by A. J. Low
“It-is-a-crime-for-me-to-not-be-in-my-own-body,” Watson-in-Moran said.
“I agree,” Moran-in-Watson added.
“Perhaps, but you’re not real people, are you? And our laws haven’t yet caught up to technological advances. So, really, the stakes aren’t all that high. For me, at least,” Bok Joo laughed, flipping her long black hair behind her shoulder.
“Watson and Moran are real people to us,” Nazhar said. “They’re family.”
Bok Joo paused and looked straight at Officer Siva, completely ignoring Nazhar. I thought that was odd. Perhaps she was waiting for him or Inspector Lestrade to comment on her crimeless game? She then she tilted her head and said, “Well then, we’d best get moving, shall we? At the end of every game, there will be a loser. The loser and someone above 12 will have to leave the group.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“They won’t be able to participate or observe any longer. The point of the game is to cull members from your team until eventually, I’m assuming, it’ll just be the strongest member versus me. I hope that person will be you, Sherlock,” Bok Joo said.
“I bet it will be Jimmy,” Wendy whispered. “Because Jimmy wins weird things all the time.”
“It’s true, remember that time I won the giant bar of chocolate just by sneezing? It was amazing!” Jimmy replied.
“And remember, because I can see everything you’re doing, I will know if you’re rigging the games so that Sherlock wins everything and is the last member standing,” Bok Joo continued. “The games have to be played fair and square or they will be forfeit. The consequences of that, as you well know, will not be pleasant for your robots.”
“Jimmy also won that race when he rolled down the hill after tripping into that hole, remember?” Nazhar added, as if Bok Joo hadn’t spoken. She narrowed her eyes.
“Your team clearly lacks focus, Sherlock,” the Mysterious Mastermind commented, “but that might help you in the next ten minutes or so.”
“Meaning?” Eliza asked.
“We’re going to play a little bonus game. No one will be cut after this game,” Bok Joo said.
“Okay, what’s the game?” Wendy asked.
“It’s called the Meong Game. At least that’s what I call it, but you can think of it as the Nonsense Game.”
“The what?” I asked.
“The Nonsense Game, Sherlock,” Bok Joo replied. “I’ll ask you questions and the replies that you give me have to make absolutely no sense whatsoever.”
“You mean they need to make sense,” I said.
“No, they can’t make sense,” Bok Joo answered.
“But that makes no sense,” I replied.
“Exactly,” she said.
“What?” I said.
There was a moment of silence in the van.
“So we’re supposed to answer with nonsense?” Jimmy asked. His eyes were bright and shiny. “I can do that!”
“Wow. It’s like a game made for Jimmy,” Dad whispered to Mom, who nodded.
“Are grown-ups not allowed to play this too?” Inspector Lestrade asked. “I am asking because it seems like a fun game. Not that I am enjoying this situation at all of course. It is merely an observation.”
“Grown-ups and robots are not allowed to play. We’ll start with Jimmy, then Nazhar, Wendy, Eliza, and lastly Sherlock. Remember, all of you need to get the answers right or you won’t get the clue,” Bok Joo said.
“You mean get the answers wrong,” Wendy said.
“Right,” Bok Joo replied.
“Wait,” my sister said, furrowing her brow.
“No, let’s not start this again,” Eliza muttered under her breath.
“No, no, I got it. I just forgot who is supposed to go first,” Wendy said. “Can we just sit in the right order so we don’t get confused?”
Bok Joo was silent for a moment, then she nodded.
I gave my sister a thumbs up as we shifted our respective seats. Watson’s form remained in front so that Moran could continue to project Bok Joo’s hologram, but the grown-ups and Watson-in-Moran shifted to the last rows. Wendy’s suggestion was excellent. The last thing we needed was to mess up by answering in the wrong sequence. Bok Joo must have thought of that when she called our names out in that particular order. I was just surprised that she gave in to Wendy’s request so easily.
“First question to Jimmy,” Bok Joo said, “What is your favourite colour?”
“Chickens are people too!” Jimmy shouted. He grinned triumphantly.
“What is the first thing you do every morning?”
“Er, er, ninjas aren’t real!” Nazhar said. He slumped in his seat in relief after.
“Who do you like more, your mother or your father?”
“Data roaming is expensive!” Wendy cried. Dad immediately nodded.
“Who is your favourite actor?”
“The sun is brighter than the moon,” Eliza replied, deadpan as always.
“What is four plus two?”
I was going to reply, but then I wondered if it was a trick question. Was I supposed to say 42? No, wait, I wasn’t supposed to give the right answer. So I should say 42 and not six. Or was I supposed to—
“Time’s up, Sherlock,” Bok Joo said with a smirk.
I was stunned. My brain just would not allow me to give a random answer.
“You couldn’t stop yourself from trying to logic it out, could you?” she continued.
“You should have just said, ‘I love chicken wings’, Sherlock,” Jimmy whispered.
“Or ‘robots are cool’,” Watson-in-Moran said.
“Could we...could we please have one more try?” Wendy asked.
Bok Joo thought for a while and said, “Okay, but just one more chance. And this will be the only time I will give you an extra chance.”
I really had to think this time. Or rather, not think.
“Same order,” Bok Joo said. “Ready?”
Everyone except me nodded.
“Okay, Jimmy, what do you think about chickens?”
“Benjamin the Hamster doesn’t like Benjamin the Cat very much!” Jimmy shouted.
“Where do ninjas come from?”
Nazhar’s face contorted in anger, but he managed to say, “42!”
“What is more expensive than data roaming?”
“Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s dad!” Wendy said.
“Spoilers!” Inspector Lestrade shouted from the back.
We stared at her.
“What? I have not had time to watch them all yet,” she said.
Bok Joo ignored her. “What things can you find in the sky?
“I really need a manicure,” Eliza said, actually looking at her nails.
And then it was my turn. I didn’t know if I would be able to suppress my logic.
“Sherlock, what is your favourite food?”
Prata! Chicken rice! Satay! Tacos! Obento! Argh! I was taking too long again.
“Quantum phenomena only appear random because we do not yet fully understand how to measure and observe them!” I felt lightheaded and very hungry.
Everyone was stunned, even Bok Joo.
“We won!” Jimmy shouted. “Take that, Hamster Mastermind!”
“The game’s over, Jimmy,” Bok Joo said. “You can stop saying nonsense things.”
“Never!” Jimmy grinned.
Bok Joo smiled. “I’m very impressed, Sherlock. You were able to suppress your logic… Sort of.”
“And we get a clue now, correct?” I asked.
“Yes, and here it is. I will only say it once, so pay attention.”
We all leant in.
“Shopping,” Bok Joo said.
“What?” Eliza asked. “That could mean anywhere! That’s not a clue!”
“The game rules are the game rules,” Bok Joo said. “Good luck at Video Game Alley.”
And with that, she vanished. Moran blinked Watson’s eye a few times.
“It really cou
ld mean anywhere,” Eliza said. “This a big urban city, with stores everywhere.”
If all her clues were going to be as vague as this first one was, we would have no chance of finding her.
“She’s smart, son,” Dad added, as if he could read my mind. “But I know you’re smarter. And you have a good heart.”
“That’s right, Sherlock,” Jimmy said. “You’ll totally win at video games!”
Nazhar and Wendy nodded.
They were right. The Mysterious Mastermind had won this bonus round by giving us a ridiculous clue, but we would find her, and we would put our robot friends back in their rightful bodies.
CHAPTER THREE
The driver dropped us off in front of a large building and drove off without a word.
“Maybe he’ll come back when we’re done?” Eliza asked.
Officer Siva shrugged. “Hopefully, but I assume he’s working on Bok Joo’s orders, so it will ultimately be up to her.”
I had been looking at the building in front of us. It looked a bit run-down, almost like one of the industrial buildings back in Singapore. There were some shops in front and two entrances that led into long alleys, and a large billboard for a new cool-looking superhero game called Chicken Wing.
“I guess that’s where we should go,” I said.
“They do look like alleys,” Eliza said.
We took the alley to the left and saw many handphone shops and repair centres, but there were only a couple of video game shops. Almost everything was closed.
“This doesn’t really look like a ‘video game alley’,” Officer Siva said, scratching his head.
“Perhaps it is the other alley, Master Sherlock?” Moran-in-Watson suggested. We walked over using one of the small connecting hallways between the two alleys, but the other area had even fewer shops that were open, and even then, they only sold mobile phones.
“Maybe we’re in the wrong place?” Nazhar asked.
“But there are a lot of video game ads!” Jimmy exclaimed, pointing at the huge posters on the walls showcasing recent popular games.
“But they could just be for the few shops that are open on the other side?” Officer Siva said. “Or maybe everything’s just closed right now, and will open later.”
“I don’t think Bok Joo would send us to wrong place, or at the wrong time,” I said. “It’s here, we just don’t know where exactly.”
“Sherlock-look,” Watson said. He pointed with Moran’s hand at a girl walking down a staircase near the alley’s entrance, where we had been dropped off.
We went down the staircase in time to see the girl walk through a set of double doors into video game paradise. We followed her in and saw stacks and stacks of new and retro games being sold by various stalls. Most of the new games were in Korean, but there were a few in English. The retro games were in English and Japanese. The upper levels were just a facade; down here was where the action was.
There were also a lot of retro consoles to go with the games, like a Spectrum ZX, an Atari 2600, lots of original Famicom and NES systems, and a SEGA Master System, which I was especially excited to see. Mom would often tell us about a game called Wonder Boy in Monster Land that she used to play on that system. She and her friends would huddle around a SEGA Master System and try to beat the game. She said she was a Nintendo fangirl through and through, but SEGA still had some pretty great games.
“I think Sherlock’s talking to himself in his head about all the games he’s seeing,” Nazhar pretended to whisper.
“As long as he keeps it in his head,” Eliza stage-whispered back.
I glared at the both of them.
“So, where are we supposed to play?” Wendy asked, looking around. “I really hope it’s Splatoon.”
“It took you long enough,” Bok Joo said, suddenly appearing in front of Watson’s form. Two boys who had been looking through some PS4 games were startled at Bok Joo’s abrupt appearance. “Please walk down to the end of the alley.”
She disappeared again.
We headed down the underground alley, our heads swivelling back and forth, trying to take in all the video games, consoles and various other game-related products. Mom saw a few more Master Systems and she kept pointing them out to Dad. I would be very surprised if we didn’t have a new console by the end of this. Or was that an old console? Inspector Lestrade, meanwhile, was looking over every customer and employee carefully, presumably to make sure they weren’t Bok Joo in disguise. It was difficult for her since most of them were wearing face masks to protect their faces from the cold.
When we reached the end of the alley, we saw a mountain of cardboard cartons. Most of them were flattened, but a few had already been assembled. There were numerous stacks of flat cardboard arranged around a bored-looking auntie holding an airhorn.
Bok Joo appeared again and said, “Welcome to your first challenge!”
She waited for something, then said, “Really, no applause? You guys have no showmanship.”
I had a sneaky suspicion that we were not going to be playing video games after all. I gulped.
“Please-do-not-delay,” Watson-in-Moran said. “It-is-bad-enough-you-are-violating-my-systems-like-this. Please-do-not-also-lengthen-the-timeI-have-to-spend-in-a-body-not-my-own.”
“Fair enough,” Bok Joo said. “Your challenge: build 20 sturdy cardboard boxes so the ajumma can ship her orders even more quickly. The first four to complete this challenge will receive an envelope with a clue, and the last one will be asked to leave. The friendly ajumma will decide if a box is sturdy enough.”
I looked at the auntie—she did not look particularly friendly or inclined to help us. I wondered what her arrangement with Bok Joo was.
“Wait, what? We’re not playing video games?” Eliza asked, spinning around to look at the projection of Bok Joo. “I’ve never made a box in my life.”
We looked at her.
“Haven’t you ever moved house before?” Wendy asked. “Or wrapped a Christmas present?”
“Yes, but professional movers came and did everything for us. And presents come wrapped from the store, right?” Eliza replied, wincing slightly. She looked somewhat sheepish, not an expression that often crossed her face.
Wendy quickly ran through the basics of box making with Eliza, who looked confused but kept nodding.
“How much tape is too much tape? Do I use one roll for each box I make?” Eliza asked Wendy, who looked somewhat startled at her friend’s questions.
That did not bode well for Eliza’s chances in this game.
“Please go to your stations,” Bok Joo said with a grin.
We arranged ourselves in front of the five stacks of flattened boxes. The auntie held up her airhorn, still looking somewhat bored. Bok Joo’s projection stood in front of us, with Watson’s form facing us.
“You can start when the ajumma—”
Bok Joo was cut off by an ear-shatteringly loud TOOT that made everybody in Video Game Alley jump. The ajumma finally cracked a small smile. She gripped the airhorn like a weapon.
I started making boxes as quickly as I could. I knew Wendy and I would be okay at this task since we had learnt to do this the last time we shifted house. Mom had decided we were old enough to help that time, and so we grumpily made a billion boxes. Okay, that’s not true, we probably only made like 50 boxes, but still. It was a lot.
“I’m done!” Jimmy shouted.
“What? We just started!” Eliza said, huffing a stray lock of hair away from her eyes. “How is that possible?”
“Sometimes my mom has a big order that she has to send out very quickly, so I help her make boxes and pack the orders,” Jimmy replied, grinning. He was bouncing with energy. He could probably have made a hundred boxes and not broken a sweat.
Sure enough, he had 20 sturdy boxes stacked up neatly in two rows of 10. Even the auntie was staring at his work incredulously.
The rest of us continued making boxes at a regular speed. Well, except for Eliza. She
had made three boxes compared to Wendy’s 10, my eight and Nazhar’s seven, and the auntie did not seem impressed by her efforts. Eliza’s boxes looked as if a sneeze would flatten them.
After a few more minutes, Wendy announced that she had finished and plonked down on the floor, still holding on to a roll of tape, looking exhausted. A few minutes after that, I finished, with Nazhar close behind. Eliza was still on her seventh not-very-good box.
The auntie blew the airhorn again, startling everybody in Video Game Alley for the second time. She looked very pleased with herself.
“Good job, everyone,” Bok Joo said, her hologram appearing again. “Well, except for you, Eliza.”
“This was a stupid game,” Eliza said, her eyes narrowed. One of her braids had come undone—it was a first. Eliza had been bested by cardboard.
“Let’s not be a sore loser, Eliza,” Bok Joo said. “But since you lost, you and an adult will have to leave the group. Which grown up is it going to be?”
Officer Siva immediately stepped forward. “I’ll go with her.”
“That’s very magnanimous of you, Deputy Superintendent,” Bok Joo said.
“Does she think he’s a rodent made of molten rock?” Jimmy asked.
“What?” Wendy said.
“Mag-na-ni-mous, Jimmy,” Eliza said. “Not Magma Mouse. It basically means being a good person.”
“What are we going to do without our Jimmy Whisperer?” Wendy asked.
“Not to mention the only one of us who can participate and read a map,” Nazhar added.
“Hey, I can read a map,” I said.
“Not as well as Eliza can,” Nazhar replied.
“You’ll be fine, guys, I promise,” Eliza said, re-braiding her hair. She patted me on the shoulder.
“Now, Deputy Superintendent,” Bok Joo said, “don’t think that you can bring in reinforcements just because you won’t be with the group. I won’t lie and pretend I can monitor your phone calls, but I will be able to tell if there are suddenly more INTERPOL agents in Seoul, at which point I will simply disappear again. So just enjoy your time in the city and eat some tteokbokki or something.”