“What do you think?” He stood at my shoulder, his voice a low rumble.
I choked up as I struggled for the words. “It is the most beautiful sight I have ever seen,” I said with a catch in my voice.
“I have to agree with you there, though I am biased,” said Darcy softly. “Accustomed to it as I am, I am always struck by it whenever I see it.”
“Accustomed to it? Do you climb all this way so often?”
“Every time I am home. It is a ritual for me — my favourite place to think and relax. No one else comes here. I wonder if it is all but forgotten.”
“No one else comes here?” I looked up at him. His gaze was steady on my face.
“No one but you now. I wanted to share it with you. You are the only other person I have ever brought here.”
I swallowed. “Then I must thank you for the honour.”
“You must not thank me.” For the first time, I realised he still held my fingers. A warm flow of security poured through me as he flexed them slightly. “You are my wife. I wish to share everything with you.”
I flushed and bit my lip. “And you have really brought no one else here before? Not even… not even Georgiana or Richard or… anyone?” I wanted to say Amelia, but I did not want her name to break this spell between us. Darcy smiled.
“I have really brought no one else here before. It is all ours. Come, there is more I must show you.”
He led me to the castle. Though it was a ruin, I smiled to see a part of it had been covered over by trees to form a shelter. The remains of a little church stood inside, and a splendid tree grew through what had once been a fine window.
“Your ancestor chose a beautiful place.”
“He had excellent taste. Does it meet your approval?”
I turned to him with a large smile.
“It more than meets it. I love it. I did not at all expect something like this when you said you wished to show me something. One could live here quite peacefully.” I tilted my head back to admire the canopy.
“I had sometimes considered it when life was too much for me,” said Darcy in a quiet voice. “I trained the trees to grow like that when I was a boy. It was my favourite refuge from the world. It still is.”
“Not anymore if you have told me.” I smiled at him.
“I do not wish to have a refuge from you. I always imagined that the only other person I would bring here would be my wife. I hoped she would be a woman I could truly love and admire and not just marry for fortune and connections.” He took a step towards me. His eyes were darker than usual. My heart raced as he looked down at me. He raised my fingers to his lips. “Elizabeth…” he murmured. I could hardly speak. I only gaped at him as though my mind had lost the ability to function. I licked my lips, and his eyes followed the movement at once. He stepped closer, his arm going around my waist and pulling me closer…
A clash of thunder lit the sky overhead. Almost immediately, a deluge of rainfall followed. Darcy glanced at it and swore.
“I should have paid more attention to the weather,” he said. “I was so eager to show you… well, come. We must hurry.”
I blinked as I emerged from the stupor his presence had lulled me into.
“Hurry? Would it not be best if we stayed here?” I could not wish to end the magic of this moment.
“You do not know the storms we have this far north. If the rain does not let up, the sides of this hill will become impassable. Though it is risky for us to walk, it would be a far greater one to stay here. Come, do not be afraid. I will help you.”
“I am not afraid,” I said indignantly.
Darcy gave me a quick grin. “I know.”
The going was painfully slow. Darcy tucked Udolpho inside his greatcoat, so his hands were free to assist me. More than once I slipped in the mud and Darcy had to catch me. He apologised again for what he felt was his poor judgment in bringing me there on such a day, but I stopped him.
“Storms can come quickly. You were not to know this would happen,” I replied. “You forget, this is me you are addressing. Do you think I have not encountered storms before?”
Darcy smiled, but there was little mirth in it. “Not like the one that is brewing now, my love.” The wind snatched away the rest of his words and I was so shocked by the onslaught I missed what he had just called me. I clutched his hand as we hurried towards Pemberley.
We were soaked by the time we ran up the steps and into the gleaming hall. Mrs Reynolds hurried down to meet us.
“I was to send the boys out if you did not return in a few minutes,” she exclaimed. “Oh, Mrs Darcy, you will catch your death. You are soaked through. What were you thinking, Mr Darcy, to bring your young lady out on a day like this? No, never mind the floor, Mrs Darcy. It can be cleaned again. You must go to your room while we draw a bath for you. And you too, Mr Darcy. Not a word of protest…”
I submitted to her motherly scoldings with a rueful grin at Darcy. He released Udolpho from his coat. Mrs Reynolds called for a maid to bring him to the kitchens to eat. He wobbled slightly when he was placed on the floor. I exchanged an amused look with my husband.
“I think we might have finally succeeded in tiring him out,” said Darcy.
“You have tired both of you out. You will not be able to keep your eyes open at dinner. Come, both of you. You must not stay in these wet clothes a moment longer.”
As we turned to obey her orders, a voice stopped us.
“Mr Darcy…” A young man ran up the steps behind us. His plain clothes suggested he was a groom. “Begging your pardon for taking the front door, sir…”
Darcy waved away his apology, his eyes at once sharp and alert.
“What is it, Nicholas?”
“I thought I should tell you, sir. We have just received word that the little lad from Sudeley’s has gone missing. The master begs leave that you will send whatever help you can.”
Darcy stiffened with horror. “What the devil is he doing here?” He shook his head. “Forgive me. Of course. How long has he been missing? I did not even know he was… no, that does not matter for now. Gather all the men you can. We shall go over there at once.”
“What is it, Darcy?” I asked in confusion.
Darcy whirled to me. His eyes were anxious. “I am sorry for this. I shall not take long. Please, go to your room and get warm. I do not wish you to be ill. I must leave at once. There is no time to lose.”
“Of course, but…” My mind reeled with confusion. Darcy turned to go, but he had not gone many steps when he turned back to me again. I stared at him in bewilderment as he strode towards me and caught me to him.
“I hoped to do this under better circumstances, but…” he said quietly for my ears alone. Before I could ask him what he meant, Darcy’s mouth was pressed to mine. I froze in shock for a moment before I loosened and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer to me as his lips devoured mine hungrily. I reached up to wind my hands in his hair, almost forgetting everyone else around us. My heart soared and thudded painfully, but a moment later, he was gone.
Mrs Reynolds looked just as startled. The tips of her ears burned with heat.
“Well — er — well, you newlywed.” She shook her head. “Come with me, my dear. The master will send me out on my ear if anything happens to you.”
“Mrs Reynolds, do you know what is happening?” I asked. “Who has disappeared? Why is Darcy behaving so strangely?” I gathered my skirts to keep myself from tripping over the sodden ends as I followed the housekeeper up the stairs.
“I am sure I do not know. I am as confused as you are. I will ask Nicholas when he returns. One of the servant’s children has disappeared, I imagine. Mr Darcy is very good for sending whatever help he can when the neighbours are in trouble. He would not be content to sit at home while others do all the work.”
I could not deny the truth of that. I felt a fierce rush of pride when I saw my husband always prepared to roll up his sleeves and get his hands dirty. I cou
ld never have respected a man who sat at home in fine clothes and never soiled his hands with labour. And much as I wished him there with me, I would have thought less of him if he was prepared to sit at home while a child might be in danger. I only hoped they found the little boy before anything happened to him.
I allowed Mrs Reynolds to prepare a hot bath for me and ordered one for Mr Darcy’s room.
“I hope he shall not be too late,” I said anxiously as Kate brushed my hair. I looked out at the darkening sky. Did Darcy have a lantern with him? I was not sure. Surely a small child could not have wandered so far? He must still be somewhere around the grounds of the neighbouring estate. I played with my combs as Kate murmured soothing words. But I could see her pale reflection in the mirror and her frequent glances towards the window, and I knew she was just as worried as I. I did not need to ask if Thomas had joined the search.
I sent Kate away early, not able to endure company while I was so anxious. I paced the floor then went downstairs to sit in a drawing-room that offered a view over the park. I would see little in the dark, but I kept a lantern in the window in the superstitious hope that it would bring Darcy home to me.
“Perhaps you should go to bed, Mrs Darcy,” said Mrs Reynolds when she came to bring me tea.
“I could not sleep,” I said from my position at the window. “I cannot sit here and wonder what is happening. Perhaps I should…”
“You cannot go out there after him,” said Mrs Reynolds. I turned in surprise at the harshness in her voice. She straightened up, and though she looked apologetic for her tone, she did not repent her words. “You must not think of it. You would not know how to search. It is wet and wild out there. You would only succeed in getting lost and causing the master more worry. Please do not think of it, ma’am.”
I stared at her helplessly, searching my mind for some argument, but I could find none.
“Very well.” I almost spat the words out in my frustration. Foolish though it was, I could not help thinking of another time a man I loved had gone out into the woods and never returned home.
“This is different,” I told myself repeatedly. “Darcy is a young, healthy man. He is with others. He is safe. He and the child will come to no harm.”
But I could not make myself believe it. Finally, as the clock struck one in the morning, I saw something moving out on the lawn. With a cry of relief and anger, I jumped up and ran down the passage to the steps. Mrs Reynolds called me back, but there was no need. I stood frozen to the spot I could see in the flickering lamplight.
A group of grooms hurried across the lawn. They carried a stretcher between them. I felt a wave of dizziness as I realised it held. On it lay the still form of my husband. My mind went at once to that terrible day at Longbourn when I had witnessed my father being carried home in a similar manner, and a wave of nausea washed over me. I could not survive it happening again. Heedless of my slippers and the pouring rain, I hurried down the steps to meet them as they arrived. I leaned over my husband, caressing his still face as I struggled to fight back the tears.
“What happened?” I yelled over the screaming wind.
“The little lad had fallen into the river, ma’am,” yelled Nicholas. “The master went in after him and got him out. But he was swept away. The water was that high and wild. He caught onto some broken branches, and we could get him out, but he had been in the water for such a long time…”
“He is not dead?” I demanded. I clutched Nicholas’s arm and must have looked wild as he recoiled in fright.
“He was not when we fished him out, ma’am, but he is very weak.”
I felt a flicker of relief at that though it was small. I nodded for them to continue to the house.
43
I sat on the bed beside Darcy, holding his hand. Nicholas told me they had made him cough up as much water as they could. His head was bruised. Even unconscious, he winced when I touched it. On a wild night such as this, there was no chance we could send for a physician. I saw beside Darcy and caressed him and spoke to him in a low voice. His breathing was shallow.
“The boy is safe?” I asked over my shoulder.
“Yes, ma’am. He is at home now and will be right as rain after a good night’s sleep. I am sure the master will be as well.”
I nodded. “Thank you. You may go. I will stay with Mr Darcy tonight.”
Mrs Reynolds protested, but I was firm. I would not leave my husband’s side.
Darcy thrashed during the night and tossed restlessly. I touched his head. His face was burning. I banked the fire higher and leaned over him anxiously, placing cool cloths on his head. I knew keeping him warm was the best way to help him if he had a chill. Thank god he was a strong swimmer or I hate to think what might have happened to him. Or even what might still happen to him now.
“I am here, Fitzwilliam,” I murmured. I leaned over him and pressed his hand. “Come, you must come through this. I am here.” I placed a hand against his burning forehead.
“Elizabeth,” he whispered. I sat up. He opened his eyes. They were so supernaturally bright that I bit back a frightened sob. “Elizabeth. My dearest, loveliest Elizabeth.”
“I am here. I will not leave you.”
Darcy turned his head to look at me with those fiercely bright eyes. In the candlelight, they almost frightened me. I gently stroked the hair back from his face, feeling the dampness of his curls. Was he sick? I had heard of people growing ill from drinking river water, although that tended to happen in busier towns where the water was filled with filth. His head was sore, so that might cause him an illness. If only I knew.
“We will send for the physician first thing tomorrow,” I said. “Please, Darcy, get through tonight for me. Please. I could not bear it if anything happened to you.”
“My lovely Elizabeth,” Darcy murmured. He closed his eyes again and seemed to fall into a deep sleep. I watched his chest with terror and almost sobbed with relief when it rose and fell. It was the longest night of my life.
The physician arrived at dawn the following morning. I was pale, and my eyes shadowed as he leaned over my husband.
“He will catch a fever,” he said. “He must have swallowed something in the water. Your men were clever to force him to be ill, but there is no saying how much he drank before they reached him.”
“What does that mean?” I asked. I stood by the bedpost chewing my nails, unable to take my eyes from my pale, still husband.
“It means he is in God’s hands now,” said the physician. He wiped his hands as he stood back from Darcy. I stared at him in horror.
“He will not die?”
Mrs Reynolds hurried forward, her face tight with anxiety.
The physician shrugged. “I wish I had better news to give you. I will say he is a young, healthy, strong man. If anyone can come through this illness, it is him. The best you can do is keep him cool and comfortable until he comes through the crisis. I will leave a draught for you to give him every few hours. And then you must pray. I am sorry, Mrs Darcy.”
I stared at him in horror. I pressed a finger to my lips as though I could keep the scream at bay. Darcy could not die. He was too young, too vital. He was filled with energy. No, I could not allow it to happen. I would not let it happen.
The physician left, and I sank at Darcy’s side. Mrs Reynolds came towards me, her brow puckered.
“You should sleep, Mrs Darcy. I can remain by his side.”
I shook my head. “I could not sleep a wink.”
“Some food then. Come, you will be no good to the master if you were to fall ill.”
“I am not hungry.”
“Nonetheless, you must eat.”
I shook my head again, refusing to look away from my husband. I jolted when I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder.
“Elizabeth.”
I started at the sound of my Christian name. Mrs Reynolds looked down at me, her face kind but firm. “You must eat. You cannot help your husband by depriving yourself.”
There was an edge in Mrs Reynolds’s tone that said she would brook no argument. I did not wish to give her two patients to worry about instead of one, so I reluctantly agreed.
I managed to sleep some hours at Mr Darcy’s side. I woke to find my hand clutched in his though his eyes were still closed. His breathing was so shallow it terrified me. I caressed his forehead.
“Please be well,” I whispered, fighting back the tears. “Please, you must recover. I could not bear it otherwise.”
Beneath my hand, Darcy stirred. He turned his head towards me. I looked at that face, so handsome and now so beloved and I felt my heart lurch.
“I love you,” I whispered, the words I never thought I would dare say to him out loud. Darcy’s lips moved slightly. I hesitated and leaned closer to catch what he said.
“I love you too,” he murmured.
My heart froze. I blinked back a tear. To think, I had dreamed of us saying these words to one another and now that we had, it should come about like this. Darcy did not know what he was saying. No doubt he was responding as he must have done to all those who told him they loved him over the years. But I would still cherish those words with everything I had.
“Come back to me,” I said. But he was still once again.
As evening drew in, Mrs Reynolds brought me a tray. Though the food was tasteless to me, I forced myself to consume it under her watchful eye. When I was almost finished, she seemed satisfied.
“Are you sure you will not sleep in your own room tonight?” she asked. “I am happy to remain with the master.”
Her maternal concern was just what I needed now, and it soothed me more than anything else could. I smiled at her.
“No, thank you. I slept for a few hours by his side. If I were away from him, I could not rest. It is best if I remain here.”
She sighed but nodded. “Very well. But do try to sleep, won’t you? I will bring your night things.”
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