He would never again hold her in his arms. He would never taste the sweetness of her lips. He was already mourning her being gone from his life.
There would be no more laughter between them. He would never see the charming little wrinkle that danced across her forehead when she was deep in thought.
There were so many things he was going to miss when she left. He would miss the sound of her humming or singing, how her very presence filled the cabin with a warm energy. God, he hated the coming of tomorrow.
He finally drifted off asleep and awakened to sunshine whispering through the curtains. Madison was on the other side of the bed and was still sound asleep. He rolled out of bed and to his feet, grateful that his movements didn’t awaken her.
He grabbed his jeans from the nearby chair and then padded into the bathroom. After a quick shower he went into the kitchen, made himself a cup of coffee and then sat at the table.
It was still early and he expected Madison to sleep for several more hours and he would use that time to prepare himself to tell her goodbye.
When it got late enough he’d call Larry Wright at the car dealership and would see if somebody could bring Madison’s car here. That way when she left here she’d have her car, and her trailer and a new life.
She’d be fine without him, and eventually...hopefully he’d be fine without her. He’d never expected to love her. When he’d found her in the hay and had offered her the cabin, he’d never dreamed that she would manage to get so deeply into his heart.
These feelings he had for her...he’d never experienced them before. He’d never had a woman share so much of herself with him, and he had certainly never before, with any other woman, shared himself like he had with Madison.
God, he wanted her. He wanted her in his life forever. He wished he could spend the rest of his life with her by his side. He ached with the desire to sleep with her every night, and build dreams with her during the days.
He wanted to help her raise her baby. He’d never dreamed he’d want to have his own family, and yet that was what Madison offered him and he hadn’t known how badly he wanted it until now...when it was finally time to tell her goodbye.
He now dreaded her waking up. He knew he was going to hurt her, but it had to be done. He had to love her enough to let her go.
By the time he finished his first cup of coffee it was late enough to call Larry. The arrangements were made to get Madison’s car to the cabin around ten-thirty. He made himself another cup of coffee and then moved to the sofa and turned on the television with the volume soft enough it wouldn’t bother Madison.
He imagined when the local news came on at noon Brad would be part of that report and the whole town would finally know what he had done not only to Madison, but potentially to other women, as well.
It would be a huge shock to many of the people in town who admired and liked Brad, people who hadn’t known just how evil and sick he was. Everyone had just assumed he had a golden future ahead of him. Well, now he could have his future in prison.
Madison would be able to hold her head up high and he imagined going forward she would get lots of sympathy and support.
Now, all he had to do was wait for her to get up, and then he would tell her goodbye.
* * *
Madison awoke and slowly stretched beneath the sheet. She had slept without dreams and now felt completely rested. She opened her eyes to the sunshine drifting through the window. What time was it?
She rolled over and looked at the clock on the nightstand. Almost eleven. She knew it was late, but she hadn’t realized it was that late.
Before she could pull herself out of bed the events of the night played in her head. Brad trying to attack her and almost succeeding. She’d known his intention had been to rape and kill her. But in the end she had won. And now she was free.
Free.
Her heart swelled in her chest. He could never, ever hurt her again. She could go about her life and never have to even think about Brad Ainsworth again.
And she wanted her life to be here with Flint. She’d known for some time that he was her dream man and now with the danger finally gone, they could enjoy a new life together.
With this thought in her mind, she got up and got dressed. Even her dresses were getting tight around her belly. But now she could go shopping for some maternity clothes.
She could go out to lunch with a friend without being afraid. She might be able to get her job back and work until she delivered the baby. She could do whatever she wanted and know Brad was gone forever.
Happiness raced through her as she left the bedroom and found Flint seated at the kitchen table. “Good morning,” she said. “I can’t believe I slept so late.” She went to the cabinet to get a cup for her tea.
“You deserved it. It was a long night.”
She made her drink and then sat across from him. “How are you feeling?” he asked.
She smiled. “Wonderful. How about you? Did you get enough sleep?”
“I got enough.” He looked down into his coffee cup and then gazed at her once again. “I had your car fixed and it’s now outside ready for you to go back to your trailer.”
She looked at him in surprise. “But...but... I haven’t earned enough money to fix the car. I still need to work for you to earn more money.”
“Madison, you’ll need the car when you leave here. Consider it a gift from me. Just say thank you and we’ll call it even.”
She continued to gaze at him. “I don’t want to.”
“Just say thank you,” he repeated.
“Thank you.”
It was just another act of kindness that dug him deeper into her heart. Now, with the danger of Brad gone, she felt free and eager to claim that love.
And suddenly she needed to tell Flint exactly how she felt about him. Her love for him filled her so much and she now needed to express it to him.
“You said I’ll need the car when I leave here, but what if I don’t want to leave here?” She reached across the table and captured one of his hands with her. “What if I want to stay here forever?”
He winced and pulled his hand away from hers. “Madison, the danger is over and so it’s time for you to go back to your life.”
“But I want my life to be with you. Flint, I’m in love with you. I can’t imagine ever loving a man like I do you.”
Her heart trembled as she waited for his reply.
She’d hoped his eyes would light up at her words, that he’d laugh with joy and pull her up and into his arms. But that didn’t happen.
Pain, rather than joy, pulled his features taut. “Madison, it’s only natural that you’d think you were in love with me. After everything you’ve been through I’m sure with a little time you’ll realize you’ve mistaken love for gratefulness.”
“Flint, I am grateful to you for everything you’ve done for me, but that is completely separate from the love I have in my heart for you.”
He drew an audible breath and released it slowly. He held her gaze for only a moment and then looked down at the table. “I’m sorry, Madison, but I don’t love you.”
“You’re lying,” she whispered.
“It’s the truth. I’m sorry, Madison.”
This time her heart trembled with an entirely different emotion. Why was he denying the love she knew he had for her? “I know you love me, Flint. A woman knows when a man loves her. Why are you lying to me?”
“I’m not.” He got up from the table and moved into the living room, but she was right on his heels.
“Flint, please tell me what’s going on right now.” She’d had a hundred fears leading up to last night. She’d believed it was possible Brad would rape her again, that he would kill her. She’d thought she would never be believed in her allegations against him, but she’d never, ever imagined that Flint would deny her hi
s love.
He sat on the sofa and stared out the window. She sank down next to him, tears welling up inside her and burning at her eyes. “Flint...please talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. I told you that this was a place just for me, that I had no intention of living...of loving anyone.”
“You told me that before you really knew me, before we made love and lived and laughed together.” The tears that had threatened now blurred her vision and spilled onto her cheeks. She swiped at them as she continued to stare at the man she loved.
“I love you, Flint, and I want to be with you forever. I want you to be the father of this baby and all of us to live together.” Tears half choked her as she couldn’t believe this was happening.
“Madison, please don’t make this more difficult than it is. You got through the danger and now it’s time you make your own way. I hope you eventually find the man who is right for you and can give you all your dreams.”
He finally looked at her. His eyes were dark and shuttered against her. “You are that man, Flint,” she said softly. “You are the man of my dreams, the wonderful cowboy I want by my side for the rest of my life.”
“I can’t be your cowboy,” he exploded and jumped to his feet. “I can’t be anybody’s cowboy. I don’t know what I’m going to be.”
She frowned up at him. “What are you talking about?”
He raked a hand through his hair and stared at her for a long moment. “I’ve got rheumatoid arthritis, Madison. I can’t be your dream man. I’m damaged goods.”
“You aren’t damaged.” She slowly got to her feet. “Does this have something to do with the pills your doctor mentioned?”
He gave her a curt nod. “It’s a drug to slow the progression.”
“And are you taking it?”
He hesitated. “I haven’t started it yet.”
“Why not? And does rheumatoid arthritis stop you from loving me?” She took a step closer to him. “How about you start taking the medicine and we’ll face whatever comes together?”
He closed his eyes for a long moment and then gazed at her. “Don’t you get it, Madison? I’m not going to spend my days riding the range or roping cattle. I’m not going to be a cowboy anymore.”
“Oh, Flint. You couldn’t stop being a cowboy if you wanted. A cowboy is someone who protects the weak. He’s respectful and kind and honest. He values his friends and those he loves. You are forever a cowboy, Flint, and it doesn’t matter what hat you wear or if you never climb on the back of a horse again. You are my forever cowboy, Flint. All you have to do is open up your heart and know that we belong together.”
His eyes filled with tears. “I don’t know what my future holds.”
“Neither do I, but we’ll be strong together. Oh, Flint...just love me.”
“I do,” he choked. He held up his arms toward her and she ran into his embrace.
“I love you, Madison, and I already love the baby.” His lips took hers in a kiss that stole her breath away and filled her head with thoughts of lust-filled nights and days of laughter.
“I want you here with me for all my days and all of my nights,” he said when the kiss finally ended. His eyes shone that wonderful green that invited her into the depths of his heart.
And that was exactly where she wanted to be.
Epilogue
The past four days had been a whirlwind of activity as Madison moved things from her trailer to the cabin. Flint’s bookshelf now held an array of romance novels and she had an entire drawer in the bathroom dedicated to her makeup and personal items.
Female touches made the space look and feel more like home and he hadn’t even minded when she’d taken over the spare room closet and then had encroached on his in the master bedroom.
There were moments when he needed to pinch himself to believe that this was all real, that she knew all his flaws and still wanted to be with him. And there were moments when he’d catch her gaze on him and see her love for him shining in those beautiful blue depths and it would steal his breath away.
They had shared a discussion about how to transform the second bedroom into a nursery and she’d made an appointment for next week to meet with Ellie Miller, a local psychologist who hopefully would be able to help Madison with the trauma she’d suffered at Brad’s hands.
The plan at the moment was when she was ready to leave, they were heading into town to buy her some maternity clothes and then later they would go out to dinner at the café.
It would be the first time they’d been out socially since Brad’s arrest, and he suspected this would be a much different experience than what they had shared at the café before.
She came out of the bedroom clad in a pink flowered dress and with her hair falling soft and shiny beneath her shoulders. She placed her hands on her stomach. “It’s a good thing I’m buying some new maternity clothes today. Everything is getting too tight on me.”
“You still look beautiful,” Flint said, earning him her warm smile.
“Let’s get out of here before your sweet talk seduces me right into your bed.”
He laughed and together they left the cabin. Two hours later they got back into his truck to head to the café. She was now clad in a pair of maternity jeans and a royal blue blouse that was nice and roomy. In the backseat there were half a dozen bags of other clothes she would need to finish out her pregnancy.
“Are you hungry?” he asked as he pulled into a parking space near the café.
“Starving,” she replied. “What about you?”
“I’m hungry.” He cut the engine and then got out of the truck and went around to the passenger door where she had gotten out, as well.
He immediately pulled her against his side and threw his arm around her shoulder. “You don’t have to do that anymore,” she said.
“Do what?”
“Hold me so close to protect me.”
He grinned at her. “Darlin’, I’m holding you close because I want to, because I love you.”
She snuggled against him. “I like that about you.”
They entered the busy café. Just like last time, an abrupt silence fell over the other diners. Flint’s heart sank and Madison’s chin shot up defensively.
And then somebody clapped. And that clap was followed by another...and another. As the two of them moved toward an empty booth, men got to their feet and women shouted words of encouragement and support.
Flint’s heart swelled. This was the Bitterroot he knew, a place filled with good people who supported each other and formed a bond of community that couldn’t be broken.
Happy tears raced down Madison’s face. When they sat down, the clapping finally stopped. She took her napkin and wiped away her tears. “Wow, I didn’t expect that.”
“You deserve it,” Flint replied. “You took a monster off the streets all by yourself.”
Waitress Jayme Lathrop greeted them with a bright smile and then her smile faltered. “Madison, I just want to thank you for what you did.” Her brown eyes gazed at Madison intently.
“Were you the one who left a note for me?” Madison asked softly.
Jayme nodded. Madison immediately got up and pulled the young woman into her embrace. Flint had never loved Madison more as he watched her comfort a fellow victim of Brad’s.
She whispered into Jayme’s ear and then the two released each other and Madison scooted back into the seat. “Now, what can I get you two this evening?” Jayme smiled at them once again.
“What did you say to her?” Flint asked curiously when Jayme had left their booth.
“I told her if she ever needed to talk to somebody, I’m here for her. I also reminded her that she is a beautiful and strong woman, a survivor who has the right to hold her head up high.”
“Do you have any idea how much I love you?” he asked.
“If it’s half as much as I love you, then it’s enough for me,” she replied. Her beautiful eyes sparkled with warmth and love.
This woman had given him an optimistic view of his life going forward. She intended to talk to the doctor to learn everything she could about his condition, a condition he now knew he could manage. He intended to talk to Cassie about quitting the ranch in the next week or so.
Eventually, he’d figure out what job he wanted to work and he’d continue to support his family. Madison had brought sunshine into what had become a dark place in his soul.
“I love you so much and even though I don’t have a ring or anything right now, I want to propose to you,” he said.
“So is that an official marriage proposal?” she asked teasingly.
“It is. I want to marry you, Madison. I want to marry you as soon as I can and have you by my side forever. I love you with all my heart.”
She gazed at him for a long moment and in that space of time Flint’s heart dipped. Had she changed her mind about him? Did she not want to marry him?
“Really?” she finally said. “You’re going to propose to me in the middle of a noisy café without getting down on one knee and making it a little more official?”
Flint immediately slid out of the booth and dropped to one knee. “Madison Taylor...will you marry me?”
“Yes,” she replied. She also got out of the booth and took his hands in hers. “Yes, yes, Flint. I’ll marry you.”
He got up and grabbed her into his arms and as he kissed her people hooted and hollered their approval. When the kiss ended she gazed up at him, her face glowing with happiness. “You’re my forever cowboy, Flint, and I’ll love you through eternity.”
He kissed her once again, his heart filled with joy. This woman was his future, and the baby she carried was his in love. His cabin in the woods was now truly an enchanted place where love would live forever.
* * *
Don’t forget previous titles in the
Cowboys of Holiday Ranch series:
Cowboy Defender
Cowboy's Vow to Protect Page 19