by Lori Wick
Playing first with his tie and then his beard, Laura entertained him for the next hour, all the time talking to him in not-quite-recognizable English. When he asked her age, three little fingers went proudly into the air. Laura’s head had just dropped onto Silas’ chest when her mother awoke. Silas would have liked to prevent the frantic look he saw in her eyes before spotting her daughter, but he didn’t want to move and wake Laura. He assured her in a quiet voice that Laura was fine where she was and, after giving Silas a grateful smile, the young mother settled back in her seat to feed the baby.
With all of the thoughts Frank Chambers had put into his head, Silas, strangely enough, found his thoughts turning to the child in his lap—not specifically Laura, but children in general. Silas had two nieces and three nephews whom he adored. But lately it was not enough. He had begun to ache for a home of his own, with a wife and children to fill his heart and life.
He even knew the exact place he would build his house. It was not far from Luke and Christine’s, and the group of big oaks that stood on that spot would give a feeling of privacy to both homes. He and Luke had talked about it just last month. Luke had been all for it as long as Silas didn’t feel as though he and Christine no longer wanted him with them. Silas had assured him this was not the case.
Now Silas’ thoughts turned to Chicago and the job with Frank Chambers. It would save him the cost of building a home. Frank had a two-bedroom cottage not far from the main house and had said the rent would be a part of Silas’ salary.
Silas shook his head as though trying to clear it, and Laura stirred. She sat up and spoke a few words to him before noticing her mother was awake. Silas’ lap was deserted quickly and he once again settled in for a nap.
The remainder of the trip was uneventful, and Silas was relieved to step onto the platform at Baxter. Greetings from townsfolk enveloped him as he made his way to the livery. As planned, Luke had left a horse for him. Within a half hour of leaving the train station, Silas was headed to the ranch.
As he rode through the familiar surroundings, Silas couldn’t help asking himself, “Could I actually leave all this?” Baxter was the only home Silas had ever known.
The ranch hadn’t changed in two weeks, although Silas halfway expected it would because it seemed to him he’d been gone forever.
No one came out as he rode up, and it was so quiet he wondered if anyone was home. He wished for an instant that he’d stopped at Grandma Em’s. Maybe everyone was there.
The smells were familiar as he stepped into the front room. He smiled. The aroma of whatever pie Christine had served for lunch still lingered in the air. Home. Silas couldn’t believe it felt so good. As he quietly closed the door behind him, he called out, “Anybody home?”
3
Barely finishing a piece of pie and cup of coffee, Silas began answering questions. Luke and Christine wanted to know everything. Their first questions were about Paul, the youngest brother in the Cameron family, who was at seminary in Chicago.
Silas, understanding their concern for the brother they missed so much and saw so little of, started right in.
“Paul is great. He misses everyone but loves school. He fills a different pulpit in the area nearly every week. He also told me that as much as he loves his studies, there is no feeling in the world like that of preaching a sermon. I couldn’t believe how excited he was.”
“Do you think he’ll take a church in the Chicago area when he graduates?” Christine wanted to know.
“Somehow I don’t think he will. He’s still too much in love with small-town life. But then again, he said this weekend that God has been teaching him a lot about surrendering his will to God’s. His most fervent prayer is that he, Paul Cameron, will be God’s man for the job.”
“When does he think he’ll be home again?” Luke couldn’t keep the wistfulness out of his voice. It seemed like forever since he had sat down and talked with his youngest brother.
Silas looked apologetic as he answered. “I wouldn’t watch for him until sometime this summer.”
Further conversation was interrupted by a small cry from the direction of the bedroom. When Christine rose, Silas stopped her. “Sit down, Christine. I’ve been waiting patiently for that sound since I walked in the door. I need to see my little Josh.” Silas threw a beaming smile at Luke and Christine before moving to get his nephew.
Joshua Cameron always had a smile for his Uncle Silas. Always, that is, except for today. Silas scooped him off his parents’ bed to hug and kiss him hello, but Joshua just stared at the bearded face above him. Silas was not too surprised when Joshua’s little arms reached for Christine as soon as he saw her.
Completely unoffended, Silas headed for the piano. He played a few quick notes and then held his arms out to his nephew. Joshua’s smile was his reward and soon both were seated in their usual positions on the piano bench.
Completely hemmed in, Joshua was snuggled onto the piano bench with Silas’ stomach at his back, the keyboard at his front, and Silas’ arms stretched out on either side to reach the keys.
Silas never played from sheet music while Joshua was in his lap. He watched the little hands pound the keys in front of him or reach to the hands so much bigger than his own as they moved over the keys. If Joshua was especially tired, he would simply lay back against Silas and listen. Not so today. Fully revived from his nap, Joshua was ready to go.
The remainder of the afternoon flew by as Silas settled back into his home. When Joshua had been put to bed, Silas brought up to Luke and Christine the offer from Frank Chambers. They were as stunned as he had been. Christine had to bite her tongue to keep from coming right out and telling Silas he simply couldn’t go. They talked for some time and Silas told them honestly he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do.
Knowing it would be best to sleep on it and do some more thinking and praying, Silas retired early. As he lay waiting for sleep to come, he knew he wanted God’s will. But if he were completely honest, he also knew he hated to leave home, even for a short time. Coming home just felt so right. He asked God before he slept, if submitting to His will meant changing homes, would it ever feel as right as this one did?
The next day was Sunday and Silas awoke looking forward to church and then lunch with the family. He wanted very much to share the news of the job offer with the rest of the family and to ask for their advice and prayers. But as it was, the subject never came up.
Pastor Nolan had finished the closing prayer, but before dismissing the congregation, he spoke again. “Before I dismiss you this morning I would ask a few minutes of your time. Our niece Amy has written us to say that my brother has broken his leg.” He paused as a ripple of murmurs moved across the room. “As most of you know, my brother has a farm in Neillsville where I grew up. I would ask for your prayers for Grant and Amy. A farmer’s schedule does not allow for being laid up like this. I’m writing them tomorrow, and I’d like to tell them you are praying.”
When the service was dismissed, Silas had to wait his turn to talk with the pastor. The men shook hands for a long moment before speaking, giving Silas time to see the lines of strain around the older man’s eyes and mouth.
“I’m sure you know why I stayed to talk with you. Would I be out of line to ask if you can share more with me than you did from the pulpit?”
“It would be a relief to talk with you, Silas. Just let me see the rest of these folks out and I’ll be right with you.”
Silas was seated back in a pew but a few minutes when Mrs. Nolan joined him. “Thank you for staying, Silas.”
“You know I’ll do all I can.” She met his assurance with a nod and they waited for the pastor in silence. When Pastor Nolan was finally seated, a conversation seasoned with the warmth of time began.
“The letter from Amy came yesterday. She wrote that Grant fell from a ladder and broke his leg. She also writes that the doctor has given him medicine for the pain and that he is completely bedridden. They haven’t even started the
planting. The letter went on to say that Amy is doing all the milking and she will be pulling money from their savings to pay for some help with the fields.” Silas could hear the worry in Pastor Nolan’s voice.
“Where is Evan?” Silas’ voice was a bit angered.
“Nothing has changed with Evan. He never goes to the farm or anywhere near Grant. It’s been four years. I have my doubts as to whether he’ll ever get over Maureen’s death. He’s never said, but it’s obvious he blames my brother for his sister’s death.”
They sat in silence for some minutes before Silas spoke. “When you write, tell them I’m coming.”
“Are you sure, Silas? You’ve only just returned.” The pastor’s voice held genuine concern, but his eyes were hopeful.
“I’m sure.” Silas spoke in a firm voice and in short order explained his plans and was on his way to see his family for the first time in two weeks, his heart a bit heavy at having to tell them he was leaving again.
4
Walking to Grandma Em’s house from the church stirred up a bittersweet feeling in Silas. He knew that before the next Sunday dawned in Baxter, he would be on a small farm in Neillsville, Wisconsin, some 85 miles from his home.
As Silas walked up Grandma Em’s street, he savored the approaching spring. It was his favorite time of year. He liked to pray for new growth in his own life as he watched the flowers come alive and the trees sprout new leaves. The weather was a bit chilly and the new growth really hadn’t started yet, but there was a feeling of anticipation in the air, as though the plants and trees themselves knew something was about to happen.
Silas reflected a bit on the family with whom he was going to stay. Grant and Amy Nolan. Four years ago, upon the request of Pastor Nolan, Silas had gone to help Grant with his fall harvesting. Grant’s wife, Maureen, had died suddenly and both Grant and his 14-year-old daughter, Amy, were in shock.
Amy. Silas smiled. The sweetest little girl Silas had ever met. Not demonstrative and very quiet, she had grieved silently, keeping to herself in a way that was heartbreaking. She had not spoken over five words to Silas the first week he was there. But in time the ice had melted and they became close, despite the 10 years difference in their ages.
They had not corresponded through the years, but Silas had kept abreast of the family through Mrs. Nolan. Grant had not remarried and Amy had been engaged but that was off now. She would be 18 now—a grown woman. Silas found himself hoping, as he climbed the steps to Grandma Em’s front porch, that Amy would be as sweet as he remembered.
Sunday dinner was on the table and Mac had just prayed when Silas opened the front door. There was a round of hugs and kisses before everyone settled back down to the meal.
Silas had been all set to tell his family about his plans, but he was sitting next to his niece Emily, and she didn’t let him get in a syllable. She questioned him thoroughly about Paul and then moved on to the horses.
“Did you get horses?”
“I sure did.”
“What color are they? Can I ride one?”
Silas wasn’t going to touch that one. He shot a look to Emily’s mother, Susanne, but all she did was smile at him. No help there. A glance back at Emily told him she was awaiting his answer. Her eyes turned to him with hopeful anticipation. He knew he had to tell her the truth.
“I can’t promise you a ride right now, sweetheart, because I have to go away again.” As Silas expected, this statement captured everyone’s attention. He might have been surprised to find out they had suspected this when, after church, he’d told Luke to take the buggy and that he’d walk to Grandma Em’s.
“When do you leave?” The question was directed to him by his grandmother. He met her understanding eyes before looking at Luke to answer. “I was hoping Friday, but Luke and I have yet to talk.”
Luke nodded and the meal progressed. The subject of Silas’ departure was dropped, everyone realizing that Silas and Luke would have to talk this out on their own.
The front porch ended up hosting the conversation between the brothers. Luke’s twin brother, Mark, and Mac were also present. Silas told them the added information Pastor Nolan had relayed, and concern was evident on every man’s face for the trials of this family.
“How long do you expect to be gone?” Luke’s question was matter-of-fact, knowing Silas’ decision to go was already firmly planted in his mind.
“I could tell you a couple of weeks, but that’s what I said last time and was gone for six.” Silas was on the verge of saying more, but Luke cut in. “Actually, Si, I don’t know why I ask you. I think your decision to go is just exactly that—your decision. I also know you have not made this decision lightly. I know we’ll miss you, but we’ll manage.”
“I was thinking the same thing,” Mark spoke now. “Why wait until Friday? The Nolans need you right now and we can help at the ranch whenever Luke gets into a bind, unlikely as that is.”
Silas felt great relief at how supportive his family had been, until his sister-in-law Christine appeared. One look at the men on the porch told Christine the matter was all settled.
“Just like that. It’s all settled isn’t it?” No one said a word. “You’ve only just returned and you’re leaving again.” Her voice was not angry—resigned and sad, but not angry. “Well,” Christine’s voice had changed to determination just that fast, “if you don’t write to us at least once a week, don’t bother to come home.”
The tension was broken at this and Silas moved to give Christine a hug, thinking as he did, what a relief it was to be leaving with his family’s blessing.
5
“Did you write to Frank?” The question came from Luke as he and Silas headed toward the train station.
“Yes, I wrote. But if I know Frank, he’ll not accept my answer.”
Luke asked no more, fairly certain what Silas’ answer had been. The train was a bit late, giving the men some time to talk. Silas seemed a bit edgy, and Luke couldn’t keep from commenting on it. “Is anything bothering you, Si?”
Silas’ answer did not come immediately. He was feeling very unsure of what he would find once he got to Neillsville, and he didn’t want to burden Luke. In an instant he decided against it. “I’m just thinking ahead about my trip to the farm. I’ve got a long day ahead of me.” All of which was true.
Luke noticed the evasive answer but only said, “I hear the train. Be sure you write or I’ll be hearing from Christine. She really is in a stew over this. When she found out Grant Nolan had an 18-year-old daughter, I got the third degree.”
Silas laughed in delight at this. “She can certainly be the mother hen at times, can’t she?”
“Oh, Si, if she ever heard you say that…well, I hate to even think of the tongue-lashing we would both get.”
Silas agreed with him. While the men shared a laugh, the train pulled in and they stood. Luke opened his mouth to say good-bye, but Silas interrupted. “About your question, Luke. I’m not sure what I’ll find in Neillsville, and it’s troubling me. Will you please just pray?”
“Every day,” Luke answered with assurance and, as he stood on the platform watching the train become a dot in the distance, he began right then to keep his word.
Silas, on the other hand, was not at all prayerful. Indeed, he was very tense. He attempted to empty his mind of all thought, but he failed miserably. His mind kept returning to the young woman at the end of his journey: Amy.
Silas settled back in his seat and gave in to the desire he had felt ever since Pastor Nolan spoke on Sunday, trying to picture in his mind what Amy was like now.
She had been rather coltish at 14. A bit on the awkward side, as if she were not sure what to do with all her limbs. Awkward, that is, until she sat at the piano. Silas had been mystified the first time he’d heard her play. Silas played piano and his family thought he was the best, but they’d never heard Amy Nolan. The keys somehow came alive under her small hands. And her face—it positively glowed while she played.
&n
bsp; She was gifted, there was no doubt about that. At 28 years of age, Silas had listened to his share of pianists and he knew Amy was in a class all her own.
Silas had learned to play piano at his mother’s knee—the only one of five Cameron children to show a genuine interest. Being able to play the piano that his mother had taught him on somehow helped ease the pain of losing her. Kathrine Cameron’s deep love for music was transmitted to Silas through those times of practice and play.
For a short time right after her death, Silas had not played at all, out of consideration for his father. He could tell that hearing the piano pained his father greatly.
When the house was empty one afternoon, Silas sat down and played some of his favorite hymns. He had played along in a bittersweet state for nearly 30 minutes when he looked up to see his father watching him. Silas could only guess how long he’d been there.
Silas bolted from the piano bench, stumbling through an apology as he straightened the music sheets with shaky hands. His panicky movements and words came to a halt as his father started toward him.
Silently, Joseph reached for the sheets of music. He looked through them slowly before placing a single sheet back on the music rest. A quick glance told Silas it was one of his mother’s favorites. “Play this one, Si. Play it the way your mother taught you.” He gave Silas’ shoulder a pat and moved to take a nearby chair. Before he finished the song, the entire family had gathered. One by one they entered the room, no one bothering to disguise the sound of sniffling noses. Silas barely made it through the piece.
Silas played regularly after that. The keys beneath his fingers felt like a balm applied directly to his soul.
Amy also had learned piano from her mother, but there had not been the same comfort for her. Silas had been in the Nolan home for over two weeks when, after supper one night, Grant asked Amy if she felt like playing. Silas hated the shy way she looked at him before telling her father no. He did not want to make her feel uncomfortable.