting to make sure nobody was there to see or hear what he was getting. After Madison’s confession the night before there was absolutely no way he wanted anyone to be able to connect her to him. He now knew the reason for her fear and it was vital she remain a secret at his cabin and thankfully, he knew Ed didn’t gossip.
“Here we are,” Ed said as he returned with a large bottle of the vitamins. “Do you want to pay for these back here?”
“That would be great. Thanks, Ed.”
“I’ll add in the cost of your prescription, too.” He told Flint the cost and minutes later Flint left the pharmacy. He tossed his own prescription into his glove box and left the poison ivy cream and the vitamins in a bag on his passenger seat. It was crazy; he now had a prescription he didn’t want to think about and a bottle of poison ivy medicine he didn’t need, but at least he had gotten Madison’s vitamins.
As he headed back to the ranch his thoughts once again returned to Madison and what she’d told him the night before. Somehow, he had to make her trust him enough to give him the name of the man who had assaulted her.
Whoever he was, he needed to be brought to justice. He was a violent predator and it was quite possible he was preying on other vulnerable women in town. Besides, he needed to be put into jail for what he did to Madison. His fingers tightened around the steering wheel with anger. The man needed to burn in hell for what he had done to Madison.
He pulled into the ranch and parked his truck in the shed, and then headed for the dining room where he knew the other cowboys were probably close to finishing up their lunch.
When he got there he grabbed a plate and filled it even as Cookie was starting to clear off the buffet. “Where have you been?” Mac asked him as he sat next to him at one of the tables.
“I had a few errands to run in town,” Flint replied.
Mac eyed him long and hard. “What’s going on with you?”
“What do you mean?” Flint realized most of the other men had finished up and left the dining room. Mac’s plate was empty but it was obvious he wasn’t going anywhere until he got
some answers from Flint.
“You know what I mean. You disappear during the days at odd times and you’ve even stopped eating dinner here with all of us. We never see you in the evenings anymore. I thought the cabin was just a weekend getaway and someplace you would retire to when that time came. So if that’s the case then why are you spending so much time there now?”
Flint stared down at the sandwich on his plate and then looked back at his friend. “I’m seriously considering quitting my job here.”
Mac’s eyebrows rose as he looked at Flint in stunned surprise. “Now? Why?”
“I’m just ready for a change.” Flint hated lying to his good friend, but he didn’t want anyone to know the real reason he had to quit. He didn’t want to see the pity that might appear in their eyes.
“But what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know yet,” Flint replied. “I just know my time here is coming to an end.”
“So the cabin is going to be your new home soon?”
Flint nodded. “It’s got everything I need.”
“I’ll be honest. I’m glad for you if this is really what you want, but everyone on the ranch is going to miss you,” Mac said. “I’m going to miss you.”
Flint smiled despite knowing how difficult it was going to be for him to tell everyone goodbye. “It isn’t like I’m dying or moving a thousand miles away. We’ll still see each other around town and anytime you want to take me to dinner at the café, as long as you’re paying I’ll be there.” Flint wanted to put a lighter tone to the conversation.
Mac laughed. “Yeah, I know that’s right and you’d probably ask for the most expensive item on the menu.”
Flint grinned at him. “Yeah, I probably would.”
“On that note I guess I’d better shut up and let you eat your lunch.” Mac stood. “So how much longer will you be here?”
Cowboy's Vow to Protect Page 7