Then said the Khalif, ‘Where is the philosopher?’ whereupon one came forward and said to Taweddud, ‘What is Time?’ ‘Time,’ answered she, ‘is a name applied to the [lapse of the] hours of the day and night, which are but the measures of the courses of the sun and moon in their several orbits, even as God the Most High telleth us, when he saith, “And a sign to them [is] the night, from which we strip off the day, and behold, they are in darkness, and the sun runneth to a fixed abode, [appointed] to it; this is the ordinance of the Sublime, the All-knowing.”’ (Q.) ‘How comes unbelief to the son of Adam?’ (A.) ‘It is reported of the Prophet that he said, “Unbelief runs in a man, as the blood runs in the veins, when he reviles the world and Time and night and the hour.” And again, “Let none of you revile Time, for Time is God; neither the world, for it saith, ‘May God not help him that reviles me!’ neither the hour, for ‘Verily, the hour cometh, without doubt;’ neither the earth, for it is a portent, according to the saying of the Most High, ‘From it we created you, to it we will return you and from it we will bring you forth yet again.’”’ (Q.) ‘What are the five that ate and drank, yet came not out of loins nor belly?’ (A.) ‘Adam and Simeon and Salih’s she-camel and Ishmael’s ram and the bird that Abou Bekr the Truth-teller saw in the cave.’ (Q.) ‘Tell me of five that are in Paradise and are neither mortals, Jinn nor angels?’ (A.) ‘Jacob’s wolf and the Seven Sleepers’ dog and Esdras’s ass and Salih’s camel and the Prophet’s mule.’ (Q.) ‘What man prayed a prayer neither on earth nor in heaven?’ (A.) ‘Solomon [son of David], when he prayed on his carpet, borne by the wind.’ (Q.) ‘A man once looked at a handmaid in the morning, and she was unlawful to him; but, at noonday, she became lawful to him. By mid-afternoon, she was again unlawful, but at sundown, she was lawful to him. At evensong, she was a third time unlawful, but by daybreak, she became once more lawful to him.’ (A.) ‘This was a man who looked at another’s handmaid in the morning, and she was then unlawful to him, but at midday he bought her, and she became lawful to him. At mid-afternoon he enfranchised her, and she became unlawful to him, but at sundown he married her and she was again lawful to him. At evensong, he divorced her and she was then a third time unlawful to him, but, next morning, at daybreak, he took her back, and she became once more lawful to him.’ (Q.) ‘Tell me what tomb fared on with him that lay buried therein?’ (A.) ‘The whale, when it had swallowed Jonah.’ (Q.) ‘What spot of ground is it, upon which the sun shone once, but will never again shine till the Day of Judgment?’ (A.) ‘The bottom of the Red Sea, when Moses smote it with his staff, and the sea clove asunder in twelve places, according to the number of the tribes; then the sun shone on the bottom and will do so never again till the Day of Judgment.’ (Q.) ‘What was the first skirt that trailed upon the surface of the earth?’ (A.) ‘That of Hagar, out of shame before Sarah, and it became a custom among the Arabs.’ (Q.) ‘What is that which breathes without life?’ (A.) ‘Quoth God the Most High, “By the morning, when it breathes!”’ (Q.) ‘A number of pigeons came to a high tree and lighted, some on the tree and others under it. Said those on the tree to those on the ground, “If one of you come up to us, ye will be a third part of us [all] in number; and if one of us descend to you, we shall be like unto you in number.” How many pigeons were there in all?’ (A.) ‘Twelve: seven alighted on the tree and five beneath.’
With this the philosopher put off his clothes and fled forth: whereupon she turned to those present and said, ‘Which of you is the rhetorician that can discourse of all kinds of knowledge?’ There came forward Ibrahim ben Siyyar and said to her, ‘Think me not like the rest.’ Quoth she, ‘It is the more sure to me that thou wilt be beaten, for that thou art a boaster, and God will help me against thee, that I may strip thee of thy clothes. So, if thou sentest one to fetch thee wherewithal to clothe thyself, it would be well for thee.’ ‘By Allah,’ cried he, ‘I will assuredly conquer thee and make thee a byword among the folk, generation after generation!’ ‘Do penance [in advance] for thy [void] oath,’ rejoined she. Then said he, ‘What five things did God create, before He made man?’ And she replied, ‘Water and earth and light and darkness and the fruits [of the earth].’ (Q.) ‘What did God create with the hand of omnipotence?’ (A.) ‘The empyreal heaven and the tree Touba and Adam and the garden of Eden; these God created with the hand of His omnipotence; but to all other created things He said, “Be,” — and they were.’ (Q.) ‘Who is thy father in Islam?’ (A.) ‘Mohammed, whom God bless and preserve!’ (Q.) ‘Who was the father [in Islam] of Mohammed?’ (A.) ‘Abraham the Friend of God.’ (Q.) ‘What is the Faith of Islam?’ (A.) ‘The professing that there is no god but God and that Mohammed is the apostle of God.’ (Q.) ‘What is thy first and thy last?’ (A.) ‘My first is troubled water and my last filthy carrion. The first of me is dust and the last dust. Quoth the poet:
Created wast thou of the dust and didst a man become, Ready in
question and reply and fluent in debate.
Then to the dust return’dst anon and didst become of it, For
that, in very deed, of dust at first thou wast create.’
(Q.) ‘What thing was it, whose first [state] was wood and its last life?’ (A.) ‘Moses’ rod, when he cast it on the ground and it became, by permission of God, a writhing serpent.’ (Q.) ‘What is the meaning of the verse in the Koran, “And I have other need [or occasion] for it”?’ (A.) ‘He [Moses] was wont to plant his staff in the ground, and it would flower and fruit and shade him from the heat and the cold. Moreover, it would carry him, when he was weary, and guard his sheep from the wild beasts, whilst he slept.’ (Q.) ‘What woman was born of a man alone and what man of a woman alone?’ (A.) ‘Eve of Adam and Jesus of Mary.’ (Q.) ‘What fire eats and drinks, what fire eats but drinks not, what fire drinks but eats not and what other neither eats nor drinks?’ (A.) ‘Hellfire eats and drinks, the fire of the world eats but drinks not, the fire of the sun drinks but eats not, and that of the moon neither eats nor drinks.’ (Q.) ‘Which is the open [door] and which the shut [door]?’ (A.) ‘The Traditional Ordinances are the open, the Koranic the shut [door].’ (Q.) ‘Of what does the poet speak, when he says:
A dweller in the sepulchre, at ‘s head his victual lies; Whenas
he tastes thereof, he speaks and questions and replies.
He rises up and walks and talks, yet silent is the while, And
turns anon unto the tomb wherefrom he did arise.
No living one is he, that hath a title to respect, Nor dead,
that folk should say of him, “God’s mercy him comprise!”?’
(A.) ‘The pen.’ (Q.) ‘What does the poet refer to in these verses:
Two breasts in one it hath; its blood is eath and quick of
flow, Wide-mouthed, though all the rest be black, its ears
are white as snow.
It hath an idol like a cock, that doth its belly peck, And half
a dirhem is its worth, if thou its price wouldst know?’
(A.) ‘The inkhorn.’ (Q.) ‘And in these:
Say to men of wit and learning and to doctors everywhere,
Skilled to find the hidden meanings riddles and enigmas
bear,
Come expound to me what is it that ye see a bird produce,
‘Mongst the Arabs and barbarians and wherever else ye
fare;
Neither flesh nor blood, I warrant, hath the thing whereof I
speak; Neither down nor feathers, birdwise, for a garment
doth it wear.
Boiled it is and likewise roasted, eaten hot and eaten cold;
Yea, to boot, and when ’tis buried in the glowing embers’
flare,
Colours twain in it are noted, one as silver clear and white,
And the other lucent yellow, gold therewith may not
compare.
Living can it not be reckoned, neither may we count it dead:
Tell me, then, what is this wonder, rarity of all things
&nb
sp; rare?’
(A.) ‘Thou makest long the questioning of an egg worth a doit.’ (Q.) ‘How many words [or times] did God speak to Moses?’ (A.) ‘It is related of the Prophet that he said, “God spoke to Moses fifteen hundred and fifteen words [or times].”’ (Q.) ‘Tell me of fourteen things that speak to the Lord of the Worlds?’ (A.) ‘The seven heavens and the seven earths, when they say, “We come, obedient.”’ (Q.) ‘How was Adam created?’ (A.) ‘God created Adam of clay: the clay He made of foam and the foam of the sea, the sea of darkness, darkness of light, light of a fish, the fish of a rock, the rock of a ruby, the ruby of water, and the water He created by the exertion of His omnipotent will, according to His saying (exalted be His name!), “His commandment is only when He willeth aught, that He say, ‘Be,’ — and it is.”’ (Q.) ‘What is meant by the poet in the following verses:
A things sans mouth or maw that eats in wondrous wise; On trees
and beasts it feeds and all beneath the skies.
Give it to eat, it thrives and flourishes amain; But give it
not to drink of water, or it dies?’
(A.) ‘Fire.’ (Q.) ‘And in these:
Two lovers, that are still estopped from all delight:
Embracing, each with each, they pass the livelong night.
They guarantee the folk from all calamity, And with the risen
sun they’re torn apart forthright?’
(A.) ‘The leaves of a gate.’ (Q.) ‘Tell me of the gates of Hell?’ (A.) ‘They are seven in number and their names are comprised in the following verses:
Jehennem first, then Leza comes and eke Hetim as well; Then
must thou count Saïr, and fifth comes Seker, sooth to
tell:
Sixth comes Jehim and last of all, Hawiyeh; thus thou hast, In
compass brief of doggrel rhyme, the seven rooms of Hell.’
(Q.) ‘To what does the poet refer in these verses:
A pair of ringlets long she hath, that trail for aye Behind
her, as she comes and goes upon her way,
And eye that never knows the taste of sleep nor sheds A tear,
for none it hath for shedding, sooth to say;
Nor wears it aught of clothes, from year to ended year; Yet in
all manner wede it doth the folk array?’
(A.) ‘A needle.’ (Q.) ‘What is the length and breadth of the bridge Es Sirat?’ (A.) ‘Its length is three thousand years’ journey, a thousand in descent, a thousand level and a thousand in ascent: it is sharper than a sword and finer than a hair.’ (Q.) ‘How many intercessions [with God] hath the Prophet [for each soul]?’ (A.) ‘Three.’ (Q.) ‘Was Abou Bekr the first that embraced Islam?’ (A.) ‘Yes.’ (Q.) ‘Yet Ali became a Muslim before him?’ (A.) ‘All came to the Prophet, when he was a boy of seven years old, for God vouchsafed him the knowledge of the truth in his tender youth, so that he never prostrated himself to idols.’ (Q.) ‘Which is the more excellent, Ali or Abbas?’
Now she knew that, in propounding this question, Ibrahim was laying a trap for her; for, if she said, ‘Ali is the more excellent,’ she would fall in disgrace with the Khalif; so she bowed her head awhile, now reddening, now paling, then said, ‘Thou askest me of two excellent men, each having [his own especial] excellence. Let us return to what we were about.’ When the Khalif heard her reply, he rose to his feet and said, ‘By the Lord of the Kaabeh, thou hast said well, O Taweddud!’ Then said Ibrahim, ‘What means the poet, when he says:
Slender of skirts and slim of shape and sweet of taste it is,
Most like unto the spear, except it lacks of the spontoon.
In all the countries of the world the folk make use of it, And
eaten ’tis in Ramazan, after mid-afternoon?’
She answered, ‘The sugar-cane;’ and he said, ‘Tell me of many things.’ ‘What are they?’ asked she; and he said, ‘What is sweeter than honey, what is sharper than the sword, what is swifter than poison, what is the delight of a moment and what the contentment of three days, what is the pleasantest of days, what is the joy of a week, what is the debt that the worst payer denieth not, what is the prison of the tomb, what is the joy of the heart, what is the snare of the soul, what is death in life, what is the malady that may not be healed, what is the reproach that may not be done away, what is the beast that harbours not in cultivated fields, but lodges in waste places and hates mankind and hath in it somewhat of the make of seven strong beasts?’ Quoth she, ‘Hear what I shall say in answer; then put off thy clothes, that I may expound to thee.’ Then the Khalif said, ‘Expound, and he shall put off his clothes.’ So she said, ‘That, which is sweeter than honey, is the love of pious children to their parents; that, which is sharper than the sword, is the tongue; that, which is swifter than poison, is the evil eye; the delight of a moment is coition and the contentment of three days is the depilatory for women; the pleasantest of days is that of profit on merchandise; the joy of a week is the bride; the debt, which the worst payer denieth not, is death; the prison of the tomb is an ill son; the joy of the heart is a woman obedient to her husband, (and it is said also that, when fleshmeat descends upon the heart, it rejoiceth therein); the snare [or vexation] of the soul is a disobedient slave; death in life is poverty; the malady, that may not be healed, is an ill nature and the reproach, that may not be done away, is an ill daughter; lastly, the beast that harbours not in cultivated fields, but lodges in waste places and hates mankind and hath in it somewhat of the make of seven strong beasts, is the locust, whose head is as the head of the horse, its neck as the neck of the bull, its wings as the wings of the vulture, its feet as the feet of the camel, its tail as the tail of the serpent, its body as the body of the scorpion and its horns as the horns of the gazelle.’
The Khalif was astounded at her quickness and understanding and said to Ibrahim, ‘Put off thy clothes.’ So he rose and said, ‘I call all who are present in this assembly to witness that she is more learned than I and all the learned men.’ And he put off his clothes and gave them to her, saying, ‘Take them and may God not bless them to thee!’ The Khalif ordered him fresh clothes and said to Taweddud, ‘There is one thing left of that for which thou didst engage, namely, chess.’ And he sent for professors of chess and draughts and backgammon. The chess-player sat down before her, and they set the pieces, and he moved and she moved; but, every move he made she speedily countered, till she beat him and he found himself check-mated. Quoth he, ‘I did but lead thee on, that thou mightest think thyself skilful; but set up again, and I will show thee.’ So they placed the pieces a second time, and he said to himself, ‘Open thine eyes, or she will beat thee.’ And he fell to moving no piece, save after calculation, and ceased not to play, till she said, ‘Check-mate.’ When he saw this, he was confounded at her quickness and skill; but she laughed and said, ‘O master, I will make a wager with thee on this third game. I will give thee the queen and the right-hand rook and the left-hand knight; if thou beat me, take my clothes, and if I beat thee, I will take thine.’ ‘I agree to this,’ replied he, and they replaced the pieces, she giving him the queen, rook and knight. Then said she, ‘Move, O master.’ So he moved, saying in himself, ‘I cannot but win, with such an advantage,’ and made a combination; but she moved on, little by little, till she made one of her pawns a queen and pushing up to him pawns and other pieces, to take off his attention, set one in his way and tempted him with it. Accordingly, he took it and she said to him, ‘The measure is meted out and the equilibrium established. Eat, O man, till thou pass repletion; nought shall be thy ruin but greediness. Knowest thou not that I did but tempt thee, that I might beguile thee? See: this is check-mate: put off thy clothes.’ ‘Leave me my trousers,’ quoth he, ‘so God requite thee;’ and he swore by Allah that he would contend with none, so long as Taweddud abode at the Court of Baghdad. Then he took off his clothes and gave them to her and went away.
Then came the backgammon-player, and she said to him, ‘If I beat thee, what wilt thou give me
?’ Quoth he, ‘I will give thee ten suits of brocade of Constantinople, figured with gold, and ten suits of velvet and a thousand dinars, and if I beat thee, I ask nothing but that thou write me an acknowledgment thereof.’ ‘To it, then,’ replied she, ‘and do thy best.’ So they played, and he lost and went away, jabbering in the Frank jargon and saying, ‘By the bounty of the Commander of the Faithful, there is not her like in all the world!’ Then the Khalif summoned players on instruments of music and said to her, ‘Dost thou know aught of music?’ ‘Yes,’ answered she. So he bade bring a peeled and polished lute, whose owner [or maker] was ground down by exile [or estrangement from the beloved] and of which quoth one, describing it:
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