by Lara Hunter
“No, Rose,” I said, holding up a hand. “To all of it. I’m not going to do this. Not to myself, and not to him. It’s not right. I’m not okay with it. I’ve decided, and I’m not changing my mind.”
Her expression darkened.
“Alice, what has gotten into you? I thought we’d already settled all of this. He—he screwed us, and he’s going to get what he deserves.”
“No,” I said. “There’s more to it than you know. What he did… It was wrong. But the circumstances… They were messed up. He’d just lost his father, and he didn’t know how to deal with it, and he made a bunch of bad choices. I don’t want to make a bad choice here, Rose. I’m not going to do this. I’m going to finish this job, and then I’m going to move on.”
Her mouth twisted into a smirk.
“It’s the money, isn’t it?” she said. “The clothes? The apartment and the car? All your fancy parties? You’re not one of them, Alice, and being his— his bitch isn’t going to make you one of them!”
“Rose!” I gasped.
“You’re not better than me, Alice!” Her voice grew louder; people were beginning to turn and look at us. “None of this is real. You got to go play dress up, go dancing with your dark prince, and you’ve forgotten who you really are. Harvey Pace hasn’t even known you for two months, and you’re all ready to choose him over the family that has loved you your whole life.”
“My family?” I said in an angry whisper, shaking my head. “Do you really think mom and dad would want us to do this? Could you really see them being so nasty about it?”
She looked away and said nothing.
“I’m done with this,” I said. Tears threatened, but I held them back. “I’m walking out of here, and I’m going to go do my job, and I’m going to still be able to look myself in the mirror when it’s finished. I’m sorry I hurt you, and I’m sorry you’re angry, but you’re wrong about this, Rose. You’re wrong about him.”
She shook her head, her mouth working at words that didn’t come out. Finally, she grabbed her jacket and purse and rushed out of the restaurant, leaving me alone at the table.
~ ~ ~
It was a week before I heard from Harvey again. He sent me a message saying that there was a chamber of commerce luncheon happening in a few days. He gave me the day and time, and said nothing else.
I wasn’t surprised that he was taking some distance. The way I’d seen him the week before, drunk and grieving, was completely uncharacteristic for him. I’d come to understand that control was more than just a habit for Harvey; it was what he held onto to feel safe in a world that had shown itself to be unpredictable in the worst way.
What did surprise me was how much I missed him. I’d been tempted to text him, but I decided to wait, let him decide when he was ready to reach out again. Since that day in his home with him, and since I’d decided not to expose his plan to the world, the little flame of affection I’d felt for Harvey had grown. Perhaps this was because my guilt was no longer compelling me to hold it back, or perhaps it was because I knew now that, just maybe, he could feel the same way about me.
It was all so far from certain. I knew that he might very well pretend that nothing had happened when he next saw me. I knew that he would very likely sober up, look in the mirror, and remember who he was, and who I was. Rose had been right about one thing – under all this borrowed jewelry and these borrowed clothes, I was still someone who simply did not fit into the world of Harvey Pace. Despite all my questionable decisions of the past weeks, I was neither a fool nor a child who still believed in fairy tales. When this story ended, I knew that I would go back to my little corner of the world, and he would stay in his.
Maybe this experience would wake him up. Maybe he would reach out, start earnestly looking for a woman to love. She probably wouldn’t be all too different from the fictional Alice Clarke. She’d have real money and status, and refinement that she didn’t have to be coached on. I felt a bitter stab of jealousy at the thought.
When the day of the chamber of commerce luncheon arrived, I took extra time getting ready. I knew that there wouldn’t be many more of these days left for Harvey and me, and, even if it was just pretend, I intended to enjoy them. I smoothed my hair into pretty waves and applied my makeup. Because it was a business event, I chose a butter yellow skirt suit over an ivory silk blouse. I put on pantyhose and ivory heels, and finished the look with pearl earrings and a pearl pendant on a gold chain. I put just a touch of perfume at my ears and wrists.
When Harvey knocked on the door, I felt a rush of nerves that reminded me of the first “dates” we’d had together. I shook the feeling off, determined to relax. He may never be my lover, but at least he was no longer my enemy. For a little while, maybe we could even manage to be friends.
I opened the door and let him in. The expression on his face was so unusual that it took me a moment to understand that Harvey was actually nervous. Then, just like that, it was gone, smoothed into a relaxed smile.
“You look lovely today, Alice,” he said.
“Thank you,” I said, with my accent. He inclined his head in acknowledgement, a touch of sadness in his expression.
It made me sad, too, but it was okay. I was still glad to see him. We rode the elevator downstairs. When we got to the street, the car wasn’t waiting.
“I came by a bit early today,” he said. “I thought we could walk and talk a bit, before we go to the event.”
“Alright,” I said. “I would like that.”
For a few minutes, we walked down the street in silence. He didn’t try to hold my hand. At the end of my block, there was a little park. I often came down here to read or draw; there were always people here with their dogs, or parents with their children. It was a peaceful place, a haven of green grass and shady trees in the middle of the city’s forest of concrete and steel. Harvey led me into the park, down a side path, to a bench in a more secluded corner. I sat down, and he sat beside me.
For a long moment, he didn’t speak. I watched his face; it seemed that he was concentrating on something, or deciding on something.
“This is most unusual for me,” he said at last. “Having a problem I do not know how to solve.”
“What problem, Harvey?” I asked.
“You, Alice,” he said.
The sound of his voice saying my name made me tremble. I clasped my hands together in my lap and tried to look calm.
He went on.
“I… I know I’ve been a fool, in so many ways. And now, I think that life may be having some fun with me, to pay me back, you know. I thought I would live the rest of my life alone, and I thought I could be content with that. And then, Mick brought you to me, and now…”
He shook his head.
“See?” he said. “This is why it’s such a problem. This is why you never date an employee, Alice. It isn’t fair. The position I’m in, the position you’re in, it makes it so that you can’t honestly answer me. And I cannot even ask the question if I can’t be sure you’ll tell me what’s really in your heart.” He looked at me, his eyes pleading for me to understand. “Do you see, Alice?”
“Yes,” I said. “I think so.”
“So, what do we do about this?” he asked. “I… just cannot accept that this is impossible. I’m a fool, but not so much of a fool as to pretend that you aren’t a very unusual woman, Alice. I don’t think I’ll ever meet another person like you.”
I could hardly believe what I was hearing, the things Harvey was saying to me, in the sober light of day. Perhaps just as unbelievable was the fact that he was asking me what to do about this. I used to think that Harvey always knew what to do.
I took a deep breath, looked back down the path we’d come in from. A girl a few years younger than me was stretched out on the grass, reading a book. A little further past her, an elderly couple walked together, arm in arm.
“I love this place,” I said. “It’s one of my favorite things about living here. I think that,
even after this job is over, I still might come here sometimes.”
“Alice…” he began, not understanding.
“My birthday is a little over a month from now,” I said. “I think that this thing we’re doing will be finished by then, don’t you?”
He hesitated, then nodded.
“Yes,” he said. “The Laytons’ lawyers have already contacted Jenson Pace. Details are still being negotiated, but I expect the papers will be signed, maybe not by the anniversary event, but not long after. Our… your employment with me will be finished then.”
I wondered briefly how we’d play it publicly. To keep faith with the Laytons and others he’d deceived, it would probably have to be me who ended it. Poor, love-struck Harvey, abandoned by the woman he’d loved. No one could blame him for that; if anything, they’d love him more. Every woman in the state would be lining up to comfort him.
“You’re right, Harvey,” I said at last. “We’re not in a situation where we can know what we both really want, or what we should do. The time I’ve spent on this job, it’s been unlike anything else I’ve ever done before. Sometimes I feel like my life before this was a dream. I get lost in this world of yours. And it’s a strange thing for you to be doing, too. It gets into your head, I know. Feelings can get confused.”
“Alice, I’m not confused,” he said quietly.
“You don’t think so right now,” I said. “But… When I’m gone, your life is going to change. What you want… might not be what you think you want now.”
He shook his head, but said nothing.
“I just think we both need some time, to think, to decide if this is really something we want to try. If, when this is all over, it’s something that we both still want, then we should come back here, say, on my birthday, at noon. And if we’re both here, then, we can see what happens. And if we’re not… Well, then at least we both know.”
He reached for my hand then and squeezed it tightly. I met his eyes and saw determination there, and hope.
“I’ll be here, Alice,” he said.
My heart leapt, but I kept my smile careful.
“We’ll see,” I said.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“Just a few more minutes under the dryer, Miss Clarke.” A pretty blonde girl, one of the assistants at Astra’s salon, smiled brightly as she handed me a steaming latté. I took it from her gratefully, yawning.
Susan had gotten me out of the house at dawn, a full day of beauty treatments scheduled in preparation for Jenson Pace’s twenty-fifth anniversary gala. It seemed like a waste to go to all this trouble for what was likely to be my last public event with Harvey, but she insisted. So, at this ungodly early hour, Astra had already painted the roots of my hair, wrapped it in foils, and put me under the dryer. Cutting and styling would come next, then nails, waxing, makeup…
There had better be more coffee, I thought.
Truthfully, I didn’t mind the routine so much today. In spite of myself, I’d come to honestly like Astra, and even Susan. Since this would likely be our last day together, I was going to try to enjoy it if I could.
Hours of styling and a light lunch later, as I sat in Astra’s makeup chair trying not to blink against the mascara brush she was wielding, Susan came by to check on us. For a change, she would be attending the event with Harvey and me tonight, and her hair and makeup was already done.
“You look wonderful, Susan,” I said. She smiled and waved off the compliment.
“No one will be looking at me tonight, dear Alice, not if I’ve done my job. Yes, Astra, don’t hold back. Go dramatic,” she said. “It’s not a night for subtlety. This is Harvey’s triumph, and everyone is going to know it, even if we can’t announce the sale just yet.”
Harvey had been disappointed that the sale of Layton Steel couldn’t be finalized before the gala, but word had already gotten out that Jenson Pace would be the buyer. Papers for the sale would be signed within the week. And then, of course, my part in all this would be done.
“What’s that look for, Alice?” Susan said, seeing me frown. “It’s a happy day! Happy happy!”
I gave her an exaggerated, toothy smile. She laughed.
“I’m gonna miss you,” she said.
“Hmm?” Astra said. “Where are you going?”
Susan realized her slip and covered quickly.
“I have to travel out of state for a few weeks, that’s all,” she said, waving a hand dismissively. “High maintenance client needs some quality time; you know how it is.”
When Astra’s back was turned, I gave Susan a look of mock disapproval. She shook her head and rolled her eyes at me.
“You still have nails yet to go,” she said, looking at her watch. “I’m gonna take off. I’ll send the car for you in about an hour and a half. I have a couple of things to pick up for later.”
“Alright,” I said. “See you in a bit.”
Two hours later, the car Susan had sent dropped me off in front of my building. I took the elevator up to my apartment and let myself in, careful not to chip my freshly-manicured nails.
My dress for the event was hanging in my closet. It was a one-shouldered, sapphire blue gown covered with glittering crystals. It left much of my back bare, and clung closely to the curves of my body from my shoulder to my hips, flaring out just above my knees. Walking in it was a bit of a feat, but I had to admit that it was stunning. Susan had wanted to make my final appearance memorable, and I believed that she would succeed.
I glanced at my kitchen clock. I had a few minutes before Susan was going to come by with my jewelry for the evening. I noticed my pre-Harvey cell phone sitting on the kitchen counter. The message alert light was blinking on it. I picked it up and opened the message. It was from Rose.
“You can still make this right. Call me.”
I frowned. She hadn’t tried to contact me since our last meeting in the café. I knew there was a chance that she’d never forgive me for rejecting her plan, but I had hoped some time would let her reconsider. Rather than changing her mind, though, she was still trying to change mine. I turned off the phone and stuck it in a kitchen drawer.
Susan arrived a little later, holding up a garment bag over her head.
“I’ll change into my dress after we get you all ready,” she said, laying the bag over the back of an armchair.
I went into the bedroom and got dressed in my underthings, what little I would be able to wear under the revealing gown. Susan held the gown while I stepped into it, then zipped up the side.
“Nervous?” she asked, as she held out an impossibly high-heeled shoe for me.
“Actually, I’m not,” I said, stepping into the shoe. I took a few practice steps in the shoes, and found that I was able to balance without too much trouble. I’d gotten a lot of practice in shoes like these over the last two months.
“You and Harvey, you’ve gotten pretty… comfortable with each other, haven’t you?” she asked, watching me with shrewd eyes.
I shrugged and turned away, hiding my expression.
“We spend a lot of time together,” I said. “You know, just part of the job.”
Her mouth quirked into a skeptical smile.
“Uh huh,” she said, shaking her head. She looked down at her watch. “Shoot! Is it six already? I need to get changed. Let’s get your jewelry on.”
She took a tiny paper shopping bag out of her purse; the name of a local jeweler was imprinted on the side of the bag.
“Now, these are just loaners,” she said. “I’ll return them to the jeweler after the event.”
“Wow,” I breathed, watching in the mirror as she fastened a glittering diamond choker around my neck.
“Yup,” she said. “Wow is right. Be careful with these. They cost enough that even Harvey will notice the expense if they get lost.”
“I will,” I said. She handed me a pair of matching earrings, and I fastened them on my ears.
“Now, let me have a look at you,” Susan said. I t
urned to face her, and she beamed with satisfaction. “Damn, but I am good at my job,” she said. She took her garment bag back to the guest room to change, leaving me alone in the living room.
A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door. I opened the door and let Harvey in.
No matter how many times I saw him in a tuxedo, I was still stunned by how gorgeous he looked.
“Hello, handsome,” I said.
He held up at finger, stopping me – wait. He just looked at me for a long moment, his eyes traveling up and down me as I turned deepening shades of red. He slowly shook his head.
“You can’t be real,” he said at last. “This kind of beauty just isn’t possible.”
I felt my face flush.
“You’re welcome,” Susan said from behind me. She came into the living room, fastening her earrings as she walked. She wore a sleeveless gown with a black wrap top and full silver chiffon skirt.
“You look lovely as well, Susan,” Harvey said, embracing her and kissing her cheek.