But his was yet to come. I felt every muscle in his back tighten and tense. He buried his face in my hair and let out a long deep groan as he buried his cock completely inside me. "Fuck…"
We lay there silently for a long time, still joined together on that conference table as the sounds of the nightclub outside his office began to once again drift in to where we'd just had sex for the first time. It felt secret and sexy. When Cash raised his head, he licked his lips and kissed me, making me feel sexy too.
"Olivia, that was incredible."
I couldn't put my finger on it, but something in the way he said that made me feel open and self-conscious. Forcing a smile, I nodded, hoping he couldn't see my insecurities rearing their ugly heads. Nothing was unsexier than looking needy after sex. Letting my hands drop from their hold on his back, I forced myself to sound confident. "It was."
He slid out of me, and a feeling of emptiness joined my insecurities. I knew it was foolish. What had I expected—the two of us lying there for hours in each other's arms as we drifted off to sleep? We'd just fucked on the table in the Club X conference room. Cuddling wasn't on the menu.
I stood to put my dress back on as he slipped back into his clothes. Watching him, I took in the last sight of his beautiful body, sad to see it covered up with his dress shirt and pants. Unsure of what to say as we finished dressing, I fidgeted with my shoes to avoid feeling any more awkward.
Cash seemed entirely at home with this part of the night, though. Adjusting the knot in his tie, he once again did that brushing off movement he'd done earlier and then looked up at me. "You were incredible, Olivia."
Two mentions of that word made me certain I'd been anything but that, but he pulled me into him and kissed me full on the lips and my insecurities disappeared, at least for the moment.
"I promise I won't act strange tomorrow. I'll be the same stiff Cassian March I've always been."
"Well, you have a reputation to keep."
He laughed at my joke, but I'd subconsciously been referring to his other reputation that now seemed to take up so much of my mind. Cash dated the most beautiful women in town, and undoubtedly, he slept with them too. As he escorted me out to his office, that's all I could think about. Yes, I'd gone into this whole thing with him with my eyes wide open, but now I didn't want to go back to being simply his assistant.
I tried to read his expression to see if he felt anything for me, but there was nothing but that cool man who was all business in front of me now. He kissed me again, soft but without all that passion that had been in his kiss before, and told me he'd see me the next day. We parted ways, boss and assistant once again, no matter how much I wished that wasn't all we were.
13
Cassian
I watched Olivia walk out into the nightclub looking sexier than any woman should without a man on her arm. I should have stopped her or taken her home, but I was already regretting having sex with her. Whatever was happening between us couldn't happen, no matter how much I wished it could. I'd thought I'd avoided going any further with her when I left Kane to deal with her. It was a shitty thing to do, but my ego was making the decisions then.
Too fucking bad my ego hadn't stayed in control. Instead, my heart thought it should weigh in on the issue of Olivia and what had just happened proved there would be no fucking her out of my system.
This couldn't happen.
I ran my hand through my hair before I headed out into the club for a drink. Tonight definitely called for a stiff one. Stopping at the end of the bar, I raised my hand to call one of the bartenders over. A tiny blonde, she leaned over to hear my order over the music and give me a full view of her tits. I had to assume Stefan's workers thought this was some way to ensure job security since they acted like this every time I came out into the club for a drink.
"Give me a Makers, neat."
The blonde answered with something I couldn't hear and a smile, and I was thankful the music was so loud. I wasn't in the mood for her thing tonight.
From behind me I heard, "Hey, Cash! I didn't realize you were still here." Stefan. I thought about not answering him, but there was no point in ignoring him. He'd just keep talking. Turning around, I saw him wearing a shit-eating grin and instantly the thought ran through my mind that he'd seen Olivia and me together.
"What's up, Stefan?"
"What are you doing here? I thought you were going home early tonight. Kane mentioned something about it, so I figured you were gone already."
The blonde returned with my drink, and grabbing it, I took a gulp and pressed a smile onto my face. "Just leaving."
"Hey, I thought I saw Olivia leaving a few minutes ago. Maybe you should take it easy on her. Don't want to ride her too hard."
"I have no idea. I didn't see her since this afternoon."
I watched Stefan's expression for any evidence that he knew I was lying, but the blond bartender had caught his eye and he set off to likely cost us more money in legal fees. It was time for me to leave. The club had nothing to offer me other than work, and I wouldn't be able to concentrate much anyway.
* * *
By Wednesday, I'd avoided the club for two days and worked from home, even blowing off a charity function for the new bayside park because I just didn't have any interest in seeing the same people as always who traveled the circuit. They'd gotten my check, so it wasn't like the important part of me hadn't shown up.
Standing in front of my window overlooking the bay, I looked out at the action taking place at the end of the day I never saw from my office at the club. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I was avoiding Olivia. The sex had been great. No, great was the wrong word for it. I hadn't enjoyed fucking a woman like that in a long time. Something in the way she'd shed her inhibitions so willingly charmed me. The physical feeling had been off the charts incredible, but even more the emotional connection had made it one of the best nights I'd ever had with a woman.
That was the problem. If all we were was good sex, I'd have been back at work bright and early Tuesday morning at eleven and planning for the next time she and I could revisit that conference room table. I'd be planning on how to wine and dine her around town to get her back to my bed whenever I wanted her. That routine I knew well. Fuck, I'd mastered that routine. Sex meant a connection between my cock and a woman's cunt. No more, no less. Emotions had nothing to do with it. I'd made sure of that since Rachel.
This thing with Olivia smashed all my nonchalant ideas about sex to pieces and left me with no way to know what to do with her. I'd promised myself never to let another woman get close to me again after what happened with Rachel, and now some part of me whispered quietly in my brain that this woman was worth a chance.
My mind went back to the moment I became the man who wanted nothing to do with truly being with a woman again. I remembered it like it happened yesterday. Even now, years later, the events of that night were as vivid and real to me as if I was experiencing them today.
Rachel stood beside me as the line of people filing into the club moved past us, thrilled to be a part of the biggest night all year at Club X—the Halloween Ball, known throughout west Florida as the wildest party around. Nobody did Halloween raunchier or more debauched than my club. I turned to slide my arm around her, the woman I adored as my wife and who tonight was dressed as the sexiest cat I'd ever seen.
But everything about her was the sexiest I'd ever seen. Just a few years older, Rachel had schooled me in so many things about women, and I'd fallen hard and fast for her. I woke every morning more in love than the day before, and as I ended each day deep inside her, I would have given up everything I owned with just a word from her gorgeous mouth.
I was as lost as any man had ever been for a woman he loved.
"Cash, let's go join your brothers at the bar. You don't have to be at the door to greet your customers and the party's about to get started."
Her wish was my command, so we walked over to stand next to Stefan and Kane, my arm instincti
vely wrapping around her waist as we stopped in front of them. My younger brother was all compliments for her cat costume, and Rachel lapped them up like a kitten with a saucer of milk. Twirling out of my hold, she showed him her tail, shaking her gorgeous ass for him so he could see it move.
"Isn't this costume adorable?" she cooed.
Kane looked away, interested more in the crowd and his job upstairs than my wife. Never his type, they tolerated each other more than anything else. Kane preferred a far more submissive female, something Rachel definitely wasn't. Stefan, on the other hand, enjoyed all women, without exception. To say he didn't discriminate would be an understatement.
Rachel backed up toward Stefan and said, "Feel it! It's fake fur, but it feels so real."
Shooting me a look, Kane raised his eyebrows as Stefan stroked her long, black tail, pulling it up to tickle her neck. "It does feel real."
I pulled her back next to me and leaned close to her to whisper, "I can't wait to use that tail when we get home."
She turned her back on my brothers and ran her hands over my chest. Smiling up at me, she winked. "That's not all I want you to use when we get home."
When she said things like that, I had to fight the urge to steal her away to my office and make love to her right there on my desk. Looking down into her almost black eyes, I smiled. "Do you know how much I love you?"
I closed my eyes to push the memory of that night from my mind. Fixating on it did no good, so there was no point. I couldn't change what happened.
A knock on the front door tore me from my misery, and I opened it to see Olivia standing there still in her work clothes and staring up at me with big eyes. So much for avoiding her. "What are you doing here?"
"It's nice to see you too, Cash. Can I come in?"
Moving off to the side, I nodded. "Sure. Come in."
She walked past me and began looking around my condo as I closed the door. By the time I'd joined her, she was at the window admiring the view. "This is stunning, Cash! I love this view!"
"It's pretty nice. Definitely one of the selling points when I bought the place."
Turning to face me, she rolled her eyes. "Always so understated. If you saw the view I have, you'd say this was stunning."
I forced a smile and nodded, but there was no denying the tension between us. Olivia was an intelligent woman. She knew I'd been avoiding her. How she'd approach that fact remained to be seen.
A sheepish look crossed her face. "I hope you haven't been sick. I noticed you haven't been in work for the last two days."
"No, I'm fine."
A long lull followed my denial and then she said, "That's good. I'd hate to hear you were under the weather."
She stood there with that sweet look on her face, but I knew we couldn't continue this for much longer. "Would you like to sit down?"
"Sure."
We sat down on the very couch where I'd told Rachel I didn't want to see her anymore. Then I'd been unsure how I felt about Olivia but wanted to explore whatever there was between us. Now I knew how I felt, but I couldn't act on it.
She looked around like she needed to memorize my every inch of my home. "You have a really nice place."
This was even worse than I'd imagined our first conversation after the other night would be. We'd spent some incredible time together, and now we sat there exchanging pleasantries like two people waiting for a bus or stuck in a waiting room at a doctor's office.
"Olivia, what are you doing here?"
Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly and hung her head. "I guess I'm not too slick, am I? I want you to know it took every ounce of courage I possess to come here, so if you're going to tell me you don't even like me enough to talk to me other than at work, I'm not sure I can promise I'm going to handle it well."
I touched my fingertip to her chin to force her to look at me. "I do like you, Olivia, and more than just to talk to you at work."
That smile she so rarely gave me lit up her face. "That's good. I mean, I'm not a fool. I know that the other night probably didn't mean much to you. I know I'm not your usual type of woman you spend time with."
She wasn't wrong. My usual type didn't look like her or act like her, but most of all, they didn't make me feel much of anything. Not that caring about her was any good for either of us. I knew how this would end.
"You're smart and fun, but it's true. You aren't my usual type."
No sooner were the words out of my mouth had I realized I should have said something more romantic. What kind of woman wants to hear she's smart when she's comparing herself physically to other women?
My answer registered on her face in a frown, and she leapt to her feet. "I'm going to leave. This was a mistake. I'm sorry."
I reached out to grab hold of her, but she slid out of my grasp and nearly ran away from me. Chasing after her, I caught her just as she opened the door. Pushing it closed, I tried to find the right words to say. "Don't leave. It's okay."
Still facing the door, she said quietly, "No, it's not okay. I thought that maybe if I came over here you wouldn't want to avoid me anymore. I thought that maybe you liked me like I like you, but the only person doing the liking is me. It's better if I go."
Her voice was so full of sadness that I already regretted every mistake I'd made that had brought me to that point. I didn't want to hurt her. I just couldn't give her what she wanted.
"Olivia, turn around. I want to talk to you."
She sighed and slowly turned around to face me. Staring up at me with big brown eyes so full of fear, she bit her lip nervously. "Okay."
"I liked what happened the other night. I don't want you to think I didn't. But I'm not able to give you what you deserve."
"And what's that?" she asked, her tone defensive.
I struggled to find the right words but then just said the painful truth. "You deserve to be with a man who can at least promise you the future might include something long-term. I can't do that. Not now, anyway."
A look of relief came over her. "That's what you thought? That I wanted you to profess your undying love and commit your life to me? I guess I really do have that good girl thing going on. Cash, I don't expect anything exclusive."
"You don't?"
"No," she said with a smile. "I just hoped we wouldn't have just that one night. I'm not going to deny that I'm definitely attracted to you, and I think you're attracted to me."
She was trying to be brave, but I felt her body tremble. I saw it in her eyes too. She was afraid. Not of me, but at what I might say at any moment to crush all her bravado. I wouldn't do that to her, though. Other women? Yeah. But not Olivia.
I leaned forward to trap her inside my arms. Sliding my thumb over her cheek, I smiled, liking how close we were. "I am definitely attracted to you. I have been since the first day you walked into the club."
"Really?"
Nodding, I tucked her hair behind her ear and dipped my head. "Yeah. Then when Kane told me you'd reserved a room, I decided I'd be the one to be in there with you."
Olivia looked up at me and grinned a sexy smile. "Oh. Was there someone else who was supposed to do that since you're one of the owners, or do you often drop in on female members' fantasies?"
I liked this woman. She was smart and sweet at the same time, and in my experience, those were hard to come by in someone. "Kane wanted to send in one of his guys. I didn't think he was right for the job, though."
"I see." She arched one eyebrow and gave me a skeptical look. "I have to know something. Were you planning to ever sleep with me in that room?"
Shaking my head, I said, "No."
"Oh. Even when I reserved a gold fantasy?"
I pressed my mouth to hers and kissed her. "No. You're too good to fuck in some generic fantasy room."
"So you did plan to sleep with me then?"
I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my lips. "No."
The hurt was evident all over her face. Her dark eyes narrowed, as if she was in
pain, and she said, "Then what the fuck am I doing here? Is this the icy cold Cash from the other night because if it is, he can go fuck…"
Before she said something we might both regret, I stopped her with a hard kiss, my tongue sliding into her mouth as I pushed my hips forward to let her know how excited she'd already gotten me. Her body melted into mine as all her anger and defensiveness faded away. Trailing my lips across her cheek, I gently sunk my teeth into her earlobe before I said, "As for what he can fuck, he's already made his choice."
There was nothing else to say. I wanted her, and I wasn't going to wait or try to fight what I felt for her. I didn't exactly know what I planned to do about all those reasons I shouldn't continue this with Olivia, but I liked how she made me feel. As long as I kept her at arm's length, we'd be fine.
Sliding my hands down her back, I cupped her gorgeous ass and picked her up to carry her over to the couch. I laid her down and eased my fingers under her dress and panties to find her pussy wet and waiting for me. She arched her back to give me a better angle, and I slipped one finger inside her. She was burning up, but I saw her wince as a second finger joined the first. "Is something wrong?"
"No. Just still a little sore," she answered shyly, like she was embarrassed.
I lifted her dress and peeled off her panties. Bared to me, her pussy was perfect but a little too pink. I'd been a little too rough our first time. Looking up, I ran my tongue over her wet slit and gently sucked her clit between my lips. "I don't want to hurt you, so we're going to have to figure out a Plan B."
"I'm fine. I'm sure once we get started, things will ease up a bit."
"I've got a better idea."
I spread her open with my fingers and lightly licked straight up the middle of her pussy. Olivia squirmed, but I knew it wasn't because I was hurting her. Lifting my head, I asked, "What's wrong?"
That gentle pink blush that told me when she was feeling bashful spread across her face. "I feel…just really exposed here in the middle of your living room in front of that big window…" Her voice trailed off as the blush deepened, but I knew it wasn't my neighbors that concerned her.
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