I looked at Penn, who was sitting on the couch adjacent to mine. We were on opposite ends, literally as far away as the seating would allow.
“Still nothing?” I asked him, incredulous.
His blue gaze lifted to mine, but he said not the first word. He’d been silent since this argument had started.
After Penn had ordered an army’s worth of Chinese food, we’d all gathered around the island, forks in hand, and devoured it—sans plates.
I’d received countless hugs from Savannah and Isabel, while River had mainly kept to herself, that is if you didn’t count the way she never tore her suspicious gaze off Penn. At first, I’d thought she was just shocked to see him again, but the longer I watched her watching him, I got the feeling that she was living by the “keep your enemies close” theory. I couldn’t blame her. My implicit trust in him had vanished too, but for her sake, I’d smiled as we’d all piled onto the couches with full bellies.
Not long after, the girls had one by one wandered down the hall to Savannah’s room and shut the door. They were still awake—hence the whisper-yells. But the “what to do with Thomas Lyons” conversation was in full effect.
Drew wanted to kill him.
Catalina wanted to send him to jail for the rest of his life.
Penn had been quiet, but he’d been clenching his teeth to the point that I’d wanted to Google nearby emergency dentists just in case.
And I… Well, I sat there in my new constant state of being: confusion.
“Under your sun?” Catalina snapped, crossing her arms over her chest. “Who died and left you the universe?”
“My sister,” he snarled.
Catalina’s eyes narrowed on him. “Then you know that death is too good for a vile, self-absorbed piece of shit like that. I want him to rot in a cell, with fear terrorizing him the way he made sure it terrorized me. I want him to wake up every morning wondering if it’s his last. I want him to pause, his palms sweating and his heart racing, before he walks around a corner. Every time a person passes him, I want his stomach to spasm while waiting for the blow to land in his gut. And God willing, I want there to be a man who teaches him the same way that he taught me that no doesn’t ever mean no. Too many nights, I lay in bed until the sun rose, my mind tormenting me with every possible scenario of what would happen when he found me. Sometimes I’d even manage to fall asleep only to wake up screaming at the top of my lungs when the fear followed me into slumber. I want all of that for him, because for fourteen fucking years—fourteen years, Drew—I’ve lived like that. It’s his turn now.”
He cracked his neck and shoved off the wall. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure he’s good and scared before I slit his throat.”
We were all coming at this from a dark and desperate place. Our personal pain and anguish were guiding our path.
Catalina had lived in fear—so she wanted Thomas to do the same.
Drew had lost his sister—so he wanted Thomas to lose his life.
And while Penn hadn’t directly stated it yet, I assumed that his reign of terror against his molars each time Catalina would speak meant he disagreed with her. He’d watched his wife be murdered—so he wanted to torture Thomas in the same way.
But I was in an interesting situation. Short of Manuel Guerrero, I hated Thomas Lyons more than anyone left on the Earth. He’d abused my best friend, killed a kind and good woman, and most recently had me arrested and put my daughter into a group home. Whether he ended up in jail or six feet under, it was all fine by me. However, I wasn’t driven by unspeakable loss or blinded by hatred. From where I was sitting, all I could see were three innocent people I cared about allowing their emotions to cloud reality.
I’d done that too many times while trying to escape the Guerreros over the years. I’d gotten so pissed or scared that I’d jumped out of the plane without checking to see if I had a parachute. The truth was taking Thomas down wasn’t going to be as easy as Catalina storming back in and going to the police anymore. He’d proven that when he’d somehow shown up at Catalina’s door, a gun aimed at Drew’s face, two of his lowlife pals pulling up the rear.
Nor was it as easy as Drew and Penn putting him in a grave. Thomas hadn’t gotten to where he was by being outsmarted. Penn had used the element of surprise with Marcos and Dante, but if what Thomas had said earlier about Drew losing his sister was in fact the threat I thought it was, they were already in his crosshairs too.
Tapping my fingers to my palm, I stood up. “Can we have a timeout for a minute?”
All of their scowls softened when they landed on me.
“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but after tonight, I think we need to figure out plan C. Thomas knows you’re back, Cat. I’d be willing to bet my life that, right now, that man is already working on a preemptive strike against you. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if he already had a laundry list of charges and a smear campaign ready for the moment you reemerge.” I turned to look at Drew. “And you. He knows who you are and he’s put two and two together with Lisa.” I turned to Penn. “Which means he’s probably already on to you as well. He’s not going to go down without a fight, and while Thomas is the law, he has never once followed it. It’s going to get bad. He knows the buttons of every person in this room and I have not one doubt he’s going to press all of them in the next few days. So, if we can’t even stop fighting amongst ourselves, we’re hopeless against him.”
Catalina sucked in a deep breath. “You’re right.”
Drew scoffed. “No, she’s not right. She’s the antithesis of right. She’s so obviously wrong, right won’t even claim her anymore. She’s beyond—”
“Enough,” Penn growled. “Right. Wrong. Purple. Banana. It doesn’t fucking matter tonight. It’s late. We all need to get some rest. First thing in the morning, we can regroup and figure out the details. But, for now, I need sleep. Catalina, you’re in the spare. Drew, you’ve got the couch. Cora, you’re with me.”
I laughed, loud and genuine, complete with folding an arm over my stomach and doubling over. “Oh, God, that was funny.” I pointed at Penn. “Nice touch there at the end.”
He arched an eyebrow, his face stoic as ever. “Who’s joking? Let’s go. You can be pissed all you want, but—”
All humor dissipated. “Do not finish that statement. Do not think for one second that you are going to tell me what I’m going to do. You will lose. Every single time. I’m a big girl, with big-girl feelings and a big-girl brain. I can decide where I want to sleep, and tonight, after the day I’ve had, that is not with you.”
His eyes flashed dark, but then, just as quickly, they cut over my shoulder. “All I meant—”
“Oh, I know what you meant. No need to explain. You don’t need time—I got it. But I do. And that does not involve crawling into your bed. So, tonight, Isabel can sleep with her mom, I’ll sleep with River and Savannah, and you and Drew can play rock-paper-scissors for the master for all I care.”
His lips thinned. “It’s only one queen bed, Cora. You’ll wake up with bruises you sleep in there with the two of them.”
I shrugged. “Better on the outside than allowing you to put any more on my inside.”
He frowned—gorgeous and frustrated.
I held his stare—pinchy-faced and perturbed.
Eventually, he gave up, planting a hand on his hip as he turned his glare on the floor. “Christ, you are stubborn.”
“Not a revelation.” I walked over to Catalina and gave her arm a squeeze. “You gonna be able to sleep tonight?”
She smiled, her whole beautiful face warming. “Probably not, but I’m exhausted.”
“Me too.”
We started down the hall, leaving the guys alone in the living room. Neither of us had anything to sleep in, but all we really needed were the three girls in the bedroom and a deadbolt on the front door.
Story of my life.
Just before I opened Savannah’s bedroom door, I peeked over my shoulder at Penn. He was
standing at the mouth of the hall, his smoldering gaze locked on my back. Yeah, I’d escaped sleeping in his bed that night, but I had no idea how much longer that would last. I wanted to be with him—desperately and deeply. But I also needed space to decide if that was even a plausible idea anymore.
He’d lied to me more times than I could count.
But even through the paralyzing betrayal, I could understand why he’d thought that was best.
Unlike most of the men in my life, he’d done it to help me. To help River.
Even to help Savannah.
But whatever his explanation, he’d still done it. He’d still underestimated me. He’d still decided what he had thought was best for me, without so much as a conversation. And he’d done it in such a way that left me even more broken than I had been in the first place. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to let that bitterness go.
I finally had a voice.
I finally had opinions.
I finally had choices.
I’d be damned if I’d let anyone take those away from me again.
Drew walked over to him, cradling his fist in the palm of his hand. “I need to go down and smoke. Let’s do best two out of three?”
Penn never tore his gaze off mine as he replied, “Get the hell out of my face with that bullshit. I’m not fucking playing rock-paper-scissors with you.”
I bit my lip to stifle a smile. However, when Penn’s eyes lit and his lips tipped skyward, I assumed I’d failed.
Though, after rushing into Savannah’s room without so much as knocking, I succeeded at hiding the schoolgirl sigh.
Cora
Penn had been right. The three of us sleeping in one bed had been a war zone. I had a bruise on my ribs from River’s elbow and one on my thigh from Savannah’s heel. Why I’d thought it would be a good idea for me to sleep in the middle, I’d never know. At the time, I’d wanted to be close to both of them. In hindsight, Penn’s bed probably would have been safer—at least physically.
Mentally, I hadn’t been able to shut down that night. There was too much to think about. But after spending the day supplied with an elephant’s dose of adrenaline, my body was down for the count. I’d done that thing where I’d tossed and turned, convinced I couldn’t fall asleep, but somehow, the hours passed in a span of minutes.
Around six, with just over four hours of restlessness under my belt, I gave up in lieu of a trip to the coffee pot. The house was silent as I tiptoed down the hall. Catalina’s door was closed, no light showing at the bottom. The same with Penn’s, though in a reappearance of my creepy side, I paused at his door and put my ear to it. I didn’t know what I was expecting. Maybe a snore or the sound of the shower.
Or maybe the sound of his gruff and hopeless pleas while he was down on his knees, confessing that he’d seen the error of his ways and praying to the Lord for my forgiveness, all the while clutching a photo of me with a Devil-may-care smile, wind-tousled hair, and a low-cut shirt that made me look simultaneously classy and smart but also made my boobs look like I was nineteen again.
I mean, not that I’d given it much thought or anything.
Instead, I heard, “You looking for me?” rumbled from behind me.
I jumped at least seven feet in the air—give or take six feet and eleven inches—and clutched my heart. “Jesus, don’t sneak up on me like that.”
And then that heart of mine, which had just been startled into arrhythmia, stopped.
Because Penn was standing there looking like he’d been ripped straight from my fantasy vault. Shirtless, sweaty, abs rippling, biceps flexing, and holding a steaming mug of coffee like he was the god of caffeine.
I lifted my hand like I was blocking out the sun. “Any chance you could put on some clothes?”
“Not after you moaned like that.” He smirked before tipping the mug to his lips.
Annnnnd I’d moaned. Fan-fucking-tastic.
Now was not the time to be embarrassed.
Now was the time to crawl back into bed and hope to God that this was a dream and the heat currently licking over me was nothing more than Savannah mouth-breathing in my face. I spun on a toe, ready to make my escape, but he caught my arm.
“Wait, wait, wait. Okay, fine. I’ll put on a shirt. I just got back from a run and was about to hit the shower.”
Dropping my chin to my chest, I momentarily lamented the fact that his front didn’t become flush with my back. Nor did his strong arms wrap around my hips, anchoring me into his curve as he peppered kisses up and down my neck. Only a few weeks earlier, all of that quickly followed by a shower for two would have been in both of our futures.
The regret didn’t linger for long when I thought about the pure agony of discovering he was gone and then the earth-quaking elation—no matter how brief—at seeing him for the first time. I knew I’d been falling in love with Penn before that night, but there was nothing quite like losing someone to force your mind to catch up to your heart.
His coffee cup appeared in front of me. “How about I temporarily forgo the shower and you keep that warm for me while I cook you some breakfast?”
I blinked down at the creamy, brown liquid. Penn drank his black. This one had cream—and probably sugar too.
Just the way I liked it.
My nose started stinging. “How long have you been waiting for me to get up?”
He shuffled closer, his warmth looming all around me without him actually touching me at all. “Since the moment you went to bed. I even let Drew take the room last night in case you couldn’t fall asleep. I only went for a run to keep from tearing that door off the hinges. And then I’ve been standing here, drinking sugary milk disguised as coffee ever since.”
I choked out a laugh, but it only made my eyes water.
My shoulders sagged, and before I could stop myself, I leaned back against him. He wasted no time wrapping his free arm around me, but not at my hips. His densely tattooed forearm draped over my chest, where he hugged me hard and long.
“Why didn’t you trust me?” I whispered, placing my hand on his arm, wishing I could make him feel the hollowness his deceit had left inside me. “I think that’s what hurts the most.”
“Cora,” he breathed before pressing a kiss to my temple.
“I get it. In the beginning, I genuinely do. You weren’t there to hurt me. But once you got to know me. After I’d opened up about Nic and everything in between. I just… I can’t seem to figure out the rest.”
“I’m sorry,” he rasped. “I’m so fucking sorry. I knew you were going to get hurt, and I tried to soften that blow as best I could. We both had secrets, Cora. You never even mentioned River being your daughter until you were forced to.”
I tensed. I should have known he’d twist this into something he could blame me for. God knew everyone else blamed me for the way they treated me.
But before I had the chance to get mad, he quickly amended his statement. “And I’m not saying that was wrong.” Holding the coffee out to the side, he moved around in front of me, his fingertips trailing over my throat and to my shoulder, sending a thrill down my spine.
My breath hitched when he rested his forehead against mine, his hand finding its home in the curve of my hip.
“You believed that people not knowing she was yours was best for her. And you were willing to sacrifice whatever you had to, including hearing her call you mom to make sure that happened. I respect that, Cora. And one-hundred-percent God’s honest truth, I do trust you. You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met. But I am begging you to please take a step back and objectively look at what I did. Lisa was crazy about you. She told me numerous times how selfless and kind you were and how much you helped the girls and encouraged them to strive for more in life. But I had no idea what I was getting into when I met you. You were so much more than all of that. The only thing I ever wanted for you was to make your life easier. It didn’t matter if that was fixing the plumbing or hanging ceiling fans or changing the lights in the bree
zeway. I wanted to give you enough slack to breathe again. I will be the first to admit that I fucked that up. But only because I fell in love with you.”
I swallowed hard. He was making sense.
I hated when he made sense.
Hated it. Hated it. Hated it. Because I knew I wasn’t overreacting, but I still felt guilty.
On one hand: Yes, I’d kept secrets. But there was no rule about having to air your dirty laundry on the first date. Yet, he wasn’t wrong. In his own way, he’d been trying to spare me. Which, honestly, any other man, any other situation, I would have happily taken the out.
But on the other hand: All he would have had to say was, “You knew my wife as Lexy Palmer,” and I would have been on board. She was one of my girls regardless that she was his wife. If she had told him how much I cared about the women who lived in that building and all that I tried to do for each and every one of them, he should have had a little more faith in me as a person.
But hindsight was a bitch. Knowing didn’t mean changing.
I couldn’t travel through time and shake sense into him before he’d left.
This is where we were at this point.
Him standing shirtless and holding a cup of cooling coffee after he’d spent hours waiting for me to wake up.
Me staring into the blue eyes that had once captured me in their depths—and if I was being honest with myself, I still hadn’t escaped. If only I could figure out who I was lost in—Penn or Shane.
“Truth or lie,” I whispered. “Which do you want?”
He grimaced like he didn’t want either. “Truth.”
“I’m really mad at you. And not because you did anything wrong necessarily.”
His eyes fluttered shut. “I know.”
“I still don’t understand a lot of what happened between us. Or how I feel about it. Or how I’m going to feel about it tomorrow. But right now…” I took the coffee from his hand. “Assuming this is still warm, I’m willing to listen to you tell me about who you really are while you cook me breakfast.”
The Complete Truth Duet Page 37