by Jennie Marts
He held up his hands, refusing to take it back. “It’s no big deal. I didn’t go out and buy it or anything. Quinn gave it to me for Christmas last year, and I’ve never used it. She said she loaded it with some books, and I know how you like to read, and I just figured you would use it way more than I would. Or have. Plus, you can get the internet on it and do all kinds of other things besides just read. I already set it up for you with Wi-Fi and a username and a password. I put them on a Post-it on the back.”
She turned the Kindle over, and a grin tugged at the corners of her mouth as she read the note. He’d written the Wi-Fi code, then set her username as “HarperEvans” and her password as “Peaches1.”
His face broke into an impish grin. “I thought you’d like that.”
She shook her head. “I do like it. I love it. But it’s still too much.”
“Okay, then don’t take it. For now. We can just say you’re borrowing it.” He fake-coughed out the word forever.
She narrowed her eyes at him.
“Seriously. You can borrow it, if that makes you feel better.” He turned his head to the side. “You just don’t ever have to give it back.”
She really could use a way to access the internet. She’d missed being able to google and look up information.
“And I have an Amazon Prime account that’s in there. Sometimes it’s hard to get stuff in a small town, so you can use it to get free delivery out here.”
She hadn’t thought about using Amazon. That tiny tidbit was the final tipping point. She could order what she needed and not have to find ways to borrow Logan’s truck. “Okay. I’ll take it. But I’m just borrowing it.”
“Yep. Just borrow it.” He grinned. “But keep in mind you don’t ever have to return it.”
“Thank you. Really, this is great. This whole night has been amazing.” It had been great, except for the one missing component that constantly overshadowed every moment in her current life. Floyd wasn’t here. Just thinking about decorating for Christmas without her son made her stomach queasy. Had he and Judith decorated her tree together? Had he made Christmas cookies with her instead?
Judging just from Judith’s front porch, Harper was sure her house was decorated to the hilt inside. She probably even had one of those Christmas villages set up—the kind with little shops and houses that get added to every year.
Harper didn’t even have a house this year. If Floyd was with her, what would they decorate? She thought of the boxes of decorations in her grandmother’s attic. They should be home in Kansas, drinking hot chocolate and putting Floyd’s homemade ornaments on a tree they’d dragged home from a grocery store lot.
If only her grandma hadn’t died. If only she hadn’t listened to her mom. If only she hadn’t gone to jail. But all of those things had happened, and she couldn’t go backwards.
Logan touched her arm, concern creasing his brow. “Hey, you okay?”
Harper shook off the memories. No use worrying about spilled milk or, in this case, embezzled cash. “I’m fine.”
“Your eyes just got really sad. Where’d you go?”
She shook her head and pasted on what she hoped didn’t seem like too fake of a smile. “Nowhere. Sorry. Just took a quick trip down memory lane.”
He nodded. “Sorry. I’m sure all this Christmas stuff brings up a lot of memories of your grandma.” He rubbed his hand over her shoulder.
It would be so easy to step in to him, to slide her arms around his waist. He was offering something. Whether it was just a hug or something more, it was there. And her body yearned to accept it, just to take the physical touch of another person. Although she wasn’t sure a hug was where it would end with Logan. The contact might be just the beginning. But it could be the end of her job. And she couldn’t risk that. No, for now, she needed to keep her eye on the prize, and that was getting Floyd back. Although even one embrace with Logan would have been quite a prize.
“I’d better go.” She took a step back, letting his hand fall from her shoulder. “Thank you again. For everything. This has been a great night. The tree, the cocoa, the gift.” She turned and headed for her coat, her legs heavy as she pushed down the regret building in her chest at walking away from what might have been with him. But one night wouldn’t have been worth the potential cost.
Are you sure? her inner vixen asked, already pouting at another missed chance to wrap herself around the handsome cowboy. It’s not too late to turn around.
But it was too late. She needed to stay focused on what was important—what really mattered. It was fun doing holiday things with Logan, but the thing she wanted most for Christmas was to spend it with her son. And to have him back with her.
She hugged the coffee-shop bag to her chest as she hurried through the cold to the bunkhouse. Thanks to Logan’s generous “gift,” she could use her bank’s mobile app to deposit her check tonight, then finally be able to use her debit card for something besides scraping the ice off a windshield.
A tiny measure of what felt like hope bloomed in her chest as she thought about what she could do with the money. She hadn’t bought a single Christmas present. Not yet. She hummed a carol as she let herself into the bunkhouse. She had some shopping to do.
* * *
The next day, Harper found herself back at the counter of the Creedence Café, sitting on the same stool where she’d sat the day she arrived.
Logan had told her he’d be gone for the morning and early afternoon, and she’d asked to borrow the pickup again to run some errands. By errands, she meant trying to see Floyd. The night before had filled her with anguish as she longed to see her little boy. Even getting to see his face would help.
But apparently, it wasn’t meant to be. Not this morning at least. Her errands hadn’t gone quite as she’d hoped. She’d parked downtown and taken off on foot, trying to catch Floyd on the playground as she’d done before. But the schoolyard had been empty. It was a cold and snowy morning, which made Harper wonder if they had kept the kids in that day due to the cold.
The lights glowed from inside the school, and she was tempted to go inside and wander the halls, just to try to get a glimpse of him. But strangers wandering the halls of an elementary school didn’t go over very well, and she wasn’t sure making a scene at the school would be best for Floyd.
Head down, hands stuffed in her pockets, she’d walked to Judith’s house, hoping to get another chance to talk to her, to reason with the woman and try at the very least to arrange a time when she could see her son. But no one had answered when she’d rang the bell.
Feeling dejected, she’d meandered through downtown, looking in the shop windows and wallowing in a pity party for one. But a display in the department store had caught her eye, and she’d gone in and made a purchase that had brightened her spirits. The shop window had declared “Aim for the Stars This Holiday Season” and been filled with space-themed gifts.
She’d found a purple and blue comforter set depicting the Milky Way and a poster with a full moon that read “I love you to the moon and back.” She’d grabbed both, plus a night-light that shined a variety of constellations onto the ceiling and an inexpensive hanging mobile of the solar system. As she carried the things to the register, she passed an endcap that had a display of educational toys. She couldn’t believe it when she saw a box holding a small telescope on the shelf.
It was more than she should be spending, but when she’d picked it up and spied the half-off clearance sticker on the box, she knew she had to have it. She’d left the store with a renewed spring in her step, and after dropping her purchases in the truck, she’d decided to really splurge and get a cheeseburger at the diner.
The lunch hour was busy, and Bryn was hopping from table to table, but she still managed to stop at the counter and catch up for a few minutes. Harper was surprised to see Rachel, the woman she’d met the day she arrived, wearing a pink w
aitress uniform and serving coffee.
Bryn offered Harper a sheepish grin when she asked about Rachel. “I couldn’t help it. I felt so bad for her and Josh. They’re staying with me, just until she gets back on her feet and figures out what she wants to do.”
“And you got her a job at the diner?”
“She’s just filling in during the holiday rush.”
Harper arched an eyebrow at her new friend. “Are you sure you’re not related to Santa Claus? You seem to be giving a lot of people just what they need this Christmas.”
Bryn shrugged. “Maybe. I can’t seem to stop myself. When I see someone in need, I just have to jump in and help.”
The cheeseburger had been delicious, and Harper left Bryn an extra tip. Not that she could spare the extra five dollars, but Bryn deserved it. She’d done so much for others, for her. Harper wouldn’t have the money to even cover the soda she’d just drunk if it weren’t for the generous waitress.
She stopped at the store on her way back to the ranch and grabbed a couple of groceries, then spent a few hours setting up the space-themed decorations in the small bedroom in the bunkhouse. She borrowed a blue twin sheet set from the house and found some tacks to hang the poster and the mobile. There had been several rolls of wrapping paper in the boxes she and Logan had brought up the night before, so she cut a small piece to wrap the telescope and then set it on the small nightstand next to the bed.
The room looked great when she finished. Now she just needed the boy here to offer it to.
* * *
By midafternoon, Logan had finished his errands and was back at the ranch. He’d been screwing around on the computer and pushing papers around on his desk for the last thirty minutes, trying to ignore thoughts of the woman working in the next room. He’d already come up with several reasons to go into the kitchen and at least two things that he needed from his bedroom, but he knew they were all just excuses to be in the same room as Harper.
In frustration, he swiped a stack of paper off his desk, and his dark mood settled with the pages that fluttered to the floor.
He’d got up that morning thinking the Christmas decorations would make him happy and bring to mind all the fun they’d had the day before, but all the festive trimmings had done was remind him he would most likely be alone on the holiday. Christmas was getting closer, and Harper had said she’d be gone by then.
She’d made no indication that her plans had changed or that she was even interested in staying. So why did he keep hoping she’d come to him with plans to stay?
His mood had been dark all day, and he once again spent the morning admonishing himself for letting his feelings get in the way of his good sense. He’d lived this time and time again. Women acting like they cared and then leaving anyway. Why did he expect Harper to be any different? Especially when she’d already told him she planned to leave. It wasn’t a new revelation she was going to spring on him. She’d said it right from the start.
But he’d let his heart hope anyway. “Let” might be the wrong term. He hadn’t “let” any of these feelings happen. They’d come over him like a five-thousand-ton freight train speeding down the tracks. He couldn’t stop them if he tried.
And he had tried. Had tried to convince himself that Harper Evans was no one special. That she was just a woman who happened to make really great country gravy. But he knew it was more than that. Knew it the minute she stepped out of Bryn’s car and flashed him that tentative smile that held both warmness and defiance. It was a smile that said it didn’t matter if he hired her or not.
That had been attraction. And it was easy to understand why he was attracted to her—her body was a lush playground of curves, and that mess of dark curly hair was the stuff fantasies were made of. But he’d been attracted to women before, and they hadn’t affected him like she did. It was more than the way she looked.
It was the way she made him feel, the way she listened and understood him, yet didn’t accept his bullshit, and the way she challenged him when she thought he was wrong. He’d shared his biggest weakness with her, and she’d shrugged it off as if it didn’t matter—didn’t matter that it took him longer to read something or that he mixed up numbers and had to concentrate to do simple math problems that she could figure out in a split second.
Harper Evans was someone special. He could deny it until the cows came home, but he knew it was true. Knew it in the way his heart skipped a beat when she smiled at him or the way his stomach dropped when her fingers brushed his skin.
He knew she wasn’t perfect. And knew she was hiding something from him—could tell there was something going on with her in the way she sometimes couldn’t meet his eyes or the deft way she subtly changed the subject and lobbed the conversation back to him when he asked anything too personal. There was more to Harper than she was letting on, and he imagined it probably wasn’t all good.
But in his heart, he was sure she was a good person. He’d bet his last dollar on that fact. He’d seen her goofing off with Max and laughing with Bryn. He’d watched her when they were around Zane and had never caught her staring at his scar or treating the wounded man any differently. He’d witnessed her tireless work ethic but also seen her goofy fun side and knew she could sling sarcasm and jokes with the best of them.
“Hey, sorry to bother you.” Harper poked her head into the office. She glanced down at the papers scattered across the floor but didn’t comment on them. “I was going to make some hot tea. Thought I’d check to see if you wanted a cup, or a snack, or something?”
He couldn’t answer right away because his mouth had gone dry at the sight of her. She had on jeans and a faded blue flannel shirt that made her eyes seem more teal than green today. Her shirt was untucked but still hugged her curves, and she had her hair pulled up into that messy knot thing she did that had loose tendrils falling over her bare neck.
His heart thundered in his chest, and it was a wonder she couldn’t hear it beating from across the room. He wanted something all right. But it wasn’t a snack or a cup of hot tea. It was her hot body pressed against his.
He was fooling himself if he thought there wasn’t something happening here. Something more than just attraction. This was deeper, fiercer, more intense than anything he’d ever felt for another woman. Which meant it was going to hurt a hell of a lot worse when she left.
He tore his gaze from her and returned it to his computer. “No, I’m good. Thanks.”
A pounding knock sounded from the front door, and Harper turned and waved whoever was knocking in. “It’s Zane,” she told Logan.
He got up from his desk and followed her into the living room where Zane had just come in and was shaking the snow off his hat.
“Sorry to bother you,” Zane said. “But the snow is really coming down, and the National Weather Service just issued a winter storm warning.” He passed Logan his phone, the screen open to the AccuWeather forecast app.
Logan checked the screen, then peered through the front window. “Dang. It’s gotten worse just in the last half hour.” Another reason not to get involved with this woman. He was so distracted by her that he wasn’t paying attention to the weather, and ranchers were always supposed to be paying attention to the weather. “We should get out there and try to bring the cattle in before it gets any worse.”
“That’s what I was thinking. I figured we should try to get ’em all moved into that west pasture closer to the ranch before the worst of the storm hits.”
“My thoughts exactly. It’s more protected and has plenty of tree cover. Plus, we’ll know where they are and can get them fed and watered easier if the storm lingers.” He passed the phone back to Zane and reached for his jacket. “All hands on deck. Let’s take the quads and then go in a circular pattern and drive them all back.”
Harper grabbed his other coat and pulled a stocking hat over her hair.
Logan paused as he
jerked on his gloves. “Where are you going?”
“You said all hands on deck, and I can drive a quad. So I’m going with you.” She didn’t phrase it as a question but as a statement of fact.
He didn’t have time to argue. And she’d proven herself before. “Okay, but it’s gonna get pretty rough out there. You don’t have to come with us.”
She paused to give him a potent stare. “I’m from Kansas. A little snow doesn’t scare me.”
The weather app had shown signs of a formidable storm, and he had several hundred head of cattle to round up and get closer to the ranch. And he couldn’t afford to lose a single one.
So she might not be afraid, but this snow scared the hell out of him.
Chapter 18
Logan stood up on the quad and tried to peer across the field. The snow had worsened just in the time it had taken the three of them to get outfitted in winter gear and ride the four-wheelers out to the farthest pasture. It was coming down in thick, wet flakes and had already accumulated several inches.
They’d made a plan for Zane to take the left flank and Harper the right. Logan would stay in the center and pick up the slack where he was needed. The cattle were used to being herded between pastures and cooperated fairly well with only a few stragglers, and they made good time moving the herd from the north pasture into the west.
Zane pulled up to Logan as he was shutting the gate. “I just got a text from Trudy,” he said, referring to the bartender at his dad’s favorite dive. “She said my dad left the bar over an hour ago, but he hasn’t made it home. She’s been calling him to check, and he isn’t answering.”
“You better git on then and go find him.”
“I hate to leave you like this, but I’m also a little worried that my old man is passed out in a snowbank somewhere freezin’ his nuts off.”
Logan waved away Zane’s concerns. He could use the extra hand, but there was no question what came first when it came to family. And Harper had been doing a great job. She acted like she’d been born on a four-wheeler and didn’t have any trouble taking direction and getting the cattle moved. “Don’t worry about it. We already got most of the herd. Harper can help me clear what’s left of the south pasture.”