“Course I do! Shit. It hurts, G, thinking about walking out that door. I don’t wanna be away from you for one second. In fact, all I wanna do is run away with you and hide forever. Fuck all this.” I pushed a hand through my loose hair, trembling. “But I can’t have you risking your life for mine. You deserve—”
“I deserve what? Better? Better than you?”
“Yeah.”
“Is that really what you’re saying?”
My shoulders slumped forward in defeat. “I don’t know what I’m saying.”
He came over, pulling me into his solid embrace. “I’d run with you to the edges of the earth. I really would. Icky head or not.”
“I know.” I nestled my face against his bare skin, wrapping my arms around his waist. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t say I deserve better, okay?” he said, running his hand up and down the back of my T-shirt. “I want you, all of you, to walk out the other side of this with your hand in mine. Go and hide and have loads of sex and cookies.”
“That sounds nice.”
“Really nice.”
Tears threatened to leak. “I don’t know what to do.”
“You’re right. We need to save your uncle, but this isn’t the way to do it. You’re too valuable. No one else can do what you do. You have to live and not be cut down before you have a chance to save the world.”
“I hate it.” Weak moments brought out stupid doubt. “Really fucking hate it.” Doubt was fleeting, though. I’d come too far.
We all need to let ourselves have wobble moments. You know, to make sure the foundations of our resolve don’t crumble.
Look at me with the philosophical shite! Had I tapped into an understanding of my vulnerability?
Ugh. Didn’t wanna dwell on that. I left that for the real thinkers, not little katana-toting me.
Saving the world had to come first. Everyone died if I fucked up.
“Uncle Ryoka’s not dead,” I said. “If he’s not dead, then they need him.”
“To lure you, Aki.”
I broke away from, tilting my head upwards. “What? How? They don’t know I can sense the way I do.”
“I’ve been thinking about this and came to Phi.”
“What about her?”
“She knows about your senses. When Zach felt you through that connection you had, he registered your abilities.”
Yep. He had picked up on Bob and Rose that time when he was still elf/wolf. It’d saved our arses from Violet. We’d had a conversation about it with Phi at the table. Sort of. It was more him saying he was aware of them, that they’d gone to him for help. Part of our blood bond, I guess, before he’d lost his power. Didn’t know if anything like it would work again. The convo hadn’t been a long, and I’d kept the info to a minimum.
“Hang on, G. You’re saying that the elves know I can sense my uncle?”
“Yes. I think Phi has divulged this information.”
“But how? Not how. I mean, she doesn’t know enough.”
He touched my chin, rubbing my stubble with his thumb. “I’ve been mulling over this theory. I do believe what your dad was saying about getting information from your uncle because I don’t believe Xavier would betray you, no matter if his realm is dying or not. But I can’t say the same for Phi.”
“Shit.”
“She’s hurting for Zach.”
“But she doesn’t know enough.”
“Maybe not, but somewhere along the line, I think someone has put pieces together about you and how you work. For one, they know you can’t shift. Not exactly a secret. They want you to go over there.”
“This is sweaty balls.”
“Sweaty balls?”
“The worst kind. Don’t you just hate a sticky sack in the summer, when you can’t get comfy at all and have to sit naked in front of a fan and let the balls hang out and get a lick of breeze?”
“I think we’re diverging too much here.”
Defo! “Er, sorry. Basically, I’m saying this is mega annoying. If that’s what they’re doing, that’s scary. I was gonna run straight into that trap. Fuck. My head hurts.” I winced. “Sorry, insensitive. Shouldn’t say that to you.”
“It’s fine.”
“Selfish.”
“Wanting to save your uncle isn’t selfish. There just has to be a better way of doing it.”
“How?”
“I don’t know.”
“I’m such a dick. I’d have been killed. Then what? Everyone doomed.”
He pushed a lock of hair behind my ear. “You’re not running out on me now?”
“No. Can’t say I don’t wanna—not the running out on you bit, but the rescuing Ryoka.”
“I know.”
“You didn’t correct me calling myself a dick.”
“Nope.” That wicked grin made my knees go weak.
“Well, it’s the truth.”
“You’re so stupid.”
“I know.”
I put my face back to the comfort of his chest. “Can we stay like this a bit longer?”
“Sure thing, Aki.”
* * *
Amazingly, I didn’t put my plan into action. I stayed put and drove myself crazy some more. G was right, the calming force to my not-so-calm ways.
Sleep was eons away, though.
There had to be a smarter way to save Ryoka. What, though? Dad had used the smart way, the tools at his disposal. I didn’t have a smart idea to hand. Only guns blazing or sneaking in. I was supposed to be a hunter, but with elf magic even strong enough to trick the SCU, and have two rescue teams go missing, I didn’t stand a chance.
Fucking elves.
G’s theory was playing on my mind. Like really chomping down and freaking me out. Phi possibly betraying me? The elves knowing more about me than they should? Bad. Really bad.
Didn’t wanna even consider relaying this to Zach yet.
The bedroom was in darkness, me on my back beside G, both of us still fully dressed, waiting for the call to action. His gentle breathing should’ve been enough to send me off the land of nod. But too wired is too wired.
Sometimes darkness was good, and no natural light was creeping in here from that sealed up window. Not even a trace of other light from the corridor outside the door. Nice. Had to love a blackout space when you were trying to… What was I trying to do? Sleep? Think? Defo didn’t wanna be thinking anymore. I’d go crackers if I kept at it. Stupid elven plot against me. What? Couldn’t blow the shit out of me, so now they were gonna try and lure me outside?
I closed my eyes, shuffling closer to G. He was warm and comforting, and if we’d get to wait like this up until the big moment, then cool. I’d be down for that.
Except I wouldn’t with my uncle still in the hands of those wankers.
Which elves were they? Did they have a leader-type arsehole who worked under The Chief in different cities like the wolves? Not heard of that before. The Chief lived over in Elvenrie, never really coming this side unless she had to.
Different times, different guy.
Ugh.
Just fucking sleep. Come on!
Counting sheep. Who the fuck came up with that? Every time I thought about sheep hopping over a fence, my mouth watered. Lamb cooked to perfection, mint sauce, potatoes, green beans and gravy. Oh, and Yorkshire Puddings. Sheep counting turned into a bloodbath every time.
I was such a meanie carnivore.
Yeah, a meanie carnivore with a boner for some lamb chops.
Forget the sheep. Baking recipes. Yes! Awesome. I could come up with my next masterpiece of sugary goodness. Maybe savory. Yeah. Why not go for some bread thing with olives and cheese? Loved olives, loved cheese (mostly—not the really stinky kind).
Bob and Rose stirred inside.
Huh?
Nothing. Quiet.
“Whatever,” I mumbled. They loved being near G. Probably mega happy at being so close.
Back to the baking. Cheese… Cheesecake. Hadn’t made one
of those in a while. Yeah. What about a yummy cheesecake? Three types of chocolate? Vanilla? What? Nah. Something a bit more crazy… Mojito! Whoa. Now that would be awesome.
A flicker to my right, in the space between the beds, and Bob manifested without me asking him to.
“What the hell?” I rolled onto my side, reaching out to ruffle his head. His ears were pricked, nostrils flaring. He was focused on the bedroom door.
“What’s wrong, buddy?” I asked, sitting up.
He whined and dashed out of the room, pausing in the corridor. No one there.
“Come back,” I said.
He did, sitting on his hind legs again, orange eyes glued to the door.
Rose came out next, sitting beside him in the same position with pricked ears.
Okay. Getting freaked out now. I sent them both out into the corridor. There was definitely nobody there—nobody and nothing lurking in the dark.
I went to look myself. Nothing. I checked the bathrooms, then headed into the living space. Yua and two beefy blokes were sat the table, going through some paperwork and drinking coffee—Bob and Rose, flanking me, really picking up on the strong scent of the beverage. The light had me squinting from all my time in the dark.
The alpha looked up. “Akira? Do you need something?”
“No. I’m good.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Sorry. Just grabbing some water.”
She nodded and got back to work.
I hurried down the other corridor past closed doors towards the kitchen, which was the last door on the right, nodding at the two wolf guards at the end of the corridor protecting the main exit.
“Good evening, sir,” they both said.
“Thirsty,” I said, pushing the kitchen door open.
They left me to it.
I entered the kitchen, flicking on the strip light. Kitchen was empty, all gleaming chrome and smelling of lemon anti-bacterial spray. I got myself a bottle of water from the fridge and made my way back to the bedroom.
Bob and Rose dashed back towards the kitchen as I stepped into the living quarters.
“What the fuck?” I turned and ran after them.
“Akira?” Yua’s voice.
Bob and Rose sat at the end of the corridor, staring at the main exit. The two wolf guards stood with guns in hands, their collars blinking, puzzled.
“Sir?” one of them asked.
I watched my babies. What were they looking at?
“Why are you out here, Akira?” Yua asked from behind me. “You should get yourself as much sleep as you can.”
“Is something out there?” I whispered to my wolves.
They didn’t listen to me, didn’t move.
“Bob? Rose?”
“Who are Bob and Rose?” the alpha asked, coming closer.
A shiver ran up my spine. “Come on, babies. What’s wrong? This isn’t like you. What’s bothering you? Show me.”
“Akira? Who are you talking to?”
I ignored her and all the other voices in the corridor.
Rose turned her head to look at me, whined, then moved her focus back to the exit.
I stepped closer.
“Sir? Please return to bed,” a guard said. “You need to rest.”
“He will,” Yua added sternly. “Akira?”
Ugh. Why couldn’t they fucking shut up?
My babies flickered, and I gasped, staggering back as something sharp shot into my chest.
I fell into open arms. Yua’s.
“Get off me,” I yelled, bursting out of her grip and staggering forward.
The guards tensed, Bob and Rose growling.
“Stop, Akira.” Yua’s command was a powerful burst of sound ricocheting off the walls. “Now. What is going on? Talk to us? Do we need to get you out of here?”
“What? What are you talking about?”
Cold in my chest, spreading. Shivering. Sharp pain again.
“Babies… What…”
They whined and flickered, their gray fur changing. Like the red moon, a spec of metallic silver light on their backs, then it spread, igniting the gray into a sparkling layer of silver scales. So bright. Too bright. They turned to me, on all fours, orange eyes taking on the same silver until it looked like they had no eyes, their entire bodies made from shimmering metal.
“Babies?”
The cold in me slithered up to my neck, into my head, down to my toes, but the place I felt it most was over to the left, right in the heart.
“So fucking cold…” I whispered.
“Akira?”
People moving around me. Voices… Too many voices. Dad’s name?
Bob and Rose returned into me, changed and frosty. No warmth. This body of mine wasn’t a place for sunny, fluffy things. A land of pain and misery, of too much hurt, of too much of the too much of the too much… Suffering… No more suffering. Tired of suffering, of being ordered around…
“What?” I breathed.
“That’s it, Akira,” a voice I didn’t recognize said. Clear as crystal caramel voice. Male. Smooth… so smooth…
“G?”
“So much suffering, so much pain,” the voice said.
Resist. Trick. Someone fucking with me. Had resisted Butcher Hound. Could resist this.
“Cold…” I said softly.
My heart was hurting so bad.
“A cold heart,” the voice. “One of ice that was made for you through the actions of others. Not your own. They did it to you.”
“Akira?” Yua right behind me.
“Think of them,” the voice said, “how they hurt you, how fists met your bones, how they screamed the abuse at you, how your father did nothing, how you never knew your mother. Yes. You saw her, didn’t you? Yes. She was there. You can show me. Show me everything.”
Drifting on caramel tones, blood full of pretty ice crystals as tears rolled down my cheeks.
Tears of rage.
Tears…
Tears…
He was right. Too much hurt. Too much pain.
No. This wasn’t me. I wouldn’t be the dangerous creature. I wanted to help and save and…
“Why, Akira?”
“Because… Because…”
“Listen to your heart.”
“It’s cold in there.”
“Yes. They did this. All of them. Remember Colin, your father, all that you have lost… Yes. The tenshi.”
“Tenshi… They used me.”
“Like a puppet dangling on the end of strings. But you are strong, Akira. Stronger than they understand. Yes, that’s it. Right there, that piece of you. Say it, Akira. Say it out loud.”
“De—” No. This wasn’t right.
“Go on. Cut the strings.”
“We need to get him out of here.” Yua. Behind me.
Bob and Rose growled from within as her hand fell on my shoulder.
I spun, snarling at her. “Get the fuck away from me.”
“That’s enough! Subdue him!”
Guards moving. Muscle coming at me.
“Run, Akira,” the voice said. “Get your weapons.”
Cold. Cold. Cold.
Cold heart.
Get my katanas.
“Say it, Akira…”
“Destruction.”
Chapter Six
I dove out of the way of Yua, then one of her guards. They were all big and fast.
I was small and quick. I hit the floor, rolled, and leaped to my feet.
“Come here!”
I broke out of a guard’s reach as he lunged forward, charging into the living quarters and jumped onto the pool table. I reached for my katanas, calling to them. They were trapped in the bedroom. I heard the thump as they struck the door. The way was blocked by wolves.
“Shit!” No windows. Nothing to break them out. They’d have to hammer their way out to come to me.
Thump, thump, thump in the distance. “Come on!” I yelled.
“Zach! Get back into your room!�
� Yua barked.
Zach…
Brother.
Me. I was cold-blooded. A killer. Me. They made me this way. Would destroy. Not welcome as a wolf. No. Not me. Half breed they called me. Runt. Grunt. Cunt. Humiliated me, broke me. No world for them. New world. Time for furry wankers to go bye. See ya! Burn up in the pretty silver moonlight, fuckers!
“Burn…” I whispered, staring at the wolves blocking the way back to the bedroom.
“Get down from there.” That alpha again. She was…enemy. In my way.
Swirling… What… This? This? Me? Is this me?
“It is you,” Caramel Man said. “The purest form you have ever been. Isn’t it wonderful?”
Caramel Man. Voice so smooth.
“Don’t know…” I replied.
“Careful!”
A wolf went to grab me. I leaped backward. He lunged again. Backflip off the pool table, and I darted across the room. Bastard! Bastards! All of them! Thinking they can put their hands on me. Had no right. Scum. Wolves.
“Wolves hurt.” Caramel Man was velvet.
“Yes…” I said.
“Don’t hurt him!” the alpha wolf barked. “Where are those agents?”
Agents? SCU coming in through the sewers?
“Uncle…”
“Akira!” Smacking sound… Clapped hands. Alpha. “Calm down. Talk to me.”
“Uncle…”
“Your uncle is fine,” Caramel Man reassured. “Don’t worry about him. He is human… He will not be safe in the world with Mama Rita and the wolves around. What’s that you say? Your father cut him from his life? What sort of a brother is he? Don’t waste time saving him and his kind. They do not deserve it, do they? Why should they live to brutalize another day?”
“But… World… No… You’re right… No more pain…”
“That’s right. Kill Mama Rita, let the silver moon reign. True death will only come at the hands of a true death. Only you can give her that.”
“Fight…” Distant voice telling me no. Muffled. Too much cold, too far gone into the cold. No more tears. Tears would freeze on my face like my frozen soul and heart.
“Crystalize…” Caramel Man whispered.
Four Moons: The Complete Collection: (Books 1 - 4) Page 70