The Axeboy's Blues (The Agents Of Book 1)

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The Axeboy's Blues (The Agents Of Book 1) Page 23

by Andy Reynolds


  “Any time,” said Edith.

  He folded himself back up through the window, balancing on the branch that should have broken underneath him, and then was gone.

  Adelaide smirked and raised an eyebrow. “Quite the friend you've made.”

  “Yeah,” said Edith, trying to hide her smile by taking a long drink of her coffee.

  File 39 :: [Julius Marcos]

  Swing music played from the speakers as Julius walked up to the outside tables of Le Croissant Cité. He was not as slow as he'd been the day before – the false leg was growing on him. According to Roman he'd be able run before long, but Julius heavily doubted that. As it was, he still had to walk with a cane.

  Looking through the window he saw Edith talking to her employees and gesturing to a giant antique stove that took up part of the inside lobby. Adelaide and Roman and Mars were all seated at a table, both of the ladies with drinks. Edith saw Julius, then said something to her employees and walked outside. “Do you need anything do drink, Julius?”

  Julius shook his head and she sat down, placing one of Roman's devices on the table – the one Roman had given her to keep her from getting sucked through time. Julius kept standing. He would have to reprimand Edith for leaving the device with her friend and putting her life (and thus the city's fate) at risk, but that would have to wait until all of this was over with.

  Mars looked around. “Should we be including Scape and F... I mean The Function?”

  “What do you mean, The Function?” said Adelaide. “He's dead. Right?”

  “I knew it!” said Mars, pounding her hand on the table. “He was around in the '30s, wasn't he? Freaking jerk...”

  “It's a... long series of stories,” Roman said to Adelaide. “I'll tell you if we have time.”

  “There won't be time,” said Julius. “And we're not calling him and Scape in. We've got this handled. And the city's better off with them out there doing their jobs while our efforts are focused on The Axeboy.”

  “I've banished him from my shop anyway,” said Edith. “So if we did meet with him, it would have to be somewhere else.”

  “Duly noted,” said Julius. Then he looked at Adelaide. “What have you got?”

  “It's hard to say so far,” said Adelaide. “My theory is that The Axeboy is taking his victims to the spirit world before killing them, so there are no bodies which would call attention to the murders.”

  “And since any murders would have taken place in the last twenty-four hours,” added Edith, “mainly last night, and since many musicians tend to be night people, no missing persons have been reported yet. They probably won't be considered missing by their friends and family until tonight at the earliest.”

  “I've found faint traces of the trumpet music that follows him,” said Adelaide, “more around Frenchman Street than Bourbon Street. There were also sounds of struggle, but unfortunately they occurred when we'd left Frenchman to walk Bourbon for a couple of hours. I believe that he's killed at least three trumpet players. And judging by his previous patterns, I think he will try Frenchman again. He tends to milk the areas that work for him.”

  “So you two will stake out Frenchman again this afternoon and tonight,” said Julius.

  Adelaide nodded.

  “What about this Trumpet Fest?” asked Julius.

  Edith took the poster that had been taped up to the window next to her shop's front door and unrolled it onto the table. “This is just down the street.” She gestured towards Fulton Street. “And it's in three days.”

  Julius shook his head and took a deep breath. “Alright,” he said. “We concentrate our efforts on apprehending The Axeboy before the festival. If we fail to do so, then we stake out the festival and hit him there. Edith and Adelaide, you sweep Bourbon and Royal and follow any leads before Frenchman becomes active this afternoon. Roman and I will make sure that Mars has got the movie set all worked out, and then the two of us will be on your heels, combing The Quarter. Any problems or questions?”

  No one spoke.

  “Good. Let's stop this kid.”

  He looked towards the front door of the shop as one of Edith's employees came out holding a phone. “Sorry, Edith? This seems weirdly important.”

  Edith looked from him to Julius. “Sorry, Julius!”

  “It's alright, we're done here.”

  Her employee bent down spoke to her. “It's a film crew. They say they're going to be here in an hour to film a commercial? Do you know what that's about? They say it's sponsored by The Wellington Bank?”

  “Oh, crap,” she said.

  Roman leaned towards Edith. “Be careful with digital phones.”

  “Jason,” she said, not taking the phone from him. “The Wellington Bank is... sponsoring us. I guess they want to do a commercial. Can you take care of it? Just give them drinks and have the staff tidy up a little. It'll be a cinch.”

  Jason sighed and nodded. “Me and you. Hanging out, with drinks and a lot of talking and explanations.”

  “Yes! Within the week!”

  He began walking back inside when Edith jumped up and caught his arm. “And Jason, I forgot. This is Mars.”

  Mars got to her feet. “Hi Jason. I kind of know you from hanging out here.”

  Jason smiled, but seemed tired. “Yes, I remember you.”

  “She's going to be getting a bunch of drinks,” said Edith. “Don't charge her for them.”

  Jason nodded. “Got it,” he said, then walked back inside.

  Julius looked at Roman. “Let's go on ahead. We'll send a couple of people back here to help Mars carry drinks.”

  Roman got to his feet and they walked off towards the movie set.

  File 40 :: [Roman Wing]

  Roman paced back and forth inside the quarantine zone among the people from 1934, eating Wonder and studying the different colors of energy laced through the air. He just knew that the answer was right in front of him – a way in which to speed up the process of finding the people from the past. They couldn't keep wasting their time here, not while The Axeboy was loose and attempting to call back his father.

  Then suddenly he found the answer, staring him right in the face like he'd predicted.

  He left the quarantine zone and found Mars at the edge of the very passable false movie set, with several of her Noisician friends already at work guarding the area from onlookers. Without telling her why, he asked her to come with him, leading her quickly towards The French Quarter. Mars had to jog to catch up with him a couple of times. Soon they were weaving through the thickening throngs of pedestrians and closing in on Canal Street.

  “Mars, could you get us one of those pedicabs? I would, but I tend not to be noticed.”

  “Sure thing.” Mars stepped off the curb. “Yo! Grady!”

  A gruff, bearded man wheeled a red pedal-driven passenger cart right up to them. His blue eyes were as kind as his beard was long. Tattoos waltzed and pirouetted down his arms and across his hands. “What's up, Mars,” said the driver. “How've you been?”

  “Oh, you know, saving the world as always. In a hurry, lookin' for a ride.”

  “Well, it's the world's lucky day.” Grady waved them into the seats. “I happen to have an empty pedicab.”

  “So you do,” said Mars as she slid into the seat behind Grady, followed by Roman. “How convenient.”

  “Where will you be saving the world on this fine afternoon?”

  “Jackson Square,” said Roman.

  “Jackson Square,” he repeated, “coming right up.” Grady started pedaling them across the bustling Canal Street and into The Quarter.

  “So, boss, why are we going to the Square?” asked Mars.

  “Julius and I are not making any progress.”

  “I noticed. Well, to be fair, you're doing alright. But Julius seemed pretty frustrated this morning about how things were going.”

  “Do you know what I am?”

  He saw the meaning of his question dawn in her eyes. “No.”

/>   “I am half-human and half-Collector. I assume you know of the Collectors?”

  “The invisible goblins? You're one of them? That's so cool!”

  “I... suppose it is.” He wasn't really sure how he felt about being referred to as part “goblin”. He'd encountered a wide variety of emotions from people regarding his race, but never excitement. “Well as you probably know, the Collectors gather and eat the Wonder that grows from people in the city. I tasted some of the Wonder from one of the displaced people from the '30s, and being from another time, the Wonder had a distinctly different flavor. I am going to enlist the aid of the Collectors to help us round up the rest of the people from 1934. The Collectors should be able to identify the displaced people and deliver them to the time rip much faster than Julius and I.”

  “How did you gather the people before? You know, on the other side of the skip?”

  “People from this time period going back to the '30s are usually much more displaced than people from the '30s coming here. Here, people from the '30s get lost in the crowd, but back then, finding someone wearing clothes from this time period was no problem at all.”

  “Makes sense. Hey, is it just me or are all the cars weirdly getting out of our way?”

  Indeed, the cars were turning right or left in front of their pedicab, Grady barely having to stop or slow down all the way to Jackson Square. Even the pedestrians were not crossing the street in front of them.

  “The Agents work very closely with Serendipity,” said Roman, “and she often makes things run a little smoother for us, especially when the stakes are high.”

  Mars watched as everything continued to get out of their way. “Makes you feel kinda like Moses.” She waved her hands as if she were pushing all the cars and people this way and that. “Almost makes up for the no-cell-phone thing. Who's dumb idea was that?”

  “Cell phones just never worked for us. It hasn't been much of a problem, and they haven't really been around that long.”

  “Yeah, you can say that cause you're at least like ninety years old, right? No, wait, you'd have to be at least a hundred? I guess you get the age thing from the goblin half...”

  “I guess so,” said Roman, using a human expression as a joke. Mars didn't notice.

  They pulled up to the Square and the pedicab slowed to a halt. Grady told them some amount of money which meant little to Roman. Roman dismounted the cab, took the man's hand and looked into his eyes – past his eyes. He sifted through the emotions and thoughts there, and he felt the boy's body loosen up. With his free hand Roman took half a piece of Wonder from his coat pocket and put it into Grady's hand. “This is for your artwork.” Roman didn't know exactly what the man's artwork consisted of, but he'd seen it there in the boy's eyes like a pillar of light with Halloween decorations hanging around it. “Use a sharp knife. Eat a two centimeter sliver at a time, only once every couple of days. And don't expect to sleep when you do – you'll be too busy creating to sleep.”

  Grady nodded and Roman led Mars quickly into the Square, past the shoe shiners and tarot card readers and brass band, towards the little alley between the Cabildo and the Saint Louis Cathedral.

  “Holy hell!” said Mars. “That was some serious Jedi shit right there! I feel kinda bad, but it was awesome! Can you teach me that?”

  “No. It would be like a bird trying to teach you to fly.”

  “Oh. Wait, were you just mean to me?”

  “I did not mean to be. I was just trying to be clear.”

  Mars shrugged. “I wouldn't mind you being snarky every so often. It would actually suit you, in a way.”

  They walked down Pirates' Alley and up to the brick wall between the bar and the book store. Roman took a couple bites out of a piece of Wonder, letting it start to flip his atoms like millions of tiny coins.

  “Oh,” whispered Mars. “The Wonder makes you turn more goblin, doesn't it?”

  Roman stretched his body as the colors all around him began inverting themselves. “Now Mars, you must keep your wits about you when dealing with Collectors, especially when I'm not around. They'll try and trick you into agreeing to any manner of things – some of which will be silly and harmless while others could be dangerous or life-altering. But whatever it is you agree to do, you must fulfill your promise. A verbal agreement with them is extremely strong and binding.”

  Mars nodded. “Got it.” He could tell that she was unnerved by the change in him, yet that very change caused him not to care much at all about what she thought.

  Roman put his hand on the pipe that ran vertically along the wall and twisted his palm against it. The pipe turned and the wall opened before them and he led them through, staying close to Mars to make sure the wall didn't close on her. They walked through the thin hallway and into the entry room full of couches. The room would be dim to Mars, but the Wonder let Roman see without using his eyes much at all. There were several Collectors either lounging or crouched atop the backs of the couches. Their forms breathed and shifted, and if Roman were all human he supposed he might describe them as both beautiful and horrifying – but since he wasn't all human, he just thought of them as estranged family.

  One of the doors to the room opened and a thin, wiry Collector sauntered into the room. Her shirt was a garment of strung-together trinkets – everything from Mardi Gras throws to pieces of bicycles to busted electronics to ballet shoes – and she wore a skirt made of small window shutters, small enough to have been pried off the attic windows that top many of the houses throughout the city. One could hear her fashion choices when she walked.

  “I can't see them,” whispered Mars.

  “You have to look away from them to see them,” said Roman. “Watch them out of the corner of your eyes. And be warned, they might jump out and try to scare you, but they won't hurt you. Not as long as I am here.”

  “Charging admission now?” said the Collector who had walked in. “We're like the zoo. You only come and see us so you can show us off. Animals in their natural habitat. Fifty percent off. Free T-Shirt with proof of purchase. Mail in rebate.”

  “This is Mars,” Roman said to the room. “She is my apprentice. She is one of The Agents Of, who are the new Agents. When you speak to her, you are speaking to me.” Then he turned to Mars and motioned to the Collector who walked in. “Mars, this is Thing Moss. My sister.”

  Mars' eyes widened, then she nodded and stuck out her hand vaguely in the direction of Thing Moss. “Pleased to meet you,” she said, but Roman pushed her hand back down.

  Thing Moss walked up to Mars. “Now you know my true name. So you must give me three secrets. That is our way, and has been since the beginning of time.”

  “That's not true,” said Roman. “Don't tell her anything.”

  “It is true,” said one of the other Collectors.

  “Truer than true,” said another.

  Thing Moss looked up at Roman and scowled. “Always the same!” she spat, poking his chest with her long, bony finger. “Mister half of one thing and none of the other! You don't even know our ways!”

  “I need a favor.” Roman knew that the word “favor” was like a magic spell among the Collectors. The mood of the whole room shifted, like they were all holding their breath and tasting what he would say next. He walked over to the coffee table between all of the couches. There was a partially constructed jigsaw puzzle spread out over it – or rather there were parts of many jigsaw puzzles all being put together as one puzzle. There probably weren't two pieces that were shoved together that were actually from the same puzzle. He unfolded a map of The Central Business District, laying it carefully over the puzzle so as not to disturb it.

  Roman took out a few pieces of wonder and tossed them around the room to the Collectors, tossing the last one to his sister. “I need the people whose Wonder tastes like this. I need you to deliver them here.” He used a pen to circle where the time rip was.

  “And what do zoo animals get for this?” asked Thing Moss.

 
“Well, it's like a scavenger hunt,” said Roman. “Whomever delivers more of these people into this little square of space gets forty-two boxes of cracker jacks, as well as the prizes inside. Since I am hiring you to do this, I will split the profits fifty-fifty with whichever one of you helps out the most. That amounts to twenty-one bags of crackerjacks, along with twenty-one prizes.”

  Thing Moss smelled the piece of Wonder in her hand. “Sixty-forty, and you owe us big.”

  “Owe you? I merely found out about this scavenger hunt and thought you'd want in.” He began folding up the map. “I don't need your help, I was just being nice. I'll go ask the riverwalkers.”

  Thing Moss snatched the map out of his hand, peering at him like she didn't trust him. “Seventy-thirty, and... you owe us a little.” She held her hand up between them with her thumb and finger barely spread apart to show him just how little he would owe them.

  Roman took the Wonder and the map out of her hands. “It was good to talk to you. I'll see you at the next family reunion.” He looked around at the other Collectors. “Good afternoon.” He motioned for Mars to follow him out.

  “That's it?” she said. “We're going?”

  Roman nodded and led them down the hallway. “Yes. Most people don't know this, but the riverwalkers actually very fond of crackerjacks. They have a whole building full of the toys. It makes more sense to ask them to help, I just wanted to ask my family first.”

  The wall opened and they walked out into Pirates' Alley and towards Jackson Square, with the river not far beyond. “You'll like how we get there. You're good at holding your breath, right?”

  Just then several of the large square stones that served as the ground of Jackson Square flipped up like doors with Collectors crawling up out of them. Thing Moss landed from above on the crooked light post which served as the street sign for Pirates' Alley, slid down and snatched the map and Wonder out of Roman's hands. “Seventy-thirty,” she said. “And you owe us... nothing.”

 

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