by Tricia Saxby
Leo had insisted he go up to Nat’s office alone when they’d pulled up in front of Vale Designs. He didn’t remember the elevator ride, but he did remember seeing Karen in her wrinkled sweater dress and disheveled hair, and he couldn’t remember when she’d looked more beautiful.
The room had started swaying, so he’d hitched a hip against the doorframe until things had steadied, but then he’d heard Karen ask Nat about his sister. His stability had crashed to the floor and he’d blurted out his response. For as long as he lived, he’d remember the look on Karen’s face before she walked out of the room.
He hadn’t stayed to talk to Nat, but somehow he’d made it back to Robert, who had been standing inside the foyer with his arm proffered to guide him back to the limo.
How he wanted to sleep…hell, he hadn’t gotten a lot the night before, either. Thoughts of Karen naked and moving above him had his cheeks flushed. He pressed the water glass to each cheek and turned away from the panoramic view.
With a heavy sigh, Leo sat in his favorite reclining chair, reached for a remote, and clicked on the fireplace. Warmth soon filled the room, along with his tired and weary body. Closing his eyes, he expected to see more images of Karen, but his mind was blank and he fell asleep in moments…only to have his slumber broken by persistent knocking.
“Hold on,” he barked, and he slowly made his way to the door.
“Did you forget your key?” He opened the door expecting to see Robert but instead found Natasha, all bombshell knockout, smiling up at him.
She trailed her hand down his chest. “You never did give me a key.”
Leo knocked Natasha’s hand away. “I thought you were Robert.”
“I definitely am not.” She paused. “Can I come in?” Leo stepped aside so she could pass. “I forgot what this place looked like. It’s been a while since you’ve had me over.” She peeled off her gloves and dropped them on the table, followed by her scarf and coat.
“I have a bench in the foyer for all your stuff, Nat.”
“Of course.” She flicked her hand in dismissal and made her way to the wet bar. “What does a girl have to do to get a drink around here?”
Leo returned from dumping her stuff on the floor by the front door. “What would you like?”
“Gin and tonic.”
Her drink of choice. “Coming up. Why don’t you sit down?”
Nat grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch and curled up in the corner closest to the fireplace. Leo watched her tuck her legs under the blanket and wished with all his might that Karen was the one making herself comfortable on his couch, in his home, and in his bed. Why had he never had her over to see his place before?
Because he brought all his flings here, his one-night stands. Karen wasn’t either of those things. He enjoyed her company, and she made him laugh. She genuinely cared about other people, and five years ago she’d cared about him enough to seek out a friendship. Unfortunately, his guilt had outplayed him, stopping him from getting close to anyone back then, his secret uppermost in his mind…always. It controlled his life even now and had ruined any second chance of a future with Karen.
“So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” Leo asked as he handed over her cocktail.
“You didn’t stay to chat after Kara left.”
“It’s Karen, Nat…and I was in no mood to chat.”
“Yes, of course.” She took a sip of her drink and smiled. “Perfect as always.”
Wide-awake and his headache only a numb throbbing, he became antsy and paced the space behind the couch. “We have nothing to talk about.”
“Oh, please.” Natasha had turned in her spot on the couch to watch him pace.
He’d let Karen down. She’d needed him during what she knew was going to be a terrible ordeal. And what had he done? He’d reverted to his old ways and panicked over the past, got drunk, and made a fool of himself. Same old Leo.
Karen was one of the strongest people he knew. His rock. Now it was his turn to be hers. No more living in the past.
“Why are you staring at me like that?” Nat asked.
Leo ran his hand through his hair and down his neck. “You were discussing my sister with Karen.”
“Well, yes, but—” Nat stammered.
“No one talks about my sister but me.”
“Yes, I remember you saying that before, but—”
“No one!” he shouted.
“She said she knew!” Natasha shouted back at him.
“And you believed her?”
“Of course.” Her eyes darted to the window and back to him. The fear was gone, replaced by cocky confidence. Was this a vindictive act against him and Karen for getting stuck at the B&B overnight?
Leo could feel his second wind draining, but his thoughts of Karen kept him going.
“Can I make you a drink?” Natasha stood beside him now and whispered in his ear.
Leo grasped her wrist and pushed her away. “Get out.”
“What?”
“You betrayed my trust and hurt my…Karen. I want you to leave. Now.”
Natasha’s fake hurtful expression magically turned into her famous Wicked-Witch-of-the-West grin. “You are under contract, and I expect—”
“I will finish out my contract with you, and you’ll be loved and envied by all. When this Fashion Hell Week is over, so are we.”
»»•««
Karen pulled back the lapel and pinned it in place. Stepping back, she took in the almost complete look of her newest creation. Anna had been right. Adding the white stripe in the collar and lapel had given the tuxedo dress a sophisticated and feminine look.
Sneaking a peek at the clock on her bedside table, she saw it was midnight. She’d worked nonstop since arriving home, taking no breaks to eat and only having the occasional sip of wine, and time had flown by. Half an hour later, she tied off the stitch she was working on. All she had left to do was attach the cufflinks.
Her heart filled with joy and pride.
Then her brain said, “Now what?”
Karen closed her eyes to stop the tears from falling and then exhaled deeply as they escaped and rolled down her cheeks.
The events of the afternoon were now a blur, but she wished her heart would stop hurting. The ache was deep and consumed her chest and throat so all she wanted to do was cry. Working on the dress had taken all her concentration, and she’d reveled in the long break from overthinking everything that had happened in Natasha’s office.
Desperate to talk to someone, Karen picked up her cell phone and punched in Anna’s phone number. It was only nine thirty in Vancouver.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Anna.” Her voice quivered with emotion.
“Karen! What’s wrong?”
And that was all it took. A flood of tears and babbling nonsense poured out of her as she paced her bedroom and gestured wildly as if Anna could see her frustration and pain.
“I’d be there for you in a second if I wasn’t thirty-six weeks pregnant,” Anna blurted out when Karen finally stopped ranting.
“I know.” Now that all her concerns and fears were out in the open, all her pent-up energy seeped from her body, leaving her tired and weak. “I could really use one of your hugs.”
“What if I send Jace in my place?”
Karen smiled. “As nice as it would be to see him, he’s not you.”
“I am irreplaceable.”
Karen chuckled, easing a bit of the ache around her heart. “Definitely.”
A comfortable silence filled the air between them, but Karen had to ask, “You’re not mad that I quit and lost our ticket into the fashion scene?”
“Of course not. There are plenty of other experts we can approach.”
“Not in New York…”
“What do you mean?”
“Natasha is a nasty witch who will make sure I never get another job in this city.”
“Umm, are you sure you aren’t—?”
“I’m
not overreacting. Trust me.”
“Okay.”
The silence this time was tense, but Karen could picture the wheels turning in Anna’s head.
“Do you think you’ll be able to get into the closing gala?”
Karen grunted. “Not bloody likely.” Well, there could be a way in…if she asked Leo to take her. But that meant seeing him, and her parting words had suggested that wouldn’t happen again. “Why?”
“I have a plan for that dress of yours.”
“Do tell.”
The muffled sound of a door slamming had Karen turning around in surprise. “Someone’s here.”
“Don’t hang up until you tell me who it is,” Anna said.
“Karen, you home?” a male voice shouted.
Karen sighed with relief. “It’s Mike. I’d better go and talk to him. He’s probably freaked out that I didn’t come home last night.”
“As he should be. He’s a good friend.”
“Yes, he is.”
“You still haven’t told me what you’re going to do about Leo,” Anna said in a rush before Karen could end the call.
Karen closed her eyes as the familiar ache intensified. “I thought for a second that maybe he’d changed, but he’s an insensitive moron who thinks only of himself. He’s never going to change, Anna, which makes me even more of a moron for still wanting him.”
“You love him,” Anna whispered.
Heaven help her, she did. “How can I love someone who keeps secrets, breaks promises, and won’t grow up and take responsibility for anything?”
“Go and see him. Make him talk. Find out why—”
“I told him I never want to see him again.”
“Which will show how much you care and will forgive.”
Karen’s stomach started a topsy-turvy dance that was making her nauseous. “I don’t know if I can do that.”
“Are you willing to live with a ‘what if’?”
She headed downstairs to see Mike, pride hardening her heart. “Yes.”
»»•««
The late morning sunshine warmed Leo’s face as he adjusted his camera lens yet again. This photo shoot should be a simple thing. His crew had taken possession of a heavily treed corner in Central Park for the last shoot before Fashion Week wrapped up the following night with the closing gala. His mission today was to capture nature—the fresh pine scent of the Blue Atlas cedars, the crisp snow under foot, and the rosy red cheeks of the model. Today, the model, Tanya, wore black leggings, tan boots, and a long red winter coat with a fur hood.
The colors complemented the soft green from the cedars, and the bright sunshine hinted at a warm winter wonderland, when in reality it was damn cold.
His fingertips were frozen, which made adjusting his camera nearly impossible. A few choice swear words flowed freely from his mouth as he stomped over to the propane fire pit one of the crew had set up to keep them warm. Rubbing his hands together, he placed them as close to the fire as he could and glanced around him. If Karen had been there, there wouldn’t have been such chaos. True, nothing more serious than some mingling near the coffee station threatened the scene, but Leo had to admit he’d gotten used to Karen’s way of handling a photo shoot. Her confident and caring nature had won everyone’s hearts…except Nat’s. And after the day before, Karen wanted nothing more to do with him. Now that she had no job, she was probably on her way home at that very moment.
Her last words to him rang through his head like a loud gong echoing off the walls, and a stab of guilt hit him hard and fast.
It was all due to a past that refused to stop haunting him. He had to figure out how to deal with Emily’s death and why his family treated him like delicate china. But most importantly, it was time to grow up.
“Figured I’d be the one to say that to you.”
Leo turned to find his brother, Luke, standing a few feet away. Far enough so Leo couldn’t punch him. Typical.
And now he apparently had taken up Karen’s bad habit of talking out loud.
“What are you doing here?”
“Glad to see you too.”
A couple of the crew hanging around the fire took their cue and wandered over to the coffee station, giving them some privacy.
Leo stepped closer and embraced Luke in a bear hug. “It’s good to see you.”
“You as well.” Luke tilted his head in recognition of the crew and the shoot set-up. “This suits you.”
“Unlike the family business.”
Luke turned to face the fire and warm his hands. “We’ve always wanted you involved with the wineries.”
Leo sighed. “I know.”
The propane fire didn’t hiss or spit like a wood fire, but it warmed them nonetheless.
“Did Dad send you to check up on me?”
“He mentioned you were quite passionate about that little B&B and wanted to know why. So yes.”
Leo stared into the fire, his lips forming a small smirk. “I got a whole other impression from my little chat with Dad.”
“He had a hard day yesterday. We all did.”
Leo ran his thumb and forefinger across his eyebrows to help relieve the tension headache that threatened there.
“I hated you guys for being gone all the time at one damn winery or another. Always leaving me and Emily alone…”
Leo heard Luke’s deep intake of breath and continued. “First the divorce and then Emily’s freak accident. I was eighteen years old and so frustrated having to be stuck babysitting all the time when my friends were out having the time of their lives.”
“You never mentioned this before.”
“You guys tiptoe around me and treat me like Grandma’s delicate china.” Leo’s voice cracked. “It was my fault she drowned, Luke. Why won’t you get angry with me, or hell, beat me up? I deserve no less.” Leo looked up to see a few of the crew looking over at them. “Go for lunch, everyone,” he called.
Once everyone had cleared out, Luke stepped away from the fire’s heat. “You did everything you could to save her, and in our grief we let you take full blame.”
Leo could see the faraway look in Luke’s eyes and knew he was remembering that day. But not Luke, nor their mom or dad, had been there when it had happened. None of them would be haunted by the blank stare of her lifeless eyes.
Instead of being resentful, as was his nature around his family, Leo felt grateful for his brother’s presence and realized all four of them were mourning Emily in their own way. And after all this time, none of them had the closure they needed to move on.
“I think we need to see a counselor.”
Luke looked up at him, the blank stare disappearing to reveal hope. “You and me?”
“Yes. Mom and Dad too.”
Luke reached in his coat pocket and pulled out a tissue to blow his nose. “This weather is atrocious. My nose hasn’t stopped running since I got here.”
“Nice cover, brother,” Leo said with a grin.
“You’ve been dealing with this on your own for much too long,” Luke said, ignoring Leo’s jibe and standing a little closer to the fire.
Leo’s grin disappeared as thoughts of Karen returned. “Yes, I have, but that’s my fault as well.”
“You distanced yourself from everyone who cares about you.”
“Yes.” And the one person he had confided in all those years ago had betrayed his trust.
Karen would never do that. Not now or five years ago. Realization dawned as a euphoric sensation took hold, and he knew his heart had always belonged to her.
“So how are we going to fix this?” Luke asked as he pulled a flask out of his pocket.
“Fireball?”
“None other.” Luke twisted off the cap and took a long swig. “Your turn.”
Leo took a smaller sip, still feeling the effects of the day before. “You sticking around for a day or two?”
“If you need me, I’ll be here.”
“You remember Karen Allen?”
Lu
ke’s eyes lit up. “The hottie from college you were ‘friends’ with?”
“Yes, and don’t get any ideas.”
“I would never—”
“Save it,” Leo interrupted. “I hope you brought a tux. You’re my date to the closing gala tomorrow night.”
Leo would get Robert to stop Karen from leaving New York, and then he’d take care of the rest.
»»•««
The white frothy leaf floating on top of her latte disappeared as she stirred in a cube of sugar. Karen took the tiniest bit of pleasure sitting in the coffee shop she’d frequented so much when fetching Natasha her daily beverage.
“Hey, Ms. Allen. I got your text.”
Karen smiled up at Kim as she sat down across from her.
“Do you want anything?”
“Coffee.”
Karen raised her eyebrows in question, and Kim sighed. “Okay, okay. Tea, please.”
Karen signaled a waitress and ordered then turned to Kim. “So, have you spoken with Ms. Vale about your predicament?”
Kim shook her head and stared at the table top. “I’m sure she already knows.”
“Most likely. Frequent vomiting for days on end is a hard thing to hide.”
“I’ve never been so scared in all my life.” A tear streaked down Kim’s cheek, and she wiped it away before it fell to the table. Her tea arrived, and she took a small sip and then leaned back in her chair.
“Scared to tell Ms. Vale about the baby, or to bring a new life into this world all alone?”
“Two for two.” Kim frowned and wiped away another tear.
“Have you seen a doctor?”
“No. It’ll make all of this seem more real.”
“Right.”
“And I’m not ready to deal with real yet.”
Karen closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Why did she seem drawn to the type of person who refused to grow up and accept responsibilities? Well, this time she refused to keep quiet.
“Welcome to the real world, Kim.” With her tone a bit harsh, she had Kim’s attention.
“What?”
“You’re eighteen years old, I get it. But this is the life you chose. You also chose to sleep with a man who wants nothing to do with you or this baby. You need to make a decision now before it’s too late.”