by Vivian Wood
With a heavy heart, I head into the hallway, planning to grab a bag full of my stuff. Erik follows me, glowering at me the entire way.
"Where are you going?" he demands.
I huff at him. Pulling a tote bag out of the closet, I start stuffing it with necessities. "Where do you think? It's not like I have many other places to go to."
He leans in the doorway, folding his arms across his chest and frowning. "You're being crazy, Nika. Why don't you just take a while to cool off and then we can approach this more logically."
My eyes mist over. Even though part of me very much wants to stay, to spend as much time with him as he will allow me to, I know I have to go. And that breaks my God damned heart.
Blotting at my eyes, I pick up the tote bag and turn to face Erik. "The thing is. You either believe in us. You believe wholeheartedly that we can make it… Or you don't. It's just that simple. So, tell me. Do you believe? Or are you still caught up in what other people think about us that you can't see the forest for the trees?"
He pushes out his cheek with his tongue. "Nika… Don't. Please. I'm asking you to stay. Isn't that good enough?"
Sucking in a breath, I shake my head slowly. "No, Erik. I don't think it is."
I walk towards him, waiting for him to move, to get out of my way. But he doesn't. He just stands there, an immovable brick wall of smoldering anger.
"You're making a mistake." His voice is rough, gone to gravel. "If you walk away, that's it. We're through."
A tear breaks free from my eye, running down my cheek. I step up to him, a hair’s breadth away. Peering up at his face, I utter the words that will echo in my head for a long, long time.
"So be it. I would rather be alone than be with someone that doesn't believe in me."
Erik shakes his head, pushing himself off the doorway and backing out of the way. I push past him into the hallway as tears begin to run down my face freely.
I raise my head and stalk out of the apartment, reminding myself that I am a princess. No matter that I can't see because I am blinded by my own tears and my own weak heart.
The last thing I see before the elevator doors close is Erik, his face tortured, his big body looming just outside the elevator door.
I open my mouth to say something to him but the doors close before I can get it out. Pushing the button to take me to the ground floor, I promise myself I won't break down until I am out of the building.
33
Erik
"Are you sure you're ready for this?" I whisper to Stellan. He adjusts his tux, giving me a hard look. Behind him, a whole cathedral full of dressed up wedding guests sit, chatting and laughing, their voices low like ambient noise.
Stellan runs his tongue over his teeth, wiping his hands on his expensive tuxedo pants. "I’m as ready as I'll ever be. I'm very excited to have this part over and done with so that Margot and I can rule the country. That, and we have a hell of a honeymoon awaiting us."
I smile at him. "It sounds like you have your priorities in order. You have any second thoughts?"
He clears his throat, looking behind me at his brothers. He will always be the oldest son, the one in charge. There's no getting around that.
"None whatsoever. We've already done a private ceremony with just the family. This is just an elaborate show for the public."
I nod, casting an eye over the church. "Fair enough."
Behind me, the organist begins playing a hymn. I look around, as if the person that I'm the most anxious to see will be in the crowd. But I know for a fact that Nika will be marching down the aisle with the other bridesmaids. Just thinking about her, my palms begin to grow sweaty.
Lars edges over to me and leans in close. "You look like shit. When is the last time you even slept?"
I probably haven't slept for four whole hours at a time ever since Nika left me. I toss and turn every single night, trying to piece together what happened and figure out if there is a way back for the two of us.
There has to be, right? That is very much on my mind at the moment.
I wince. “I haven’t slept much this week.”
Lars raises an eyebrow. "That bad, huh? Our little Annika seems to have you wrapped around her little finger…"
I shoot him a glare as the first bridesmaid makes her way down the aisle. It's a random brunette woman that Margot and Pippa know from New York. Pretty enough in her own way, she swishes down the aisle looking like a cupcake. She winks at me, hinting that she is available. Although that's the last thing on my mind right now.
I turn away, clearing my throat and keeping my eyes on Stellan.
Next is Pippa, looking breathtaking as usual in a pretty pink gown. When I glance over at Lars, I see him watching her with a crackling gaze that seems almost electric.
Those two are definitely going to get together. The question is when.
I forget all about Pippa and Lars and their weird friendship that is on the verge of breaking into a full-blown lust. Because Annika steps out into the cathedral at that moment, literally stealing the breath out of my lungs. I can't look away from her: her hair is piled atop her head, her makeup subdued, her body looking unbelievable in her strappy pale pink dress.
I school my expression. No one else here needs to know that I have been turning myself inside out every day and every night since she left. No one else here knows that we were even a thing.
But when Nika looks at me, pinning me in place with her frost-tinted eyes, I forget all of that. I can only focus on how amazing she looks and how much I want her to run straight to me.
When our gazes meet, her cheeks turn pink and she looks away immediately. She walks up the aisle towards me, avoiding my gaze. At the last moment she turns right and climbs the stairs to stand beside Pippa.
I keep my expression blank, but I can't help the fact that my gaze is drawn to her over and over again throughout the ceremony. In her barely-there strappy sleek dress, she displays miles of bare, glowing skin. Skin that I know, every single inch of it.
I swear, I can feel her skin against mine, her warm body pressing against my flesh.
When Margot comes in and the music changes, I have to rip my eyes away from Nika. Margot does look beautiful, wearing a gorgeous white gown and a long, glamorous veil and train that are carried by two young men.
No one walks her up the aisle, which is a little odd. But when I look over at Stellan, he has tears in his eyes. I'm reminded of his engagement party, of the fact that Margot and Stellan look at each other like they are the only two important planets in their tiny universe.
What they have is truly special. Even I can admit that.
Margot walks up the stairs, bowing slightly so that Stellan can peel back her veil. She's all smiles today, already in tears. Her cupcake pink hair has never seemed so coiffed.
And yet, my eyes keep wandering over to Nika. I listen as the ceremony proceeds, but I keep darting my gaze over to her again and again.
I have to do something. I can't let her walk away again. Not this time.
Stellan leans back towards me, looking at me clinically. "The rings," he prompts.
I pat my pocket before reaching in and producing both of the rings. Stellan doesn't seem to mind the fact that I wasn't paying a bit of attention. Then again, he seems to be wholly caught up in his own world.
Before I even realize it, the wedding ceremony is almost over. There is a moment where Stellan and Margot kiss.
My gaze finds Nika. And to my surprise, she is looking right at me. She blushes and looks away, but I have the satisfaction of having caught her.
The priest announces the new couple and they head down the stairs, walking down the aisle like they are floating on air. I follow them out, heading down the aisle, Lars at my side. I give him a look and he shrugs.
"Weddings give girls ideas that we actually want to marry them," he jokes.
I roll my eyes at him. "Can you not just be happy for your brother? Besides, we all know who you are going to end up
walking down the aisle with. There is no suspense or mystery to be had there."
He glares at me. "I'm going to tell you this for the one billionth time. Pippa and I are just friends. That's all we will ever be. Should just take your lamentations about dating someone in this family and shove them up your ass."
I shoot him a look. It's better to avoid the entire subject of dating someone in his family, I think. "I'll race you to the reception."
He smirks and elbows his way past a group of older women who have just gotten up from the pews. "You're on."
Rolling my eyes, I hurry after him. For the next two hours, the wedding takes precedence over anything I want to do. There's the receiving line, walking to the reception at a very posh hotel, and then there are speeches and the first dance between Margot and Stellan. I see Annika several times throughout the preceding events, but she always looks away and pretends to be busy with someone else.
Honestly, it makes me grit my teeth. It's not until after I deliver my rousing best man's speech that I can slip away unnoticed.
I corner Annika in a quiet hallway, just off the main room. As I approached, she looks up at me, her eyes going wide. Her gaze slides around the hallway. She bites her lip.
"Erik…" Her voice sounds like a shaky warning. "Today isn’t about us. You would do well to remember that."
I pace over to where she stands, looking at her amazing body in that perfect little pale pink dress. I breathe in, catching a whiff of her natural scent.
It's maddening.
"Your brother is happily involved with his new bride. Now I have all the time in the world." I reach out, brushing my fingers along her upper arm. She shivers and swallows, her wide, innocent eyes seeming to spear me.
"Have you changed your mind, then?"
I smirk at her. "You still think I'm the one that was in the wrong?"
Her gaze hardens. "Yes. I thought I was pretty clear."
Sliding my big hand around her tiny waist, I pull her flush against my body. I hear her sudden exhalation of breath. She feels so good in my arms. I'm sure that there is not a single woman on earth that I would rather be with right now then Nika.
I lean my head down, brushing my lips over hers. I whisper against her mouth. "You want me. I can tell. It's written all over your face."
Her hands come up to push at my chest, but I kiss her again and they relax a little, her nails digging into my skin through my tux. I bend her back and kiss her properly, not even thinking about the fact that we are in a public space.
No, I'm only thinking about the girl in my arms, about how much I have missed her. When Stellan himself comes rushing over, I take too long to pull back from her lips.
And that second of hesitation allows him to land the first punch, nearly a knockout blow. I stumble backwards, still holding Nika in my arms. She pushes me away and stumbles backward, her wide eyes on her big brother.
Stellan is furious with me. "You fucking asshole. You’re… what, you’re sleeping with her? You stole something from my family. What the hell?"
I raise my hands, only now aware of the crowd forming behind Stellan. I definitely don't want to get into a fist fight with him, not today of all days.
"Just go back to your wedding, man. Look, Margot's waiting for you." I nod to her, feeling my jaw where he punched it. It's achy.
Stellan doesn't look satisfied with that. He rounds on Nika, pointing his finger at her. "You should've known better. You should have stayed out of his bed. I don't want to see you anymore today. Just go." He looks at me, his fury evident. "As for you, consider yourself fired from the royal family service. Good riddance to bad garbage." He spits on the floor, his face going red.
My hands bunch into fists. He called me garbage. Nobody does that to me as an adult and gets away with it.
Nika scowls at her brother. “Don’t call him that. He may have ruined my life but he’s not garbage.”
Stellan raises his head and sniffs. “I said what I said.”
“You’re wrong,” Nika says, facing him down. “You’ve never seen him for the prize that he really is. That’s been clear to me from the jump.”
He sneers at me. “Are you just going to let my little sister fight all your battles?”
I take a step towards him, baring my teeth. But Nika raises her hand to block me, looking at Stellan. "We will go. We don't want to make trouble, honestly."
He squints at both of us. Then he relents a little bit, or so I think. "Nika, you can stay. But Erik, I want you gone. I won't have someone that would stab me in the back so eagerly hanging around. That's what you've done your whole life. You hung around. Now it's over. So I want you gone. From this event. From the palace. From my life. Just go."
Stellan cuts me to the core, skewering me with his words. And because he is the king, I'm pretty sure that he can follow up on his threats.
Just like that, I have lost the life I've built over so many years. I look to Annika, wordless and beseeching.
She presses her lips into a thin line and looks like she is about to die of embarrassment. Then Stellan turns around, storming off toward where he left Margot on the dance floor. Nika looks at me, swallowing tensely. She shakes her head at me, like she doesn't even know me. When I try to reach out to her, she just shrugs out of my touch.
"Don't. Don't touch me. I think you should leave now."
As she says it, two blue jacketed guards approach me. They both have serious looks on their faces, like they are ready to throw down. I try to protest but one of the guards grabs me by the elbow and shoves me toward the exit door, taking me to the stairs at the back instead of through the crowd of people gathered and watching.
Just before the door swings closed on me, I look back and catch a glimpse of Annika, her expression nothing short of tortured.
And then I am being pulled down the stairs, telling the guards to take it easy.
I turn forward and stumble along, feeling so overwhelmed that I can’t process any of it at all.
34
Annika
I stand at the very corner of the ballroom, looking out the huge plate glass windows. The wedding reception is still going on behind me although it is winding down by now. I look out the window to the sun setting on the Copenhagen skyline and try not to cry.
There are so many thoughts and feelings going on in my head right now.
But this is not the time or place to air them out… Especially not when my big brother is brooding and twirling his new bride on the dance floor. I turn and eye the ballroom, trying to guess when I can slip away and not be noticed.
My misery is complete, the source of it has been escorted from the premises. And yet, I am more alone than ever.
I spot Kal coming towards me, looking chic as always in her lavender gown. She arches a brow at me as she approaches, handing me a flute of champagne. I accept it, giving her a sad smile.
She lifts her glass, clinking it against the rim of mine. "To Stellan's wedding, I suppose."
My mouth lifts a little, but I repress an eye roll and take a sip of the wine. "I'm sure that Stellan probably hates me right now. I interrupted his wedding with my personal drama. How perfect."
Kal wrinkles her nose and looks around. "What do you say we get out of here? Just for a little while. I think I saw a sign that said you could get to the roof from here."
I sigh. In the normal course of events, I would say no. But today, I have royally screwed up. No pun intended.
So, I just nod. "I think that sounds great."
Kal leads me to the same stairwell that Erik was escorted out of just a little while ago. She opens the door, waving me inside.
"Wait!" A woman's voice calls. Kal and I both turn and find Pippa making her way towards us. She flashes us a gentle smile and follows us through the door into the stairwell.
"Wherever you guys are going, I want to go to. I am tired of having Margot and Stellan's love rubbed in my face. It's enough for one day at least."
Kal's lips twi
tch. "We were just going up to the rooftop. Come on."
She leads the way up the staircase, opening the door that leads onto the roof. It's surprisingly peaceful up here, the rooftop bar and patio area set up but empty. It's balmy outside, the late Copenhagen summer evening still nice. Pippa leads the way to an empty table, pulling up a chair to it.
When we both sit down, Pippa looks around at both of us. "So? Spill the beans. Dish the dirt. What happened with you and Erik?"
I take my seat and lean my elbows against the table, pressing my hands against my face. "I don't even know where to begin, honestly."
"I didn't even realize that you guys had broken up!" Kal protests. I sigh heavily and drop my hands, putting my arms on the table. “
I screw up my face. "Yeah. I mean… It got a lot bigger than just sleeping together and it happened fast. I…" I stopped speaking, my eyes misting over. I swallow. "Sorry…"
Kal gets up and leans down to hug me, which is exactly what I needed just now. I turn towards her, my hand resting on her shoulder as I fall apart against her collarbone.
She shushes me, murmuring that everything will be all right. She has no way of knowing that, of course, but it's still comforting to hear.
Pippa frowns. "I'm sorry to see you so sad over this. Do you want to tell us about it?"
I suck in a breath and shake my head. "Not really."
Kal gives me a squeeze and pulls her chair next to mine, sitting down. She looks at me, her mahogany eyes piercing. "Let me just ask one thing, then. How far did things progress? I mean, did you guys say those three little words, or are we talking about something less?"
Pulling away from her chest, I waved at my eyes. "I told him I loved him. He didn't say it back, though."
Kalindi and Pippa both look surprised at that. My cheeks heat and I look down at the table, embarrassed. Pippa reaches out and takes my hand, squeezing it.
"I'm so sorry. That isn't very fair."
Blotting my eyes, I sniff. "Thanks. You are nice to say it."