by Liz Isaacson
He’d missed church the day before, but he didn’t have to wait to send up a plea to the Lord. Help me forgive her, he thought, wondering what that felt like, sounded like, looked like.
He wasn’t sure, and that frustrated him. How would he know when he’d accomplished it?
“Oh my goodness,” she said, her voice suddenly breathless. “You’ll never guess what happened this weekend while you were gone.”
“Yeah?” he asked, piling two slices of pizza on his plate and adding three cheese twists. “What?”
She took her food right to the couch, and Dave sure liked that she felt comfortable in his house. “Adele announced she was pregnant.”
Chapter 9
That night, Sissy lay in bed, the wrestle on Dave’s face playing through her mind. It shouldn’t be that hard for him to decide to kiss her or not. And yet, he seriously looked like he was trying to solve the world’s hardest riddle—or diffuse a bomb, which the man actually knew how to do.
Foolishness pinched behind her closed eyes. Why couldn’t she fall asleep? She was exhausted from getting up early every morning, all the girly talking she’d done that weekend. First, once the announcement had been made, she’d spent hours and hours in the homestead with all the other woman, talking to Adele about everything.
Scarlett had participated, but Sissy had seen her wipe her eyes and disappear down the hall twice. She wasn’t sure if anyone else had noticed, and she’d almost gone after the ranch owner the second time.
Adele was so happy she was glowing, and Sissy was happy for her too. Jealousy had poisoned her for several seconds—until she realized Adele was only eight months younger than her. And pregnant.
It was a high-risk pregnancy, of course, and Adele was taking all the precautions seriously.
Sissy couldn’t even get her former fiancé to kiss her. Sure, he used all the right language. Exhibited all the signs that he liked her. But without that kiss, they might as well use the label best friends instead of boyfriend.
She exhaled heavily and rolled over, dislodging Cleopatra from her usual spot on Sissy’s hip. The cat stretched and turned in a circle, this time curling into Sissy’s shoulder. She didn’t care. She liked sleeping with the cat, as it reminded her that she wasn’t utterly alone, and she couldn’t very well let her blue parakeet out. Birds weren’t that cuddly anyway.
Sunday had been filled with scenarios proposed by Kirsten, Clara, and Hailey. It was actually Kirsten’s idea to get the pizza and be waiting for Dave in his driveway when he got home from the base.
She was so sure that pizza was going to be her ticket for a kiss. Dave had enjoyed it, and he’d confirmed that at least his taste in food was the same. There was still something holding him back, and she wanted to know what it was and how to get rid of it.
Instead of asking him, she’d relayed all of the pregnancy drama to him and then walked with him over to LlamaLand, where he got to work.
Sissy was expecting to hear on the loan that week, and the audit was almost seventy percent finished as well. At least then she wouldn’t be working ten or twelve hours a day, and maybe she’d have more time to spend with Dave.
But he didn’t seem bothered by how much she worked now. He seemed fine with casual, and Sissy had seen him do that with over a dozen women over the past couple of years. Why had she thought it would be different with her?
“Because, it is different,” she muttered to herself.
But maybe it wasn’t. Maybe she was just another of Dave’s women, though she’d never seen him go out with the same one more than twice. And never spread out over the course of a month.
She tossed again, and Cleo got up and jumped down from the bed, clearly perturbed about all the shifting. Sissy wanted to tell her to join the club, because all she wanted to do was fall asleep. Then at least she’d stop thinking about Dave.
And kissing Dave. Holding Dave’s hand. Building a life with Dave. A life with pregnancy news and rocking chairs and diapers.
She remembered the sweet, sensual way he’d once held her face in both of his hands as he kissed her. And finally, finally, she fell asleep, sweet dreams accompanying her.
Sissy yawned while she went through another stack of files. Making physical copies of everything for Forever Friends should’ve been done from the beginning, but she was the first professional accountant the ranch had had.
And Gramps…wasn’t exactly organized or detailed when it came to financial records. The audit had honestly been a nightmare, and the further she went back, the worse it became.
But she’d got to hold Brayden that morning, and Jeri had asked her to babysit that weekend. Sissy hadn’t known what to say, so she’d said she’d check her schedule and let Jeri know.
Hours had passed, and her schedule was clear for Friday night, and she could easily babysit.
But she was afraid of being with the baby alone for that long. Why, she wasn’t sure. But she didn’t think she could sit in the rocker for hours while Jeri and Sawyer went to dinner and a movie.
She considered asking Dave out so she’d have a reason she couldn’t help her friends, but she didn’t want to be that person. She didn’t lie about things.
Besides, she could still see that raging indecision in his eyes, and annoyance flowed through her. She placed paper after paper, making copies and organizing them into files. Forever Friends would get whatever she had, and she’d have to pray it was enough.
In fact, she sent up a prayer for exactly that, an idea popping into her head. She pulled out her phone and sent a couple of texts.
To Dave: Want to sit by me in church on Sunday?
To Jeri: I’m free on Friday night.
She swore she heard Jeri’s squeal from all the way down the road, and her text came in almost immediately with a half a dozen exclamation points. Dave didn’t answer, and Sissy went back to her files and copies. Copies and files.
Sometimes her job was extremely boring.
The week passed quickly as boring task after boring task piled up and helped the hours go by like water through her fingers. On Friday afternoon, she left early so she could go home and change out of her skirt and into her yoga pants.
Jeri had said she could sleep in the guest room so she could make it to seven o’clock goat yoga and not have to get up at the crack of dawn. She’d brought a small overnight bag of toiletries and a pair of pajamas, and she waited on the front porch while the doorbell rang inside the house.
Jeri opened the door with baby Brayden cradled in her arms. “I told you it would be Aunt Sissy,” she cooed at the little boy. She passed Brayden to her, taking her bag and saying, “Come on it, Sissy.”
It smelled like lemons and peppermint inside, as well as the undertones of marinara sauce. “Sawyer put a frozen lasagna in the oven for you,” she said, lifting her purse as her husband came into the kitchen.
“Hey, Sawyer,” Sissy said, bouncing the baby and patting his bottom at the same time.
“Sissy,” he said with a smile. “You ready, hon?” He stepped over to Jeri and pressed a kiss to her temple. She glanced from him to Sissy and back, her nerves plain on her face.
“I’ve got this,” Sissy said, though a tremor of nerves squirreled through her at the thought of being left alone with the baby. Jeri was afraid to leave him, and Sissy was afraid to stay. She almost started laughing at the irony of it, and her smile must’ve convinced Jeri she could actually keep this tiny human alive for the next couple of hours.
Jeri stepped over to her and kissed Brayden’s forehead, then turned and squared her shoulders. “Let’s go, Sawyer. I can’t wait to get a huge tub of popcorn at the movies.”
Sissy suddenly wanted the same snack, with all its buttery, salty deliciousness. “Oh, we’ll be fine, won’t we?” she asked Brayden. He gazed up at her with his clear, blue eyes, and Sissy loved him so much.
Her phone chimed in her overnight bag, and she switched Brayden to her other arm so she could dig it out.
W
hatcha doing tonight? Dave had texted.
He was asking her now? Sissy wanted to ignore him, and then a thrilling idea filled her mind. Babysitting, she tapped out with one hand of fingers. Just down the street from you.
She’d only had her boyfriend over while she’d babysat as a teenager, and they’d spent a couple of hours making out after the kids had gone to bed.
Could she dare to hope for the same tonight?
He didn’t invite himself over the way Jexton had decades ago. So Sissy decided to pull the trigger and send the clearest signals she could.
Want to come hang out with me and a baby?
Of course, her intentions with Dave weren’t a secret. She’d even told him she wanted him to kiss her, and he still hadn’t.
“Maybe he just needs more time,” she said to the baby. “Should we go sit on the steps and wait for him?” She nodded and bounce-stepped her way over to the front door. “Yes, we should.”
She settled on the top step of the porch, the house directly across from the road where Dave lived. She didn’t see him or his big, black truck coming, and she started humming to Brayden, her anxiety rising with each bar of music she sang.
“Should I ask him why he won’t kiss me?” she asked the baby, and Brayden screwed up his face and gave a single wail.
“So that’s a no,” she said, putting the infant over her shoulder and patting his back now. He quieted again, and she couldn’t believe she was taking her cues from a one-month-old.
Ten minutes passed and Sissy’s hopes for her and Dave withered with every second where Dave didn’t show up and he didn’t text.
She kept her eyes trained on that blasted road, almost wishing the quake of the century would happen, breaking up the smooth surface and giving Dave a good reason for not coming over.
“Hey,” he said, and she jerked her attention to the right, where the sound of his voice had come from.
Just like that, the darkness in her soul lifted at the sight of Dave’s five o’clock shadow and twinkling smile. “There you are,” she said, her heartbeat bouncing as quickly as it ever had.
“Sorry,” he said. “I was finishing up when I texted you, and then Cache grabbed me. We’re doing band practice tonight.” He grinned up at her from the bottom of the steps. “But I can come over after that.”
The timer on the oven started beeping from inside the house, and Sissy stood up. “Yeah,” she said, moving quickly down the steps and handing Brayden to him. “Let me grab that, and I’ll come say good-bye.”
Chapter 10
Dave held Brayden like the baby was a yowling cat, his arms straight out in front of him. “Sissy,” he said, but she dashed back up the steps with the speed of an Olympian. Brayden squirmed, and Dave didn’t want to drop the baby, so he curled him into his elbow like a football.
He went up the steps and into the house to catch her setting a pan on top of the stove, the oven door open in front of her. The scene was so domestic and so surreal that he paused just inside the door. He’d imagined something like this between him and Sissy so many times, to have it playing out in front of him in live color made his heart jump around inside his chest.
He felt like he’d been put on a roller coaster a month ago, sometimes swelling higher and sometimes dipping so low, he wondered if he and Sissy could really have a future together. It probably wasn’t fair for him to keep jerking her up and down with him, but he couldn’t work out what to do.
“So church is still okay on Sunday?” she asked, discarding the pot holders on the counter beside the pan of lasagna.
“Yes,” he said, smiling at her when she finally stopped moving and looked at him.
She cocked her hip and pressed it into the counter. “Well, look at you cowboy.” Her eyes glittered like dark diamonds, flirting with him from a dozen feet away. She looked at the baby in his arms, and Dave did too.
He couldn’t remember the last time he’d held a baby, and a sense of pure love filled him quicker than anything he’d ever experienced. She stepped toward him, and he moved toward her, easily passing the baby to her.
He gazed down at her, fear pounding through his whole system. His muscles felt weak and overused, because he’d been driving them to work hard this week. Anything to keep thoughts of Sissy dormant.
Without thinking, he swept his lips across her forehead and said, “I’ll be back later,” before turning and striding out the front door. The crack of it closing behind him made him flinch, but he didn’t stop and he didn’t go back.
He really needed to figure out how he felt about Sissy so he could stop giving off mixed signals, leading her on, and giving her small pieces of his heart every time he saw her.
“That end part isn’t right,” Cache said, peering down at the sheet music on the makeshift stand in front of him. “What note are you playing, Dave?”
“E-flat,” he said. “It would sound better if Sawyer were here.” He wasn’t sure why he had to be here, rehearsing songs they probably wouldn’t ever play in public when Sawyer got to go out with his wife.
“Probably,” Cache said, “But we started the band without Sawyer.”
“Yeah,” Dave said, glancing at Lance. He didn’t seem to be bothered staying behind the drums on a Friday night. But all Dave could think about was the pretty brunette waiting for him down the road.
Seeing her with that baby had changed several things inside Dave. He felt like his heart was one of those slider puzzles, and pieces had been pushed and moved and suddenly clicked into place.
She’d been working at Last Chance Ranch as long as him. Most likely, she wasn’t going to run off to the rain forest. To his knowledge, she hadn’t taken a trip since starting at the ranch. Maybe that gypsy spirit really was out of her system.
And why did it matter if it wasn’t? They could travel together.
Cache and Lance started playing, but Dave had no idea where they were.
“Dave,” Cache said at the same time Lance started laughing.
“Sorry,” Dave said.
“Dude, let’s call it a night.” Lance stood up. “I’m starving, and it’s bonus burger night at Finer Diner.” He surveyed the other two men in the room. “Who’s in?”
“I’m in,” Cache said quickly. Dave usually would be too, and it was no secret he’d been seeing Sissy.
“Me too.” He lifted the guitar strap over his head and balanced the instrument in the stand near the front window. Sissy wasn’t expecting him only twenty minutes after he’d left her, and he was hungry too. She’d pulled lasagna out of the oven, but when compared to a burger, the burger would always win.
“Really?” Lance asked. “Where’s Sissy tonight?”
“Babysitting for Sawyer and Jeri,” he said easily. “I have time for a burger.” He looked at Cache and Lance, who both gaped at him. “What?”
“Nothing,” Lance said, recovering first.
“Nothing?” Cache scoffed. “I think it’s something.”
“What is it?” Dave asked, truly confused.
“You want to hang out with us on a Friday night over your girlfriend.” Lance exchanged a glance with Cache. “It’s kind of weird.”
“Oh, come on,” Dave said, rolling his eyes. “You have an enormous crush on Amber, and yet, here you are, with us.”
Lance opened his mouth to say something but snapped it shut. Dave looked at Cache. “And don’t think I haven’t seen you flirting with Karla in the stables.”
“I have not,” Cache said, puffing out his chest. “She likes Blade, and so do I.” To his credit, he didn’t blush or anything.
“Okay,” Dave said. “But if I want to get a burger with my friends, I think I’m allowed.”
“Yeah, sure,” Lance said easily, the flush in his face fading.
Dave caught up to him. “I’m sorry I said that about Amber.”
“It’s fine. I know I’m obvious about how much I like her. And yet, she’s still going out with that other guy.”
“Just wai
t it out,” Dave said, cutting a look at Cache, who was gathering his keys and wallet from the counter in the kitchen. “I mean, I went out with Amber a couple of times, and she doesn’t take long to decide if she likes you or not. She’ll break up with him soon.” They went out onto the porch, and Dave drew in a big breath of fresh air. “And Cache and Karla are totally more than friends.”
He glanced over his shoulder, a smile on his face. “They’re really good at hiding it, though, I’ll give them that.”
He followed Lance down the steps and they all crammed into the cab of Cache’s truck. “So what is going on with you and Sissy?” Cache asked as they left the ranch.
“We’re…seeing each other,” Dave said evasively.
“Sounds like you don’t know what you are.” Cache looked at him and back at the road.
“I don’t.” Dave sighed. “We’ve dated before. In fact, I asked her to marry me once, a long time ago. We were engaged for just over a week.”
“What?” Lance practically yelled at the same time Cache said, “You’re kidding.”
Dave shook his head. “It didn’t end well, and I’m….” He knew what the problem was, but he didn’t normally talk about his relationships with other cowboys. With anyone, really.
“I haven’t forgiven her,” he said simply. “So we’re sort of stalled. It’s fine. I’ll figure it out.” That was code for I’m not going to answer any more questions, and thankfully, the topic moved to something else.
Dave liked hanging out with Cache and Lance, and they had a great time at Finer Diner, which had live music on weekend evenings.
“I’m going to go see how we can perform here,” Cache said after consuming his second hamburger.
“Cache,” Lance said, but the other cowboy got up and left the booth anyway.
“He’s a tyrant,” Lance said darkly, and Dave chuckled.