The Lost Saint

by Bree Despain

  Except for the fact that Daniel apparently didn’t feel the same way.

  I sat out on the grass in my knee-length blue dress, soaking up the unseasonably warm October sun, for more than forty-five minutes before I decided he must have forgotten about our lunch. The lunch he’d planned. Daniel hadn’t been at services. But his church attendance was usually spotty anyway, so I hadn’t thought much about it then.

  My stomach growled. I was cell-phone-less (Mom forbade me to take it to church), so I went into the parish to use my dad’s office phone to call Daniel. Dad wasn’t in his office, but the door was unlocked. I went inside and dialed Daniel’s number. It went straight to voice mail.

  “I hope whatever you’re doing is important enough to blow me off,” I told the message recorder. “Call my cell when you remember who I am.”

  I hung up and almost called back immediately to apologize. I hated myself for being so terse. But then again, wasn’t the superhero supposed to be the one who was always forgetting about plans last minute, or running off during important dinners? If anyone was going to be standing someone up, shouldn’t it be me?

  I picked up my application packet from the desk and headed out into the hallway. My muscles twitched, and I was ready to take off on a good run—high heels or no high heels—but as I passed the double doors to the social hall, I heard strange noises coming from inside. Kind of like long, heavy breaths and an occasional grunt.

  My curiosity piqued—all of the parishioners should have gone home by now—I pulled open one of the doors and peered inside. Gabriel stood alone in the middle of the room, poised on the tips of his toes, with his arms stretched up high above his head. The palms of his hands were facing each other. He wore a gray linen tunic and pants, like the gi’s Talbot and I wore for training, and a long brown robe. I couldn’t help thinking he looked like a cross between a monk and a Jedi Knight.

  I watched as he very fluidly dropped his arms down so they were parallel in front of his chest, his hands cupped so it looked as if he held an invisible ball. His head turned in my direction. He blinked when he saw me but didn’t say anything as he continued with his flowing motions. It reminded me of the martial arts Talbot taught me, yet completely different at the same time. He did another three moves that all melted into one another like a set routine. When he finished with the last one, he turned to me again and gave a slight bow.

  “Hello, Miss Grace,” he said, and motioned for me to come into the room. “Forgive me for using this space. I’m afraid my room is too small for my exercises.”

  “I thought you weren’t into fighting,” I said. “Why are you practicing martial arts?”

  “I do not practice for fighting. What I do is for balance and meditation.” He rubbed the spot on his finger with the lighter band of skin. “Something I find I need a lot more of these days.”

  “Is that because you’re missing your ring?” I pointed at his hand. It was obvious from how light his skin was there, compared to the rest of his hand, that he must have worn a ring on that finger for many years.

  Gabriel gave me an approving nod, like he was pleased by my quick conclusion.

  “What happened to it?” I asked. I was surprised he’d come here without his moonstone. It seemed like a great risk for someone who was so obsessed with staying in complete control.

  “I gave it to someone who needed it more than I did.” He stopped rubbing the light spot on his finger and dropped his hands at his sides. “I just hope it wasn’t a wasted sacrifice.”

  “Jude?” I remembered now that this wasn’t the first time Gabriel had come to Rose Crest. I hadn’t seen him, but he’d come here on Christmas Eve and had given my dad a moonstone ring for Jude—his very own ring, apparently. “You did that for him? But you’d never even met us.”

  Gabriel nodded, more solemnly this time. “Daniel talked of you and your family often. I guess I felt like I knew you all. I could tell that you were just like my sister, Katharine, and Jude sounded much like myself back before I joined the church and left for the Crusades. When I got your father’s letters about Jude’s infection, Sirhan forbade me from getting involved, but I could not help myself. I wanted to prevent your brother from falling to my own fate. But I’m afraid I always seem to be too late.” He put his hand on my shoulder. His steel-blue eyes seemed so ancient and sad as he searched my face. “I hope that is not the case with you.”

  “I’m fine,” I said. I didn’t know why, but my voice was barely louder than a whisper.

  “Nobody is ever as fine as they say they are.” Gabriel dropped his hand from my shoulder and stepped back a few paces.

  “Well, I am.” I felt even shakier than before. I didn’t like the idea of his judging me again without knowing me. He’d already made up his mind that I couldn’t learn how to use my powers without falling to the wolf, like Jude and him.

  “Tell me, Grace, how were you feeling when you thrust that dagger into Daniel’s heart?”

  The question came out of nowhere, but he sounded so matter-of-fact, like a psychiatrist analyzing a patient lying on a couch, that it left me stunned for a moment.

  “I don’t know what you mean,” I said.

  “Were you afraid? Were you angry? What were you hoping to accomplish?”

  Is he going to pull out a notebook and start jotting down my answers?

  “Why do you want to know?” I asked.

  “My pack is quite fascinated with you. Do you realize what a commodity you are to them? A young girl who can save an Urbat’s soul. They want me to find out how you did it. But I’m more interested in why.”

  “Because I love Daniel. And I’d promised him I’d save him.” It was the only promise I’d ever been able to keep.

  Gabriel just stood there, staring at me, as if expecting me to explain more.

  “I thought the wolf would take me over for killing him—but saving his soul was more important than anything. I was scared, but only that I wouldn’t be able to save him in time. I didn’t care what happened to me as long as his soul was preserved.”

  “Hmm.” Gabriel sighed. His forehead creased. Any hint of his ancient smile fell into a frown. He seemed disappointed by my answer. Or maybe it was more that he’d known all along what I was going to say, but he didn’t have the first clue what to do with the information. “True love. Few people are capable of that.”

  “I guess so.” I tapped my heel against the hardwood floor. “I think I’m going to go now.” I really didn’t want to be analyzed anymore.

  Gabriel stretched his arms out in one of the poses I’d seen him do before. “You should join me in my exercises. I sense much agitation in you.”

  “Okay, Master Yoda,” I mumbled.

  Gabriel gave me a quizzical look.

  I rolled my eyes. “Never mind.” Seriously, does nobody else watch movies anymore?

  “It would be good for you to relax. Meditate. Pray. You are letting the wolf have too much control over your emotions. Do you think in your current state you’d be capable of showing the same restraint and love you did the night you saved Daniel?”

  “Of course.” I looked away from his face, definitely feeling agitated now. He had no business prying into my life—into my head—like this.

  “I have my doubts,” Gabriel said.

  “Whatever. You made up your mind about me the day we met. I’m not going to stand here and try to prove you wrong. I’m not your patient, or your subject, or whatever to be analyzed. Why don’t you just go home?”

  I turned to walk out.

  “I’m here because I care about you.”

  No he doesn’t, that voice said in my head. I used to think of it as foreign, but now it felt comforting. Gabriel is never going to believe you’re capable of becoming a true Hound of Heaven—not in the way Talbot believes you can.

  I was almost through the door when Gabriel called after me. “Remember, Grace. If you let anger into your heart, it will push out your ability to love.”

  CHAPT
ER EIGHTEEN

  Dances with Wolves

  SUNDAY EVENING

  Daniel didn’t call me back, but several hours later he sent a text:

  Sorry. Can’t talk now. Will call you tonight.

  Whatever, I texted back. The longer the hours had stretched without hearing from him, the more I didn’t want to talk to him. Or so I told myself.

  I’m sorry! Okay? Can’t explain now. Call you later.

  I held my phone for a moment, wondering what to say back. Here I was trying to act normal for him when he was still keeping something from me. It made me feel angry—and like a hypocrite of the worst kind. But most of all, it just made me feel empty. I opened my drawer and was about to drop my phone in when it started ringing in my hand. I answered without looking at the display, expecting it to be Daniel calling, even though he claimed he couldn’t.

  “Hey, kid. You ready for some real action?” Talbot asked.

  A rush of excitement swept my empty feeling away. “Depends on what you have in mind.”

  “Staking out The Depot. I’ve got it on good authority that a couple of the Shadow Kings will be there tonight. I think we should follow them and see if they lead us anywhere interesting.”

  My heart swelled with excitement at the idea, only to deflate two seconds later. “Tonight? I can’t. My mom’s on the warpath. I told her I had to write a report to get out of hot gluing any more handmade price tags for that festival I told you about. You should have seen the blisters I had to heal on my fingers. I think I’m stuck in my room all night—”

  “You mean to tell me that I haven’t taught you enough stealth yet to be able to sneak out of your own house?” Talbot asked. “Maybe you aren’t ready for a real mission after all.”

  “No … I can do it. I just don’t know that I should.”

  “This is just another part of the superhero gig, Grace. Most crime happens after curfew. If you want to find Jude, then you have to start letting go of the inhibitions that are holding you back.”

  I stroked my moonstone necklace with my fingers. “I do want to find Jude.”

  “Good. Meet me outside the club at ten o’clock. That should give us enough time to get into position before anyone of importance shows up.”

  “But—”

  “I want you here with me, Grace.”

  At least somebody does. “Okay. I’ll meet you there.”

  “Great.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “Oh, and Grace?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Don’t wear those vinyl pants again. We’re trying not to stand out.”

  THAT NIGHT

  At eight forty-five p.m., I went downstairs and got a glass of water, slipped my keys to the Corolla off the kitchen counter, and tucked them in my pocket, all the while making a big deal out of how tired I was, and how I should go to bed early because I had a big test in the morning. Dad snored in his recliner in the family room with a book leaned against his chest, but I said good night to my mom. She barely even acknowledged me over the stack of homemade price tags she’d crafted out of scrapbook paper for the Halloween fund-raiser. I trudged back up to my room, yawning the entire way just for good measure.

  At nine p.m., I pulled my hair into a high ponytail and changed into black jeans and a black long-sleeved T-shirt (what else are you supposed to wear on a stakeout?) and then propped a couple of pillows under my comforter to make it look like I was tucked in bed. (Lame, I know. But sneaking out wasn’t exactly my forte.) Then I popped open the screen on my second-story window and climbed out on the eave of the roof. I stood on the edge and scanned the street, making sure no one was around. When I was sure the coast was clear, I dove off the roof, did a double flip midair, and landed with hardly a sound near the walnut tree. I felt a thrill of triumphant pride at pulling off the stunt, and almost wished someone had been there to see me.

  Luckily, the Corolla was parked in the driveway, and by nine fifteen, I was backing out onto the road. The car rattled and shook the whole way there, and I prayed that it wouldn’t stall at each stoplight, but I made it to The Depot just before ten p.m. I stayed put in the car until Talbot pulled up and parked beside me in a pickup truck—blue with rust spots, and looking like it had done plenty of farm hauling in the last couple of decades.

  We both got out of our cars and stood on the sidewalk together. Talbot wore a white-and-gray flannel shirt, which actually looked like it had been ironed, tucked into boot-cut jeans. He was without his baseball cap for the first time since I’d met him, and he’d combed his wavy milk-chocolate-brown hair back behind his ears. He hooked his fingers in his belt loops next to his large bronze marshal-star belt buckle.

  I rocked back on my heels. “So … did you bring treats?”

  Talbot scrunched his eyebrows. “For what?”

  “Aren’t we supposed to sit in a car and eat lots of junk food and guzzle coffee while on a stakeout?”

  “You watch way too much TV.” He lightly touched my arm. “And besides, why would we sit out here in a car if we can have more fun inside?”

  “Fun? Inside?” I gave him an incredulous stare.

  “Come on.” He slipped his fingers down my arm, grabbed my hand, and pulled me across the street and down the alley between the train station and the old warehouse. He dug a keycard out of his pocket and used it to get us in through the door. We descended the stairs into the cloud of music and fog. I hesitated at the bottom step. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go into this place again. Talbot seemed to sense my reason for hanging back. He gave me a reassuring nod and let go of my hand and wrapped his arm around my waist as he steered me through the entrance.

  “Just for show,” he said, his lips brushing my ear. “No one is going to hassle you this time if they know you’re with me.” He held me tight against his side and headed deeper into the club. And just like on the night I had come here with April, people seemed to practically jump out of Talbot’s way as he headed toward the dance floor. Guys nodded in his direction, and girls gave me envious scowls. I didn’t know what it was—his wolf pheromones, perhaps—but he seemed to have a commanding presence in this place. So much so that my breath caught in my chest when he slid his fingers along my arms and entwined his hands with both of mine.

  I looked up into his emerald green eyes. “What are you doing?” I whispered.

  “Dance with me,” he said, and then pulled me into the dancing throng.

  It was a quick, pulsating song, the kind of music that swallowed you whole, and I couldn’t help being sucked into the gyrating motion of the crowd. Talbot danced with that same sort of commanding energy—not like a farm boy at all, more like he was made for this sort of music. Like he owned this dance floor. His body moved with the pulsing rhythm close to mine, our hands touching, and then not. My heart raced. I couldn’t help but stare into his piercing eyes. Almost like he held me in an Akh-like trance.

  We danced two songs this way, but then the music shifted into something slower and more sensual. With a smooth, swift movement Talbot wrapped my arms around his neck and then placed his arms around my waist. He pulled me close, his hands pressing against the small of my back. I recognized the hungry glint in his eyes. It was the way Daniel used to look at me.

  I felt a sudden tightness in my throat. I turned my head away and surveyed the crowd, wondering who we were supposed to be looking for. When I glanced back at Talbot, he still stared down at me with unblinking intensity.

  “Aren’t we supposed to be watching out for the Shadow Kings?” I asked.

  “We will. But I doubt they’ll be here for another hour or two.” His voice had a soft growl to it—almost like a contented purr.

  “An hour or two? Why did we get here so early, then? And I thought we weren’t supposed to stand out.”

  “What better way to blend in than to pretend we’re having fun?” Talbot’s large hands slid to my hips. He held me close against him. “You look great tonight, by the way. Kind of ‘spy chic’ or something. Perfect for kicking some de
mon butt later on.” He sighed and then nuzzled his nose against the top of my head. “Perfect night, don’t you think? We may even have time to grab a bite to eat from the bar before the SKs get here.”

  I shivered, even though it was far from cold on the dance floor. I couldn’t help thinking that this would seem like the perfect night to someone like Talbot: a little dancing, a little dinner, and a little demon slaying for dessert. I thought about his pressed shirt, styled hair, and even the splash of musky cologne I could smell on his neck. I let my arms fall from his shoulders and took a step back. “Talbot, are we on a date?”

  Talbot gave me a look like he thought I was totally insane. He dropped his hands from my hips. “Um, no. It’s called surveillance. We’re blending in.” He shoved his thumbs into his belt loops. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I thought you’d be up for playing the part.” Then he gave me a sheepish, dimpled grin. “But if this were a date, would that be so bad? We can make it one if you want.”

  I sighed. “I have a boyfriend. You know that.”

  “Then why isn’t he the one here with you, helping you?”

  “It’s more complicated than that.… And you’re my mentor. I can’t cross that line if you’re going to be training me.”

  Talbot’s shoulders dropped. He stared over my head.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t want to upset you. But this isn’t going to work if we’re not on the same page about—”

  Talbot shook his head and laughed. He rocked back on his heels. “Oh, come on, I’m just teasing you, kid. You’re so self-absorbed. I’d say it was cute, but you’d probably think I was hitting on you.”