I've given up a lot to be with you. Ashe didn't say it, but the thought hung in the air like perfume.
I shook my head, my cheeks reddening. "Don't you get how hard this is for me?"
He shrugged. "You aren't the only one who's having a hard time with this bond. I live in a unit with six other guys—take a moment and think about that."
I huffed. "Yeah, because this has been a fucking picnic for me. I'm an outsider and apparently the slut who stole their favorite teacher's boyfriend. If you want Lacy, then go back to her!"
My words hung in the air, bitter, ugly, and embarrassingly immature. I might as well be proving his point for him.
My soldier shook his head, a sarcastic smirk curving his mouth. "Stop, you know that's ridiculous." He stared me down, his eyes dark in the dim room. "You've been bullied. Okay, I get that. But we both have to be strong—tough. Whatever happens, you can't just run off because you feel like it."
I sucked in a breath, feeling like a complete asshole.
Then the tug of Aaraeth near the window made me stand and spin around.
Ashe stormed over to the glass, pressed a button, and the large panes began to part. The cold March air whipped into the room, scattering papers onto the floor and toppling a glass, spilling water onto the carpet.
Aaraeth dove in through the window first, nearly knocking the wind out of me. She then hit my chest and melded into my body. I stumbled over and would have hit the table if it weren't for Ashe. He grabbed my arm and righted me as Eondian merged with him.
"Thanks," I said unconsciously, stumbling to sit down as Ashe closed the large window with an electric whir. "I don't know if I'll ever get used to that."
He stared me down, his lips still pressed in irritation. "We can't fight like this." Taking a position on the window seat next to me, he clasped my hands in his. "You've closed yourself off from me. Here, let me help you. Shut your eyes and open up to me. Let me understand."
Sucking in an uneven breath, I licked my lips and did as he said.
The wall I'd built around my mind to protect myself now stood on its own. I'd held it up these past months, and now I had no idea how to tear it down.
Ashe squeezed my hands. "Let me in. Come on."
The mental wall was made of large stones, neatly and carefully fit together. I pushed at them and slammed my palms against the surface, but they didn't move. I had to try something else. I imagined a bulldozer to ram the wall, over and over again. But nothing worked until I simply imagined a door and I opened it. Ashe seemed to tumble into my head, and when his mind touched my own, I shivered from the sensation.
His thoughts were like a waffle, each square holding a different emotion. He felt them all but only focused on one at a time.
"Okay, now what?" I whispered.
Ashe frowned. "Show me why you need to go. Make me understand."
"All right." And then I did show him... or more like I pushed those thoughts at him.
Memories of my dad and me, of all the time we spent together. Where he guided me and taught me. The love and connection we had and my concern over his well being. My confusion about him and my mother. Confusion about his identity—was he Dragonborn or human? I wanted him to explain away all the things I'd heard about him. Was he a criminal? I had to find out what was real and what was a lie, and only George Miller could tell me those things.
Finally, the flow of emotion and images trickled to a stop.
I breathed out a sad laugh. "I guess this was our first real fight."
Ashe was still processing it all, his eyes closed.
When he spoke, he said, "We need to stop skimming the surface and have real conversations, real communication."
"You've been the distant one lately."
He averted his gaze, "I think we're both guilty of that. I thought that would make it easier."
"Turns out it just makes it shittier." I elbowed his hard stomach, "Maybe it's time you stopped treating me like a baby and treated me like your equal."
Ashe gave me a cocky grin, and I narrowed my eyes back at him.
"Okay," he said, "About this New York trip…"
I gazed up at him in the intimate space between us. "I have to go. You know that, and now you know why."
Running a hand through his hair, he sighed, "Yeah."
"I'm glad you get it."
"Where are you flying out of?" He asked, that crease lining his brow.
"Spokane," I told him.
Shaking his head, he groaned and checked his watch. "Spokane? Seriously? That's like an eight-hour drive from here. Are you packed?"
I nodded.
"All right, get your things. Meet me in the front parking lot. We have to leave as soon as possible."
Rushing back to Drake House, I searched for my backpack. As I knelt digging under my bed, I heard Taya clear her throat.
"Looking for something?" She asked, holding my backpack in one hand.
I closed the distance between us and reached for my bag, but she held it away.
"Where are we going?" She asked sweetly.
I froze. "You don't need to know. I'll be with Ashe—safe."
She raised both eyebrows. "Okay. Well, I still have orders to protect you, so," she patted her own military duffel beside her, "let's go."
I gave her an irritated look. "All right, but you're wasting your time."
"I get paid to waste my time," she shot back.
A blue Subaru hatchback sat idling in the small parking area in front of the school. I tugged on the door handle and was about to jump inside when Taya pulled me out of the way. "No way, you're in the back."
I groaned but did as she said. I didn’t need to get caught, leaving Balaur a second time.
Ashe gave Taya a weary look. "You can come, but you're taking a shift driving."
She shrugged before making herself comfortable and buckling her seat belt. "Okay."
Ashe reversed out of his parking spot before shifting the car into drive and speeding away from the school.
"Did you tell anyone anything?" I asked my would-be mate, watching Taya as she adjusted the vent with her fingers.
Clearing his throat, Ashe said, "I've made arrangements so that we won't be missed."
"Oh, what does that mean?" Taya interjected.
"It means that if we're careful, we won't get caught." his jaw twitched.
I perched in the middle in the backseat, leaning between Ashe and Taya.
Taya asked, "Where do they think Sydney will be? And where are we actually going?"
"Spokane," both Ashe and I told her.
"Oooh, creepy. You guys are talking in unison now? Is that normal?"
I groaned. "Oh my god, Taya! You should've just stayed at Balaur."
She let out a wispy sigh. "Nope. I'm due a promotion. Do you think I want to ruin everything because I let you out of my sight? No, sir."
The guard glanced between Ashe and me. "So, Spokane. What's in Spokane? Why are we going there? Just so you know, I'm not letting you seal the bond." She eyed Ashe. "You wouldn't fuck me over like that, would you?"
"We aren't sealing the bond," Ashe said, his voice exasperated. Then he turned to me. "Syd, do you have your driver's license?"
"Me? No. I know how to drive though," I told him quickly.
"No license, no driving."
"Okay…" I muttered. "Just trying to help."
"Why don't you have your driver's license?" He asked.
I shrugged, "We were never in the States long enough to get one. Besides, I never needed one."
Taya glanced between us. "What's going on? Why are we going to Spokane? What's in Spokane?"
Ashe and I shared a look.
"We're not going to Spokane, we're going to the airport," Ashe told her while meeting my eyes in the rearview mirror.
I gave him a sad smile. "Are you sure you won't get in trouble for this? I can still go on my own."
Ashe shrugged. "No, we'll do this together. I promised to protect you,
and I meant it."
I twisted the ring on my finger that he'd given me. Then reaching forward, I took his hand in mine and kissed his knuckles. "I don't deserve you."
He barked out a laugh.
"Oh gross," Taya said while opening the glove compartment to examine the contents. Holding up a hairbrush filled with long dark strands, she asked, "Whose car is this?"
I lifted a small red hoodie from the floor next to me and said, "That's a good question."
Ashe sucked in a breath through his teeth. "This is Lacy's car. She let me borrow it."
Both Taya and I let out varying moans of disbelief.
"Seriously? Ashe?" She punched his arm. "You're a moron. You don't take an ex-girlfriend's car to deflower your sixteen-year-old girlfriend."
His expression was innocent when he answered, "I asked. She said it was okay. Besides, there weren't many choices, and we were in a bind."
The car quieted when the gravel road turned to hardpack beneath the tires.
Taya just leaned back and shook her head. "Not cool, man. Not cool."
We stopped twice to pee and get gas along the way before navigating into the city.
Taya had taken a long stretch driving, but now Ashe was at the wheel. He'd made it to the airport and parked in the long term parking lot while it was still dark.
Wearily, Taya opened her eyes and glanced around before bolting upright. "What? You both are assholes! Are you serious? The airport? I thought you were messing with me. Where are you going to go?" Then it dawned on her. "Your dad?"
I nodded.
"I have to call this in," she muttered, opening her phone.
Ashe shook his head, and I felt Eondian rise up inside him as he pushed on the girl. "No, Taya. Don't make me compel you."
The guard bit her thumbnail, her eyes darting between Ashe and me, her mouth in a thin line. "You guys suck! I'm not leaving Sydney's side. I'm going wherever she goes."
I widened my eyes and looked away.
Ashe pulled the keys from the ignition, his voice sharp, "This is the deal. I could use the backup. We all go with Sydney to see her father. They talk, then we leave. If the council asks what's going on, I'll tell them. But, only if they ask."
Taya's brow furrowed, and her voice dripped with disdain, "Well, technically, you are my commanding officer… So, fine. Whatever." Her gaze flicked between us. "Who's buying my ticket?"
25
Landing in New York, my two worlds came crashing together. JFK was such a familiar airport, and yet, it was strange to be there without my dad.
Getting on the subway to my apartment was like second nature. I was contemplative and quiet, but so was Ashe. Taya didn't speak much, either.
Everything I'd been looking forward to over these past months, all my plans were coming to fruition. But, dread settled inside me, waiting like a coiled snake, preparing to bite.
Who would I find in the apartment? My loving father, who had taught me to read and showed me the world or the criminal who was an enemy of the Dragonborn?
I knew the truth lay somewhere in between, I only hoped with all my being that it could be something that I could live with.
Ashe could sense my apprehension and gripped my hand as we sat in the subway car as it rocked. Taya shifted uneasily, looking around at the other passengers.
"Have you been here before?" I asked both of my companions, trying to take my mind off the events to come.
Taya shook her head. "New York City? Nah, I've been to upstate New York before, though. You used to live here?"
I bit my lip. "Well, for a few days here and there. When dad's not working, he liked to travel… or said he did." I hadn't realized that he had been running from anyone. I shook my head, breaking eye contact with the guard.
The world had been flipped on its head—up was down and down was up now.
Had I liked to travel? Or was it just something my dad did? Something he said he liked?
Was all that a lie? Was he just trying to get away from them? Keep me away from them?
Aaraeth stirred after a long time of being silent.
Deep doubts, deep wisdom. Small doubts, little understanding, she told me enigmatically.
Are you quoting me fortune cookies now? I asked drolly.
No. Ancient saying.
I recognized where we were and stood to get off.
"We're almost there," I muttered to my companions, forcing myself to take slow and even breaths.
When the train jolted to a stop, I led them out of the subway and onto the sidewalk. A knot had formed in my throat, and I doubted I could speak if I had to.
The short city hike stretched out before us, and emotion filled me to overflowing.
I stopped automatically in front of the building and hesitated, trembling.
Ashe turned me toward him and stared into my eyes. "Is this it?" He asked me before turning to Taya, "Do you feel that?"
Taya glanced around. "Shit. Wow. It's been a while. Is that what I think it is?"
I whispered, "What? Feel what? What are you talking about?"
Ashe nodded and scanned the street around us. "Sydney, reach out with your mind. Do you feel it? Emptiness... Someone who's not human but Dragonborn without a dragon."
Taya shook her head. "I don't like this. We need to get out of here. I want nothing to do with anyone that has had the stygian ritual done to them."
Ashe's head spun to the short guard. "Hold on."
"What's going on? What's the stygian ritual?" My grandmother had mentioned that before, months ago.
Aaraeth lay coiled inside me, ready to pounce. I held onto her with a tentative grasp.
A visible shiver ran through Taya before she whispered, "The stygian ritual is a ritual that removes your dragon. It's only done on people... Dragonborn who..." She glanced up at my Ashe.
"It's a punishment, only criminals receive that ritual," Ashe said, pushing me behind himself as he surveyed the space.
The wind swirled leaves around on the ground, car traffic, honks, and voices took on a menacing quality. A skateboarder passed us, the wheels thump thumping over each crack in the sidewalk.
I searched out with my mind, reaching up in the building, bypassing humans - humans everywhere. Then I found him.
"I think that's my dad. My dad's in there. I feel him." I whispered, trying not to overthink the hollow feeling inside him.
Taya squinted against the sunlight. "This is a bad idea, Sydney. It's actually illegal to associate or communicate with anyone who's been punished like this."
I scoffed, angry that we'd come all this way, and yet the two of them were trying to stop me.
Ashe gripped my shoulder. "Stop for a moment and think about this. George Miller…"
I cut him off, "My dad."
"Is a known enemy of the Dragonborn. Listen to us. He could kidnap you…"
Again I cut in, holding my hands up in exasperation. "He's NOT going to kidnap me! He's recovering! He's been in a coma in the hospital! The man should be more afraid of us!"
Ashe swallowed, closed his eyes, and reached out with his mind.
"Wh…"
"Shh!" He stopped me. "I'm checking the area."
Taya twisted her lips. "Only Ashe can do it because he's a Prime."
I slouched, impatient to go inside, and irritated with their delays.
Ashe opened his pale blue eyes and nodded. "It's just him. He's the only Dragonborn other than us that I can sense." Focusing on me, he cocked his head to the side. "All right. Let's go in. But for God's sake, Sydney, do what I say. I'm trying to protect you. Okay?"
I smiled innocently.
"No. I'm serious. This is life or death right now. It's not a joke."
"Fine. Okay. But I know my dad." I shrugged his grip off my shoulders and walked the steps to the entrance.
Taya shook her head, frowning. "Ashe?"
"Taya, just be on alert."
She nodded, and the two followed me up the steps to the building's entra
nce.
Standing outside, I buzzed the apartment and waited.
"Hello?" Lori answered in her Scandinavian accent, sending relief flooding through me.
"It's Sydney, will you buzz me up?"
"Yes, yes, of course!"
When the door clicked, I pushed my way inside.
My soldier motioned to Taya and brought up the rear.
We didn't even need to wait for the elevator because the doors swept open quickly after I'd pressed the button.
Cramming into the small space, my two companions exchanged a glance.
As the elevator slowed to a stop, and the door slid open, I sped toward the apartment.
Lori stood there in the doorway wearing an apron like a housewife and smiling. But I wasn't here to see her. I was here to see my dad, check him, make sure he was all right.
"Hello, Hello? Dad? It's Sydney." I called out as my feet ate up the short distance from the door to his tiny bedroom.
What would I find?
Who would I find?
Would my father still be my father?
My dragon senses led me to him, but I stopped in the doorway, afraid to enter. The window was open and cold air blowing in made the curtain dance in the breeze. Cars, music, and sirens made up the familiar soundtrack of this apartment, easing me somewhat.
"Dad?" My word came out almost like a sob.
He lay propped up in bed, his eyes closed and hands resting on top of the covers. I'd never seen my father look so old or so weak.
"Dad?" I breathed again.
With the second word, his eyes shot open.
"Sydney," he murmured, struggling to sit and holding his arms out to me.
I flew to him, sobbing and trying to hug him as carefully as I could.
He held me for a long time, and when we both pulled back, his eyes were full of tears like my own.
"I've missed you, darling," he told me in his British accent, cupping my cheek.
"Are you okay? I've been so worried! So worried! How are you? Lori says, you're recovering? Did you know I was emailing you? Did Lori tell you I was emailing you?" Taking tissues from his nightstand, I wiped at his tears and then my own.
Cracked Open: The Dragon Born Academy Page 22