When it was the Seven Hundred and Third Night,
She resumed, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the dyer caught hold of the donkey-boy and the donkey-boy caught hold of the dyer and they beat and cursed each other till the folk collected round them and one of them asked, “What is the matter, O Master Mohammed?” The ass-driver answered, “I will tell thee the tale,” and related to them his story, saying, “I deemed I was doing the dyer a good turn; but, when he saw me he beat his breast and said, ‘My mother is dead.’ And now, I for one require my ass of him, it being he who hath put this trick on me, that he might make me lose my beast.” Then said the folk to the dyer, “O Master Mohammed, dost thou know this matron, that thou didst entrust her with the dyery and all therein?” And he replied, “I know her not; but she took lodgings with me to-day, she and her son and daughter.” Quoth one, “In my judgment, the dyer is bound to indemnify the ass- driver.” Quoth another, “Why so?” “Because,” replied the first, “he trusted not the old Woman nor gave her his ass save only because he saw that the dyer had entrusted her with the dyery and its contents.” And a third said, “O master, since thou hast lodged her with thee, it behoveth thee to get the man back his ass.” Then they made for the house, and the tale will come round to them again. Mean-while, the young merchant remained awaiting the old woman’s coming with her daughter, but she came not nor did her daughter; whilst the young lady in like manner sat expecting her return with leave from her son, the God-attended one, the Shaykh’s deputy, to go in to the holy presence. So weary of waiting, she rose to visit the Shaykh by herself and went down into the saloon, where she found the young merchant, who said to her, “Come hither! where is thy mother, who brought me to marry thee?” She replied, “My mother is dead, art thou the old woman’s son, the ecstatic, the deputy of the Shaykh Abu al-Hamlat?” Quoth he, “The swindling old trot is no mother of mine; she hath cheated me and taken my clothes and a thousand dinars.” Quoth Khatun, “And me also hath she swindled for she brought me to see the Shaykh Abu al-Hamlat and in lieu of so doing she hath stripped me.” Thereupon he, “I look to thee to make good my clothes and my thousand dinars;” and she, “I look to thee to make good my clothes and jewellery.” And, behold, at this moment in came the dyer and seeing them both stripped of their raiment, said to them, “Tell me where your mother is.” So the young lady related all that had befallen her and the young merchant related all that had betided him, and the Master-dyer exclaimed, “Alas, for the loss of my goods and those of the folk!”; and the ass-driver ejaculated, “Alas, for my ass! Give me, O dyer, my ass!” Then said the dyer, “This old woman is a sharper. Come forth, that I may lock the door.” Quoth the young merchant, “‘Twere a disgrace to thee that we should enter thy house dressed and go forth from it undressed.” So the dyer clad him and the damsel and sent her back to her house where we shall find her after the return of her husband. Then he shut the dyery and said to the young merchant, “Come, let us go and search for the old woman and hand her over to the Wali,198 the Chief of Police.” So they and the ass-man repaired to the house of the master of police and made their complaint to him. Quoth he, “O folk, what want ye?” and when they told him he rejoined, “How many old women are there not in the town! Go ye and seek for her and lay hands on her and bring her to me, and I will torture her for you and make her confess.” So they sought for her all round the town; and an account of them will presently be given.199 As for old Dalilah the Wily, she said, “I have a mind to play off another trick,” to her daughter who answered, “O my mother, I fear for thee;” but the beldam cried, “I am like the bean husks which fall, proof against fire and water.” So she rose, and donning a slave-girl’s dress of such as serve people of condition, went out to look for some one to defraud. Presently she came to a by-street, spread with carpets and lighted with hanging lamps, and heard a noise of singing-women and drumming of tambourines. Here she saw a handmaid bearing on her shoulder a boy, clad in trousers laced with silver and a little Abá-cloak of velvet, with a pearl embroidered Tarbush-cap on his head, and about his neck a collar of gold set with jewels. Now the house belonged to the Provost of the Merchants of Baghdad, and the boy was his son. He had a virgin daughter, to boot, who was promised in marriage, and it was her betrothal they were celebrating that day. There was with her mother a company of noble dames and singing-women, and whenever she went upstairs or down, the boy clung to her. So she called the slave-girl and said to her, “Take thy young master and play with him, till the company break up.” Seeing this, Dalilah asked the handmaid, “What festivities are these in your mistress’s house;” and was answered “She celebrates her daughter’s betrothal this day, and she hath singing-women with her.” Quoth the old woman to herself, “O Dalilah, the thing to do is to spirit away this boy from the maid,” — And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say her permitted say.
When it was the Seven Hundred and Fourth Night,
She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that when the old trot said to herself, “O Dalilah, the thing to do is to spirit away this boy from the maid!” she began crying out, “O disgrace! O ill luck!” Then pulling out a brass token, resembling a dinar, she said to the maid, who was a simpleton, “Take this ducat and go in to thy mistress and say to her, ‘Umm al-Khayr rejoiceth with thee and is beholden to thee for thy favours, and on the day of assembly she and her daughters will visit thee and handsel the tiring-women with the usual gifts.’” Said the girl, “O my mother, my young master here catcheth hold of his mamma, whenever he seeth her;” and she replied “Give him to me, whilst thou goest in and comest back.” So she gave her the child and taking the token, went in; whereupon Dalilah made off with the boy to a by-lane, where she stripped him of his clothes and jewels, saying to herself, “O Dalilah, ’twould indeed be the finest of tricks, even as thou hast cheated the maid and taken the boy from her, so now to carry on the game and pawn him for a thousand dinars.” So she repaired to the jewel-bazar, where she saw a Jew goldsmith seated with a cage full of jewellery before him, and said to herself, “’Twould be a rare trick to chouse this Jew fellow and get a thousand gold pieces worth of jewellery from him and leave the boy in pledge for it.” Presently the Jew looked at them and seeing the boy with the old woman, knew him for the son of the Provost of the Merchants. Now the Israelite was a man of great wealth, but would envy his neighbour if he sold and himself did not sell; so espying Dalilah, he said to her, “What seekest thou, O my mistress?” She asked, “Art thou Master Azariah200 the Jew?” having first enquired his name of others; and he answered, “Yes.” Quoth she, “This boy’s sister, daughter of the Shahbandar of the Merchants, is a promised bride, and to- day they celebrate her betrothal; and she hath need of jewellery. So give me two pair of gold ankle-rings, a brace of gold bracelets, and pearl ear-drops, with a girdle, a poignard and a seal-ring.” He brought them out and she took of him a thousand dinars’ worth of jewellery, saying, “I will take these ornaments on approval; and whatso pleaseth them, they will keep and I will bring thee the price and leave this boy with thee till then.” He said, “Be it as thou wilt!” So she took the jewellery and made off to her own house, where her daughter asked her how the trick had sped. She told her how she had taken and stripped the Shahbandar’s boy, and Zaynab said, “Thou wilt never be able to walk abroad again in the town.” Meanwhile, the maid went in to her mistress and said to her, “O my lady, Umm al-Khayr saluteth thee and rejoiceth with thee and on assembly-day she will come, she and her daughters, and give the customary presents.” Quoth her mistress, “Where is thy young master?” Quoth the slave-girl, “I left him with her lest he cling to thee, and she gave me this, as largesse for the singing-women.” So the lady said to the chief of the singers, “Take thy money;” and she took it and found it a brass counter; whereupon the lady cried to the maid, “Get thee down, O whore, and look to thy young master.” Accordingly, she went down and finding neither boy nor old woman, shrieked aloud and fell on her face. Their jo
y was changed into annoy, and behold, the Provost came in, when his wife told him all that had befallen and he went out in quest of the child, whilst the other merchants also fared forth and each sought his own road. Presently, the Shahbandar, who had looked every-where, espied his son seated, naked, in the Jew’s shop and said to the owner, “This is my son.” “’Tis well,” answered the Jew. So he took him up, without asking for his clothes, of the excess of his joy at finding him; but the Jew laid hold of him, saying, “Allah succour the Caliph against thee!”201 The Provost asked, “What aileth thee, O Jew?”; and he answered, “Verily the old woman took of me a thousand dinars’ worth of jewellery for thy daughter, and left this lad in pledge for the price; and I had not trusted her, but that she offered to leave the child whom I knew for thy Son.” Said the Provost, “My daughter needeth no jewellery, give me the boy’s clothes.” Thereupon the Jew shrieked out, “Come to my aid, O Moslems!” but at that moment up came the dyer and the ass-man and the young merchant, who were going about, seeking the old woman, and enquired the cause of their jangle. So they told them the case and they said, “This old woman is a cheat, who hath cheated us before you.” Then they recounted to them how she had dealt with them, and the Provost said, “Since I have found my son, be his clothes his ransom! If I come upon the old woman, I will require them of her.” And he carried the child home to his mother, who rejoiced in his safety. Then the Jew said to the three others “Whither go ye?”; and they answered, “We go to look for her.” Quoth the Jew, “Take me with you,” presently adding, “Is there any one of you knoweth her?” The donkey-boy cried, “I know her;” and the Jew said, “If we all go forth together, we shall never catch her; for she will flee from us. Let each take a different road, and be our rendezvous at the shop of Hajj Mas’úd, the Moorish barber.” They agreed to this and set off, each in a different direction. Presently, Dalilah sallied forth again to play her tricks and the ass-driver met her and knew her. So he caught hold of her and said to her, “Woe to thee! Hast thou been long at this trade?” She asked, “What aileth thee?”; and he answered, “Give me back my ass.” Quoth she, “Cover what Allah covereth, O my son! Dost thou seek thine ass and the people’s things?” Quoth he, “I want my ass; that’s all;” and quoth she, “I saw that thou wast poor: so I deposited thine ass for thee with the Moorish barber. Stand off, whilst I speak him fair, that he may give thee the beast.” So she went up to the Maghrabi and kissed his hand and shed tears. He asked her what ailed her and she said, “O my son, look at my boy who standeth yonder. He was ill and exposed himself to the air, which injured his intellect. He used to buy asses and now, if he stand he saith nothing but, My ass! if he sit he crieth, My ass! and if he walk he crieth, My ass! Now I have been told by a certain physician that his mind is disordered and that nothing will cure him but drawing two of his grinders and cauterising him twice on either temple. So do thou take this dinar and call him to thee, saying, ‘Thine ass is with me.’” Said the barber, “May I fast for a year, if I do not give him his ass in his fist!” Now he had with him two journeymen, so he said to one of them “Go, heat the irons.” Then the old woman went her way and the barber called to the donkey-boy,202 saying, “Thine ass is with me, good fellow! come and take him, and as thou livest, I will give him into thy palm.” So he came to him and the barber carried him into a dark room, where he knocked him down and the journeymen bound him hand and foot. Then the Maghrabi arose and pulled out two of his grinders and fired him on either temple; after which he let him go, and he rose and said, “O Moor, why hast thou used me with this usage?” Quoth the barber, “Thy mother told me that thou hadst taken cold whilst ill, and hadst lost thy reason, so that, whether sitting or standing or walking, thou wouldst say nothing but My ass! So here is thine ass in thy fist.” Said the other, “Allah requite thee for pulling out my teeth.” Then the barber told him all that the old woman had related and he exclaimed, “Allah torment her!”; and the twain left the shop and went out, disputing. When the barber returned, he found his booth empty, for, whilst he was absent, the old woman had taken all that was therein and made off with it to her daughter, whom she acquainted with all that had befallen and all she had done. The barber, seeing his place plundered, caught hold of the donkey-boy and said to him, “Bring me thy mother.” But he answered, saying, “She is not my mother; she is a sharper who hath cozened much people and stolen my ass.” And lo! at this moment up came the dyer and the Jew and the young merchant, and seeing the Moorish barber holding on to the ass-driver who was fired on both temples, they said to him, “What hath befallen thee, O donkey-boy?” So he told them all that had betided him and the barber did the like; and the others in turn related to the Moor the tricks the old woman had played them. Then he shut up his shop and went with them to the office of the Police-master to whom they said, “We look to thee for our case and our coin.”203 Quoth the Wali, “And how many old women are there not in Baghdad! Say me, doth any of you know her?” Quoth the ass-man, “I do; so give me ten of thine officers.” He gave them half a score archers and they all five went out, followed by the sergeants, and patrolled the city, till they met the old woman, when they laid hands on her and carrying her to the house of the Chief of Police, stood waiting under his office windows till he should come forth. Presently, the warders fell asleep, for excess of watching with their chief, and old Dalilah feigned to follow their example, till the ass-man and his fellows slept likewise, when she stole away from them and, going in to the Wali’s Harim, kissed the hand of the mistress of the house and asked her “Where is the Chief of Police?” The lady answered, “He is asleep; what wouldst thou with him?” Quoth Dalilah, “My husband is a merchant of chattels and gave me five Mamelukes to sell, whilst he went on a journey. The Master of Police met me and bought them of me for a thousand dinars and two hundred for myself, saying, ‘Bring them to my house.’ So I have brought them.” — And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased saying her permitted say.
When it was the Seven Hundred and Fifth Night,
She continued, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the old woman, entering the Harim of the Police-Master, said to his wife, “Verily the Wali bought of me five slaves for one thousand ducats and two hundred for myself, saying, ‘Bring them to my quarters.’ So I have brought them.” Hearing the old woman’s story she believed it and asked her, “Where are the slaves?” Dalilah replied, “O my lady, they are asleep under the palace window”; whereupon the dame looked out and seeing the Moorish barber clad in a Mameluke habit and the young merchant as he were a drunken Mameluke204 and the Jew and the dyer and the ass-driver as they were shaven Mamelukes, said in herself, “Each of these white slaves is worth more than a thousand dinars.” So she opened her chest and gave the old woman the thousand ducats, saying, “Fare thee forth now and come back anon; when my husband waketh, I will get thee the other two hundred dinars from him.” Answered the old woman, “O my lady, an hundred of them are thine, under the sherbet-gugglet whereof thou drinkest,205 and the other hundred do thou keep for me against I come back,” presently adding, “Now let me out by the private door.” So she let her out, and the Protector protected her and she made her way home to her daughter, to whom she related how she had gotten a thousand gold pieces and sold her five pursuers into slavery, ending with, “O my daughter, the one who troubleth me most is the ass-driver, for he knoweth me.” Said Zaynab, “O my mother, abide quiet awhile and let what thou hast done suffice thee, for the crock shall not always escape the shock.” When the Chief of Police awoke, his wife said to him, “I give thee joy of the five slaves thou hast bought of the old woman.” Asked he, “What slaves?” And she answered, “Why dost thou deny it to me? Allah willing, they shall become like thee people of condition.” Quoth he, “As my head liveth, I have bought no slaves! Who saith this?” Quoth she, “The old woman, the brokeress, from whom thou boughtest them; and thou didst promise her a thousand dinars for them and two hundred for herself.” Cried he, “Didst thou give her the mone
y?” And she replied, “Yes; for I saw the slaves with my own eyes, and on each is a suit of clothes worth a thousand dinars; so I sent out to bid the sergeants have an eye to them.” The Wali went out and, seeing the five plaintiffs, said to the officers, “Where are the five slaves we bought for a thousand dinars of the old woman?” Said they, “There are no slaves here; only these five men, who found the old woman, and seized her and brought her hither. We fell asleep, whilst waiting for thee, and she stole away and entered the Harim. Presently out came a maid and asked us, ‘Are the five with you with whom the old woman came?’; and we answered, ‘Yes.’” Cried the Master of Police, “By Allah, this is the biggest of swindles!”; and the five men said, “We look to thee for our goods.” Quoth the Wali, “The old woman, your mistress, sold you to me for a thousand gold pieces.” Quoth they, “That were not allowed of Allah; we are free-born men and may not be sold, and we appeal from thee to the Caliph.” Rejoined the Master of Police, “None showed her the way to the house save you, and I will sell you to the galleys for two hundred dinars apiece.” Just then, behold, up came the Emir Hasan Sharr al-Tarik who, on his return from his journey, had found his wife stripped of her clothes and jewellery and heard from her all that had passed; whereupon quoth he, “The Master of Police shall answer me this” and repairing to him, said “Dost thou suffer old women to go round about the town and cozen folk of their goods? This is thy duty and I look to thee for my wife’s property.” Then said he to the five men, “What is the case with you?” So they told him their stories and he said, “Ye are wronged men,” and turning to the Master of Police, asked him, “Why dost thou arrest them?” Answered he, “None brought the old wretch to my house save these five, so that she took a thousand dinars of my money and sold them to my women.” Whereupon the five cried, “O Emir Hasan, be thou our advocate in this cause.” Then said the Master of Police to the Emir, “Thy wife’s goods are at my charge and I will be surety for the old woman. But which of you knoweth her?” They cried, “We all know her: send ten apparitors with us, and we will take her.” So he gave them ten men, and the ass-driver said to them, “Follow me, for I should know her with blue eyes.”206 Then they fared forth and lo! they met old Dalilah coming out of a by-street: so they at once laid hands on her and brought her to the office of the Wali who asked her, “Where are the people’s goods?” But she answered, saying, “I have neither gotten them nor seen them.” Then he cried to the gaoler, “Take her with thee and clap her in gaol till the morning;” but he replied, “I will not take her nor will I imprison her lest she play a trick on me and I be answerable for her.” So the Master of Police mounted and rode out with Dalilah and the rest to the bank of the Tigris, where he bade the lamp-lighter crucify her by her hair. He drew her up by the pulley and bound her on the cross; after which the Master of Police set ten men to guard her and went home. Presently, the night fell down and sleep overcame the watchmen. Now a certain Badawi had heard one man say to a friend, “Praise be to Allah for thy safe return! Where hast thou been all this time?” Replied the other, “In Baghdad where I broke my fast on honey-fritters.”207 Quoth the Badawi to himself “Needs must I go to Baghdad and eat honey- fritters therein”; for in all his life he had never entered Baghdad nor seen fritters of the sort. So he mounted his stallion and rode on towards Baghdad, saying in his mind, “’Tis a fine thing to eat honey-fritters! On the honour of an Arab, I will break my fast with honey-fritters and naught else!” — And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say her permitted say.
One Thousand and One Nights Page 827