by Zara Cox
Her face closed. ‘You said you weren’t the same person you were three years ago but in some ways you haven’t changed at all.’
‘Because I haven’t suddenly developed a huge fondness for my dysfunctional family?’
‘Because from the sounds of it you’re still pushing everyone away.’
‘Thin ice, rosebud,’ I warned.
She ignored me. ‘They don’t reach out to you so you don’t reach out either?’ She shook her head. ‘Do you know how nuts that is? To have people you know are in the same situation as you and actively ignore them? To choose to remain alone?’
‘Are we talking about me or you right now?’
I hadn’t twigged onto the isolation she’d felt within her family until she’d flippantly informed me, after I’d asked what her parents thought of Dan, that she hadn’t spoken to them in months. That they weren’t coming to her wedding. When she’d insisted she didn’t want to talk about it, I’d left it, the subject of family one I was deathly allergic to. But some part of me had experienced a sting of guilt for believing everything was fine all those years before.
For not seeing the real truth. But then, hadn’t that been our way? Believing one thing only to discover it was an illusion?
She gave that same flippant hand gesture that didn’t quite ring true. ‘My situation is different.’
‘Is it?’
‘Yes. Stop deflecting.’
‘Maybe we should’ve gone for a pizza after all,’ I said, in no way welcoming the determined gleam in her eyes.
‘Graciela called me when she was in New York last month,’ she said abruptly. ‘She told me about your lunch. She also told me you couldn’t wait to be done. She even thinks you had your EA call with a fake business problem.’
‘What the hell are you talking about?’ I silently cursed the heat creeping up my neck, thankful our space was dark enough to disguise my guilt.
‘Was it true?’
Only partially. The business call hadn’t been fake, but I’d used it to shorten the lunch. Graciela liked to play the why game every time we met.
Why are we so screwed up?
Why did our parents leave us?
Why aren’t we all in therapy about it?
Frankly, I resented her a little for not burying her head in the sand like the rest of us. ‘Would you believe me if I said no?’
Savvie hesitated a moment too long.
Bile teased the back of my throat. ‘Why are we talking about this?’
‘She was a little upset. When I told her I was coming here, she asked me to talk to you.’
The sensation congealed further. ‘How long have you been waiting to drop this on me?’
‘I’m not dropping anything on you, Bryce. I’m just passing on a message. Your sister misses you. Whether you ever had a connection or not, she’s reaching out to you. Are you going to leave her hanging?’
I gritted my teeth until my jaw protested. ‘How the hell can you ask me that? You know.’
She shook her head. ‘No, I don’t know. I surmised that your parents were worse than useless. But you never actually talked about them. Except that they were dead. And that the rest of your family was the worst of the worst. But don’t you think you’ve hung onto that excuse for long enough?’
‘You have no idea what you’re talking about.’
Limpid golden brown eyes stared at me for several seconds, seeing goodness knew what. Making my stomach churn. Then she shrugged. ‘Maybe not. All said and done, I guess I’m not an authority on family myself, right?’
I remained silent, fuming that she’d dragged up subjects I wanted to remain buried.
‘I’m still starving. Can I order another starter?’
And just like that she’d moved on. Except that faint gleam of reproof lingered in her eyes, raking over my irritation. Who the hell was she to throw this in my face?
She’s the girl who always made things make sense when your crazy family threatened your sanity. She saved you more times than you could count.
But then she lied and broke her promise.
I sat back, my gaze on her face. What the hell was her angle?
‘Bryce?’
‘You know you don’t need my permission to order what you want.’
‘True, I don’t need your permission but I’m trying to make nice again. Obviously, I’m wasting my time.’ She raised her hand, got the waiter’s attention and ordered a small platter of oysters. When it came she devoured the first one, then, with a furtive glance at me, she drizzled chilli oil on the next one, just the way I liked it, picked it up and held it to my lips. ‘Go on, take it. You know you want to,’ she whispered, that hint of a dare back in her voice.
It reminded me of my Truth or Dare plan back in the car before the conversation had taken a left turn into crazy town.
I leaned forward and gripped her delicate wrist in one hand. Ignoring her sharp intake of breath, I opened my mouth and took the offered morsel, making sure to wrap my lips around her fingers too. She shifted in her seat, tried to pull back. I tightened my grip, rolling my tongue over the pads of her fingers.
‘Bryce...’
Only when I was satisfied that the only thing on her mind was sex, did I release her.
‘It’s my turn to play the game, I believe?’
She blinked a few times but the haze didn’t completely leave her eyes. ‘Umm...’
‘So, rosebud, truth or dare?’
Her elegant throat moved in a delicate swallow. ‘Truth. Always.’
I wanted to disagree. She hadn’t always been truthful. Hell, she’d downright lied when she’d made a promise she knew she wouldn’t keep.
But I’d had enough heavy talk for one day. ‘Very well. Tell me one thing you haven’t done yet in the bedroom department.’
Her eyes flared wide and she blinked. ‘What?’
I shrugged. ‘You started us on this path in my apartment. I’m taking my cue from you. So...let’s have it. Something you’ve been secretly dying to try. Something you never did with him.’
Her breath shuddered out. I wanted to lean in, rob her of the next one. ‘I thought we weren’t going to talk about him?’
‘We’re not. We’re talking about you. Your wants. Your needs. Your dirty little exclusive secret.’
Her gaze dropped to the tablecloth and she fidgeted some more. After drawing meaningless patterns on the heavy damask, she glanced around, cleared her throat. Still she hesitated.
I drummed my fingers on the table, impatience devouring me.
‘Fine. I’ve never tried the...back door.’
I stopped myself from barking out a laugh. ‘The back door?’
She glared at me. ‘You know...anal sex,’ she whispered. ‘I’ve... I’ve always wondered what it’d feel like.’ She stopped. Blushed.
My already hard dick turned to stone and my vision blurred for a moment. I swallowed the lump of screaming lust in my throat.
‘That’s very good to know. So now we come to the dare part.’
‘Do we have to do this right now?’
‘Oh, yes. Twice now you’ve pushed me to the brink, rosebud. It’s only fair that you let me play, don’t you agree?’
‘I guess...’
I leaned forward until our faces were inches apart. Until I saw the deep desire emblazoned on her face, knew that she was right there on that delicious, decadent precipice with me. Then I went for the kill.
‘In that case, I dare you, petal, to let me fuck you in the arse, let me show you exactly what you’ve been missing.’
CHAPTER FOUR
Savvie
THE STARK HUNGER on his face was like a live wire attached to every erogenous zone on my body. I couldn’t look away. Couldn’t stop my feverish trembling. Couldn’t do anything but snatch inadequate breath
s as my imagination went into full 3D CGI mode.
Bryce wanted to give me that one fantasy I’d never been bold enough to voice to anyone, not even my now ex-husband. Maybe him especially, because deep down I knew he’d ruin the experience.
Three thoughts freewheeled through my mind as another raw shiver flashed through my body.
The first was that we’d jumped a few steps in this friendship and sex journey I’d prayed would get us back on, if not the friendship we once had, then at least an even keel. Which was somewhat already skewed considering we hadn’t kissed and yet he’d given me two screaming orgasms with his mouth.
The second was that he was yanking my chain, paying me back for being the unfortunate messenger to deliver the message from his sister.
The third was all about screaming yes to his dirty proposition whether he even meant it or not. The subject of anal sex hadn’t crossed my mind even once in that final year of marriage to Dan. But one half-hour of cunnilingus with Bryce and I was dreaming of the multiple ways he could pleasure me. And yes, at some point during the restless afternoon and night that had ensued after leaving his apartment ten days ago, my mind had swung to that part of my anatomy, my wicked curiosity awakened.
I sipped my wine, gauging his face for signs that he was messing with me. All I saw was a hard reflection of the arousal pounding through me.
This was what I wanted, wasn’t it? What I’d hoped for when I’d called persistently all day today. Another chance to explore this thing between Bryce and me? To find a different kind of common ground since platonic friendship was no longer on the table?
Bryce understood sex.
Hell, he was a master of the carnal if all the girls I’d been forced to listen to during our time at school and then at uni were to be believed. Every single one of them had lauded his superior talents between the sheets. At first, I’d rolled my eyes, certain they were exaggerating. But then my own hormones had joined the party and I’d learned the hard way that even a mere brush of Bryce’s fingers over my arm, or my cheek, or my hip, could make my nipples hard for hours. That one throwaway comment in his deep voice or a smouldering look from brooding hazel eyes could leave my panties damp.
Well, here was my chance. Still, I hesitated. Licked a drop of wine from my lips.
He lounged back a little, sleek muscles rippling under his shirt. ‘Cat got your tongue, rosebud?’
Rosebud.
A flippant little term of endearment I’d desperately missed.
‘You want to give me...anal sex? Just like that?’
He laughed, low and deep. ‘Oh, no, rosebud, not just like that. There’s a certain amount of careful build-up to it—’
‘I don’t mean the actual workings of it, and you know it. I mean, how can you toss aside the issues between us and just...?’
He raised an eyebrow. ‘Just as easy as it was for you to skip past our issues and ask for oral sex. Regardless of how we feel about certain aspects of our past, you can’t deny that there’s a chemistry that just won’t fucking quit. I thought the best way to deal with it was to stay away from you but that didn’t work. So here we are.’
Because I’d pushed or because he’d been unable to resist? I chose to believe the latter.
‘But if you don’t want to play, just say so,’ he added.
It wasn’t a taunt like I’d thrown at him. A part of me even suspected he wanted me to chicken out so he would be done with me.
But I didn’t want to be done with Bryce. The ache in my chest wouldn’t let me. No matter what had come after, some of my happiest memories were the ones I spent with him. When the criticism from my family had got too much to bear, he’d been the one I’d run to. A judgement-free space I could hide in, perhaps even count on since his own defunct upbringing meant he shied away from the subject of family. It had been enough...then.
But ultimately, those flaws gaped. For me or for him.
Sure, we were different people with different wants, needs and goals now. And there was more than one way to skin a cat.
Grimacing at the off-putting analogy, I trailed my finger over the swirls in the tablecloth. By not informing him I was going to marry Dan despite my promise otherwise, I was partly responsible for messing up our friendship.
‘What happened in your apartment was my way of trying to get past all the...hostility. But it also got me thinking. I think you’ll agree we’re past the platonic relationship point?’
I’d probably need a shrink for this later, but right now, with my gorgeous hunk of an almost-ex-best friend sitting in front of me, I couldn’t let it go.
When he gave a wary nod, I continued. ‘I have a few weeks until the launch. And then I’m in town for another week after that to meet with my investors,’ I said.
His finger skirted back and forth across the lip of his wine glass. ‘And I have the official opening of the building taking up most of my time. But for this, rosebud, I’ll make the time. So?’
I wanted to ask if ‘this’ meant just the sex or our friendship but I chickened out. My heart had already taken a few bruises since he came back into my life. I didn’t want to invite any more. In direct contradiction my body surged to stinging life, my core clenching in wild anticipation of having its needs seen to properly, perhaps for the first time ever.
My burning secret of never having had a penetrative orgasm was one I hadn’t confessed to another soul. Would Bryce cure me of that affliction the same way he’d had me screaming within minutes of tonguing my clit and fingering my G spot?
‘I’m waiting for an answer.’
The breath I took was shallow and useless. And when I looked into his eyes the sensation of being sucked under was dangerously strong. But not strong enough to deny the pounding urgency inside me. ‘I want you in my life, Bryce.’
A peculiar, almost anticipatory expression flitted across his face. Before he could speak, I held up my hand.
‘If friends with benefits isn’t your bag, I suggest we go with business acquaintances with temporary benefits. Does that work for you?’
He tensed. ‘What are you saying?’
‘I’m saying I agree we can’t go back. So let’s find a...different path that works for us. Let’s not pigeonhole or define our relationship.’ And in that time, I’d try to win my friend back, I added silently.
‘What about the dare?’
My belly somersaulted with a mix of disquiet and excitement. I was stepping into completely new, potentially risky territory. But...no risk, no reward. Right? ‘I accept your dare.’
His smile was pure anticipation with dark, wicked speculation thrown in. It lingered for a while before he nodded. ‘Okay, deal.’ He glanced over my shoulder. ‘Your steak is here. I hope it’s been worth the wait.’
That sounded like a portent of things to come. For starters, the beef was melt-in-the-mouth glorious. Bryce stared drolly when I groaned on my second heavenly mouthful.
‘What?’ I demanded.
‘The food is great, I know, but let’s keep the When Harry Met Sally exaggeration to a minimum, yeah?’ he griped.
‘Wow, you’re really in a foul mood, aren’t you?’
‘You’re attracting attention with those sounds you’re making. You sound like you’re auditioning for a food porn hotline.’ He punctuated that observation by redirecting his glare to the man on the next table whose head had snapped my way at my groan.
Another shiver raked through me as I carefully cut my steak. ‘I’ll bow to your superior expertise on what a food porn hotline worker sounds like. And I was wrong. You’re not angry. You’re jealous.’ Why that realisation sent a thrill through my blood was a shameful joy I intended to hug to myself all night long.
His nostrils flared. ‘You can attempt not to look so infinitely smug while saying that,’ he said.
Clearly my poker face needed work. ‘You go
t me, Bryce. I have my first concrete evidence that you still care about me. Forgive me for wanting to celebrate a little.’
He sighed. ‘What are you talking about now?’
‘You only go crazy over the things you care about. Remember Darcy Livingston? You threw a guy into a wall because he groped her in the lecture hall at uni. Three days later, you were dating her.’
His eyes widened a touch before his eyebrows clamped together. ‘You’re misremembering. It wasn’t the lecture hall, it was the cinema, and it was the same guy she told me had been harassing her for the better part of a semester. Maybe if you hadn’t been so busy enjoying Levi What’s-His-Face shoving his tongue down your throat after just one date, instead of watching the film you picked, you’d remember correctly.’
‘His name was Neville. And we’d been on three dates by then.’
A muscle rippled in his jaw. ‘Remind me again why we’re talking about our exes?’ he griped.
‘We’re talking about the things you care about. The only handy examples are exes from the past.’
A dark shadow passed over his face. ‘You think exes are the only ways I’ve shown you I cared?’
My heart lurched a little and I gripped my fork hard. ‘I said they were handy examples. A way to make my point without dragging up other...deeper stuff.’ Like when he’d broken his arm after tripping downstairs the month before I turned eighteen and spent three days in hospital without a visit from any member of his family, not even his own parents. His siblings had been in boarding school and the only one who’d turned up eventually had been his Aunt Flo, who’d cut short her trip to New Zealand to be at his side.
He stared at me for an age before he sat back farther, placing even more distance between us. ‘I’m not sure this new...path works for me. Here’s an idea. Let’s simplify things.’
My heart dipped. ‘How?’
‘Truth or dare,’ Bryce murmured, narrow-eyed.
Truth, always. Those two words were my usual stock answer. But seeing the myriad expressions shadowing his gorgeous features, knowing he thought he had me completely figured out, I did something I’d never done before. ‘Dare.’