by Sarah Bale
“Water,” I croak out.
He smiles. “Of course.”
He pours some water into a little pink cup, handing it to me.
“Just take it slow,” he warns.
I take a sip and sputter as it slides down my dry throat. My stomach aches as I move, but I have to stay awake. I need to know what happened.
After another sip I ask, “How did I get here?”
“You don’t remember?”
I shake my head.
“Someone dropped you off. You were an innocent bystander during a motorcycle gang shooting outside of a store.”
My pulse spikes as bits of that night come back to me. He’s wrong. I was involved in something with two members of a motorcycle club, but not in front of a store.
My nurse goes on, “It was a drug deal gone bad. One of the guys died and the other got away.”
Does this mean Maniac escaped?
“You were lucky those strangers brought you in. I heard one of them was shaken over it. He didn’t want to leave your side.”
A flash of Bash holding my hand as white lights flash overhead crosses my mind. Bash is the one who didn’t want to leave my side.
“In fact, they keep coming around, asking if they can see you. Unfortunately, that is against hospital rules, since they’re not immediate family.” He peers down at me. “Unless you would like to see them?”
When he moves, I catch a small glimpse of a tattoo on his neck. A skull with wings stares back at me.
I nod. “I want to see them.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” He smiles. “Rest now.”
And, so I do.
They don’t come to see me for the next few days. My nurse, Dennis, assures me they will, but I’m starting to wonder.
Late one evening, there’s a knock on the door. When I look up, I gasp.
“Bash!”
Bash crosses the room, taking my hand into his. “I’ve been so worried. They wouldn’t let us see you until tonight.”
“Let me guess, club favor?”
“Something like that. Saint pulled some strings.”
My heart flutters a little. “How is everyone? How’s Jas?”
“Everyone is good.” He pauses. “Jas still isn’t responding, but we’ve been told that she’ll come out of it.”
“I tried to stop him,” I say, shaking my head. “Oh my god. What about Maniac? The last thing I remember is him crawling toward the door.”
“We got your text message and we heading to the RV when the gun went off the first time. By the time we went in, you’d been shot twice and Maniac was almost to the door. We got him, though.”
“Good. Where is he now?”
Before he can answer, Razor and King walk in, both carrying flowers.
King kisses my forehead. “How are you feeling?”
“I’ve been better.”
Razor pulls me into a hug, holding me close, not saying a word.
“I’m okay,” I murmur. “Promise.”
When he pulls away, he has tears in his eyes, which makes my own eyes water.
Bash says, “I was just about to tell Liv where Maniac is, if you can pull it together, Razor.”
Razor flips off Bash and rubs his eyes.
King sits in the chair next to my bed and says, “Hell of a story.”
“What happened?”
Bash answers, “Saint and King met with Agent Hill.”
The monitor in the room notes my erratic heartbeat. Enough so that Dennis pops his head in.
“Doing okay?” He’s eyeing the guys, though, like he’s about to tell them to get the hell out of here.
“Yeah. I’m good.” When he’s gone, I ask, “What did Agent Hill have to say?”
King replies, “He told us everything. How Jas came to work for the club. How you came to work for the club.”
My eyes water. “I can explain.”
“There’s no need to,” Saint says from the door.
He’s holding a large bouquet of wildflowers, putting King’s and Razor’s flowers to shame. He sets them on the table and turns to face me.
“We made a deal with Agent Hill. We turned Maniac over to him to be prosecuted. In exchange, you and Jas will be given the chance to start over somewhere new, all expenses paid.”
“I- I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything. Just think about it.” He motions for the guys to stand. “We need to go. We bribed your nurse to let us in here for ten minutes. Don’t want to piss him off.”
Bash, Razor, and King each kiss me on the head before leaving. When they’re gone, Saint stares down at me.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.”
“Saint-”
He leans over, brushing his lips on my cheek. “Rest, Olivia. We can talk later.”
This feels like a goodbye. I can’t explain it, but Saint is letting me go.
When he gets to the door, I call his name.
“Saint.”
He stops and looks at me, warring emotions on his face. But, I don’t have words. How do I tell him that I’m sorry for lying? That I would do this all over just to be in their lives. That I love him.
He smiles, as if he knows the train of my thoughts.
And then he’s gone.
30
Olivia
I’m in the hospital for a total of six weeks before I get out. The month of July has flown by as I watched from a window in my room. Bash, Razor, and King spend their free time with me, but it’s not the same. And I miss Saint.
Now, it’s August. I overhear two of the nurses talking in the hallway about how they’re glad their kids are going back to school. Which means it’s almost time for me to go back to school, too.
Dennis enters, carrying my lunch tray. We’ve become friends over the last month and I found out how he came to have a Devil’s Regents tattoo on his neck. His boyfriend was in the club and wanted him to have his mark. Sadly one night he had too much to drink and went out on his bike. He didn’t survive the crash. Dennis told me it almost broke him, but Saint helped him through it.
Dennis smiles. “You look like you’re a million miles away.”
“Just thinking of how most of my summer was spent in here.”
“That sucks, but I have news for you.” He grins. “You’re getting out today.”
“I am?” I stand. “Oh gosh. I don’t even have anything to wear.”
“I believe Saint is supposed to drop off a bag.”
“Is- is he the one who’s picking me up today?”
Dennis sits on the foot of my bed. “I have to know - what is going on between the two of you? I’ve known Saint for a while and I’ve never seen him act like this over anyone. But then I see Bash, Razor, and the oh-so-sexy King making out with you when you think I’m not looking.” He wags a finger at me. “And don’t give me the it’s complicated bull crap.”
“I’m with Bash. And Razor. And King.”
He puts his hands over his heart. “You may be my hero. What about Saint?”
“I- we’re not. I don’t think he likes me like that.”
“I think you’re wrong. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”
I shake my head. “He didn’t seem very interested when I told him how I felt.”
Dennis says, “It’s not my place to say this, but has Saint ever told you about his past?”
“No. Why?”
“When I first met Saint, he was going through some… things.”
“Such as?”
Dennis looks me straight in the eyes. “His wife had just died. It was very sudden and very tragic. From what everyone says, it changed him a lot.”
“I had no idea.”
I think back to the rocking chair in his closet. But, maybe it’s not that far-fetched.
Dennis goes on, “I’m just saying that since then, he hasn’t been serious with anyone. Maybe he’s scared to get close to you. I mean, he’s already lost one person he loved.”
/> Saint
I back away from the door, my throat burning. Damn Dennis. He isn’t wrong, but it’s not his place to be telling Olivia this. I go into the men’s restroom, locking the door behind me. I haven’t thought of her in so long, but being here has brought up memories that I wish I could forget. Like how I let her down. How her death is my fault. How Olivia reminds me of her.
Rubbing my hands over my face, I know what I have to do. I send a text to Bash, Razor, and King, telling them we need to talk as soon as I get back with Olivia. They’re not going to be happy about my decision, but they won’t go against me. Not on this.
When I’ve regained my composure, I go out of the bathroom to Olivia’s room. She’s sitting on the edge of her bed, smiling at Dennis. I tap on the door.
“I hear you get out today.” I hold up the bag in my hand. “I brought you some clothes.”
“Thank you.” She stands. “Do I have time for a shower before we go home?”
Home.
I nod. “Of course.”
She goes to the bathroom, closing the door.
Dennis turns to me. “You heard me earlier, didn’t you?”
“I did.”
“I figured. I saw a shadow by the door that disappeared after I said the bit about you being married.” He pauses. “I’m not trying to get in your business, Saint. You know I respect you and everything thing you’ve done for me, but I have to say this. You’re making a mistake by pushing her away.”
“I appreciate your concern.”
He smiles, shaking his head. “That’s one thing I don’t miss.”
“Come again?”
“You bikers are too stubborn sometimes.” He stands. “Just think about it before you do something you’re going to regret. She’s a good girl. She can make you happy.”
“It was good seeing you, Dennis.”
“Some things never change,” he mutters as he leaves.
He’s right. That’s why I have to do this before Olivia gets hurt. Again.
Olivia chats happily as we drive back to the clubhouse.
“I can’t believe it’s already August!”
Reaching into my pocket, I pull out her phone. “We’ve been texting your friends, so they didn’t worry about you. Your roommate, Lucy, has been very persistent.”
“Oh my gosh, I didn’t even think about texting her!” She scrolls through her phone and lets out a laugh. “Pneumonia, huh?”
“We figured it would explain why you didn’t feel like getting out. Better than telling her you were shot by an outlaw.”
This makes her frown. “I still can’t believe Mama Bear did that to the club.”
“After looking into her past, I’m not surprised. What’s shocking is that she waited so long. Apparently she was gunning for me to die for years.”
“Any word on Jas?”
I shake my head. “Nothing new.”
She looks out her window. “I wish I could have done more to protect her.”
“You saved her life.”
We arrive to the clubhouse where Bash, Razor, and King wait. The fuckers made a banner, welcoming her home. I frown. There’s that word again.
I park and King opens her door.
“Welcome home, sugar.”
He kisses her until she giggles. Bash and Razor each have similar moments with her. I get out, motioning for a Prospect to come over.
“Help her to her room,” I say. “Tell her I’ll be in there in a bit to talk to her.”
Then I get my men’s attention. They follow me to the conference room. When we get inside, I close the door.
“I’ve made a decision about Olivia.”
I swear to god, they freeze. Bash looks scared. Razor can’t look me in the eyes. And King -fucking King knows me better than anyone - he knows what I’m about to say.
He shakes his head. “No, brother. It doesn’t have to be like this.”
“It does.”
Razor says, “She didn’t do anything wrong.”
“She lied to us and was working with the Feds.”
“This is fucking bullshit, Saint!”
“Call it what you want, but the others won’t want her around when they know what she did.”
“Then don’t fucking tell them.”
I shake my head. “That isn’t how we work as a club, Razor. You, out of everyone, should know that.”
King asks, “Have you told her?”
“No. I wanted to give you each time to say goodbye.” I pause. “And that’s what this has to be. A goodbye.”
“How will we know she’s safe?” Bash questions. “What if Maniac and Psycho had more men than we know about?”
“We can keep tabs on her, but, for her sake, she can’t know we’re there. She deserves a chance to move on from this. From us. Hell, Agent Hill is offering to give her a brand new life. She won’t get that if we don’t cut all ties here and now.”
They sit there, soaking in what I’ve said.
But, it’s time to deal the final blow.
“Her roommate is moving into their new townhouse today. I’m going to have one of the Prospects take her and her things there after you’ve each talked to her. And tomorrow we have Church.”
“Business as fucking usual,” Razor mutters.
“That’s right, Razor.” I stand. “You each have thirty minutes to say goodbye to her, unless anyone objects to this ruling?”
They don’t say anything, because when it comes down to it, they know I’m right. We’re bad for Olivia and she deserves the best.
As I walk away from my most loyal men, I pray they can forgive me for this. Because I’m not sure I can forgive myself.
31
Olivia
I’m standing in front of the dive bar, trying not to barf in front of everyone. What in the fuck was I thinking? There’s no way I can walk in there. They’ll see right through me.
A burly man bumps into me and asks, “You lost, sweetheart?”
Good lord, he’s got dark hair everywhere. It’s even poking out from his yellow shirt.
I shake my head. “No. I’m looking for Rabbit.”
I’ve repeated the line to myself at least a hundred times. Agent Hill said to make it believable – that I needed to see Rabbit. To not take no for an answer.
“Rabbit? Hell, he’s inside. Come on, I’ll show you.”
I follow him past a bouncer who doesn’t even look up as we pass. Smoke hangs thick in the air, and I cough, making the guy grin.
“This your first time here?”
I nod.
“What’s a good girl like you doing in a place like this?”
I go with the lie I was told to tell.
“Rabbit owes me money.”
“Get in line, sweetheart.”
But he laughs, so I’ve said something right and feel a little more at ease. We finally reach a table where another man sits, drinking beer. There’s a rabbit tattooed on his bald head.
Wonder if that’s how he got the nickname?
“Rabbit, this gal’s looking for you. Says you owe her money.”
“I don’t owe anyone shit!” He looks at me, squinting. “Oli! Is that really you?”
Oli?
I stutter out, “Yes.”
“Damn girl, it’s been too long.” He stands, hugging me. “Thanks for bringing her over, Grizzly.”
The guy’s name is seriously Grizzly? As in grizzly bear? I bite back a laugh as Grizzly nods, leaving. What kind of world have I stumbled into?
When he’s gone, Rabbit looks me over. “Didn’t they tell you what to wear? This isn’t going to work.”
Agent Hill said to dress in tight fitting clothes that showed off my figure. But I’ve learned that sometimes less is more. Keep ‘em guessing.
I look down at my jean shorts and top. “It’s the tightest thing I own.” The lie rolls off my tongue.
“Follow me.”
He takes my hand, not really giving me a choice, and walks to a dark corn
er, right into the women’s bathroom. None of the women blink an eye as he pulls me into a stall, slamming the door shut.
In fact, one woman snorts and says, “Shit, I remember those days.”
Rabbit rolls his eyes and says to me, “Take off your shirt.”
I blanche. “I’d rather not.”
I might enjoy a bit of danger in my life, but I don’t know this man.
“Fuck, girl. I’m going to fix it for you, not stare at your titties.”
He pulls out a knife, and I wonder for the millionth time what in the heck I’ve gotten myself in to. Agent Hill didn’t tell me much more, other than what he said at Panera Bread. When I asked what he meant about me being someone’s type, he became cryptic. I’ve known a few shady people in my past and I know when someone’s lying to me. And he lied when he said it didn’t mean anything.
With a sigh, I tug my shirt over my head. I’ve made my deal with Agent Hill. Heck, I’ve even cashed the check he gave me for half the amount he promised. So now I have to hold up my end of the bargain. Rabbit takes my shirt from me before I can change my mind, cutting half of it off. I watch in horror as he ruins a shirt that cost more than a week’s worth of my wages. It might not have been tight, but it was brand name!
“Take off your bra.”
“No way.”
“Girl, this isn’t going to work if you don’t fit in.” He hands me my shirt. “Here. Put this on, but then toss the bra.”
It’s better than nothing, so I put it on and unhook my bra, tugging it off without giving Rabbit a free show. I feel exposed, as the shirt barely covers the underside of my breasts now.
Rabbit eyes the bra, so I shove it into the trash can.
“Now your shorts.”
I scowl, but pull off my shorts, handing them to him. He shreds them with his knife before tossing them at me.
“Let’s go.”
I put them on and air caresses my ass cheeks. Awesome. We pass a mirror as we leave and I catch a glimpse of myself. The woman staring back at me is a stranger and I shiver, not knowing if I like what I see.
She’s bold. I’m not.
She’s fearless. I’m a coward.