by Kate, Jiffy
The worry is now combined with fear. I can hear it in his voice and it breaks me a little. Ross is such a confident person and even in his most vulnerable moments, I’ve never seen this side of him.
This raw, unfiltered version who has no clue what to do.
But it’s endearing and it surprisingly makes me feel less alone, like I’m not the only one on this ride who’s holding on for dear life.
“I’m okay,” I tell him as the nausea begins to pass. Sitting back on my heels, I accept the warm washcloth and wipe my mouth, taking a deep, cleansing breath. “You don’t have to do this… it’s not a big deal, totally normal… and—”
“Casey,” Ross says, warning in his tone. He lets my hair go and turns so he’s sitting with his back against the wall.
“Ross,” I fire back, finally turning to look at him and suddenly I’m hit with an onslaught of unwelcome feelings—fear, uncertainty, guilt. I hate them all, but they’re here. I thought it would get better once I told him, but now that I have, I’m not so sure there’s not an entire new set of problems coming our way. “You don’t have to rearrange your life for me. Neither one of us planned this or asked for this… I don’t expect you to jump into the role of expecting father… father-to-be… whatever they call it.”
I sigh, sitting down and leaning against the opposing wall, our knees touching.
“What are we doing?” I ask, picking at the edge of my t-shirt. As perfect as Ross has been, I know this can’t last forever. At some point, the bubble we’ve been in for the past twelve hours will be popped.
Ross sighs and I think he’s starting to realize the same thing. I can see it on his face. The realness of the situation is sinking in and he has to be wondering what the heck is happening.
“We’re going to take it a day at a time,” he says, sounding very much the strong, dependable guy I’ve always known him to be. When he reaches out and takes my hand, linking our fingers together, I swallow down the lump forming in my throat.
“You never even asked me if I was sure this baby is yours.” It’s barely above a whisper, but it’s one of the loudest thoughts in my head. For some reason, deep in the recesses of my mind, I thought Ross might ask for proof this baby is his. I mean, he is Ross Davies and I’m sure there are plenty of women in this town alone who would like to get knocked up by him and trap him in a relationship.
My pulse begins to race as my heart hammers in my chest.
He pulls on my hand, urging me to look at him. “Hey, that never crossed my mind. Okay? I know you, Casey, and I know you’d never do anything like that. So, that’s one thing we can just get out of the way and never talk about again.”
“Before you, I hadn’t been with anyone in over six months,” I tell him, feeling the need to bare my soul. “I’ve only had three sexual partners, you make four. I’m no saint, but I’ve definitely never slept around. Even though this wasn’t planned, I’ve wanted this baby from the first moment I knew it existed. But I understand things might be different for you and I’d never want you to feel trapped or like you have to do something you don’t want to, so don’t feel like that okay? And if me living in your guest house is too weird, I can find somewhere else to live.”
Swallowing, I take a deep breath and try to keep the tears away. They just come at any time nowadays and it’s so annoying.
“Are you done?” Ross asks, his face stoic.
I nod. “Yeah, I guess that’s it for now.”
“Okay,” he says, clearing his throat. “You know what I’ve been doing with the last eight years of my life. Regardless of what you hear any gossip column or tabloid say, I was always monogamous. There hasn’t been anyone since Felicia.”
At that, my back goes stiff and I feel like my entire body is on high alert.
Did he just say what I think he said?
I was his first since his divorce?
“And even though this wasn’t planned and has definitely shocked the shit out of me, I also want this baby,” he continues, nodding his head as his gaze drifts off. “Something you might not know about me is I’ve always wanted kids. In the beginning, it was something Felicia and I agreed on. We talked about it before I ever proposed, but as time went on, her feelings on the subject changed.”
He pauses and I steal glances at his gorgeous side profile, wondering what woman wouldn’t want to have babies with this man?
She has to be crazy.
“One other thing I’d like to clear up is how I feel about you.”
He turns to look at me, those green eyes staring straight into my soul.
“Just so you know, I was crazy about you before I knew you were carrying my baby.”
We just sit there for the longest time—Ross stroking his thumb across my hand, me getting lost in his eyes—before he leans over and pulls an envelope from the counter.
“Want to show me the baby?”
I nod, taking the envelope from him and opening it, pulling out the four grainy black and white photos. Looking down at the tiny blob, I can’t help the smile on my face. It’s the one where you can see the tiny arms and legs.
“I call it Peanut,” I tell him.
Ross is quiet as he holds the picture. I expect questions or comments, but there’s nothing, only radio silence.
Just when I think he’s getting ready to freak out on me, I see him swallow and then clear his throat. When he reaches up and presses his thumb and forefinger to the corners of his eyes, I realize he’s crying… or trying not to.
“Did you have a big head when you were a baby?” I ask, handing him another photo that’s of mostly the baby’s head. It looks huge, which is normal. I looked it up.
He finally chuckles, and I feel like I can breathe again.
“I did, actually,” he says, looking up at me with tears in his eyes. “My mom said she had to buy me those little shirts with the snaps on the collar so she could get them over my gigantic head.”
“Oh, God,” I say, pressing a hand to my lips.
Just thinking about the end game of pushing a baby out of my hooha makes me cringe.
“But I bet this baby is going to have a perfectly normal sized head,” he says, obviously recognizing the pure, unadulterated fear in my eyes.
He looks at all the photos and then looks at them again. Occasionally he looks over at me and I can’t say exactly what I see, but at least he’s not running for the hills and he’s happy. Everything else will work itself out, or at least I have to believe it will.
“Can we not tell anyone for a while?” I ask.
“You haven’t told anyone?”
I shake my head. “No, not even Charlotte.”
“Okay,” he says, handing me the photos back and watching as I put them back into the envelope for safekeeping. “I’ll follow your lead… If you want me to make a statement at some point and get ahead of the media, I can do that.”
I feel the blood drain from my face at the thought of the whole world knowing I’m pregnant with Ross Davies’ baby.
“Or we can send you to a convent or something so you can have the baby in secret.”
My eyes grow wide and just when I think he might be serious, he laughs. “Kidding,” he says, his green eyes twinkling. “But you should’ve seen the look on your face.”
“I’m not sure what scares me more—nuns or fangirls.”
He laughs again and then stands, offering me his hand.
“We’ll figure this out,” he says, pulling me close and wrapping his big, strong arms around me.
It’s then, as I’m tucked close to him—blocking out the rest of the world—I remember something else I can show him, something that will make this a little more real for him… at least it did for me.
“Want to hear the heartbeat?” I ask. “I just remembered I have a video saved to my phone.”
Ross sweeps me off my feet and carries me into the kitchen, placing me on the island before grabbing my phone and handing it to me.
He looks like a kid on C
hristmas morning and I’m holding his more prized gift.
I guess that’s a yes.
Chapter 21
Ross
“Fuck,” I mutter as my curveball goes wide and draws a fourth ball. The batter takes his place on first base, which gives me a few seconds to center myself and try to get my shit together.
I don’t know what’s going on but this has been my worst pitched game since the beginning of the season and we’re only in the fifth inning. Typically, I’m good to go for a full seven but if I keep throwing trash like this, I won’t finish the inning.
When I turn and face the next batter, Perez, I see Mack’s fist pound his knee twice as he squats into position. That’s his sign for “focus, asshole”. Pulling the brim of my cap down to signal I heard him loud and clear, I zero in on my target and wait for Mack to call the next pitch. He wants me to greet Perez with my fastball, so I nod my head then, let the ball fly.
Thankfully, the pitch does its job—a strike down the middle.
The second pitch, though, zips close enough to Perez’s shoulder that he has to jump out of the way to avoid being hit. The crowd immediately starts booing and I don’t blame them one bit. For a second, I wonder how Casey is reacting. She didn’t feel up to being here tonight but I hope she’s still watching on TV. Then again, maybe I don’t.
Glancing up to home plate, I see Mack coming for me, which means my time is almost up if I don’t get these next two outs soon.
“Dude, what the hell is going on?”
Hiding my mouth behind my glove, I answer, “I don’t fucking know but I’m working on it.”
“Well, work harder so we can get off the field.” He starts to walk away but pauses, glancing back to me. “And this better not be about your new lady-friend, either. Keep that shit at home.”
Before I can respond, Mack takes off jogging back behind the plate. I don’t like him putting the blame on Casey in any way but he’s right about me needing to get my head in the game so we can finish this.
I wait for his next sign then throw my pitch. This time, my expletive is loud and clear as I stand helplessly, watching the ball being crushed out of the park and into the stands behind me.
That’s the third home run I’ve allowed in this game and when I see Buddy coming my way, I know I’m done.
Thankfully, we end up scraping by to win, no thanks to me. The bullpen deserves that win.
I avoid everyone I can after the game and head straight for the showers.
I don’t need advice and I sure as hell don’t want any pep talks.
I just want to be home.
With Casey.
We’ve fallen into a pretty great routine lately and I miss her when I’m not home. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the two of us having a baby but regardless, it’s happening and I’ll be by her side for every step.
It’s a relief when I make it to my car with minimal interactions from my teammates but it’s an even bigger one when I step inside my living room and see Casey sleeping on the couch. Again. She’s always tired, thanks to the pregnancy, but I don’t mind. I think it’s fucking adorable, especially when I find her sleeping in unexpected places.
Yesterday, I found her in my game room, passed out with the TV on and the video game controller still in her hand. She’d been playing Call of Duty and not gonna lie, I think I fell a little in love with her in that moment.
I have to remind myself it’s way too soon to be having thoughts like that but when I kneel down beside her and gently brush the hair off her gorgeous face, I know it’d be so easy to love her.
But I can’t rush things.
There are just too many variables, things that could change in an instant.
I’m not an idiot. The fact Casey holds all the power here is very evident. And even though I trust her, there’s still a nagging voice in my head. It’s constantly reminding me that she could leave tomorrow—just walk out like Felicia did—and I’d be left picking up the pieces all over again.
We’ve both avoided having any kind of real conversation about us and our future. For all I know, she doesn’t want a real relationship with me. Do I want one with her? I think I do but things are happening so fast. And, yet, we haven’t even been on a fucking date.
How do you woo someone you’ve already knocked up?
Casey rolls onto her side, facing me, and opens her eyes. She doesn’t seem startled or surprised to see me watching her so closely, just… happy.
“Off game, huh?” Her voice is raspy and sexy as hell.
I nod my head in response while picking up a section of her long hair and letting the strands glide through my fingers.
“Want to talk about it?” she asks.
“No, I want to talk about you. How are you feeling?”
“Well, I didn’t throw up today, so I’d say I’m pretty great.” I watch as she sits up and stretches her arms above her head. I don’t think she realizes how sexy she is, which only makes her more attractive. “Sit with me,” she beckons, holding her hand out to me.
I follow her command and as soon as I’m settled on the couch, Casey straddles my lap. This seems to be a favorite position of hers and you’ll never hear me complain.
No fucking way.
“I’m sorry the game didn’t go well.” My eyes close but it’s not because of her words. Her fingers have found their way into my hair and are currently massaging my scalp. If I was a cat, I’d be fucking purring. “Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”
“You’re doing it,” I say with a groan. I had no idea how good being touched like this could feel.
“Surely, there’s something else I can do for you,” Casey murmurs before leaning forward and sucking my earlobe into her mouth.
My eyes fly open and find her watching me. She’s as full of desire as I now feel.
“Case—” I start but I honestly don’t know what to say. All I know is I want her right here, right now. In any way she wants me.
“Shhh,” she whispers, her voice deep and husky. “Let me take care of you.”
She tugs at my t-shirt and I sit up and help her remove it. As soon as I lean back, her lips are on me, kissing my mouth before traveling down my neck and stopping at my nipples. Before Casey, I never realized a guy’s nipples can be as sensitive as a woman’s but now, it’s one of my favorite forms of foreplay. When her teeth graze my sensitive skin, my hips buck, thrusting my hardening cock against her body. Not one to rush, she lazily kisses her way to my other nipple and swirls her tongue around it.
How can she be so calm right now when I need her like I need my next breath?
“I want you,” I grunt.
“I want you, too,” she says, unbuckling my belt and slipping the leather out of the loops before throwing it on the floor. “In my mouth.”
Oh, hell yes.
Casey slides onto the floor in front of me, pulling my jeans and boxer briefs down at the same time. My dick is standing at full attention now and when she grasps it firmly while licking her lips, it twitches in her hand. I start to chuckle but quickly swallow it when I feel Casey’s tongue lap at my tip.
She licks down my shaft and back up again and it’s the best kind of torture as I wait for her to take me in completely. She doesn’t make me wait for long, thank God, and I let out a deep moan when she wraps her mouth around me and slides all the way down.
I slide my fingers through her long hair, keeping it out of her face while allowing her to set and keep her own pace. After she pumps me in and out of her mouth a few times, I’m surprised when she pulls my dick out all the way.
“I need to be naked. Like, right now,” she explains.
I gladly help her out of her dress and am thrilled to discover she’s not wearing a bra. My hand reaches out and cups one of her breasts before bending down and sucking a firm nipple into my mouth. Casey gasps before admonishing me. “Oh, no, you don’t. It’s still my turn.”
Chuckling, I hold my hands up in surrender
and allow her to pick up where she left off.
She sucks me more eagerly now and I absolutely love watching her go down on me. I’m so close to coming but when I see her slip her hand into her panties, I pull myself out of her mouth.
“What’s wrong?” she asks.
“As much I love watching you get me off while touching yourself,” I say, standing her up and sliding her panties off. “I need to be inside you.”
When I guide her back to my lap, she wastes no time sliding me into her wet heat and it takes every ounce of strength I have not to come on contact.
“Damn, baby. You’re so wet. Did you get that wet just from sucking my cock?”
“Yes,” she says on an exhale, a look of relief covering her face as we’re finally connected the way we’re supposed to be. “I’ve been thinking about doing this all day. I love having you in my mouth but I love this even more.” She bounces on my lap a few times, tilting her head back in pleasure before looking back up at me. “I want you on top, though.”
“Say no more.” I immediately roll her onto her back, raising one of her legs and draping it over my shoulder. I love how she’s not afraid to tell me what she wants and the fact she’s been thinking about this...wanting this, me, all day has me burning for her.
“Mmm, that’s it. I love to feel your weight on me.” Her pussy clenches around me and I begin to thrust. When I’m inside Casey like this, it’s as though the rest of the world doesn’t exist. All that matters is us, our connection, and how we make each other feel.
And we feel fucking amazing.
Too soon, we’re both gasping and clutching each other tightly as our orgasms take over, leaving us sweaty, sticky, and sated.
Chapter 22
Casey
“Stop pacing,” Ross says for the fifth time in the last five minutes.
Halting my steps in front of the large window in his living room, I mutter, “I can’t.”