by Linde, K. A.
My anger burst. Everything I’d been holding in unloaded at once. I pushed against his chest. But he stayed firm, enduring that anger as if he were weathering a storm.
“Natalie,” he said, reaching out to stop me.
But I couldn’t be contained. “How? How could he do this to me? How could he lie? Just fucking lie to my face. I don’t understand.” My voice broke. “I asked for the truth. Is the truth that fucking hard?”
“No,” he said.
“Don’t fucking talk to me about that,” I yelled at him. “You lied, too. You held everything back. This is your fault, too.”
“I lied. I’m sorry. I was wrong. But I wasn’t fucking stalking you, Natalie. I didn’t plan a way for us to be together. We just were. Let out your anger about Lewis, but don’t confuse the two.”
“Fine. No anger for you, just him. Seems fair,” I said sarcastically. I pushed away from him again, deaf to his reasoning. My world had tipped upside down again. I’d had that caution about Lewis, but I’d just told Amy that it was going to be fine. I needed time to process. And now, this?
How did I even move on from this?
This wasn’t a stupid bet that had gotten me fired. This was my boyfriend actually creepily stalking me. Not just arranging for us to meet, but going behind my back and forcing us together. Taking pictures and videos of me without my knowledge.
If that wasn’t bad enough…all three of my manuscripts I’d submitted to Warren were there. He knew how I felt about him reading my work. He knew. I’d told him time and time again. It was the only thing I’d never given up on. So, he’d gone behind my back and stolen the books.
“I’ve taken a year of your anger. Fuck, seven years of your anger, Natalie. But I did this for you. I didn’t want you to find out another way or years down the line when you were fucking married, okay?”
I beat against Penn’s chest, letting out all my frustration and grief. “How could he do this to me?”
“Natalie, stop. Just stop.”
When it was clear that I wasn’t going to be consolable, Penn reached forward and grabbed both of my wrists. I struggled against him, and he pulled them over my head, backing me into the wall and bracing me against it with his body.
“Breathe,” he said soothingly. “Breathe, Natalie.”
I took a deep inhalation and slowly released it. I’d been near hyperventilating. And I hadn’t even known it. Just panic coursing through me. Taking over. My whole body was shaking. The knowledge that I’d fallen into this trap again—only worse—had shattered something vital within me. I couldn’t seem to find that string to pull me back to myself.
“He read my manuscripts,” I whispered, my bottom lip trembling. I bit down into it, hard enough to keep me in the here and now. My blue eyes were clear as I looked up into his face. “He fucking read them.”
“I know.” He sounded pained. “I’m sorry. I wish I could save you from this.”
He’d tried. He’d told me. Addie had told me. But I hadn’t listened. I’d been so fucking stupid. And now, where was I?
I shook my head and suddenly felt exactly how we were positioned against the wall. Penn’s hips pressed into my own. His hands securing my wrists over my head. His lips mere inches from mine.
It hadn’t been sexual until that moment. Until the only thing that I could see was his mouth and feel was his cock and want was him.
I jerked forward against his bindings and pressed my mouth against his.
He pulled back sharply. “Natalie, stop. I’m not going to kiss you because you’re mad at him.”
“Okay,” I said and tried to reach him again.
“I’m serious.”
“I’ve wanted this since I saw you again,” I told him. “And now, there’s no reason to say no.”
He faltered for a moment. Struck by my words. Contemplating them. “I…”
“Penn,” I said with fire in my eyes and heart, “shut up and kiss me.”
And he did.
Natalie
36
Abandon. That was what his lips tasted like.
Bliss. That was what his hands felt like.
Reverence. That was what his body sang to me.
Our lips crushed against one another, vying for authority. We demanded more and more from each other. Wanted to give in completely to this feeling. To the knowledge that we both wanted it and nothing stood in our way.
My fingers fumbled with buttons. Each one making me curse his damn suit. I needed skin. I wanted his heat. I pushed his jacket off of his shoulders and let it drop to the floor, forgotten. He removed his tie and then yanked his own shirt off, heedless of the crumpled mess it now made at our feet. He reached for the buckle of his suit pants, but he was already sliding the zipper down my dress. A thousand-dollar dress, wasted on the hotel room floor.
“Fuck,” he breathed when he saw me standing there in nothing but a lace thong and high heels.
“Yes, please,” I responded.
His grip on my thong tightened, and suddenly, I heard a tearing sound. I gasped as the material ripped away.
“Oh my god.”
“Guess you don’t need those anymore.” He laughed softly at my exclamation and then captured my lips with his again.
I’d managed to undo his belt buckle, but he brushed my hands aside and forced them back over my head.
“Don’t move those,” he instructed.
My body was humming with desire as I watched what I couldn’t touch. He unbuttoned his pants and slid down the zipper. His pants pooled around his ankles, revealing his cock to me. My mouth watered, and I almost moved my hands to stroke him. But his gaze held me in place.
He slipped his hands on the outside of my thighs and hoisted me into the air. My hands dropped down onto his shoulders in shock as he braced my body back against the wall.
And neither of us had a moment to think before he thrust into me, filling me to the hilt. I groaned, leaning forward to kiss him again.
“God, yes,” I muttered incoherently.
This wasn’t steady, sweet seduction. This was Penn taking back what was his. What had always been his. Since that first night in Paris. Up until the moment he had fucked it all up. And even then, I’d wanted him.
I’d tried to deny it. I’d told myself I couldn’t want someone that I didn’t trust. That I wouldn’t give in. But, now, with all the barriers down, I knew that I’d been lying to myself.
Lying so hard.
Penn Kensington knew me inside and out. He’d fucked with my head and my heart. He’d tried to make it better. And he’d damn well been repentant about it. I knew that I held grudges, but it wasn’t until that moment—the very moment where we were joined together as one—that I saw how much damage they had done here.
Would I ever forget the damage he had inflicted? No. But right now, it didn’t matter. I could forgive him his stupidity here and now. I could move away from that anger and resentment of him using me. Manipulating me. Because it was obvious, so obvious, that this was real.
So real. More real than anything else.
And, while I was boiling over with rage, none was directed at him. Not the one who had been trying to warn me and now seemed to want to put me back together.
My head cracked against the wall as he drove up into me again. Our bodies smacking together. Our chests heaving. My breasts bouncing with the rhythm as he pounded into me.
This wasn’t gentle or coaxing. It wasn’t discovering my body. Because he already knew every damn inch of it.
This was taking, owning, claiming me in the most basic sense.
It was hedonistic.
Self-indulgent.
Wild.
We were wild with no boundaries. Nothing between us anymore. No secrets. No plans. No games.
The heat built. It consumed. My body shuddered from the waves of pleasure that coursed through me as he rocked into me.
“Oh fuck. Oh, Penn,” I called out into the hotel room.
I let i
t go. All the pain and hurt. I channeled my very being into that moment.
Then, I broke apart.
Into a million little pieces.
I yelled, “Fuck,” about a thousand times into the silent room as he slowed his pace to match my orgasm.
I was still seeing stars as he kicked out of his pants, carried me across the room, and gently laid me down on the bed. My hair fanned out all across the bed, getting tangled in the rose petals. He stared down at me as if I were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life. That look in his eyes…I had seen it before. An emotion that I couldn’t name in that moment, but, with my whole being, I knew what he was saying with those baby blues.
We’d separated after he lay me down, but he easily slid back into me. I inhaled sharply, still sensitive from the last orgasm. He grinned at that. A cocky smile that said he knew what he was doing to me. And fuck, he did.
“I have wanted this for so long,” he said as he started up a rhythm again.
“For a year,” I murmured.
“Every day for a year.” He pumped into me harder. “Just like this.”
I didn’t deny it. My body had ached for him. More of him. All of him.
And, when we were like this, everything else disappeared. I knew it would all come back later, but I didn’t want it between us right now. I didn’t want anything between us right now.
“More,” I begged.
He pressed my knee up, giving himself a deep angle into me. “See? You do beg,” he said with a smile.
“I’ll beg all you want if you fuck me right now.”
He leaned forward until our lips were almost touching. “Ask me again, love.”
My body pulsed as he kept a slow, steady pace. I wanted more. I wanted the force he’d used against the wall.
“Fuck me, Penn. God, just fuck me.”
His smile grew, and then he kissed me, hard. Restraint fled him. He slammed into me to the point of pain, but it only brought more pleasure. More, more, more. I didn’t want him to stop. Not as he fucked me until I was incoherent again.
Until both our bodies seized up, and we hit our climax together. Him not able to hold out any longer as I clamped around him with the strength of my own orgasm.
I rode the wave of pleasure until I thought I was going to pass out. Then, I finally stilled, my breathing ragged. My voice raw from screaming. A fine sheen of sweat coating our naked bodies. I stroked his hair and gently kissed his shoulder.
“Fuck, I missed you,” he murmured against my chest as he slowly eased back up to his elbow. “Nothing compares to you, Nat.”
My fingers ran along his jawline. I was lost to the euphoria of our coupling. “You’re the best I’ve ever had.”
He nodded. “Always.”
He began to pull back, but I stopped him in his place.
“Let’s not go back to reality yet.”
His lips captured mine once more. “No reality until you’re ready. Right now, it’s just us. Nothing else exists.”
I bit my lip and then agreed. He slid off of me and went to clean up. I stretched out on the bed like a cat and yawned. I felt like I’d just run a marathon. I could sleep for a week.
Penn came back out, and I switched places with him, taking care of my needs before returning to the bedroom, naked. He’d slung on his boxers and suit pants, though they remained undone.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
He popped the cork on the champagne and laughed. “For you?”
“Oh my god, Penn, you can’t open that.”
Penn grinned. “Didn’t want it to go to waste.”
He poured us each a glass and passed one to me.
“I cannot believe you just did that. We’re never going to get this room to look right again.”
“Who cares?” he said, dragging my naked form against him again. “I don’t care who knows what we did tonight.”
I sighed and took a sip of my champagne. I felt shockingly levelheaded, considering the fit I’d been in only a half hour ago. “I should probably go downstairs. There’s a conversation I need to have. And it’s not going to be pleasant.”
“Hey.” He tilted my chin up to look at him. “What happened to nothing else exists but us here?”
I downed the last of the champagne. “I shouldn’t ignore it. It’s better to rip off the Band-Aid.”
I could see that Penn wanted to say more. That he had questions about where this left us. But I didn’t have answers for him right now.
What we’d done was…wonderful. Beyond wonderful. It had been perfection. Things were just complicated. I needed to get everything else in order before I could even think about us. It was better to leave us here, where we were both blissful, than to make decisions under the influence of sex.
I pressed one more kiss to his lips and then went to grab my dress. He went back to the champagne bottle, lifting it to pour us each another glass. I could tell that he had hoped for more from me by the tilt of his shoulders. But he wouldn’t push me. Not after what had happened tonight.
“Can you help with the zipper?” I asked, turning my back to him.
His finger hit the bottom of the zipper when I heard a click.
My eyes went to the door in confusion. And then dread.
As Lewis Warren walked into the room.
Penn
37
“Fuck,” Natalie breathed next to me.
My eyes followed hers to find Lewis standing in the doorway.
He stopped with the door ajar as he took in the scene before him. The disturbed rose petals. Me zipping up Natalie’s dress. The fact that I was shirtless with my pants still undone. The open bottle of champagne. The room he’d purchased for their romantic evening. Which we’d used for our own escapade.
His jaw set. His hands balled into fists. His eyes turned murderous.
“What the fuck is this?” Lewis demanded.
He glanced between us, waiting for one of us to explain, to give some rational explanation for what he was witnessing, but I sure as fuck didn’t have one.
I calmly slid on my shirt and jacket and turned to him. “This is exactly what this looks like.”
“Penn,” Natalie hissed.
He took one more glance at us. At our state of dress and the way I stood just a bit in front of her. His eyes caught on Natalie’s discarded underwear. He lost whatever semblance of calm he’d had before he barged into the room. It shattered from his cool exterior. The mask slipped finally. Finally. And the real Lewis surfaced.
He barged across the room, clearing the distance in three quick strides. Then, he swung on me. I had seen it coming and dodged the first swing, but Lewis wasn’t holding back and landed the second one in my gut. I wheezed as the hit knocked the breath out of me.
Distantly, I heard Natalie yelling. Telling Lewis to stop. But it was just me and him now.
My fist connected with his face. Pain seared through my knuckles as I cracked his jaw sideways. But adrenaline pushed me forward, and I’d deal with that later.
He hit me again—in my ribs this time—and I gasped at the pain. But I didn’t care. I rushed him, knocking him backward off of his feet and throwing him to the ground. I landed on top of him and threw another fist into his face.
He swung his body to get momentum and jabbed his elbow into my face as he rolled me off of him. My lip split on contact, and blood dribbled down my chin.
Then, suddenly, Natalie was between us. Screaming in our faces. And her voice broke through.
“Stop! What the fuck is wrong with you two? This isn’t how we handle this. Stop it! Stop it!” she shrieked.
She was standing between us with her arms spread wide. Her blue eyes manic and afraid. My eyes drifted back to Lewis, who looked as if he was about to launch himself at me again. But he wouldn’t go through Natalie.
I slowly got to my feet again. My chest was heaving, and I brushed at my split lip with the back of my hand, wiping the blood away.
“Can we
act civilized instead of like fucking animals?” she yelled at the both of us.
Personally, I had no idea how she wasn’t pummeling Lewis herself. She had gone from hysterics and hyperventilating to this in a pretty quick span. I knew that she wasn’t okay. That all of this would hit her like a freight train once she was alone, but damn, she was fierce.
“Sure,” I spat out.
Lewis held his hand up. “You call fucking him behind my back civilized?”
“Don’t fucking talk to her like that,” I snarled. She might be cool, but I wasn’t.
Her eyes narrowed at Lewis’s condescending tone. “You have no idea what this is about.”
But Lewis was already looking at me again. “This is a new low for you.”
I stepped forward, drifting into Natalie’s personal space. I wanted to get her away from him. His anger was directed at me, but it could shift in a split second. And it’d burn white hot before she’d even get a chance to call him out on his bullshit.
“Is it really though?” I asked with a laugh. I put my arm around Natalie, sliding her out from between us and to my side. “I told you that I’d do what was best for her. You just didn’t realize that we differed in what that meant.”
“Penn, stop it,” Natalie growled. She shook me off. “This is my fight.”
I didn’t listen to her. This had been a long time coming. A long fucking time. Longer than she probably even realized.
My friendship with Lewis had always been a tenuous thing. It had been built on secrets and competition. Loyalty born of the fact that we both knew enough to bury the other, but the fight would be to the death if either of us ever tried. It wasn’t a real friendship. And I’d known that the minute he went after Natalie.
“Lewis knows that the fault belongs with me,” I said.
Lewis’s eyes swept to hers. I could read the desperation there. And he didn’t even know what she knew yet. “He used you again, Natalie. Manipulated you into this.”
Natalie huffed when I cut off her response, “It’s too hard to recognize that she wants me and not you? You didn’t see that all along?”