I actually bumped into one of the main bullies when I was out doing a weekly food shop recently. I hadn’t seen her in a decade yet I still felt nervous when I saw her face. I even went to go down a different aisle to avoid her, then I thought no, why should I run and hide? I’m not the one who did anything wrong. To my absolute surprise she approached me when she saw me. Full of smiles. ‘Hiya, Scarlett. Wow, I did not expect to bump into you today. You’re doing great. I was laughing the other week actually with my two little girls because thanks to you they think they have the coolest mam ever now they know their mam was friends with you at school.’
Now usually I would just smile, say ‘tell the girls I said hi’ and walk away. But she used the F-word, ‘friend’. I’ll be honest, I felt like ramming my basket into her shins (and I am not a violent person). How dare she use the word ‘friend’? Was she a friend when she came into the school with fake plastic teeth pretending to be me, shouting ‘Goofy’ at the top of her lungs in English class? Was she my friend when she and her crew would stare at me and laugh during lunch to the point where I ate my lunch in the toilets?
And then it just came out, before I could even stop myself: word-vomit. I told her what I was really thinking. ‘Why would your daughters think we were friends? We have never been friends. You bullied me for three years, you destroyed my confidence. I moved schools because of you and your gang.’
‘Oh, Scarlett, we were just kids then, it’s just kids’ craic.’
‘It might have just been kids’ craic to you, but let me tell you this. I pray and hope your two daughters never have to go through or deal with what I went through, because I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.’
And I meant that, I really wouldn’t want my worst enemy to feel that way. Before she even got a chance to reply I put down my basket in the middle of the aisle, walked out of the supermarket and felt like cheering.
I know some might think, well, you shouldn’t have gave her the satisfaction, but for me it was closure. See there’s an inspirational quote I like:
‘When people hurt you over and over, think of
them like sandpaper. They may scratch and hurt you
a bit, but in the end, you end up polished.’
Chapter Eight
DAD SAID I’M HIS FAVOURITE, SORRY
A Pennsylvania State University study revealed that by the time children turn eleven, they spend about 33 per cent of their spare time with their siblings.
Research revealed that 65 per cent of mothers and 70 per cent of fathers show a preference for one child over another (although no parents ever would admit to this).
Ava Gardner was married three times, to Frank Sinatra, Artie Shaw, and Mickey Rooney. Grace Kelly was the first ever actress to have her name on a US postage stamp, which appeared in 1993.
My little sister Ava Grace is my favourite person in the whole world and was born the same week I got my GCSE mock results. Without even realising it she makes me want to be the best I can ever be just so I know I do her proud.
Up until the moment she was born, I was an only child. If you’ve been an only child and the centre of attention of your family for fifteen years, it’s hard when all of a sudden you’re told, ‘There’s going to be a new little Moffatt.’ If I am going to be totally honest, although I had always wanted a little sister I never imagined it would be happening at an age where I was almost old enough to have children myself. It was mixed feelings: part of me was very excited but the other part was apprehensive about sharing my parents with somebody else.
I actually found out my mam was pregnant by accident. I heard my mam chatting away to my nanny on the phone and saying, ‘Well, how do I tell her?’
So as a joke, I came waltzing into the living room: ‘Oh, come on then, are you going to tell me about this new baby?’ My mam, now thirty-six and still this sarcastic amazing woman, looked at me with a face I’ve never seen her make. She hung up on Nanny and burst into a fit of tears. ‘What’s the matter?’ I said. And then I thought, ‘Oh God, what is the matter?’
‘I didn’t want you to find out this way!’ she wailed.
‘Find out what? What are you on about?’
‘I’m pregnant!’
‘Are you really? I don’t understand. How? Oh my God, I hope I wasn’t in the house when it … happened.’
‘When what happened?’
‘The baby-making, Mam! Oh, I don’t know whether to be happy or throw up.’
‘Oh Scarlett, don’t, I really didn’t know how to tell you. Well, you know a couple of weeks ago when we were at the Blackpool dance competition and I kept being sick?’
‘And we just thought it was nerves?’
‘And then your dance shoes absolutely stank of sweat after the comp and I got them out of the box, and I immediately ran to the toilet and was sick? Well, that wasn’t dancing sweat that made me ill, that was your little brother or sister.’
I had to keep it a secret for a month (which felt like a bloody lifetime). The rest of the family found out because my Uncle Daniel started singing ‘Daddy, daddy cool’ to my dad at a family tea party. It didn’t take people long to put my mam’s weight gain and that song together before they guessed it.
My mam’s pregnancy was so lovely because my auntie Kirsty also fell pregnant just two months after my mam so they got to experience it together. I went shopping with them both and as the months went on and we got baby clothes and pushchairs and cots I was so excited. When we found out my auntie Kirsty was having a little boy (my cousin Joshua) and my mam was having a little girl I cried and cried. I couldn’t believe there was going to be a mini-me running around.
The day came, 23 June 2006. My sister was born. She is as cute as a button, is covered in little freckles, has that hair colour that isn’t quite brown or blonde (mousey colour we call it) and has beautiful blue eyes. Ava Elisabeth Grace Moffatt. She was named after the beautiful actress Ava Gardner, my mam (of course) and Grace Kelly. She actually wants to do West End shows when she’s older so I am hoping she takes after her namesakes.
Because I was moving to university by the time Ava was her own little character, I did make a huge effort to come home every weekend. I didn’t want to miss out on her growing up.
I remember I came home one weekend when Ava had just turned five and went to go and put my stuff in my room and it was now baby blue with dinosaur and fossil prints all over the walls and about ten Build-a-Bears piled up on the bed.
‘Where’s all my stuff?’
‘Ava needed a bigger bedroom.’
‘Hey!’
‘Well, yes, but all your stuff’s at uni now.’
‘I’ve still got to come back eventually, and then I’ll be bringing my stuff back.’
I couldn’t believe I had been downgraded. She got the biggest bedroom in the house, and I got the littlest room: the Harry Potter room. In fact it was worse than sleeping under the stairs. I was like Alice in Wonderland. You know the scene where she grows and her arms are out the windows and her legs are out the doors after she’s downed the bottled labelled ‘Drink Me’? That’s what that room’s like. You can’t even open the door fully. You’ve just got to half-open the door and then jump on the bed. When I go back now, I’m still in the closet room. That room used to be my chill room with a little couch in the bay. Now I’ve got to fit all my stuff in there.
Everything did all change quickly, and it was hard at first because my family life was completely different. It was really bizarre, but I would not change it for the world. It really altered the dynamic of our family when Ava arrived, but in a good way. I can’t even remember now what life was like without her.
What’s funny is that me and Ava still argue! Despite there being fifteen years between us, we still wind each other up. So if there were only a couple of years between us, it would not be good news because we’re both so sarcastic and we’re both really stubborn.
I’m going to sound evil here, but she winds me up all the time. She’ll say
things like, ‘Oh, you always get your own way because you’re on the telly.’
So my parents would ask, ‘Do you want a cup of tea?’ And Ava will say, ‘Why? Because she’s on the telly?’
‘No, because me dad’s asking if I want a cup of tea.’
Or she’ll go, ‘Someone was talking about you at school today.’
‘What were they saying?’
‘Oh, you don’t want to know.’
‘Well, what are you mentioning it for?’
‘You really don’t want to know.’
So she’s purposefully winding me up. Or because she knows it gets to me, she’ll go, ‘I love you – I don’t care what people say.’
‘What are people saying?’
‘Nothing.’
She’s only eleven. I know I’ve got to cool it a bit, but I’m like, ‘Ava!’
When I wind her up, she runs upstairs and says, ‘I’m not talking to you any more.’ Until five minutes later she will come back down and go, ‘Mam and Dad love me more’ – especially if they’re out of the room.
I say, ‘Will you stop saying that, Ava?’
‘They tell me all the time when you’re not here. Dad said that I’m his favourite, sorry.’
‘Really?’
‘Yeah, he loves me more.’
‘The thing is, he might love you more, but he’s had fifteen more years with me.’
‘What?’
‘I mean, that’s OK. You’ve only been in his life eleven years, but I’ve been in it twenty-seven. We had a full fifteen years without you.’
‘Why do you always say that?’ And she’ll storm out.
‘Come on, Ava, I’m only joking.’
Then she retaliates by shouting from the top of the stairs: ‘Yes, but he said it was the worst fifteen years of his life before I came along.’
She’s hilarious. Honestly, she’s the funniest person I know. But she still manages to wind all of us up. For instance, as soon as he’s finished with a cup of tea, my dad will just put it down on the floor. She’ll go, ‘Finished with that, Dad?’
‘Yes.’
‘Oh, does this look like the kitchen?’
‘I just finished it.’
‘Go and put it away in the dishwasher then.’ She’s like a little mam.
My mam rang us yesterday and said, ‘I’ve been laughing at Ava all day.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I was telling her that I am the funniest person in the world and Ava was going, “No, Mam, you’re not funny at all. Anthony in our class is funnier than you. He has never told a joke in his life, and he is still funnier than you.”’
Because Ava is so angelic and smiley, she just gets away with it. I’ll go in the house, and she’ll say, ‘You look different, don’t you?’
‘Oh, in what way?’
‘Just in certain ways.’
‘Don’t prolong this, Ava, just say it.’
‘No, no, Mam always tells me that if I haven’t got anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.’
Or my mam will ask, ‘Do I look fat?’
And Ava will reply, ‘I wouldn’t say you’re “not” fat, but you’re definitely not a fatty. No honestly, Mam, you’re not fat – you are just … easier to see.’
‘Oh.’
Some of my friends have got kids of their own, and I always feel like I’ve got the best of having a child. I get to spend time with her and do loads of fun things. But then I also get to give her back and say to my parents, ‘There you are. I’ve had her for a full weekend.’
She comes down to stay with me in London quite a bit. When I lived in Newcastle, she used to come over for sleepovers all the time. She’s always told Mam that she needs to buy her a big suitcase for her fourteenth birthday. Mam was like, ‘Why?’
‘Because I’m going to live with Scarlett.’
She says that all the time. I don’t know where she’s got fourteen from, but she always says, ‘Remember, for my fourteenth birthday, I want a big suitcase, so I can put all my things in because I’ll be moving in with Scarlett.’
Of course, a big suitcase isn’t going to be enough for all her stuff from her massive bedroom, but she doesn’t care. She’s got two bedrooms now. That’s right, I don’t even get a Harry Potter cupboard now I’m officially an adult. So she’s got her chill-out zone room now.
When I went back home recently, Ava had got loads of these dog stickers and she had stuck them all over the wall of her chill room. She’s got posters of the ‘fluffiest dogs’ top ten. So there are pugs and chihuahuas everywhere. I was like, ‘What is this? I can’t bring the girls round here for pre-drinks when we’ve got these pug stickers staring at us. Jesus.’
So she’s now colonised my room as well. And every time I go home now, she always stops in the bed with me, and we top and tail. So now I can’t even go home and sleep in the bed by myself. You’re made to feel guilty because she’ll knock on the door and say, ‘I’m going to bed now. Can we––?’
‘No, Ava. I just want to sleep by myself.’
‘OK, then. I mean I hardly get to see you, but it’s fine.’
‘It’s just you’re eleven now.’
‘Yeah, it’s fine, I just missed you.’
‘All right then.’ I always give in because she’s such a good guilt-tripper.
On other occasions, Ava will be so dramatic and start coughing and grabbing her throat as if she’s choking.
‘What’s the matter?’ I ask.
‘Nothing.’
‘What are you doing that voice for?’
‘I just feel really dehydrated. My mouth is like a desert.’
‘What do you want to drink then?’ Because she won’t go and get herself one – she’ll just moan and moan and moan.
‘Oh, just get me an orange juice. Two ice cubes.’
And we do it. I mean, we’ve only got ourselves to blame because we do it.
My mam messaged me just this morning about Ava. This is what I mean about my little sister. Mam said, ‘Oh my God, your sister is being a rebel.’ Mam had got an email, saying: ‘Attention, Dear Animal Jam Parent. This email is being sent in regards to your child’s account, Funny Wolf. This email is to inform you that the Funny Wolf account has been suspended for twenty-four hours because of inappropriate behaviour that violated the Animal Jam rules.’
It was something about gifting. You’re not allowed to just ask someone, ‘Can you please give us an animal?’ They’ve just got to give you it. But Ava writes in code. So she will write her request in coded numbers. She’s so good. She learnt from the best.
Animal Jam have sussed her out, though, and suspended her. She is that clever she was creating code words by using a mixture of letters and numbers to get ahead of the game. (For those who don’t know, Animal Jam is like an online outdoors, so for kids who want to learn about adventure and make friends, but virtually.)
She’ll be like, ‘Scarlett, I’ve been so unfairly suspended. Can you sort it?’
‘You shouldn’t disobey the law.’
‘Oh come on, Scarlett, it’s not the real law, it’s Animal Jam law! Send them an email please.’
She is such a little character and she is like me in so many ways. She is quiet and shy until you get to know her properly and then she opens up. She loves facts and conspiracy theories, she strongly believes in time travel and she loves drag queens. Some of my best friends are drag queens – Tess Tickle (Mr Tickle), Emma Royd and Cara O’Hara – so she has grown up around drag. When we have our sister nights we binge-watch Disney, Goosebumps and RuPaul’s Drag Race. I recently got a little bit of stick because for her eleventh birthday I bought her a life-size cut-out of RuPaul, a Michelle Visage book and T-shirts and hoodies that say things like ‘Sashay away’, ‘RuPaul for President’ and ‘May the best woman win’. People said it was inappropriate that Ava even watched drag queens. My reply to that? ‘What, you’ve never seen a pantomime at a young age?’ We all encourage Ava to never judge a
nyone. She loves the glitter, glamour and how fun drag is. I love that she understands that it is OK to be the real you. Whether that’s drag queen, lesbian, gay, transgender or just a kid who loves conspiracy theories like her sister.
Every day I tell her, ‘Be a colourful Fruit Loop in a world full of Cheerios.’ In the words of RuPaul:
‘If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you
gonna love somebody else?’
Chapter Nine
DO YOU NEED A BAG WITH THAT?
Asda’s Merthyr Tydfil store sells the most white socks in the whole of the UK – one pair every six minutes. (Maybe there’s a lot of people who dress up as Michael Jackson in town, who knows?)
In 1644, Oliver Cromwell’s parliament ‘banned’ Christmas – or at least celebrating it – saying that the day should be spent in fasting and remembering the sins of those who had previously turned the day into a feast. (Bet yule never knew that.)
Coronation Street villain Richard Hillman drove his wife Gail into a canal right outside Asda’s Ashton-under-Lyne store, sparking an influx of visitors.
I have had a lot of jobs. From putting the penny sweets into mix-up bags, to retail, to watching the television, to selling mobile phones, to working nine to five in an office. One of the best jobs I had, which I loved, was being a checkout operator at Asda. I got to sit in the swivel grey chair behind my own little counter. I was eighteen and I got £7.80 an hour, which is amazing. Also we lived opposite – actually across the road, literally thirty-two seconds away exactly – from Asda. Plus I suit the colour green.
That’s the main reason why I went for the job – that and the fact that I got 5 per cent off all the shopping for me mam and dad, so I scored extra Brownie points with them, especially at Christmas. If you’re doing a big shop, that’s quite a lot of money, that is.
You had to be eighteen for the job as I wanted to have the power to serve people alcohol. I never really fancied working on stacking shelves or the meat counter; I prefer sitting down to standing up. Plus I’d be nibbling at the pork pies all day. So on my eighteenth birthday I handed my CV in. They sent me an application form a couple of days later. I filled that out and made the next stage: the team interview. We were split into teams and got to talk a bit about ourselves. All the time there are officials there with their Asda badges on, making notes and stuff. It’s soooo nerve-wracking!
Me Life Story Page 8